Seven Days (9 page)

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“
Look, baby, it’s not that hard,” Ben said, leaning into me. The stench of his breath had me wishing I could as I disappear into the dirty siding of our trailer. The sun baked aluminum burned me through my clothes as I pressed myself against it. I’d been unlucky to be caught by him as I walked from the bus stop to my house after school. I knew that my dad owed him money, so he rarely answered the door when our landlord came knocking. He’d just finished slurring his way through an offer for an alternative way for us to pay our delinquent rent, but I wasn’t able to comprehend what he was telling me.

“
I don’t understand,” I shook my head, trying scoot under his beefy arms.

“
I’m not messing around, baby. The way I see it, you guys have about two weeks before I slap an eviction notice on your door. I’ve been really considerate about your situation, but it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten a rent check from your dad, and I’m through being sympathetic,” he explained.

“
I’ve got some money saved,” I said, urgently, “I’ll give you everything I’ve got and I’ll see what I can do to get you the rest before the end of the month. Please,” I pleaded. I knew my dad’s parents were dead, and my mom’s had cut us off a few years before she died. They told her that they’d be happy to welcome her back, once she was clean. That never happened, but I was holding out hope that maybe they’d want to help their granddaughters.

“
You don’t have enough,” he said, matter of fact, caging me in tighter and giving me a whiff of his fragrant underarms. The late summer heat and his lack of deodorant were making an unpleasant combination that made it even more difficult to concentrate on what he was saying.

“
How do you know how much I’ve got?” I asked, indignantly. I’d been working any job I could find to earn money since my mom died eight months ago. I was only fifteen, so it was odd jobs like babysitting and housework, but I’d amassed a pretty decent savings. Dad had lost his job not long after the funeral and we only have a little bit of time before his unemployment would run out, too. I was doing everything I could to make sure we wouldn’t lose our house when that happened.

“
Don’t matter,” Ben declared, pushing his face closer to mine. His gray eyes were assessing me in a way I’d seen from him frequently in recent months. It made me more uncomfortable than I could verbalize. “Don’t want money.”

“
No money? What else is there that would pay the rent?” I asked, stupidly, unable to grasp that I’d just walked right into his trap. How smart he was to be able to outsmart a teenage girl.

“
I’m so glad you asked, baby girl,” he said, with a grin that showed off his yellowed teeth. “You see, Noah’s been bragging about this sweet, tight pussy he had the pleasure of sinking into, and I’d like to have myself a taste. Let’s just say, I’m willing to wipe the ledger clean for an hour of your time and give you a break on next month’s rent.”

Why would an hour spent with Ben be worth that kind of money? I wondered to myself as my naïve mind finally started to catch up. When clarity finally rung through, I couldn’t hold back my cringe at his proposition and the mention of my ex-boyfriend’s name.

“
I can’t do that,” I denied, trying again to move out of his space, but instead, found myself pinned to the side of my trailer by my throat as the evidence of his arousal stabbed at my stomach. I wanted to throw up at the idea of my disgust turning him on. His desire was being fueled by my humiliation.

“
Let me put this another way, then,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “You are going to be a good little slut and let me fuck you however I want for the next hour and I won’t kick your darling little sister out on the street to fend for herself,” he finished, punctuating his words by closing his hand over my throat. “So you’d better get on board real quick. This one time, and extremely gracious, offer expires in five…four…three—”

“
Okay,” I whispered. At my acceptance, he pulled me from the side of the trailer, threw my backpack on the porch and led me toward his house by my neck.

“
Good choice, baby girl,” he said, arranging me so my back flush with his chest and he had full access to grab at my breast roughly.

No. no. no. no. no.
I chanted in my head as Ben took off my clothes, then his. Taking his cock in hand, he shoved me to my knees.

“
Okay, slut, Daddy wants you to start by letting him fuck your throat,” Ben hissed, moving so that his erection slid over my cheek in what I think he meant to be a caress.

I tried to shake my head through the tears cascading down my face. I couldn’t do this. How could I get out of this? Did I really have any other choice?

Noah had already dumped me because I’d decided I wasn’t ready to keep up a sexual relationship after I’d given him my virginity. The night of my mother’s funeral, I’d been vulnerable and scared. He’d been so sweet to me, so supportive that I didn’t protest when he started to undress me. I let him do what he wanted that night and every night for the next month. Then the pall of death finally lifted, and I couldn’t keep going. I didn’t enjoy it, but Noah said that I couldn’t take it back. He wouldn’t play in the outfield now that he knew what it was like to slide home.

“
Say ‘yes, Daddy,” and open your mouth,” Ben commanded, bringing me back to the nightmare that had become my life. Taking a deep breath, I gathered every ounce of courage I could find inside of me and looked up at his pock-marked face.

“
Yes, Daddy,” I sobbed out and opened my mouth.

“Carrie!” I heard Ryan calling to me from beyond the fog of sleep. “Wake up, come back to me,” he coaxed. “It’s okay, you’re okay, come back to me,” he chanted, and I felt his soothing touch against my back, bringing me out of my nightmare.

Wiping my tears from my face, I pushed him away from me and sat up in our bed. Taking a few calming breaths, I turned back to him, rage evident on my face. Now that the panic and memories had passed, I was only angry that I’d let Ryan talk me into this horrible experiment. “I fucking told you it was a fluke. I fucking told you this would happen,” I seethed.

“We’re staying in a place that’s famous for its ghosts, Carrie,” he dismissed my anger. “I can hardly take the blame that the ones that haunt you took advantage. We’re trying again tonight, somewhere not known for paranormal activity.”

“Bull shit! I’m done with this case study,” I stated, taking a deep breath.

“Tell me about your dream,” he prompted, trying to rub my back through the shirt he’d let me borrow to sleep in.

