Serial Killer's Soul (22 page)

The night of Jeff’s death, as I was on my way to Milwaukee, I watched the news on TV and I read the coverage in the newspapers. Some people said it was tragic that Dahmer was dead because now he couldn’t assist medical science by telling them what made him do the things he did. They believed that because he was an intelligent, articulate man, he could have helped society deal with or perhaps prevent other potential serial killers from murdering.

In St. Louis, Chicago, and Milwaukee, I heard people talking about Scarver’s motive for killing Dahmer. Were his actions racially motivated? Was Scarver angry with whites in general? Various media reports over the next few months said Scarver had depression, psychosis, delusions, bi-polar disorder, manic depression, and schizophrenia, and took anti-psychotic medications. Scarver claimed to hear voices that would tell him what to do, say, and whom to trust. He said those voices told him that he was the Son of God, the “chosen one,” and that he was suppose to kill Dahmer. Scarver apparently planned the murder.

Scarver entered a plea of not guilty due to mental illness during his trial for the murders of Dahmer and Anderson. However, the judge ruled Scarver was mentally competent to stand trial. Scarver was charged with both murders and received two more life sentences in addition to his current life sentence for Lohman’s murder.

I found out that a year or so after Scarver’s conviction, he was transferred to the federal prison in Florence, Colorado, known to be one of the most secure prisons in the U.S. federal system. The Wisconsin prison system thought he was too dangerous and feared for the safety of the guards and inmates.

Scarver eventually returned to Wisconsin to the Supermax prison in Boscobel, the state’s most secure maximum-security prison, where he continues
to serve his time.

During the week after Jeffrey’s death, the media interviewed many family members of Dahmer’s victims. Few expressed sadness over his death; most were glad he was gone.

The general lack of remorse over Dahmer’s death was understandable. And, although few people actually mourned his passing, I was among those who did grieve. I remembered all the late-night talks I had with him from our adjoining cells at Columbia. I remembered his anguished, twisted feelings about his victims and the way he carried out the murders. I recalled the many conversations we’d had about Jesus Christ and the lessons for living a good life that Jesus had left for us in the New Testament.

I thought about all the letters I’d written to Jeff, the ones written when we were both at Columbia and the dozens of letters I wrote to him after I was moved from the cell next to him, to Racine, and finally to Kettle Moraine.

Since March 1992, I’d tried so hard to share with Jeff the goodness of the Lord in those letters that when he was murdered, I truly felt emptiness inside me. I wondered if Jeff was at peace. Had my messages gotten through to him? Had he truly accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior? Did Jeff really believe that Jesus died for his sins, the most brutal, vicious sins imaginable? I wondered and thought and prayed.

That night I opened my Bible to II Timothy.

I have fought long and hard for my Lord, and through it all I have kept true to him. And now the time has come for me to stop fighting and rest. In heaven a crown is waiting for me which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that great day of his return. And not just to me, but to all those whose lives show that they are eagerly looking forward to his coming back again. (II Timothy 4:7-8,
TLB
)

Was Jeffrey Dahmer now at total rest and peace with God in heaven? I remembered the many times I’d read Jeffrey the comforting words in Ephesians.

Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and
dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ. (Ephesians 4:31-32,
TLB
)

After I’d read those words to Jeffrey, I’d say, “Jeff, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, if you repent sincerely, God will forgive you. He will forgive anyone for anything, many, many times. He has forgiven me so many times. Alleluia, thank you, God!”

I recalled another of what seemed like Jeffrey’s favorite verses from Mark.

But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you your sins too. (Mark 11:25,
TLB
)

It seemed Dahmer had slowly but surely come to grips with the knowledge that even
his
sins could be forgiven.

I remember he told me once he especially liked the way Psalms 102 began: “Lord, hear my prayer! Listen to my plea!” Jeff liked that verse because he, too, was crying out. He was tired and wanted forgiveness.

