Seth's Cravings: An Endless Series: Book 2 (48 page)

     I hit him with my other hand. He grabbed and clutched
that one to his chest as well but I continued my tirade unable to stop the
words from spewing forth. The control I was haranguing him about was shot to
hell.    

     “After she died I knew I couldn’t continue wiz our prefious
plan. Zere was no way I was going to leave my sister and brother wiz zee
Barber’s after I graduated. So I applied for zee plumber apprenticeship in zee
hopes of making our own home so we could stay togezer. The next few years was
spent honing zis control so I could make certain my plan came to fruition. So
don’t you hold my control against me.”

     I yelled this last part and the sound reverberated
through the park shocking me and halting my emotional outburst. My eyes were
stinging with the threat of tears and it was taking what little control I had
left to stop them from falling.  

     Seth was shaking his head looking distressed. “Nadia, I
don’t hold your control against you.”

     Panting from my emotional outburst I tugged at my hands
angrily. “You were testing mine, testing me.”

     He wouldn’t let me pull away. Instead, he pulled me
nearer, folding his arms around me. “No, I swear, I wasn’t. I hate saying it,
but I was mostly thinking about myself. I was afraid of my own feelings.”

     I was shaking in his embrace. It was unfair of him to
hold me like this when I was angry because it did a lot to neutralize it. I
wanted to stay angry. His strength and the security of his arms were my
kryptonite. “You said you were also afraid of mine.”

     His chest expanded as he breathed deeply. “Only because
I thought you needed more time to catch up to mine. I may not hold your control
against you, Nadia, but I do think you apply it to every part of your life,
even your emotions. You don’t allow yourself to feel and want things like a
person without your responsibilities do, and I want you to want me, Nadia.”

     I paused in my tugging as his words hit a profound chord.
He was right; I did ignore my own desires most of the time, and hearing him
confess his want of me definitely caught my emotional attention. “I need to
think of Issy and Luka first, I don’t have the luxury of letting my emotions
take over, or to just go after the things I want. But I did that with you, Seth,
when I haven’t with anyone before. That should tell you something.”

     I found myself leaning into Seth breathing in sync with
his breaths. It was calming and much of my anger began to melt away, allowing
the other emotions to rise up to the forefront.

     Seth’s hands stroked over my back. “I did realize it
and I’m extremely grateful for the chance you took on me.”

     I snorted in a very unladylike way. “I didn’t take a
chance on you, Seth. What I felt for you was unmanageable. With you I lost my control.
I didn’t like it…but then, I did like it. Control had been my way of life for
so long that when you made me lose it I was angry with you, but I also wanted
to immerse myself in you at the same time. It was exceedingly…paradoxical.”

     Seth grunted. “Nadia, don’t make me laugh. This is
serious.”

     My lip twitched. My humor was slowly starting to come
back telling me that I was moving past my anger…now that I knew he hadn’t been
playing games with me, or breaking things off with me. I abruptly realized
that’s what I’d been afraid of the most. While Seth had been alarmed by his
deepening feelings for me I’d been worried that his feelings had been
dwindling, and I was feeling almost giddy as I comprehended what he was telling
me…what he was confessing.   

     Breathing easier I hugged him rubbing my face on his
chest. “Nothing wrong with instilling some humor in a too serious moment.”    

     He drew in another deep breath kissing the top of my
head. “Do I take it that I’m forgiven for my stupidity?”

     “Don’t forget the cowardice.” I added with another
twitch of my lips.

     His arms tightened squeezing the breath from my body,
but he let up right away causing me no harm. “So, am I hearing what I think I’m
hearing?”

     “That I agree you’re idiotic…yeah.” I received another
squeeze that made me squeak, but when he let go I continued. “That you’re a
coward…no.”

     “Why idiotic, but not the other?”

     I sighed. “Because I was just as alarmed of the
feelings I had for you. They still make me uneasy, but I don’t think I’m a
coward because of that. But I do think you’re idiotic for causing me to worry
and upsetting me.” I slapped him on the shoulder to emphasize my point.  

