Separation (19 page)

I'll never see Jameson again.

And that thought, more than anything, absolutely terrified her.

She scrambled over the side of the deck, making it down a couple rungs before she lost her grip and fell into the ocean. She couldn't see shit, but Tate dove under water as far as she could. Resurfaced. Went back. Screamed his name. Over and over, screamed his name. She had never wanted to hear his voice as much as she did in that moment. Wanted to hear him yelling at her to shut the fuck up. Yelling at her to stop fucking screaming.

“
Stop fucking screaming
.”

I've gone crazy. I killed Jameson, and I've gone crazy.

She went still, treading water, looking around her. There was another sound, a cough, and she looked up. Jameson was standing on the deck, staring down at her. She gasped and fell under the surface of the water. Struggled to swim back up. She was having trouble – her heart seemed to have fallen out of its cavity and was now somewhere in her stomach.

She gagged and broke the surface, gasping for air. She couldn't see anything, her hair was covering her face, but something grabbed her arm. Strong fingers wrapped around her forearm, hauled her up against the boat. Pulled her onto the ladder. She found the railings and clung to them, wiping her hair out of her face as best she could with her shoulder.

“Dead ..., I thought you were dead ..,” Tate gasped. Jameson was on the ladder next to her, leaning out over the water.

“If you want to kill me, Tate, you're going to have to try a little harder. C'mon,” he urged, curling an arm around her hips and pushing her upwards.

When she got to the top, she stumbled away from the railing, pressing a hand to her heart. She stood with her eyes closed, trying to catch her breath. She had thought he was dead. Gone forever. And that had terrified her. More than jail, more than murder, more than anything. Not seeing him, ever again. Extinguishing him. If Jameson was gone, what would become of her?

Stupid girl. It was never a game.

“I thought you were dead,” she breathed, turning around to face him. He was walking towards her, running his hand through his hair, shaking the water out of it.

“Not quite,” he laughed.

“But ..., I saw the anchor, I thought it hit you. You didn't come up,” Tate said.

“It didn't hit me, I didn't die. The anchor, unfortunately,
did
die. The chain wasn't attached to the boat. It's somewhere on its way to the bottom now,” Jameson sighed, almost sad sounding as he glanced behind him at the water. Tate was a little blown away.

“You're sad about losing an anchor, and you almost
died
. Where the fuck did you go!? I screamed at you for forever!” she demanded.

“It dragged me under the boat – when I came up, I almost smacked into the bottom of the hull. I swam to the back, came up those stairs,” he explained. She shoved at his chest, albeit gently this time.

“It didn't occur to you to fucking say something!?” she snapped.

“No. You had just shoved me overboard,
with an anchor chained to my ankle
. I didn't think you really gave a fuck,” he replied. Tate shoved him again.

“Of course I give a fuck! I was freaking the fuck out! I thought you were dead! Why didn't you say anything!?” she shouted, slapping her hands against his chest.

“You were screaming enough for the both of us. I'm surprised the
Servicio Maritimo
isn't out here, the way you were carrying on,” Jameson told her, grabbing at her wrists. She yanked away.

“Well, I thought you had died, you stupid fuck! Do you have any idea how horrible that feels!?” she shrieked at him. He glared down at her.

“Yes,
you stupid fuck
, I know
exactly
how that feels!” he yelled back.

She gasped, and it was like a dam inside her broke. A wall collapsed. A series of explosions, bringing down all her defenses. What a horrible world it would be, if she couldn't wake up and play with Jameson. Fight with Jameson.
Be
with Jameson.

Tate practically jumped on him, her mouth on his before her feet had even left the ground. He knew it was coming – he
always
knew – and his arms were around her, holding her up. Holding her to him.

Jameson stumbled towards the door, pressed her against the wall while he struggled with the door handle. She kept trying to lift her legs, but her stupid skirt was in the way. When they got inside, she let go of him long enough to shove the soaking wet material off of her body, and then Jameson grabbed her again, his hands on her ass, guiding her legs around his waist.

Tate groaned, letting her head fall back while he kissed her neck. He walked them downstairs, holding onto her the whole way. His shirt had a tear at the back, from his adventure with the anchor, and she pulled at it. Ripped a seam across the top, let her hands dive inside, let her nails score across his skin. He hissed, and his lips were replaced by his teeth. They pushed and pulled at each other, bumped into walls, ricocheted off, stumbling around in their need for each other.

He kicked open his bedroom door, breaking the frame, and Tate was suddenly
very
glad that he had left Sanders on shore. Jameson held onto her hips as he turned around, sitting at the foot of the bed while she pulled her tank top off. His mouth immediately went to her cleavage, while his hands slid up to her shoulder blades.

She pushed him away, forced him back so she could rip his shirt off. It felt like she was in hyper-drive. If she slowed down, not all of her molecules would stop with her, and she would burst into a million pieces. How would Jameson ever find her then?

“This is happening,” he breathed, his lips moving across her face as he reached around and undid her bra. “
Please, please, please, please ...,
”

Is Jameson Kane
begging
!?

“Yes,” she breathed back, tossing the bra to the other side of the room. His hands gripped her hips and he rolled them over, moving them up to the center of the bed.

“This was
always
going to happen,” he told her, working his way down her body. Tate nodded and stretched out underneath him, gripping at the blankets above her head.

“Yes,” she agreed.

She felt his teeth low on her stomach, scraping against her underwear. Then he was biting at the satin, pulling it over her hips. He worked it all the way to her knees before he stood up, yanking them past her feet. He dropped his pants to the floor and then he was covering her again, his hands everywhere.