I hoped that I helped to show Jeff the way. I believe I gave him the tools. With the help from other ministers, priests, nuns, and his baptism, Jeff had everything he needed.

I don’t think Jeff ever thought about God and forgiveness until he got to prison. That’s why prison was the best thing that ever happened to him. Prison gave him the opportunity to be with people filled with God’s forgiving spirit.

Jeffrey Dahmer did horrible things and hurt many people. He suffered a lifelong battle with Satan. I’m sure it is easy for people who did not experience what I had experienced to doubt Dahmer’s sincerity. Only after his arrest did he begin to have an interest in faith. This leaves us with many questions. Was Jeff’s decision to be baptized and learn about God all for selfish, earthly motives? Was he just doing it to have people take pity on him, with hopes of getting a lighter
jail sentence down the road? Was he like the hypocrites Jesus talked about in the Bible, people who act holy to get good graces but in reality have hearts of stone? Or was Jeff truly sorry for the wrongs he committed and wanted to live a new life with God?

Everyone must draw their own conclusions about Dahmer’s sincerity and decide for himself or herself what was really in his or her heart.

But the most important spiritual question will always remain: Did God forgive Jeffrey Dahmer for his horrible sins against humanity?

Truly, only God can answer that question.

I believe with all my heart that as long as Jeffrey didn’t blaspheme our Lord Jesus Christ, and if he truly asked for it, he certainly received the gift of forgiveness. I believe he was earnestly seeking God and wasn’t putting on a show for sympathy. As time went on, both while I was with him and in the next couple of years when I saw him on TV, it was evident to me by his voice, facial expressions, and the things he said that he seemed truly sorry for his sins. Jeff apologized to the ones he hurt and said he wished he had never done the things he did.

Furthermore, he wanted to learn about God. He wanted to learn about a life not shrouded by Satan’s darkness but filled with the forgiving truth and light of God. It is my conviction that in the end the truth really did set Jeffrey free. Just as it will for all of us, if we only believe.

Today you will be with me in Paradise. This is a solemn promise. (Luke 23:43,
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)

Take Care – Jeff

If you only knew what a wonderful gift God has for you, and who I am, you would ask me for some living water! (John 4:10, TLB
)

My experience with Jeffrey Dahmer was both frightening and enlightening. He was, for many, the scariest, most evil man on earth. I heard in the media that even after he died and was taken to the morgue at the University of Wisconsin hospital in Madison, his feet remained shackled.

I also read that doctors removed Dahmer’s brain, preserving it for future study. Jeff’s mother, Joyce, wanted his brain studied to see if there was some biological physical evidence for why this happened to her son.

According to his will, Jeff wanted his body cremated as soon as possible and he didn’t want a funeral service. Officials preserved his body until after the trial of his killer, Christopher Scarver, then it was cremated.

Lionel Dahmer wanted Jeff’s brain cremated, too, against the wishes of his ex-wife. Lionel insisted there was nothing to learn from Jeff’s brain and that it was time to let go of the past. The two went to court and a judge ruled in favor of Lionel. Jeff’s brain was cremated on December 12, 1995. Lionel and Joyce split Jeff’s ashes and both tried to move on and live normal lives.

In 1996, an independent third party bought Dahmer’s belongings and destroyed them out of state so no one could ever find them.

If Jeff were still alive, he would be continuing to serve his life sentences. If he were still alive, I know I would still be writing to him and praying for him. I would still be telling him not to give up, and to put his life in God’s hands.

Even now, even after all these years, I still think about Jeff. It’s comforting for me to believe that he is finally at peace with himself, his crimes, men like Scarver who wronged him, and is with God in heaven.

I have told you my story with the hope that it may make you think
about the power of God’s forgiveness. I give my highest thanks to God, who assisted with this project. I also thank God for all the messages about his goodness that are there for all of us in the Holy Bible, messages that have helped me learn what it means to be a Christian.

