Sense of Wonder: A Century of Science Fiction (307 page)

He looked down at the dusty fountain on which his father sat. “That ghost-dream haunts this graveyard. I want to give them living dreams that they can make come true.”

Conn’s father sat in silence for a while, his cigar smoke red in the sunset. “If you can do all that, Conn.… You know, I believe you can. I’m with you, as far as I can help, and we’ll have a talk with Charley. He’s a good boy, Conn, and he has a lot of influence among the other youngsters.” He looked at his watch. “We’d better be getting along. You don’t want to be late for your own coming-home party.”

Rodney Maxwell slid off the edge of the fountain to his feet, hitching at the gunbelt under his coat. Have to dig out his own gun and start wearing it, Conn thought. A man simply didn’t go around in public without a gun in Litchfield. It wasn’t decent. And he’d be spending a lot of time out in the brush, where he’d really need one.

First thing in the morning, he’d unpack that trunk and go over all those maps. There were half a dozen spaceports and maintenance shops and shipyards within a half-day by airboat, none of which had been looted. He’d look them all over; that would take a couple of weeks. Pick the best shipyard and concentrate on it. Kurt Fawzi’d be the man to recruit labor. Professor Kellton was a scholar, not a scientist. He didn’t know beans about hyperdrive engines, but he knew how to do library research.

They came to the edge of High Garden Terrace at the escalator, long motionless, its moving parts rusted fast, that led down to the Mall, and at the bottom of it was Senta’s, the tables under the open sky.

A crowd was already gathering. There was Tom Brangwyn, and there was Kurt Fawzi and his wife, and Lynne. And there was Senta herself, fat and dumpy, in one of her preposterous red-and-purple dresses, bustling about, bubbling happily one moment and screaming invective at some laggard waiter the next.

The dinner, Conn knew, would be the best he had eaten in five years, and afterward they would sit in the dim glow of Beta Gartner, sipping coffee and liqueurs, smoking and talking and visiting back and forth from one table to another, as they always did in the evenings at Senta’s. Another bit from Eirrarsson’s poem came back to him:

We sit in the twilight, the shadows among,

And we talk of the happy days when we were brave and young.

That was for the old ones, for Colonel Zareff and Judge Ledue and Dolf Kellton, maybe even for Tom Brangwyn and Franz Veltrin and for his father. But his brother Charley and the boys of his generation would have a future to talk about. And so would he, and Lynne Fawzi.

* * * *

Copyright © 1958 by Galaxy Publishing Corporation.

(1905-1978)

The first British writer to contribute regularly to
Astounding
, Russell was a scientist, engineer, and military veteran, but is mostly remembered today for his bitingly satirical (but often very funny) sendups of bureaucracy, the military, racism, and many other topics. While other Astounding writers wrote about larger-than-life heroes or brilliant scientists, Russell was more likely to poke fun at how seriously heroes and scientists took themselves and the universe around them.

Born into a military family (his father was a military engineer and sometime instructor at Sandhurst), Russell traveled frequently during his childhood, acquiring both an expansive view of the world that would color his expansive universe and a cynical view of military culture. He studied the sciences broadly while in college (ranging from physics to metallurgy to chemistry) and carried that interest into his professional career, working as an technical consultant at an engineering firm and was active in the Fortean Society. He was a founding member of the British Interplanetary Society in 1933.

Russell married in 1930 and had a daughter, Erica, in 1934, about the same time he started writing science fiction. His stories started to appear in
Astounding
in 1937 and he soon became, according to Alan Dean Foster’s account, John W. Campbell’s favorite writer. Through the 1950s, Russell was both successful and prolific, to the point where he was able to write full-time. Then around 1960 he stopped writing completely, for reasons no one was quite sure of. He told Foster that he had run out of inspiration and felt like all the good SF ideas had been used up. Campbell was certain that some personal tragedy had caused Russell’s writer’s block. Whatever the reason, he never resumed his SF career.

