Severance (57 page)

“So,” Bruce agreed.

“I guess, same time next year, then,” she said. Bruce nodded.
They stood up and walked out of the bar, leaving the table with the pair of
untouched drinks behind.

Outside, she realized she had left the umbrella behind, hesitated,
then decided she could fake toughness as well as Bruce. Bruce noticed but didn’t
offer any comment. Together, they walked back to the main compound, heads
carefully bowed in terror.

“So, if you’re now maybe cool with meeting people,” Bruce
said, breaking the silence as they crossed a low rise, the bulk of the colony
suddenly visible ahead of them, “are you also maybe cool with helping me with
something tonight?”

“This sounds like it will be entirely legitimate.” She had
done little but work over the past year and been pretty happy about it. But she
knew Bruce had started getting itchy.

“Most definitely not. You see, I was fixing this guy’s heating
coil today, and I saw that he had a really incredible hat, and now I want it.”

“You could probably just have one made.”

“That’d reduce its value.
Inflationary haberdashery.
Come on, Stein, you’re not new at this.” He leaned over and whispered, “I’ve
already got a plan.”

She sighed. “And if you need my help that means it involves going
somewhere cramped and smelly.”

Bruce laughed, a big, showy stage laugh. “The old team,
together again!”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“Stein and Bruce! Crawling through sewers, kicking ass, and
taking names!”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“Sometimes not even kicking the ass!
Sometimes just
watching!
”

They continued back to the colony, Bruce laying out his plan
as they went. Stein, as always, protested each step, each protest, as always, somehow
binding her tighter to the scheme.

CHRIS BUCHOLZ
is a professional video game and humor writer. His weekly column at
Cracked.com
offers his readers a mix of historical curiosities, short fiction, and spectacularly bad advice. During the day he works as a writer for the video game developer
Stardock
on various game related projects, including the latest entries in the
Galactic Civilizations
and
Star Control
franchises. He lives in Vancouver, B.C. with his wife and son.

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