When we walk with God, we walk with a new assurance. Our problems may stay, our circumstances may not change, but we must know that God is in control. We, as Christians, must focus on God’s adequacy, not on our own inadequacies.

Because of my experience with Jeffrey Dahmer, I learned that there is no end to the seasons of fresh encounters we may have with God. We can never exhaust his goodness. Each time we have a personal encounter with Him, we will see more clearly our own weaknesses and that will help us, in turn, magnify the awesome reality of Christ’s love for us.

I also believe that God put a new being in Jeff’s heart. God called him to serve in all ways. It says in Deuteronomy 4:29 that “you shall find him when you search for him with all your hearts and souls.” II Corinthians 5:17 also tells us that when you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, “he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same any more. A new life has begun!” (
TLB
)

I believe Jeffrey accepted Christ as his Savior and at that moment he, too, became new. His sins were forgiven and, from that moment, God never gave up on him.

Many people believe that God can only forgive sins that are no worse than the ones they, themselves commit. They think that God won’t or can’t possibly forgive sins against humanity such as the ones Dahmer committed. I say to those people to read Matthew 17:20: “For if you had faith even as small as a tiny mustard seed you could say to this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would go far away. Nothing would be impossible.” (
TLB
)

As Christians we must believe that nothing is impossible for God, including forgiveness of sins we think are beyond forgiveness.

I believe that, during the last years of his life, Jeffrey Dahmer took comfort in knowing God, his son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. After all, God
did make a promise to us that if we serve with all our hearts, he will restore what the devil has destroyed within us. That promise is in John 3:3, “Unless you are born again, you can never get into the Kingdom of God.” (
TLB
)

When asked what “born again” meant, Jesus answered in John 3:5, “What I am telling you so earnestly is this: Unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the Kingdom of God.” (
TLB
) In other words, we must be baptized into the Christian faith.

During his incarceration at Columbia, in spring 1994, Jeffrey was baptized in a ceremony that guaranteed his entrance into the Kingdom of God. At that moment he was no longer an evil man possessed by the devil, but rather, a new creation.

The promise is there in John 5:24. Jesus himself was talking. “I say emphatically that anyone who listens to my message and believes in God who sent me has eternal life, and will never be damned for his sins, but has already passed out of death into life.” (
TLB
)

My prayer for each person who reads this book is that you have already or will soon experience the same goodness, forgiveness, and power of God, the Holy Spirit, and our Lord Jesus Christ, that Jeffrey Dahmer experienced. I also pray that you, too, will have the profound experience of sharing your faith with another lost soul the way I did.

God bless you.

Herman Martin

During the process of researching and writing this book, based on the notes Herman Martin kept in prison, I interviewed many people including Dick Heath, special investigator for Milwaukee’s district attorney. Heath was present and videotaped the four-day, twenty-four-hour interview that prosecuting psychiatrist Dr. Park Dietz conducted with Jeffrey Dahmer before the trial.

During that time, while Heath listened as Dahmer carefully detailed his crimes for Dr. Dietz, Heath indicated he never once saw or heard any racial motivation for what Dahmer did, nor did he hear any indication of racial prejudice from the prisoner himself.

Heath told me, “Jeffrey Dahmer did not brag or boast about his crimes in any way during any of the interviews I observed. Dahmer’s victims were white, black, Asian, American Indian, Hispanic, and Puerto Rican. The race didn’t matter to him. In fact, Jeff was kind to minorities. What he wanted was a young, small-boned, smooth-skinned male with a good physique. Jeff Dahmer was not a violent man. He never took one victim to his apartment against his will. He drugged all his victims before he killed them. It’s true, he was a coward who avoided confrontation, but he was definitely not a racist.”

While I wrote this book and read Herman’s notes that repeated over and over his belief that Dahmer was a racist, I asked Herman, “How could Dahmer say those hateful things about blacks when you, his friend, are a black man? How could the special investigator who witnessed twenty-four hours of questioning of Dahmer by Dr. Dietz, say that Jeff definitely was not a racist?”