Separated @ Birth: A True Love Story of Twin Sisters Reunited (25 page)

let things fall as they may

Our finding each other has changed not only our lives but the lives of everybody in our families. Each set of our parents has themselves a new “daughter”; each daughter has a new set of “parents.” We asked our parents to put their thoughts on paper. We were so heartened to see what they wrote that we wanted to share their words here, followed by thoughts of our own:

JACQUES BORDIER

I was very cautious when I first heard about Sam as Anaïs’s possible twin sister. Anaïs was, naturally, so moved by the event, and I knew her so well that, as a father, I wanted to avoid any terrible disappointment that would send her low in her spirits.

I, myself, as an “ordinary Caucasian” citizen, had been tempted to find similarities between Asian faces (the
they all look alike
syndrome), although I knew I would be able to recognize my
daughter, even if she had been circled by a billion Korean and other Asian faces. Several times I had encountered young Asian ladies who I thought bore some traits resembling Anaïs’s. When Anaïs was about eight years old, I vividly remember seeing an Asian young lady, probably from Korean origin, who was about eighteen or twenty years old. I thought that was exactly how Anaïs would look when she turned twenty. It was a real shock to me, like seeing a film, a projection of the same person, ahead in time. So impressed was I that I still remember that moment.

There was an actress in a Korean film I had just watched, too, “looking like Anaïs,” but obviously with no possible family ties. Therefore, when we learned about Sam, I wasn’t prepared to admit that she would be Anaïs’s sister. I was skeptical myself, and I wanted to “cool down” Anaïs’s spirits.

After all, chances were thin. There is a saying in Korean for when things are impossible, “It’s like finding Mr. Kim in Seoul,” knowing that one-fifth of the Korean population bears the family name “Kim.” So, how difficult it would be to find the “Kim sisters”—Kim is Anaïs’s Korean family name—scattered about the entire world, one in France, one in the USA, if the Koreans themselves could not find “Mr. Kim” in Seoul?

Funny enough, when Anaïs provided Google evidence of Sam’s and Anaïs’s obvious similarities, like being born in Busan on November 19, etc., etc., the first website I checked on showed
Samantha Futerman being born on November 1. I stopped checking on Google and immediately reported to Anaïs that Sam could not be her sister . . . usual father shortcuts . . .

Of course, Anaïs encouraged me to carry on my investigations . . . and I was really taken aback when I watched “How It Feels to Be Adopted . . . I Am Sam,” Sam’s short video. I watched it over and over again, and this time, I indeed really thought Anaïs had good reason to feel what she was feeling, although rationally I could not accept the idea, as:

a) Patricia and I felt so confident about the Korean Association, which had taken care of Anaïs after she was born, and we trusted what they had told us about the situation with Anaïs’s biological mother (a totally different story than we heard about Sam’s).

b) we were asked whether we would accept twins, and we, of course, had answered yes, so why would twin sisters have been separated?

c) the chances of having two babies born from the same womb, scattered over the world, then finding each other were so slim, we would have had more chance to become millionaires in the European lottery games, as a statistical expert would have showed us rationally.

But this was no time for rationality. Still, my sixty-two-year-old rational mind was not ready to accept that kind of evidence. Time passed, and every week was bringing new facts, showing
against all odds there was more to it than just resemblance.

Anaïs was so excited, but I wanted her to concentrate on her final exams and the fashion show she had to prepare. I was not pleased to learn funds were already being raised to create a documentary when no one even knew if the girls were twins. I had never heard of Kickstarter before, and did not know how it worked. Of course, we subscribed, like Sam’s parents did and a lot of friends, as well as so many unknown, generous persons, moved by the story, which had started to spread all over the world in newspapers, magazines, blogs.

We were very happy when we learned Sam would be coming over to London in May with her family, and we all could meet. So much happy news!! How could it be possible? But my own rational mind was also feeling a little bit of guilt: What about if Sam and Anaïs were not twin sisters? I was so eager to have DNA tests performed so my rational mind would be at peace. If not, I felt we would have cheated those generous persons, and that was contrary to my personal and family ethics. And a few weeks later, there we were all in London. It wasn’t the perfect spring season, but who cared. I shall remember this until my last moment.

