Seven (22 page)

“So, you think someone is out to get our group from high school?” Casen scoffs at the question.

“I don’t know, man,” Reece answers. “Seems that way.”

“That kind of thinking is insane,” Casen says. “It’s a coincidence. They all were doing shit they needed to get caught for, and if someone is coming to get all of us, I’m not doing anything that I should be ashamed of. You all were the assholes in high school, not me.”

“Then why did you get that tattoo?” Reece asks.

It’s quiet for a moment before Casen responds. “So it would remind me not to stand and watch something happen when I can do something about it, Reece. You know that.”

Reece’s voice comes from above us now, he must have stood up. “I’m just saying it’s weird is all, Casen. First those guys and now Ian can’t find Annie anywhere? You don’t think that is strange?”

I’m trying to control my breathing so I don’t bring attention to the fact that I’m awake and about to have a panic attack. I can feel my pulse quickening.

“I do,” Casen continues, while I take long breaths. “But, I’m not doing shitty things with my life now, and neither are you. There isn’t anything that I’m not happy to admit to anyone. Embyr included. He can look for Annie all he wants, but what I want is right here. I’m not scared of something that seems like a coincidence.”

I can’t manage the attack any longer. The guys continue to fight, but I don’t care. I start to whimper and jump straight up, releasing myself from Casen’s arms, and run to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face. My fingers wrap around the edge of the sink and a soft knock at the door startles me.

“Come in.”

Casen walks in with a look of concern. “You okay, baby?”

I lower my chin to my chest. “Yes. I was having a nightmare,” I lie. How else am I going to explain that I’m freaked out over the walls caving in on my lies?

He pulls me away from the sink and into his chest, surrounding me with his comfort. My shoulders shake as I start to cry, but he doesn’t comment on the tears falling onto his shirt. After long minutes and I’ve calmed down a bit, Casen is called over his radio to the back of the station, so they can start washing the truck. He walks me out to the exit and thanks me for the surprise visit. I feel guilty, but I don’t focus on that for too long as his hands secure my jaw and his lips find mine. I’m lost in the feel of our mouths sealed together. Nothing else in the world matters as long as I have Casen by my side, and with that thought, everything crashes down on me again. I start to cry and he pulls back.

“Don’t cry, baby.” He kisses my cheek. “Everything is fine.”

My hands reach up, securing my fingers to his wrists. “I know. I know. I just feel that, at any moment, the ball could drop and all this will go away. I don’t want to lose you.”

Casen kisses my nose, tightening his grip on my jaw. “Embyr,” he starts and I look away because I can’t bear to stare directly in his eyes.

“Embyr, look at me,” he commands, and I do. I want to wipe the tears from my face but his thumbs beat me to it. “You’re not going to lose me. There is nothing you can say or do to make me not want to have you every day, do you understand?”

I look down again. He can’t possibly know that. I could tell him now. Tell him I’m Annie. Tell him I was the one who brought all the indiscretions to light for his high school buddies. Tell him I was going to make him fall for me and crush his heart. Tell him I felt the same way about him ten years ago. I could tell him. “You won’t lose me, Embyr. I’ve fallen so hard for you. I’ve never felt this way and I know for a fact that I am in love with you,” he admits, keeping me from releasing all of my lies and speaking the truth.

By the time I get outside, the guys have the truck out and all the things needed for its bath. I’m still on a fucking high since telling Embyr I love her, but in the back of my mind I’m kind of fucked up in the head over her having sex with her married boss. Her married boss that I went to high school with. Her married boss whom I despise. Her married boss who is a criminal in more ways than the world knows.

Reece is emptying out the back of the truck to reorganize everything when I find him. He eyes me sideways but doesn’t say anything. Our intense conversation is probably still floating around in that head of his. Ever since I’ve known him, Reece has been suspicious of everyone and everything. I can’t disagree that it’s odd all this shit went down with our high school friends around the same. I find it more of a coincidence than a conspiracy. Then, to bring up Annie’s name along with it? That is out of line. That girl was the sweetest in high school. When Annie finally showed up on my radar, it was like I couldn’t see anyone else. She was kind and had a great circle of friends. That tape ruined everything for her. No one will admit to who the culprit was but I have a pretty good idea.

“I heard what you said to her,” Reece says, grabbing one of the sponges and starts cleaning the side of the truck.

I pick up one of the scrub brushes and start working on tires. “What did I say to her?”

“That you love her.”

I stop, stand up, and straighten my back. Our eyes meet, but his look is unreadable. I don’t know if he is happy for me or not. I’m guessing not. “And?” I ask, feeling my jaw tick.

“And,” he starts, “Don’t you think it’s too soon for that?”

I drop the brush into the bucket, setting my hands on my hips. “Maybe for someone like you,” I state.

He narrows his eyes at me. “What is that supposed to mean, Casen?”

I throw my hands up. “It means that you don’t know what that feels like.” When he doesn’t respond, I continue. “Love. It may seem like it’s too soon for you, but I’ve been in love before. I know what it feels like and, for some crazy reason, even after the short time I have been with Embyr, I know my feelings for her are strong.”

“Strong, yes,” he agrees. “But, love?”

I step up to him, feeling the throbbing in my hand from punching Patrick go from dull to painful with my rising blood pressure. I would never hit Reece. Not unless he gave me a reason to. “I am done talking to you about this . . . about her. I didn’t even start this conversation. Leave my love life out of your mouth unless you are going to congratulate me on finding an amazing girl.”