A lot of humorous stories lose their edge after a few years and become dated, but “Allamagoosa” is still widely read more than half a century after its first appearance, and is probably Russell’s best-known story. It won the first Hugo awarded for short fiction in 1955; Russell was the first British author to win the award.

First published in
Astounding Magazine
, May 1955

It was a long time since the
Bustler
had been so silent. She lay in the Sirian spaceport, her tubes cold, her shell particle-scarred, her air that of a long-distance runner exhausted at the end of a marathon. There was good reason for this: she had returned from a lengthy trip by no means devoid of troubles.

Now, in port, well-deserved rest had been gained if only temporarily. Peace, sweet peace. No more bothers, no more crises, no more major upsets, no more dire predicaments such as crop up in free flight at least twice a day. Just peace.

Hah!

Captain McNaught reposed in his cabin, feet up on desk, and enjoyed the relaxation to the utmost. The engines were dead, their hellish pounding absent for the first time in months. Out there in the big city, four hundred of his crew were making whoopee under a brilliant sun. This evening, when First Officer Gregory returned to take charge, he was going to go into the fragrant twilight and make the rounds of neon-lit civilization.

That was the beauty of making landfall at long last. Men could give way to themselves, blow off surplus steam, each according to his fashion. No duties, no worries, no dangers, no responsibilities in spaceport. A haven of safety and comfort for tired rovers.

Again, hah!

Burman, the chief radio officer, entered the cabin. He was one of the half-dozen remaining on duty and bore the expression of a man who can think of twenty better things to do.

“Relayed signal just come in, sir.” Handing the paper across, he waited for the other to look at it and perhaps dictate a reply.

Taking the sheet, McNaught removed the feet from his desk, sat erect, and read the message aloud.

Terran Headquarters to
Bustler.
Remain Siriport pending further orders. Rear Admiral Vane W. Cassidy due there seventeenth. Feldman. Navy Op. Command, Sirisec
.

He looked up, all happiness gone from his leathery features, and groaned.

“Something wrong?” asked Burman, vaguely alarmed.

McNaught pointed at three thin books on his desk. “The middle one. Page twenty.”

Leafing through it, Burman found an item that said:
Vane W. Cassidy, R-Ad. Head Inspector Ships and Stores.

Burman swallowed hard. “Does that mean—?”

“Yes, it does,” said McNaught without pleasure. “Back to training-college and all its rigmarole. Paint and soap, spit and polish.” He put on an officious expression, adopted a voice to match it. “Captain, you have only seven ninety-nine emergency rations. Your allocation is eight hundred. Nothing in your logbook accounts for the missing one. Where is it? What happened to it? How is it that one of the men’s kit lacks an officially issued pair of suspenders? Did you report his loss?”

“Why does he pick on us?” asked Burman, appalled. “He’s never chivvied us before.”

“That’s why,” informed McNaught, scowling at the wall. “It’s our turn to be stretched across the barrel.” His gaze found the calendar. “We have three days—and we’ll need ‘em! Tell Second Officer Pike to come here at once.”

Burman departed gloomily. In short time, Pike entered. His face reaffirmed the old adage that bad news travels fast.

“Make out an indent,” ordered McNaught, “for one hundred gallons of plastic paint, Navy gray, approved quality. Make out another for thirty gallons of interior white enamel. Take them to spaceport stores right away. Tell them to deliver by six this evening along with our correct issue of brushes and sprayers. Grab up any cleaning material that’s going for free.”

“The men won’t like this,” remarked Pike, feebly.

“They’re going to love it,” McNaught asserted. “A bright and shiny ship, all spic and span, is good for morale. It says so in that book. Get moving and put those indents in. When you come back, find the stores and equipment sheets and bring them here. We’ve got to check stocks before Cassidy arrives. Once he’s here we’ll have no chance to make up shortages or smuggle out any extra items we happened to find in our hands.”

“Very well, sir.” Pike went out wearing the same expression as Burman’s.

Lying back in his chair, McNaught muttered to himself. There was a feeling in his bones that something was sure to cause a last-minute ruckus. A shortage of any item would be serious enough unless covered by a previous report. A surplus would be bad, very bad. The former implied carelessness or misfortune. The latter suggested barefaced theft of government property in circumstances condoned by the commander.

