Separation Anxiety (20 page)

We ate dinner with his parents and I fell a little more in love with them as I fell a little more in love with him. Each moment that passed brought me a moment closer to the time when we could finally be together in every way that mattered.

Jesse’s parents both had work the next day; his mom’s spring break didn’t start until the next week, and Dr. Phil had patients lined up for the next day, so they headed to bed early.

We sat on the patio with the three Bs: beer, Barry, and banter.

Barry was perched on my lap, sleeping, the occasional snort escaping him as he dreamed of Milk Bones and long walks.
In one hand, I held my beer on the armrest, and my other arm dangled from the side of my Adirondack chair, as did Jesse’s. His fingers found mine and tangled together. I leaned my head against the back of the chair and stared up at the night sky, listening to the romantic and tranquil waves as they rolled rhythmically in and out. Aside from the completion of my split from Richard, I couldn’t think of a single thing on earth that would make me feel more contented than I did in that moment.

And then the very next words that fell from his lips after I’d had that thought made my already contented heart soar with love.

“You know how I told you that I’m taking a road trip in June?”

I turned toward him and nodded, not lifting my head from the back of the chair
in complete and utter laziness.

“Come with me.”

I sat up in shock, apparently inconveniencing Barry, who sighed in bitter frustration the way only dogs can and jumped off my lap.

“Come with you?” I asked.

He nodded and sat up, mirroring me.

“Yeah, V. Come with me. And when your divorce is finalized, wherever we are, that’ll be our night.”

Our night
.

I liked the sound of that.

I liked the sound of a month with Jesse. I liked the sound of traveling to Mexico and driving through California wine country with Jesse. And I especially liked the sound of celebrating my independence from Richard in a night that would be just for Jesse and me, a night that would be the start of many, many nights together.

“Yes,” I whispered finally.

“Yes?” he asked, and then I could see his grin in the moonlight. He stood up and pulled me up with him, and then he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up, twirling the two of us around a few times. Then he pressed his lips to mine, and I knew for sure that I had found the love of my life. I knew now that Fate had indeed stepped in, and this time I wasn’t going to fuck it up. I was going to be with the man with whom I was meant to be.

Our two weeks of spring break passed in the blink of an eye, and we were so contentedly happy being off the grid that we decided to stay through Sunday, cutting it close since we had to get back to work on Monday.

Our days mostly consisted of lazy sleeping in, taking a walk or a run on the beach, and strolling along Santa Monica Pier. Jesse held my hand, kissed me, and loved me, even though he still wasn’t ready to say the words.

Our nights consisted of dinner with his parents, and Jesse even set up a bonfire on the beach a few times. We sat by the fire, talking softly about our pasts and the dreams we had for the future. I never felt closer to another person than I did to Jesse, and I couldn’t get over the fact that we shared so much intimacy without
having sex.

Jesse treated me to a few date nights, and I felt more and more like he was my boyfriend. Each day that passed caused my heart to open more to him, and I knew that he felt as close to me as I felt to him based on the intimate confessions he’d made to me.

And because of our amazing spring break together, nothing could’ve prepared me for the shit storm that faced us when we returned home.

And I mean
nothing
.

CHAPTER 14

I had been at the beach. I’d called my parents to let them know I had forgotten my cell phone charger and gave them the Drake’s home number for emergencies.

Jesse and I went off the grid for a few days.

What a hell of a few days to go off the grid.

We arrived home Sunday night, and on the surface, everything was fine. We both plugged in our phones immediately and then headed back out to the car to unload. We took our time, unpacked our luggage, and started some laundry. I felt lighthearted and happy as I watched my clothes mix with his in the washing machine. It was one of those simple, everyday chores that had suddenly become special because we were doing it together.

I felt closer to Jesse than I ever had. I felt like a part of his family. His parents made me feel like another daughter, not in the sense that I could ever replace their Allison, but in the sense that they loved me because they saw how happy I made their son. I even sat with Judy one night and told her all about Richard. She held my hand in hers and patted my arm as I spoke. She sympathized with me and hugged me and brushed my tears away when I told her how unsupportive my own mother had been when I’d told her that I was getting
divorced. She understood my situation and could clearly see that I was meant to be with her son. In fact, she’d said to me, “I’ve never seen Jesse with a woman, but I know love when I see it, and I know that my boy loves you. I don’t know if he’s told you that. He’s had a hard time getting close to people since what happened with Allie. But I see the way he looks at you, and I couldn’t be happier that he’s found someone as special as you.”