“I'm sorry I threw you over overboard,” he whispered. Tate managed a laugh.

Is Jameson Kane
apologizing
!?

“I'm not sorry I pushed you,” she replied. He snorted.

“Yes, you fucking are.”

“
Yes
.”

His fingers kneaded into her flesh, almost massaging her. It had been so long since he had touched her like that; she practically leapt at the feel of his hands. He left scorched flesh in his wake, a burning sensation in her soul. When his fingers were swimming in and around her, all over her, reaching deep inside of her, she gasped and cried out. Arched away from the bed as his lips covered her nipple. Then he was moving between her legs.

It flashed across her mind that maybe this wasn't the best idea, jumping into sex with Jameson when only an hour ago she had been ready to tell him she wanted to go home – near death experiences were no excuse, she of all people knew that.

But then he was demanding entrance, and Tate had never been very good at denying him. Probably because she never wanted to. His erection pressed against her, pressed inside of her. She dug her nails into his back, hard, and raked them across his shoulders while she gasped. Jameson groaned loudly, pressing his hips tight to hers.

“Fuck,” he whispered, his forehead dropping to her breast bone. She wiggled her hips against him, rotated her pelvis in a circle, and he groaned again.

“Yes,” she whispered back. Chanted. “
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
”

He moved out, then pushed back in, and she cried out. Even she was surprised by her response to him. In previous times, Tate had always been up for some good sex. Orgasms typically came easily and readily for her, she was very lucky, she knew. But usually
some
work was required.

Not this time. She felt like she was going to explode,
immediately.
Like a corked bottle, full of fine champagne and effervescence. Her breathing hitched and she knew she was whimpering, whining. Praying.

“Holy shit, Tate,” Jameson whispered, one of his hands covering her breast. She moved her hand over his, squeezed.

“Please. Please, god, please,” she begged, not even able to move anymore. She felt tiny tremors beginning to run all under her skin.

Suddenly, he was rolling them again. She felt dizzy as she tried to steady herself, her eyes shut tight while she clung to his shoulders. He sat upright with her straddling him, then he put his hands on her knees. He pushed them wider, causing her to slide lower on his shaft. She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and the tremors turned into all over shaking as he slid so deep inside of her, there was no going back.

“It's okay, baby girl,” Jameson whispered against her ear as he moved his hands to her hips, urging her to move. Rocking her hips against him. She groaned and let her head fall back, her eyes fluttering closed.

“Jameson, I'm ..., I'm ...,” she gasped, running her hands into her hair as they picked up speed. He always filled her up, so much. There wasn't enough space for both of them. Just him. Why didn't she ever remember that? She was going to explode.

“
It's okay
,” he urged, fingers biting into her flesh.

When his teeth clamped down on her nipple, she lost her fucking mind. Actually screamed. One hand went to his head, pulling his hair while at the same time holding him to her. It felt like she came
forever,
shaking and gasping for air on top of him. Her body turned to jell-o, all of her muscles dissolved.

When the biggest part of her orgasm had subsided, Jameson laid down, taking her with him. Tate panted against his chest and his arms came to rest around her waist, his fingers drawing lazy circles in her skin. She shuddered and pressed her face against him, ran her teeth along a muscle.

Something was different. It was
so
different. She couldn't put her finger on it at first. Sex between them was always amazing, so the orgasm didn't shock her. He hadn't come, but that wasn't necessarily a surprise, either – Jameson usually liked to wring a couple orgasms out of her first, before giving her one of his own. It had been a lot quicker than normal, but they had all night, so it wasn't that. Sure, it had been a little quiet, but ...,

Tate's eyes snapped open and she grew still on top of him. They were
never
quiet during sex. Jameson was the most talkative man in bed she'd ever met – and that was saying something, considering she used to sleep with Ang on the regular, and he
never
shut up.

Jameson used words the way other people used toys; vibrators, whips, ropes. Backed up by his hands, so demanding in their grab and pull. But not this time. Tate felt amazing, like she was glowing. God, he'd been so gentle. What the fuck did that mean!? It certainly wasn't anything like the sex they used to have, back in Boston. She suddenly felt ill. Jesus, they weren't ..., they didn't ..., they hadn't just
made love
, had they!?

You're losing again, baby girl.

“Get up,” Jameson suddenly urged, slapping her on the ass. She was still reeling from her moment of introspection, and just fell off of him as he started to sit up.

“Huh?” she asked as he got off the bed.

“Get up, let's go,” he said, grabbing her arm and yanking her to her feet. She almost didn't make it, and he grabbed her around the waist.

“I'm sorry, wait. What's going on?” Tate asked.

“You were laying there thinking, never a good thing. Stop it. Follow me,” Jameson said, then he was pulling her across the room.

“I was only -,” she started to argue.

“Shut up, Tate. Don't ruin this.”

He led her across the large room, into his master bath. She had never been in there, and was a little stunned. There was a huge circular jacuzzi tub. Did Jameson take baths? There was also a large, glass enclosed shower stall. He turned both taps on, then pulled her into the shower while the tub filled up.

“What are we doing?” Tate asked, slicking her hair away from her face. He  grabbed her hips and pulled her close.

“Getting reacquainted.”

“I thought we just did that,” she laughed.

“No, we had sex,” Jameson replied, pinching her chin between his fingers and forcing her to stare at him. “Now that it's out of the way, maybe you'll hear me.”

She swallowed thickly and pulled herself free of him. The sex hadn't been quite as scary as she thought it would be, it hadn't quite broken her. But talking – now that was
really
dangerous. If he started saying things she'd always wanted to hear, she wouldn't be able to handle it. He would really win, once and for all.