For instance, there was that recent case of Williams of the heavy cruiser
Swift
. He’d heard of it over the spacevine when out around Bootes. Williams had been found in unwitting command of eleven reels of electric-fence wire when his official issue was ten. It had taken a court-martial to decide that the extra reel—which had formidable barter-value on a certain planet—had not been stolen from space-stores, or, in sailor jargon, “teleportated aboard.” But Williams had been reprimanded. And that did not help promotion.

He was still rumbling discontentedly when Pike returned bearing a folder of foolscap sheets.

“Going to start right away, sir?”

“We’ll have to.” He heaved himself erect, mentally bid good-bye to time off and a taste of the bright lights. “It’ll take long enough to work right through from bow to tail. I’ll leave the men’s kit inspection to the last.”

Marching out of the cabin, he set forth toward the bow, Pike following with broody reluctance.

As they passed the open main lock, Peaslake observed them, bounded eagerly up the gangway and joined behind. A pukka member of the crew, he was a large dog whose ancestors had been more enthusiastic than selective. He wore with pride a big collar inscribed:
Peaslake
—
Property of S.S.
Bustler. His chief duties, ably performed, were to keep alien rodents off the ship and, on rare occasions, smell out dangers not visible to human eyes.

The three paraded forward, McNaught and Pike in the manner of men grimly sacrificing pleasure for the sake of duty, Peaslake with the panting willingness of one ready for any new game no matter what.

Reaching the bow-cabin, McNaught dumped himself in the pilot’s seat, took the folder from the other. “You know this stuff better than me—the chart room is where I shine. So I’ll read them out while you look them over.” He opened the folder, started on the first page. “K1. Beam compass, type D, one of.”

“Check,” said Pike.

“K2. Distance and direction indicator, electronic, type JJ, one of.”

“Check.”

“K3. Port and starboard gravitic meters, Casini models, one pair.”

“Check.”

Peaslake planted his head in McNaught’s lap, blinked soulfully and whined. He was beginning to get the others’ viewpoint. This tedious itemizing and checking was a hell of a game. McNaught consolingly lowered a hand and played with Peaslake’s ears while he ploughed his way down the list.

“K187. Foam rubber cushions, pilot and co-pilot, one pair.”

“Check.”

* * * *

By the time First Officer Gregory appeared, they had reached the tiny intercom cubby and poked around it in semidarkness. Peaslake had long departed in disgust.

“M24. Spare minispeakers, three inch, type T2, one set of six.”

“Check.”

Looking in, Gregory popped his eyes and said, “What’s going on?”

“Major inspection due soon.” McNaught glanced at his watch. “Go see if stores has delivered a load and if not why not. Then you’d better give me a hand and let Pike take a few hours off.”

“Does this mean land-leave is canceled?”

“You bet it does—until after Hizonner has been and gone.” He glanced at Pike. “When you get into the city, search around and send back any of the crew you can find. No arguments or excuses. Also no alibis and/or delays. It’s an order.”

Pike registered unhappiness. Gregory glowered at him, went away, came back and said, “Stores will have the stuff here in twenty minutes’ time.” With bad grace he watched Pike depart.

“M47. Intercom cable, woven-wire protected, three drums.”

“Check,” said Gregory, mentally kicking himself for returning at the wrong time.

The task continued until late in the evening, was resumed early next morning. By that time three-quarters of the men were hard at work inside and outside the vessel, doing their jobs as though sentenced to them for crimes contemplated but not yet committed.

Moving around the ship’s corridors and catwalks had to be done crab-fashion, with a nervous sidewise edging. Once again it was being demonstrated that the Terran life-form suffers from ye fear of wette paynt. The first smearer would have ten years willed off his unfortunate life.

It was in these conditions, in midafternoon of the second day, that McNaught’s bones proved their feelings had been prophetic. He recited the ninth page while Jean Blanchard confirmed the presence and actual existence of all items enumerated. Two-thirds of the way down they hit the rocks, metaphorically speaking, and commenced to sink fast.