Tears spilled from my eyes as she hugged me, and I suddenly had the inclination that someday I’d be part of her family. Someday I’d pass the sweet potatoes over the Thanksgiving turkey and someday she’d hold our child, her grandchild, in her arms.

So everything was perfect until we arrived home. Well, really, until our phones were charged. It wasn’t until I turned on my phone that I started to freak out.

Apparently Jesse had turned his phone on at the exact same time, because when he appeared in the doorway to the guest room that we’d been sharing since… well, since the first night he’d stayed the night with me, his face was pale.

I had seventy-four new texts. Most were from Quinn, and after reading through the first few, I knew that I had not only missed something major, but we had a major problem.

“Are you seeing this?” Jesse whispered.

I nodded, staring at my phone.

I pulled open my work email, and that was when my fears were confirmed. I couldn’t log on. My account was frozen.

I logged into my personal email account, and there it was: an email from our campus union representative.

Veronica:

I have tried to reach you by phone and am hoping this email will reach you. If you haven’t seen the news, you and Jesse Drake are both being put on leave during this investigation. The leave shouldn’t last more than a week, but contact the union attorney ASAP.

Dave

Jesse and I had both been put on administrative leave? For what?

“Jesse, I have an email from Dave,” I said.

“So do I.” He took a few seconds to read it.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but Bill texted me a link to a news report.”

I stood close to him and we watched as his phone loaded the video.

The news anchor from our local news started reporting the story. “Breaking news out of local high school Central Valley, where a teacher and a counselor are being accused of having an illicit affair on school grounds. CBS five takes you to the scene. Nancy?”

The shot zoomed to a still of our school’s marquee out front and then showed a few panoramic photos of the campus.

“Thanks, Deb. No one expected this story out of this quiet high school where the football team won the state title this past fall, but sources say that accused English teacher Veronica Thomas and long time counselor Jesse Drake have been partaking in an affair on school property during school hours.”

Nancy cut away to a taped interview of one of our senior students on the prom committee. “Yeah, Mrs. Thomas and Mr. Drake have been working on prom
together. I had no idea that this was going on, but I did notice that they were together a lot.”

Nancy’s voice came back as a picture of Jesse and me came on the screen, and she spoke as I stared
at the picture. It was from a walk we had taken several weeks before at the park in Jesse’s neighborhood. He was sitting on a swing, and I was straddling him. We were kissing, clearly wrapped in a hot embrace. It was dark and grainy, but it was definitely us.

I suddenly felt completely violated
and totally nauseated as I listened to Nancy’s words. “Together a lot or not, I think we can all agree that having relations on a campus filled with high school students is definitely not okay. Reporting live from Central Valley High School, I’m Nancy Irvine.”

Jesse tossed the phone on my dresser
as if it was hot to the touch and burned his skin. “Fuck,” he muttered.

“Jesse, we
are not having an affair on school property!” I cried.

He gave me a strange look. “
Believe me, if we were fucking, I’d know.”

I wasn’t sure why that was the thing that came out of my mouth. It seemed pretty dumb as soon as I said it, but I had to say something.

Jesse took a deep breath as I grew more and more hysterical.

And then the thought crossed my mind that if I was going to be accused of sleeping with Jesse, I might as well have been doing it. Lord knows I sure as hell wanted to.

“What are we going to do?” I asked, tears prickling behind my eyes. Jesse came to me and took me in his arms.

He rubbed my back in soothing strokes, somehow calming me and assuring me that we were going to face this crisis together without
saying any words. Even though I was having a complete meltdown, just the feel of his arms around me soothed me immensely. “Bill texted me the number of the union lawyer. I’m going to call him to see what he recommends.”

I nodded, and Jesse picked his ph
one back up, still holding onto me.

“Hi Mr. Buchanan, it’s Jesse Drake. Bill
Robinson gave me your information.”

I wanted to hear the entire conversation, but I could only hear Jesse’s side. As if he read my mind, he said, “
Yes, she’s here. Do you mind if I put you on speaker?”

Mr. Buchanan must’ve agreed, because Jesse pulled the phone from his ear and clicked the speaker button while still managing to keep one arm around my waist, clutching me to him.

It was almost as if we both knew that this was almost the end, and we were clinging to one another as if our lives depended on it.

I heard the lawyer’s voice come through the phone. “First question: Are you both there?”

“Yes,” we responded in unison.

“Are the two of you having an affair?”

Jesse’s eyes locked on mine. “Not a sexual one.”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

“Then no,” he said.

“Veronica?”

“No, Mr. Buchanan.”

