Senseless Attraction (10 page)

      I snorted, rolled my eyes, and opened the book in front of me. As I was trying to come across as calm on the outside, on the inside my stomach and heart played havoc.

      They were having a break? What did that mean exactly?

      “Sorry,” I uttered.

      “Honestly, I thought I’d be upset by those words. I mean, the ones where she said that things weren't working between us and that we should go our separate ways…for now. But they didn't; if anything, I felt relieved. Is that bad? I know I care for her; we've been together for what seems like forever. Still, now it's...” He looked up from his own book and blushed, then scoffed. “Listen to me. You’re the last person who’d want to hear any of that stuff.”

      I turned away from his stare and mumbled, “I don't mind; I like the fact that you want to talk to me about things that are troubling you.”

      “But no advice though?”

      I looked at him as he smirked.

      “Sorry, I am totally the wrong girl for that crap. Josh was the longest relationship I've ever had, and look how that turned out. Besides, I don't think I should give you advice about a person I don't know, or like for that matter.”

      He barked out with laughter. “Point taken.”

      I could hear Momma and Dommy's footsteps coming back from down the hall, so I turned my attention back to the book in front of me.

     “All right, we are ready. Look, sweetheart, I found your old colouring books Dommy can use, and your pencils and crayons.” She laid the things on the table at the opposite end from us. Dommy was enthralled by what they’d found and sat down without a word to start looking through the colouring books. “I'll just get your dinners and then I'll be off.”

      “Momma, I can get them if you wanted to leave early to get one of those coffees you like.”

      “Someone hold me before I fall. Was that really my daughter being thoughtful?”

      I rolled my eyes. I was always thoughtful; well, with Momma I was. Okay, I tried to be.

      “Thank you for the thought, baby, but that’s okay.”

      She busied herself with dinner, while Kane and I began finalising our written reports. Then we'd move on to the verbal presentation. We decided to collaborate all the information left out of our written one into a big cardboard sheet, instead of having hand cards to go off. I loved the thought because it gave me the chance to use one of those pointy stick things the teachers used to bang on their desk to get your attention and scare the crap out of you.

      I'd say that by the end of the night we'd have it done, so that meant things between Kane and myself would soon come to an end.

      Why did that leave me with a feeling of emptiness inside?

      While Momma ran off to refresh her makeup, and Dommy had followed to watch, I tapped Kane on the arm to get his attention. Once he looked up smiling, I asked, “So, I guess if we get all this finished tonight, I won't have to suffer through more of your company and come to your house on Saturday?”

      His smile faded. “I think you may be right; we should have this done by tonight, and I'd hate to think of you suffering in my company.” He went back to work.

      Damn me and my big sarcastic mouth.

      “Kaddy, I thought you were going to ask Sky to that thing at our house Saturday night,” Dommy said, coming to sit back at the table smiling sweetly.

      I turned back to Kane; he didn't look too impressed by Dommy confessing something they had obviously talked about.

      “I don't think Skylar would really be interested. It's not her scene. And I'm thinking that she'll be relieved to get this assignment done with so she doesn't have to spend any more time with me.” His raised his eyebrows at me, as if to say
take that
.

      Dommy gasped. “Is that true, Sky? You don’t like my brother?” She really sounded upset by the thought that I could have any ill feelings for Kane.

      “No, it's not that. I was only joking before. I like your brother, and being around him gives me a chance to see you, and I wouldn't want it any other way.”

      I thought that would have felt like a lie, but I was surprised that I meant it. I liked spending time with Kane, and I really liked seeing Dommy.

      “Yay, great, so you'll come Saturday night?”

      “Um.” I looked to Kane for any kind of help, but he didn't say anything, and just sat there smiling smugly. So I asked., “What is this thing Saturday night?”

      “Just a dinner and dance thing my parents are hosting. It's going to be really boring.”

      “But you'll come, yeah?” Dommy asked.

      “Uh—I really...is it formal?” They both nodded. Great, I'd have to wear something ordinary. Was I actually thinking about going? “Yeah, I guess.” I sighed. “But what about Donna; won't she be going?”

      “We're on a break, remember?”

      “Right—so, you just need a fill in. I can do that. I think.” That meant it wasn’t a date. Kane just needed someone there to hang off his arm. That made me feel a little better. Besides, it wasn't actually him who asked; I was doing this for Dommy. Right?

      “My, my, Skylar James, you actually look scared,” my Momma piped in from the doorway. “Don't worry, Kane and Dommy, I will have her there on time and looking wonderful. And you can forget that God-awful makeup. Can't have you scaring off the wealthy.”

      Kane and Dommy laughed. I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

      What was I getting myself into?

T
he rest of the week flew by; it always did when you really weren't looking forward to something on the weekend. By Friday, I was ready to chew off my own arm, or knock myself out, just so I had an excuse not to attend Kane’s posh affair. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to injure myself, which was why I was standing in my room late Saturday afternoon, looking at myself in my mirror and not believing what I saw. Momma and Jessie stood beside me telling me how fantastic I looked. I laughed when Jessie added at the end, “Even if it isn't Goth-looking.”