     Seth bent down putting his face in the crook of my
neck. He rubbed his nose on my throat and inhaled sending shivers through my
body. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that. It was the last thing I wanted
to do.”

     Closing my eyes I began to feel suddenly very tired.
The last few days had been stressful and I hadn’t been sleeping very well
because of it. “So, do you still think we should be taking it slower, because maybe
you have a point?”

     “No.” Seth responded firmly clinching me closer.
“Wasn’t I just saying that was stupid?”

     “No, you said you were stupid.” I retorted smartly with
a yawn.

     Seth snorted and his hands rubbed my back. “I was
stupid because I followed a stupid plan. I thought we’d just established that.
Don’t make yourself stupid by doing the same thing.”

     “Touché. Now I should probably get back home before I
fall down at your feet.” I mumbled.

     “To me that doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to
take you back.” 

     I huffed out a laugh. “Ha, you are funny. I was
starting to have my doubts.”

     “It’s a dry humor. A lot of people can’t appreciate
it.” He said dryly.

     Seth turned us to head back to the apartment but I
stopped him. Facing him I stroked a finger over one of his dark brows and then
down to his firm lips. “You know, I didn’t really want to slow down.”

     The dimples that popped up on his face made my heart
swell in delight. “I’m glad, because I wouldn’t have let you anyway.” Leaning
down he kissed me hungrily and it was like he was trying to make up for the
last few days of abstinence. I returned it just as greedily. I’d missed his
mouth, his touch. I’d missed him.

     I captured his head in my hands not wanting him to go
anywhere, but he pulled back breathing irregularly. “While I would love to
spend hours doing this you were yawning just a minute ago. At any rate, its way
too lit up out here for us to do anything.”

     “
Ubit’ radost
.” I grumbled letting him guide me
down the walkway.

     “Do I want to know what that means?” He chuckled.

     “I said you’re a killjoy.”

     “Yeah, I get that all the time.” He countered. “You
have quite a temper on you; did you know that?”

     “I barely hit you.” I scoffed.

     “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” He voiced wryly.

     I chuckled. “You’re right, I do have a temper. That’s
why you should be glad I employ such
control
over it.”

     “I don’t know. I kind of liked you all irate and
swinging.”

     “Let’s see if you still say that when I start throwing
things at you.” I challenged.

     “Don’t tease me.”

     “I’m not joking.” I gave him an uber serious look.

     “That’s not what I meant.” He said with a smirk
squeezing my butt.

     I frowned in confusion to his meaning, but then it hit
me and I smacked his chest. “You are such a perv.”

     Seth chuckled. “Dug deep for that epithet, didn’t you.”

     “Give me a break, I’m tired.” I grumbled.

     We climbed the stairs to my apartment and when we
reached the top Seth stopped me at my door. Pulling me close he bent down, kissing
along my jaw. “I’m not going to come inside tonight because you’re tired, and I
would only keep you up late making you more tired, but can we do something this
weekend, maybe tomorrow?”

     I sighed in pleasure at his touch, and displeasure at
his leaving, but he had a point. “Yeah, how about we text each other tomorrow
with some ideas.”

     He licked my ear and whispered. “Nadia, it’s going to
be real easy to fall in love with you.” I sucked in a sharp breath at his words
and he pulled away to look down at me. “Do those words scare you, because they
don’t scare me any longer?”

     I stared up at him overwhelmed. “I…I don’t know. I…” I
struggled with my words because I had no idea what to say. My feelings were too
intense and complex to voice out loud. Especially after what I just went
through in the last four days.

     Smiling tenderly at me he bent down, softly caress my
lips. “I don’t expect an answer, or a reply. It took me four days to wrap my
mind around it. I just wanted you to completely understand where my mind was at.”

     I stood there in shock as he gave me one last consuming
kiss, which only left me more dazed, before he turned and walked away. Stepping
over to the railing I watched as he walked across the parking lot and climbed
into his truck with a goodbye salute. And I continued to stand there as he
drove away as well as several minutes after, his words reverberating in my
head.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

SETH

     “Dude, I love Halloween; college girls, slutty
costumes, excessive drinking, it’s the perfect night.” Evan exclaimed
enthusiastically.