I did not watch Sam and Anaïs reuniting, as my wife, Patricia, did—I was at work most of the day—but I received an SMS from my wife on my
mobile phone that said, “No doubt, we now have two daughters.”

At our hotel that evening, I was having dinner with my wife. Anaïs was showing Sam her
université
grounds, and Patricia and I contemplated having a quiet evening together, as we were planning to meet Sam, her parents, and brothers the next day for a tour of London. Then, all of a sudden, there was a mobile phone message from Anaïs saying they were going to “drop by” for a few minutes on their way home from school. I did not have time to prepare for our encounter—hardly a few minutes later, here Sam was, standing in front of us, a lovely, smiling, already familiar face, with Anaïs bearing her sister “accomplice” smile.

When I held Sam in my arms to greet her, my heart fainted and all my rational prejudices faded away instantly: I did not need a DNA test anymore to know the extraordinary had happened. The two separated sisters were reunited again! The following day we met Sam’s family and visited London. It was amazing how we instantly got on well with them, so that was an additional joy for us.

PATRICIA BORDIER

When Anaïs told me about an American actress who was looking very similar to her and born on the same day in the same Korean town, I immediately thought she could be her twin. . . .
Soon, Jacques and I were watching on YouTube the video by Samantha called “How It Feels to Be Adopted . . . I Am Sam.” I thought at the moment that the girl speaking English with an American accent was Anaïs. I watched it three times nonstop. I was amazed, the same smile, same way of speaking, same gestures . . . same everything. At that particular moment, I was sure they were twins!

In London, I was with Anaïs when she physically met Sam for the first time. Anaïs entered the flat and went to Sam. I stayed at the entrance. The two girls were looking at each other, laughing, touching their fronts, their cheeks, their lips, their fingers . . . and I was seeing “two Anaïses.” When I took Sam in my arms, I felt like I was taking in my arms a second daughter. Immediately, I felt good! I sent a message to my husband: “We now have two daughters.”

At night, the results of the DNA test were supposed to be given by a doctor from L.A. via Skype. I was sure that the result would be positive. I did not want to think what disappointment it would be for Anaïs, and certainly for Sam, if they were not twins . . . and, of course, it was positive!

The next day we met Sam’s parents and her two brothers, and immediately we felt like a family. We share a lot of similar feelings, and the main one is the joy to see the two girls so happy together.

JUDD FUTERMAN

On February 21, 2013, Samantha texted me and said, “Dad, twin?” After talking with her, I learned that she had been contacted by a young lady who had been born in Busan, Korea, on November 19, 1987—the same date and location of Samantha’s birth. Samantha had not yet spoken to this young lady, but she had seen her picture and said to me, “Dad, twin?”

As I spoke to my daughter, I got a chill through my body. Could this be? Could my beautiful twenty-five-year-old daughter truly have a twin somewhere in the world? WOW, could that be?

As the days progressed, Samantha began to receive pictures from Anaïs (her twin?). To me, it was obvious that my baby had a twin, and that she lived in England. WOW, what could I say? Finally someone of the same blood as Samantha, WOW.

Everyone said, “Be careful” until the DNA is completed. “Don’t get your hopes up.” But not me. I knew that this beautiful young lady in England was Samantha’s twin (and my other daughter).

Samantha arranged a trip for us to go to London, England, to meet Anaïs and her parents. I couldn’t wait to meet my new daughter and her mom and dad. How exciting this was going to be for all of us, but mostly for Samantha and Anaïs.

Upon our arrival in London, we took the train to one block from our hotel. It was eleven thirty p.m., and we were tired. As we approached the
hotel, much to my surprise, Samantha came running out and hugged Jackie, Matt, and myself. Then, Samantha came out of the hotel. I looked twice and realized that this beautiful, lovely girl who had hugged me first was Anaïs and not Samantha. WOW.