“No,” I shut down.

“Then tell me about the one you had the other morning,” he tried again.

“Not going to happen,” I shifted away from him and left the bed, heading toward the bathroom.

“So is it just you and your sister? What happened to your parents?” he asked, switching gears and pushing buttons he had no business touching.

“I don’t have any parents,” I told him. “I’ve basically been raising Britton since I was 14 years old,” I imparted before slamming the bathroom door behind me and sinking to the floor my back against the tub. Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm the tremors that wracked through my body in the aftermath of my nightmare. I’d trusted Ryan to get me through it, and he’d failed. I couldn’t let my guard down like that again. I
had
to stay awake until we parted ways at the end of our trip. At least, I would be more diligent about not letting sleep close in on me.

Before I was able to calm the rush of anxiety left behind by the dream, I heard Ryan on the other side of the door. As the handle jiggled and turned, all I could do was watch, not able to bring myself to tell him to go away. The infusion of his scent to the room as he sat down next to me and wrapped me in his arms was so instantly comforting that I felt like I was going crazy. How did he get past so many of my walls so damn quickly?

“You’re about to run, aren’t you?” he muttered against my sleep-mussed hair.

“No, I just need a minute,” I answered, finally able to speak again as he rocked me back and forth gently.

“I mean, when we finally make it back to where we started, you’re running away,” he clarified, almost knocking the wind out of me again.

“How did you—”

“We can smell our own kind,” he said in an ironic tone. “It’s why I asked for an assignment across the country.”

“What? The Country Club set get boring and you decided to come to the trailer park capital of Arizona to teach
evolution
to a bunch of kids that have never heard of Charles Darwin or natural selection?” I retorted, my tone only a little sarcastic.

“I lost my best friend,” he blurted out.

My mouth gaped open at his revelation, “I’m sorry to hear about your loss.” We had more in common than I thought and my snarky words were suddenly inappropriate. I should’ve given him more credit. “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

“Do you know feels to be left behind by someone you’ve known your whole life when you
know
what killed them was their own stubbornness and stupidity?” he asked, not realizing how spot on he was with his question.

“Yeah, I do,” my response was quiet, but I could tell he’d heard me from the way his body stiffened and he stopped swaying. After a beat, he resumed his comfort, his hand stroking my hair in a way that nearly had me falling asleep again.

“Tell me about it?” he requested, his voice pleading. “Please tell me so I know I’m not alone.”

“I— I’ll try, but first, tell me how your friend died,” I implored.

“Cocaine,” he said, simply. “Fresh out of rehab,” he snorted in disgust, telling me that I might’ve found a kindred spirit in Ryan—

“What’s your last name?” I asked, only then recognizing that I’d spent forty-eight solid hours with someone and I didn’t even know his last name.

“Kelly,” he supplied. I don’t know why knowing his last name suddenly made it okay to reveal some of my past to him, but it did. Perhaps it was because I already knew so much about him, that knowing his last name just put everything into prospective. Whatever the case, having that information unlocked a door I’d previously jammed shut.

“It was my mom,” I started my story, content that he was no longer a stranger. “Actually, that was the nightmare I had the other day,” I divulged before I could second-guess myself. “I was fourteen and Britton was nine, almost ten,” I explained, taking a deep breath to help me get through the next part of the story. “She— she— just,” I stuttered. “It sounded like the house exploded. I mean, I fully expected to be crushed under the weight of the ceiling, but that’s not what happened. Fuck, there are so many times I’ve wished that’s what happened. Monsters, memories, and things I couldn’t control and never wanted. Anything and everything that scares me, that’s what haunts me when I sleep.”

“Holy fuck,” Ryan panted, able to grasp what came next in my story.

“The one about my mom, that’s my most frequent dream, but I haven’t had any in years. I exhaust myself so I can sleep without dreams,” I continued, knowing I had to share something. However, I knew there was no way I could share the reason I’d woken up soaked in my own tears that morning. “They were all high and decided a game of Russian roulette was the best idea they’d ever had because they were invincible,” I mumbled, using my father’s words that are so ingrained in my memory that I hear them echo in my head.

“Unfortunately, drugs don’t
actually
make you invincible. They only serve to remind everyone around you that you are still human,” he agreed. “Robbie was the same. He was clean, his tolerance was lowered, but he tried to snort the same amount of coke that he used to on his first hit. It sent him into cardiac arrest. It was the scariest thing I’d ever seen.”

The frantic rhythm of his heart against my shoulder as he relayed his story told me that he was probably reliving the death of his friend through his words. I wanted to help him clear the pain from his head like I knew he wanted to help me. Without anymore thought to our horrible memories, I turned in his arms and pressed my lips to his briefly. When he doesn’t respond right away, I pulled back and looked at him. His head bowed to mine and his breathing picking up as his eyes opened to look back at me.

“Is this okay?” I whispered, not sure if I’d just crossed a line. I’d never initiated a kiss before. I’d always been kissed, so I wasn’t sure what the protocol on making the first move was.

“Yeah,” his voice cracked before our lips met again. This time they met with much more force as his hand in my hair tightened. Taking over control, he tilted my head to deepen the kiss. His taste exploded inside me as our tongues met and teeth clashed with the need to lose ourselves in each other, even if for just a moment to drown out the pain.

I tried to get control over every single emotion and response that his kiss elicited from me, but before I could, my back was against the cold bathroom tiles and I could feel his hardness pressing between my legs. Instinctively, my hips surged forward to meet his and I felt my cheeks flush from our mounting tension. My heart pounded against my rib cage and blood pounded in my ears as an involuntary moan poured out of my mouth. He let loose an answering groan and his hips surged into mine again as my hands gripped the hem of his t-shirt, pulling him tighter against me.