Sentence of Marriage (29 page)

‘All right, Pa.’ Although she knew it was irrational, Amy felt a reluctance to go on to Charlie Stewart’s farm. She said nothing of it to her father. Lizzie was right: Charlie was just a grumpy old man, and there was no reason to be frightened of him.

But when she carried down the afternoon tea things Amy felt annoyance rather than fear. It really was a long way to struggle with her heavy baskets, and every time she climbed a fence it meant putting them down, scrambling over, then hauling the baskets after her.

She was hot and flustered by the time she reached the hay paddock where the men had just started building a small stack, but she felt better when Jimmy greeted her with a warm smile. He was the first to reach her, and Amy knew it was not just eagerness for the food.

‘You look worn out, sweetheart,’ he said, too quietly for the other men to hear as they approached. ‘You sit down and I’ll set these things out.’

‘No, you mustn’t—it’s my job. Anyway, they’ll all laugh if they see you doing that,’ Amy protested. But Jimmy insisted on helping her, and to her surprise Frank helped too when he came up to them.

Charlie took his food in silence and went a short distance away from the others. When Jack walked over to Amy she saw him frown at his neighbour. ‘Bad tempered so-and-so,’ Jack muttered as he loaded his plate. ‘Amy, when you go home again you’d better go around by the road.’

Amy’s heart sank. ‘But that’s quite a bit further, Pa, especially with all these baskets. Why do I have to do that?’

‘Because Charlie says he doesn’t want you wandering around his farm—he says you’ll frighten the cows in that paddock by the fence because they’re not used to skirts.’ He scowled in Charlie’s direction. ‘Load of rubbish, but it’s his farm so he can say who comes and goes on it. Flaming cheek—I notice he’s happy enough to eat the stuff you brought.’ Charlie was, indeed, tucking greedily into a slice of mutton pie.

‘Oh. All right.’ Amy resigned herself to the unpleasant trek. She glanced at Jimmy, and was startled to see anger on his face, but he spoke very calmly.

‘I think that’s a bit far for Amy to carry all these things. There’s not that much hay to pick up here, how about I take them for her? It won’t take me long to get there and back.’

‘That’s a kind thought. Yes, you take the girl home—there’s no need for you to come back afterwards, but you can start getting the cows in if you want.’

So when they had all finished eating, Jimmy gathered up Amy’s baskets and they set off down the road.

‘That was nice of you, Jimmy,’ Amy said as soon as they were out of earshot.

‘I can’t have my little sweetheart wearing herself out like that, can I? I wish I’d thought about you bringing all this down in the first place—I should have carried it for you then.’ Jimmy glanced over his shoulder. ‘No chance of a kiss, I’m afraid—we’re still well in sight of the workers.’

‘It’s nice just to be with you,’ Amy said. ‘You must be getting sick of the sight of hay by now. Stacking’s hard work, isn’t it?’

Jimmy grinned at her. ‘Not as hard as entertaining Susannah. Oh, I suppose I shouldn’t say that—I wouldn’t have come down here if it wasn’t for her, then I never would have met you. It’s no harder than trying to keep Mother happy.’

Amy felt a burst of gratitude towards her stepmother. Susannah might be difficult, but she had brought Jimmy to the farm, and that covered a multitude of faults.

‘What’s your other sister like?’ she asked.

‘Constance? I suppose she’s a lot like Susannah, really. She’s two years younger than her—five years older than me. They both used to boss me around when we were all young—it should be against the law for a boy to have older sisters!’ He laughed at the thought.

‘Constance is prettier than Susannah, though. Not that that makes her a beauty—nothing like you—but she’s always been rather fond of herself. She was a bit of a flirt when she was a girl, Mother was quite relieved when Henry proposed to her. Constance got married when she was nineteen, just after Henry qualified as a lawyer.’

‘What did Susannah think of that?’

‘Just what you’d expect. Constance didn’t help by going on and on about how nice it was to be getting married before she was in her twenties. And there was Susannah, twenty-one and never been asked. She didn’t mind so much when Henry was still struggling and Constance had to make do with two or three dresses, but when he started to get on… well, you can imagine.’