He stares me down and then squeezes the trigger, spraying the truck again. We work side by side for the next hour and, by the time we’re done, our beautiful red engine shines. I smile. I take pride in my work, even if it’s to get all the shit off of our vehicle. We all head in to start getting ready for dinner. Even though the temperature has dropped over the past couple of days, that doesn’t deter us from grilling some chicken outside. We always try to eat healthy and the captain requires us to work out every day. Weights and cardio are a must. While the chicken grills, I stay inside and steam some vegetables and make a salad. Living in a fire house up to four days a week has made me a better cook. We all contribute to the food. It’s a system that seems to work for us.

I hear someone walk in but I don’t look up as I chop the cucumbers.

“I get it,” Reece’s voice echoes in the kitchen. I glance over and watch him grab paper plates and plastic ware. We may have to cook our own food, but none of us want to do the dishes.

“Get what?”

He leans on the counter next to me, watching as I drop the vegetables into the salad bowl. “You are sticking up for Embyr.” He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. “I have been thinking about it and, even though I’m not in love with Trinity, I wouldn’t want you putting your nose into how I do feel about her.”

I raise a brow at him. “And, how is that?”

“I’ve been living the college frat boy life for so long, I didn’t think I would ever want to change that up and be in a committed relationship. I like her. She gets me.”

“Even without the sex she’s holding off on?” I ask, knowing he has never been shy to talk about his sex life.

“That’s the thing. It’s me. I’m holding off.”

That catches me off guard. “Why?”

“It’s just,” he starts, scrubbing his hands down his face. “I don’t want to fuck it up. Every time I sleep with a girl, I lose interest. I like Trinity too much to let that happen.”

“So, what?” I ask, starting in on the tomato. “You’re going to be celibate your whole relationship?”

“There is no relationship,” he sternly tells me.

I raise both brows this time. “If you like this girl, Reece, you need to snag her. She’s hot, smart, and witty. Nothing like any of the one-night stands I’ve seen you take home.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

“It’s true, fucker. Stop worrying about losing interest. If you’ve been seeing her for the past couple of weeks and are going back for more, then I can guarantee, once you sleep with her, you’re going to be more interested than you already are.”

“Yeah.”

I jab him with my elbow. “Take the advice from a relationship guy. Make her yours and fuck her senseless.”

He smiles, the first time since I got here this morning. “Sure.” He pushes off the counter, snatching up a few cucumbers from the bowl. “We’ll see.”

I hear him walking away. “If you fuck her senseless, then she won’t know what a douche you are.”

He laughs, and I feel a piece of cucumber hit the back of my head.

*****

It’s close to nine o’clock when we are done with dinner and clean up. Most of the guys are in the community room watching television when Ian walks in. He sees me first and immediately looks away.

Weird.

He finds Reece and motions for him to follow into the other room. My eyes are rooted to the doorway they just through. Fifteen minutes later, Reece walks back in without Ian. I throw a pillow his way after a full minute of not looking my way. “What was that about?” The pillow misses him, and he ignores my question.

“Reece, man!” I yell across the room. He looks at me, and I can tell whatever it is that Ian told him wasn’t good. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”

He shrugs. “Nothing, man. He just invited me to play golf tomorrow.”

I let it go. I can tell he is lying but, if I know Reece at all, I know that eventually he is going to tell me.

*****

I’m sound asleep when the alarm sounds. The noise is so loud, it blocks out everything else. When I first started out, I fumbled around a lot to get ready and downstairs to the engine. Now, I’m a seasoned pro and can be ready before the alarm is done. I’m one of the first ones to the truck with Reece right behind me. We slip on our gear and hold tight as Troy, our driver, takes off. Sirens blaring, we barrel down the narrow Chicago streets to a car accident.

Being so late at night, there isn’t much traffic, so we make it to our call in record time. The EMTs in the ambulance jump out at the same time we do, finding an SUV lit on fire as its front end is embedded in the side of a minivan. We rush to hook up the hose and go to work. As I try to do with every call, I block out the images and try to do my job.

I didn’t get any sleep last night. I tossed and turned in Casen’s bed while he worked his shift, fluctuating between being nervous that I am going to have to tell him soon and elated that he is in love with me. I didn’t say it back. He told me not to, but I know I’m falling hard for him and, after I come clean about everything, whenever I get the courage, I am going to tell him how I feel.

I can hear the front door open and Casen immediately turns the alarm off so it doesn’t wake me at just past seven o’clock in the morning. It wouldn’t matter. I am wide awake. Deciding it’s better if I just wait for him to crawl into bed with me, I listen as he moves through the house, making minimal noises. Fifteen minutes after he arrives home, the door to his bedroom drags across the carpet and I can already feel my senses on overdrive. He walks over, kissing me on the cheek as I face away from him, and continues on into the bathroom to take a shower. Tingling starts to develop between my legs. He told me he loves me and despite my sleepless night, all I want to do is have him make good on his promise to fuck all past lovers out of my system. I wait a minute, hearing the sound of the shower turn on, and get up. When I open the bathroom door, steam escapes and I quickly shut it behind me. My arms cross over, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting it over my head. My breasts ache with need as I drag my panties down my legs and step toward the shower.