Read Serendipity and Me (9781101602805) Online
Authors: Judith Roth
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Dad has never told me
why I can't have a cat.
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He has just told me No
and turned his face away
stared out the window
or into his book
his mouth held
like there are marbles
resting on his tongue
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like the marbles
are years of tears
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petrified.
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Dad goes out the front door.
I hear his footsteps
scrape past the empty carport
then stop.
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I picture him
scanning the horizon
searching for the troublemaker
who dropped a cat
into our lives.
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By the time he comes back
the kitten is already
kneading a soft spot
in my stomach.
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Any ideas who left the cat?
he asks.
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I shake my head.
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His eyes squint
into his thinking expression
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figuring a way
I suppose
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to send the cat back.
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It is lucky for me
I'm sick and sad.
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Now may be my only chance.
Can't I keep it?
Please?
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The shades come down over Dad's eyes.
You know cats aren't an option.
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For tonight, at least?
You can't throw it out in the cold.
I wipe at my mascara-running eyes
and tearstained cheeks
to remind him
who he's dealing with
tonight.
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Dad sighs
looks at his watch.
I guess it
is
pretty late.
I can take it to the shelter tomorrow.
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I kiss the kitten's forehead
and it straight-arms its paw
on my mouth.
Boy or girl?
I ask.
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Dad sighs again, then checks.
I think it's a girl.
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Maybe looking at the end
reminds him.
I hope she's litter-trained.
I'd better go find a box
and some newspaper.
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My heart says
And a way.
I'd better
find a way
that she can stay.
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At least she is mine
for tonight.
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I can pretend she'll be mine
forever.
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I'll begin with her name. . . .
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She's white as a snowball
but she's warm
not frozen.
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She's squishy and soft and sweet
as a marshmallow.
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But she's delicate as an orchid
graceful as a ballerina
miraculous as an angel.
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I can't believe my luck
that she's here with me.
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I guess Dad named her
after all.
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Serendipity.
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It's been three years.
You'd think we'd be better
by now. . . .
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Dad does the best he can
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but I remember
cheek-kisses
soft as velvet.
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I remember
a gentle voice saying
It's all right, honey bunny,
I'm here.
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I remember
sweet smells and a cushy robe
when we hugged after her bath.
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Tonight in my room
I sprinkle Mom's scented powder
on Serendipity
and I lay my cheek on her side
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and I remember
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soft.
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Serendipity is curled on my pillow.
Her kneading claws
catch on the eyelet edging
her throat rattles from purrs
her head is snuggled into my neck
so sweet it makes
my heart hurt.
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I thinkâ
This is what I've been missing
all these years.
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I thinkâ
I don't want to miss this
anymore.
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I thinkâ
No is not a fair word
when you're a kid
without a mother
and you need something soft
to hold on to.
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I reach for the phone
dial Taylor's number.
Dad would say ten is too late
but I know Taylor won't care.
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She answers so cheerfully
I have to bury the phone in my quilt.
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She must have had a blast
being Nana in the play.
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I feel a twinge
but it doesn't matter as much anymore.
Shhh
, I say.
This is secret.
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What?
she asks, suddenly quiet.
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How was the play?
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Greatâwhat's the secret?
Patience is not one of her virtues.
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I have a cat for the night,
I say.
And I need to keep her forever.
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Taylor is always ready.
What do you need me to do?
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This is what we work outâ
Taylor will pretend
her mom is considering
adopting the kitten.
She just needs a week
to think
to work out the details.
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But this will not happen.
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Dad doesn't know Taylor's mother
is allergic to cats.
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Dad doesn't know
if we keep Serendipity
for a week
he will get over his No
because he will fall in love
with this kitten.
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He will get over his No
because he will see
how much
I need her.
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He will get over his No.
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He has to.
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