     It was Halloween night, and fortuitously it was falling
on a Saturday this year for those of us who celebrated it. Evan was wearing a
Safari hat, a sleeveless khaki shirt, and a shark tooth necklace; a sort of
Crocodile Dundee costume. The attire wasn’t even close to what the guy in the
movie wore, but none of us guys were very detailed with our costumes.

    The five of us, as well as Blake, Carrie, and Amanda
were congregating in our kitchen getting a meal in before going out for the
night. Nadia was on her way over to go out with us as well, while Luka watched
Issy. Coming from Russia they weren’t big on celebrating Halloween.  

     “How is that different than any other weekend?” I asked
scooping out some Kung Poe Chicken onto a plate. I was wearing a biker vest
with chains over a black t-shirt and black jeans.

     Evan looked stumped for a second than smiled. “All
three get amped up about twenty-five percent.”

     Pouring myself some ice tea I sat down at the counter.
“That just means more squealing, too many girls in scanty cat and nurse
costumes, and an excessive amount of vomiting.”      

     Evan dished out his own plate of Kung Poe. “Nothing
wrong with number two, and sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.”

     “Number two.” Noah chortled. He was dressed as a half-assed
police officer wearing a short sleeved uniform top with a plastic badge, and police
hat with jeans.

     I rolled my eyes and spooned food into my mouth. That
guy sometimes had a very juvenile thought process.

     “That’s an exceedingly philosophical attitude to take,
Evan. I almost feel like I should applaud or something.” Amanda commented
sarcastically from the table. She was garbed as a convict in black and white
strips, the counterpart to Noah’s cop. She had an actual entire costume unlike us
guys, and while it didn’t show a lot of skin it was figure enhancing.  

     “It’s something I’m accustomed to, so by all means.”
Evan waved his hand regally for her to proceed.

     “Maybe we should switch costumes, Evan; mine would fit
your personality better.” Landon offered out the paper Burger King Crown he was
wearing. It was the lamest costume out of all of us, but I was just glad he was
going out. He hadn’t done anything fun since the beach house. He had actually
cracked a few smiles tonight, but that could be a result of the several beers
he’d consumed tonight.

     Evan gave Landon’s paper crown a disgusted look. “If I
wore that the only thing I’d be picking up tonight would be woman of the hefty
variety.”

     Blake was sitting next to me industriously eating and I
heard his muttered, “Oh shit,” before he stuffed another forkful of food in his
mouth.

     “You never know, Evan; they may initiate you into a
whole new world of sensual delights. Don’t knock them until you try them.” Carrie
remarked with a pointed look. She didn’t normally offer up sexual statements, therefore
Evan’s comment must have offended her for her to correct him subtly like that.

     Evan’s comment was more suited for an all guy assembly;
it certainly wasn’t something that should have been aired anywhere in the
vicinity of a female. He totally should have known better.

     “Evan knows his limitations; it’s why he chooses skinny
airheads. They’re the only ones that can appreciate his diminutive appendage.”
Amanda gave him an evil sneer over her sweet and sour chicken. Looks like
Carrie wasn’t the only one who took offense.

      Evan grimaced and his gaze shifted from Carrie to
Amanda realizing his mistake. He wisely kept anything he might have said to
correct her remark on his diminutive size to himself.

     “Carrie, how come your roommate never comes out with
us? Are we not good enough for her or what?” Evan asked, changing the subject.

     I grinned inwardly at Evan’s question. He’d inquired
about Carrie’s roommate, Shaw, several times now wondering why she never
partied and hung out. It wasn’t hard to see that he was getting a hard-on for
the girl but she seemed to have no clue he was alive. The first time he’d met
her was on the campus grounds at the end of spring term. They hadn’t been
roommates at the time but she and Carrie had been walking together and Evan,
Nic, and I had run across them near the cafeteria.