‘Yes, I think I can. Poor Susannah.’

Jimmy warmed to his subject. ‘Then you should have heard Constance when Susannah told her she was getting married—“Oh, darling, how wonderful. At your age, too—you’re so lucky to have found a
mature
man”. Susannah was so proud of herself, and all Constance could do was be patronising. Of course when Susannah was out of earshot Constance didn’t call him mature—he was Susannah’s old farmer. “At least the poor dear shouldn’t have to put up with him for too many years, he’s so old”—’

Jimmy stopped abruptly and looked at Amy. She felt her face burning. ‘Amy, I am an insensitive idiot and I deserve to be kicked, repeating that about your father. I’m sorry—can you forgive me?’

‘It’s all right,’ Amy said when she could trust herself to speak. It’s not as if you said it yourself. And Pa is an awful lot older than Susannah.’

‘Well, if it’s any consolation, I think your father’s the fittest man for his age I’ve ever met. He’ll probably live to be ninety.’

Amy was thoughtful for some time. ‘I’m glad you told me that, Jimmy,’ she said when they had turned off the valley road and were back on Jack’s farm. ‘It sort of helps me understand Susannah a bit better—why she gets difficult sometimes.’

‘She certainly gives you a hard time, doesn’t she? Sometimes when she snaps at you I feel like snapping back at her, but of course I can’t say a word. We don’t want her getting suspicious.’

‘Oh, Susannah hasn’t been difficult since you came—not like she was before, anyway. She used to go really strange, especially when the babies were coming. She’d cry all the time, then she’d yell and scream, at me mostly—she threw a plate at me once. And one time she even made Pa…’ she stopped, unwilling to relive that particular memory.

Jimmy looked at her in astonishment. ‘Really? I didn’t know she was in that bad a state. She used to be quite a lively sort of person—your father was taken with her as soon as he arrived at our place. Of course she
was
making an effort to impress him—it worked, too, didn’t it? Poor old girl.’ He gave a shrug. ‘Ah well, she got what she wanted. She’s no one but herself to blame if it’s not what she expected.’

‘I suppose not,’ Amy said doubtfully.

When they reached the farmhouse, Jimmy put down the baskets in the porch and looked around. ‘No sign of Susannah. What about slipping off for a minute?’

‘Well,’ Amy said, torn between duty and the desire to be with him, ‘I probably should start getting dinner on—and Pa said for you to get the cows in.’

‘Just for a minute. Come on.’ He took her hand and tugged. She went with him around the hill to where a small grove of trees sheltered them from prying eyes.

‘I can’t stay long,’ said Amy.

‘Neither can I. Let’s not waste time.’ He put his arms around her, and Amy raised her face willingly for a kiss. ‘I love you, Amy,’ he whispered as his mouth came down on hers.

‘I love you, too,’ she said when he released her mouth.

Jimmy stared at her with a yearning expression. ‘You are so beautiful.’ He kissed her again, more passionately this time, and Amy felt herself responding. She slid her arms around his waist and pressed her body hard against his.

She became aware that her breasts were rubbing against his chest and that the contact gave her pleasure. She wriggled a little, enjoying the feeling.
Is this wicked?
I wouldn’t let him touch me like this, and now I’m sort of doing it myself. But it’s just a cuddle—surely that can’t be too bad?

Jimmy gave a low moan. He lifted his mouth from hers and whispered her name raggedly. ‘Amy, Amy. I want you so much. I want to be with you forever. Amy!’ He kissed her almost roughly, and for a moment he held her so tight that Amy could hardly breathe. Then his grip slackened enough for him to slip a hand between their bodies. Amy found one of her breasts being very gently caressed.

For a moment she went rigid, then she relaxed into his arms. He was being so gentle, and he loved her. Maybe it was all right to do this? Even if it wasn’t, she didn’t want him to stop. She felt a stab of disappointment when he dropped his arms.

‘I’ve done it again, Amy.’ He gave her a rueful smile. ‘I’m not very good at controlling myself around you. Are you going to send me away? You can if you want—I’ll go if you say the word.’ His eyes pleaded with her for forgiveness.