In the days that followed our first meeting, I quickly learned to love my other daughter with such love that no one could imagine. My daughters are beautiful, smart, lovely, charming, funny, and the most that any father could ever hope for.

The day after our arrival in London, we met two of the loveliest people on earth, Patricia and Jacques Bordier, Anaïs’s other parents—although I guess that Jackie and I are her other parents, while Patricia and Jacques are her real parents—two lovely, warm, charming, and wonderful people. To this day, I know that GOD came down upon me and provided these three wonderful people to allow Samantha and all of my family to enjoy utter happiness.

JACKIE FUTERMAN

I know it was silly, but I felt rather responsible for Anaïs before we met her. I worried that she’d had a good childhood, that I would like her parents. Not “like” as people, but “like” as in the type of parents they had been (like I was supermom or something!!). I think Patricia said something similar about us. Because Judd and I had agreed to take twins if they “came up,” I rather felt as if Anaïs was mine in some odd way.

Spending those first days with Anaïs and Sam, I felt as if I had always known her, because her laugh, body language, sense of humor, and voice were so much like Sam’s. I liked her immediately and loved her very quickly, because it was like just extending what I felt for Sam over to Anaïs. However, once we got home from London, I started to feel as if I hadn’t really met the true Anaïs, because the girls were always together, there was a crowd of people, and we had no alone time. So I wondered if I hadn’t just transferred Sam over to Anaïs.

When she came to New York, Judd and I got to spend time with her alone. We got to talk to her and hear her opinions, etc. I think I have a better feel for the differences between the two girls now, as well as the similarities. Their uniqueness is coming out more.

As for Jacques and Patricia, the more we interact, the more I like them. We parents are in a strange, maybe even odd position. There’s no term for us, such as “in-laws.” There’s no term for our daughter’s sister as she relates to us. Jacques and Patricia are not just new friends. They are very important people in the life of my daughter’s sister. This sister has become a very important person in my daughter’s life. By extension, we have all become very important to each other. I know all four of us parents have a sense of responsibility toward the other daughter and to each of us. Thank heavens for the Internet. It not only brought us all together, it
keeps
us together.

SAM

I could have had a mental breakdown when I found out about Anaïs. I could have gone into a deep depression about the meaning of life, how cruel it was for a mother to separate her twin girls, with, I’m assuming, the hope that what she had done would never be found out. But what would be the point? When I least expected it, I have found someone to be happy with for the rest of my life. I have been given a gift, and I choose to see the good. I will take it and transform it into something useful.

I see so many adopted children and teenagers in the world who are sad and question their adoption, focusing on the negative. They can’t get away from the feeling of being abandoned, that they weren’t wanted. Yet, without that birth, who knows if they’d even be on this earth? Who knows if they would have been able to give their parents and families and friends the happiness they feel when they are around?

I can’t imagine what life would have been for Anaïs and me if we hadn’t been separated. Would we have grown up in Korea together? Would we have hated each other because people would have lumped us into one identity . . . “them” . . . “the twins” . . . “the girls”? Would we have been able to be fashion designers and actresses? Would we love croissants and cheese? But most importantly, would Patricia and Jacques have had a daughter to love and care for the rest of their lives?

I can’t imagine Patricia and Jacques without
Anaïs. She is their pride and joy. You can just tell. She gives them the meaning of life. I hope that one day I have children of my own, biological and adopted. I want to continue life and teach them all the good things in the world. I want to take them everywhere and watch them play sports and do the school plays and teach them to ski. And what would my parents have without me?! Nothing, nor me without them.

My parents are amazing. I don’t know anyone else who would take the time to drive everyone back and forth to a billion different restaurants, shows, sites, and airports throughout the New York area over Thanksgiving. There were so many people to accommodate, and yet they did it selflessly. How much they do is really insane, but they taught me to do everything you can for the people you love. It was something that was never verbally explained to me, but shown through their actions.

I hope I will be as caring for my family and friends as they have been for theirs. I always miss my mom the moment I’m not with her. She annoys me like nobody else, but I love her like nobody else. She taught me how to treat people and how to make chicken cutlets. My mom, my superhero, does it all.