      Of course, I'd rang Jessie Monday night after Dommy and Kane had left. And that was after dinner, finishing our assignment, and watching one of Dommy's movies that she had brought with her called
Tangled
. It was a take-off of Rapunzel. I found myself actually liking it; I loved the horse Maximus.

      Once I told Jessie where I was headed Saturday night, I had to hold the phone away as she squealed her lungs out. This ended up causing Jessie’s mom to yell at her to get off the phone. So Jessie ended the conversation with, “Oh, my God, tell me everything tomorrow, and I mean
everything
that was said. Oh, babe, your first date with a rich guy.” I told her it wasn't a date and that I was a ‘fill in’, but she didn’t seem to hear that.

     
Kane didn’t show up for school on Tuesday either. He was there for the rest of the week, only he didn’t ride the bus. I heard he caught a lift from a friend. Was that because he didn’t want to see Donna on the bus?

      Or me? Maybe.

      I was told by Jessie and Mitch that he didn’t sit next to her in the other classes they had together, and at lunch, I witnessed he spent most of the time talking to his football friends. This gave Donna time, without Kane noticing, to shoot me daggers. I kind of understood that she blamed me for their break; it was because of me that Kane got into the fight in the first place.

      Javis had been walking past him Wednesday morning when he overheard some of the other guys asking him what had happened to get bruised up like he had. Kane had laughed it off and told them he was saving a damsel in distress, which didn’t go down well for Donna, thus why the break in their relationship. I’d been thinking that Donna hadn’t told any of her friends who that said damsel was because none of them had given me crap. She was probably embarrassed about the fact that it was me—some lame Goth girl.

      I needed to have a word with Kane about the damsel stuff. I was not, and never would be, a damsel. He knew this, and
I
knew that he knew that I knew—if that made sense—why had he made the whole damn damsel story up in the first place? It was obvious he didn’t want anyone to know who he had saved. He’d receive too much hell from his mates because it had been me—the loser freak.

      Kane and I didn’t have the chance to talk during the rest of the week; of course neither of us would approach each other during school hours, and I knew he was busy afterwards with football and whatever other jock sport he played.

      Another reason why I was regretting accepting the invitation—not because he played sports after school, but because we hadn’t spoken—so I was unsure if he still wanted me to be there.

     
This isn’t me
, I thought as I looked at myself for the last time. My hair was all pinned up with a few strands floating down around my face. I had on a long elegant black, backless dress—thanking God for once that my boobs weren’t that big, so I didn’t have to wear any of that clear tape that held boobs up.

      My Momma actually went out and bought the dress for me. Yet another reason I couldn’t back out, because it must have cost a bit, and when I had told her I didn’t need it, she refused to take it back. Of course, then she bought me strappy black high heels to go with it. I told her it was too much just for one night, but she laughed and told me not to worry, that I’d be wearing it to my graduation party, my wedding, the birth of my first child and her funeral. I rolled my eyes, but gave her a big hug and kiss and thanked her. It was really pretty—something that I wouldn’t have ever bought—meaning it was perfect for tonight.

      Jessie bounced up and down beside the car. Momma was going to work late so she could drive me there…another thing to appreciate my Momma for. I found myself thinking that I didn’t tell her enough, or that I didn’t show her. I needed to change that.

      “Oh, oh please don’t forget to call me when you get home. Don’t worry about my mom. I’ll have the phone beside me so I’ll pick it up straight away and she won’t even hear it,” Jesse said.

      “But will you?” I knew Jessie could sleep through a chainsaw going off.

      “Of course. Just call me or I will hurt you.”

      “Now that you have threatened my daughter, we must be off, Jessie. Are you sure you don’t want a lift home?” Momma asked, leaning over me to do so.

      “Thanks, Mrs J, but I’ll be all right. Mitch should be here soon to pick me up.”

      “Now that is something you need to tell me about,” I hissed and pointed in her face.

      “There’s nothing much to tell; it’s not like we’re going out or anything. We’re takin’ it slow—”

      “What the hell for? It’s not like you don’t know each other already.”

      “Come on, girls. You’ve had all week to talk about this, but
now
we have to go or she’ll be late and then turn into a pumpkin if she leaves past midnight tonight,” Momma said.

      Jessie laughed. I smiled and went to wipe my sweaty, shaking hands on my dress. Until Momma smacked my hand and passed me a handtowel that she'd had hanging over her shoulder. I thought she’d just forgotten it was there, but she must have known I’d need it.

      “Have fun, Princess, and talk to ya later.” Jessie winked and then waved once we started to drive off.

* * * * *

“Now don’t worry, Skylar. You walk in there with your head held high, like you belong. Remember, you are there for Kane and Dommy; they need and want you there and that’s all that matters. And please make sure you have fun. I’ll see you in the morning, sweetheart. Love you, baby.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek, leaned over me to open the door, and shoved me out. She didn’t want to drive me up to the house because of the way our car looked; it was only a little run-down with a bit of rust. But when I really looked at all the cars driving up the long driveway, I understood—most of them were limousines.

      Everything in me was saying to run, get back home, that I didn’t need to do this.