‘No! I don’t want you to go—I don’t want you to ever go away.’ She flung her arms around him.

‘And you forgive me for doing that?’

Amy hid her face against his chest and nodded. ‘I don’t think it’s such a terrible thing to have done,’ she whispered. ‘Not bad enough for me to send you away for, anyway. But you shouldn’t do it again.’

‘I’ll try,’ he said. ‘I’ll try really hard.’

February 1884

When Amy got out of bed on the eighth of February, the first thing she did was put a cross through the ‘7’ on her calendar. She looked with satisfaction at the red-circled ‘8’: the day of the hay dance had arrived.

Despite all the activities of her day, the hours until dinner seemed to drag. Although the dance wasn’t to start till seven, Amy looked at the clock many times as she helped Susannah prepare and serve the evening meal, and she was too excited to do much more than toy with her food.

Lizzie and Bill arrived soon after dinner, Lizzie carrying her new dress wrapped in paper, and the girls went off into Amy’s room to help one another get ready. Amy pulled the silk gown from her wardrobe with a flourish.

‘What do you think of it?’ She had the pleasure of seeing Lizzie’s eyes grow wide in surprise.

‘That is just gorgeous,’ Lizzie breathed. ‘However did you talk Aunt Susannah into letting you have a dress like that?’

‘I didn’t talk her into anything—she decided it all, what material to use and how the dress was going to look. Susannah really does have good taste, you know.’

‘Mmm. No one could argue with that. Let’s get ready, those boys will start complaining if we take more than five minutes.’

They took a good deal longer than five minutes by the time they had put on their new dresses and then fussed over each other’s hair. Lizzie’s dress was of pale pink silk covered in tiny flowers of a deeper pink, with white cuffs and collar and a wide white sash. Her fair hair and pink cheeks completed the picture of a rosy girl just crossing into young womanhood.

‘Have you got anything for your hair that would go with the dress?’ Lizzie asked.

‘Yes!’ Amy pulled her beautiful blue velvet ribbon from its place in the drawer, and Lizzie tied it around Amy’s dark curls.

‘That’s just right,’ Lizzie said. ‘When did you get it?’

Amy was silent for a moment, then she decided to share the small secret. ‘Jimmy gave it to me.’

‘He’s giving you presents, is he? What does that mean?’

‘It means we’re friends. Don’t pry. Do you think my dress is sitting right over the hips?’

That distracted Lizzie. When Amy’s dress had been tweaked and puffed out to their mutual satisfaction, Lizzie stepped back and gave Amy a long, admiring gaze. ‘Turn around,’ she ordered. Amy twirled on the spot, making the silk rustle. The dress fitted like a dream. Amy thought that no princess could ever have had a more beautiful gown. ‘Well, everyone’s certainly going to be looking at you tonight,’ said Lizzie.

‘Not Frank, Lizzie. He’s only interested in you.’
And I’m only interested in Jimmy
.

‘It’s such a nuisance that his house is the other side of the school—I’d like him to walk me home. Fancy having to walk home with my brother.’ Lizzie gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘Ah well, I’ll just have to make the most of the time while we’re at the dance.’

‘I hope you’re not going to make a spectacle of yourself, Lizzie.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean? We’ll have more chance to talk than we usually get, that’s all. Do you think I’d let him kiss me in front of everyone?’

‘That’s all right, then.’ Amy gave a small giggle. ‘Just don’t get Frank too excited.’

‘Maybe I want him to get just a little bit excited,’ Lizzie said thoughtfully. ‘I don’t know why I’m talking about it with you, though, you’re much too young to understand.’

‘Oh, am I just?’ Amy retorted. ‘Maybe you don’t know everything, Elizabeth Leith.’ She regretted her small outburst at once.

Lizzie looked at her through narrowed eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Nothing. It was just a joke—I was sick of you showing off, that’s all.’

‘You sounded pretty serious to me. What’s going on, Amy? Have you got an understanding with Jimmy? You might have told me.’ She sounded hurt.

‘There’s nothing to tell. We’re friends, I’ve already told you that.’