“Please call me
John. So you’re going to deny the allegations that you’ve had sexual relations on school property?”

“Yes,” we both said in unison.

“Well, at least you’ve got a united front.”

“
John, we haven’t done anything wrong,” Jesse said. “And we especially haven’t done anything wrong at school.”

All I could do was listen as the two of them spoke. I didn’t even know what to say. I could
not believe that we were being accused of something so outrageously scandalous, and I still wanted to know where the hell the news had managed to get that photograph of the two of us on the swing in the park.

“Are you engaged in any type of relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Be more specific.”

“We are currently living together.”

“And not having sex? No one’s going to buy that.”

“Veronica is married.”

“Jesus. Gets better and better.”

And that’s when I put it together. Of course. Richard.

Somehow Richard had gotten his hands on that picture of the two of us. He said he’d find a way to ruin us both, and this was his way of doing it.

“For now, I need you two to completely separate,” John said. “I can’t have you living together. I can’t have you being together. I can’t have you even looking at each other.”

No. Mother. Fucking. Way.

There was no way I was going to agree to that.

I felt tears fill my eyes at just the mere thought of being away from Jesse.

“No,” Jesse said adamantly. “No, we won’t do that. We didn’t have sex at school. Check the videos. There are cameras outside the counseling office and outside Veronica’s classroom. There’s your proof. These allegations are fucking ludicrous and I’m not going to give up the love of my life because someone’s trying to fuck with us.”

The love of my life.

Jesse had just called me the love of his life.

He used the word “love” to refer to me.

Despite the hell we suddenly found ourselves in, my heart skipped a beat at that word dropping from those lips.

“
These are serious allegations against you that could cost both of you your careers. I need to set up a meeting with each of you, but for now, one of you has to move out. No contact with one another.”

“Starting when?”

“You’ve got tonight.”

We wrapped up the call. Jesse set his appointment for the next morning, and I set mine for the next afternoon. Jesse tossed his phone when he ended the call, and it ended up on the floor somewhere. He wrapped his arms around me as I cried desperately into him.

John was right.

We didn’t have a choice.

And we both knew that as a truth as we clung to one another, not sure how long this separation was going to last, dreading it even though we both knew that there was nothing we could do about it for now.

We had one more night together, and then in the morning, we’d have to go our separate ways.

I sobbed into his chest, my ugly cry back with a vengeance, and Jesse soothed me by rubbing his hands in a slow rhythm up and down my back, touching me like he was trying to memorize what I felt like beneath his fingertips.

“Let’s not waste tonight with tears,” he said quietly, his voice breaking with emotion that
only caused my pain to sharpen as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I sniffled as I nodded into him, knowing he was right.

Maroon 5’s song “Daylight” started playing on repeat in my head, especially the refrain: “And when the daylight comes, I’ll have to go, but tonight I’m gonna hold you so close, cause in the daylight we’ll be on our own…”

I didn’t want to be on my own. I’d come to rely on Jesse for his protection, his care, and his love in the short time we’d been together. We truly enjoyed spending time together. With us, there was no drama, no competition. Just hardcore attraction and strong feelings that only deepened the more time we spent together.

He kissed my forehead and then kissed my cheeks where my tears still fell. His lips found mine and he kissed me softly, and then he leaned his forehead to mine.

“We’ll figure this out, V. Crying is letting them win.”

He was right, of course, and I knew that. I didn’t want Richard to win, and I was certain that it was him. I wouldn’t let him win.

“Where am I going to go?” I asked on a shaky breath.

“Stay with Quinn until we get it worked out.”

“Okay,” I agreed glumly.

He hugged me hard and then went to the kitchen to get us each some water while I called Quinn.

I sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my forehead, trying to get rid of the headache that was already forming as I pulled up her contact.

She answered immediately. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“We went off the grid for a few days.”

“Are you fucking Jesse? At work?”

“No. And no.”

“Jesus, Veronica. There’s this huge investigation. HR called me in to talk to me about what I know.”

“What did you say?” I asked, suddenly alarmed.

“I told them what I knew. I said that you were staying with him, but as far as I knew, the two of you have been living as friends since you’re still married.”

“Thanks, Quinn.”

“Don’t thank me for telling the truth.”

“Can I stay with you?”

“Of course. When are you coming over?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Are you going to work?”

“I can’t. I’m suspended.”

“Paid vacation,” she said, always looking at the bright side.

“Ruined reputation,” I countered. Usually I wasn’t one for cynicism, but this was a pretty dark situation I’d suddenly found myself in.