McNaught said boredly, “V1097. Drinking bowl, enamel, one of.”

“Is zis,” said Blanchard, tapping it.

“V1098. Offog, one.”

“
Quoi?
“ asked Blanchard, staring.

“V1098. Offog, one,” repeated McNaught. “Well, why are you looking thunderstruck? This is the ship’s galley. You’re the head cook. You know what’s supposed to be in the galley, don’t you? Where’s this offog?”

“Never hear of heem,” stated Blanchard, flatly.

“You must have. It’s on this equipment-sheet in plain, clear type. Offog, one, it says. It was here when we were fitted-out four years ago. We checked it ourselves and signed for it.”

“I signed for nossings called offog,” Blanchard denied. “In the cuisine zere is no such sing.”

“Look!” McNaught scowled and showed him the sheet.

Blanchard looked and sniffed disdainfully. “I have here zee electronic oven, one of. I have jacketed boilers, graduated capacities, one set. I have bain marie pans, seex of. But no offog. Never heard of heem. I do not know of heem.” He spread his hands and shrugged. “No offog.”

“There’s got to be,” McNaught insisted. “What’s more, when Cassidy arrives there’ll be hell to pay if there isn’t.”

“You find heem,” Blanchard suggested.

“You got a certificate from the International Hotels School of Cookery. You got a certificate from the Cordon Bleu College of Cuisine. You got a certificate with three credits from the Space-Navy Feeding Center,” McNaught pointed out. “All that—and you don’t know what an offog is.”

“
Nom d’un chien!
” ejaculated Blanchard, waving his arms around. “I tell you ten t’ousand time zere is no offog. Zere never was an offog. Escoffier heemself could not find zee offog of vich zere is none. Am I a magician perhaps?”

“It’s part of the culinary equipment,” McNaught maintained. “It must be because it’s on page nine. And page nine means its proper home is in the galley, care of the head cook.”

“Like hail it does,” Blanchard retorted. He pointed at a metal box on the wall. “Intercom booster. Is zat mine?”

McNaught thought it over, conceded, “No, it’s Burman’s. His stuff rambles all over the ship.”

“Zen ask heem for zis bloody offog,” said Blanchard, triumphantly.

“I will. If it’s not yours, it must be his. Let’s finish this checking first. If I’m not systematic and thorough Cassidy will jerk off my insignia.” His eyes sought the list. “V1099. Inscribed collar, leather, brass studded, dog, for the use of. No need to look for that. I saw it myself five minutes ago.” He ticked the item, continued, “V1100. Sleeping basket, woven reed, one of.”

“Is zis,” said Blanchard, kicking it into a corner.

“V1101. Cushion, foam rubber, to fit sleeping basket, one of.”

“Half of,” Blanchard contradicted. “In four years he has chewed away other half.”

“Maybe Cassidy will let us indent for a new one. It doesn’t matter. We’re okay so long as we can produce the half we’ve got.” McNaught stood up, closed the folder. “That’s the lot for here. I’ll go see Burman about this missing item.”

The inventory party moved on.

* * * *

Burman switched off a UHF receiver, removed his earplugs, and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“In the galley we’re short an offog,” explained McNaught. “Where is it?”

“Why ask me? The galley is Blanchard’s bailiwick.”

“Not entirely. A lot of your cables run through it. You’ve two terminal boxes in there, also an automatic switch and an intercom booster. Where’s the offog?”

“Never heard of it,” said Burman, baffled.

McNaught shouted, “Don’t tell me that! I’m already fed up hearing Blanchard saying it. Four years back we had an offog. It says so here. This is our copy of what we checked and signed for. It says we signed for an offog. Therefore we must have one. It’s got to be found before Cassidy gets here.”

“Sorry, sir,” sympathized Burman. “I can’t help you.”

“You can think again,” advised McNaught. “Up in the bow there’s a direction and distance indicator. What do
you
call it?”

“A didin,” said Burman, mystified.

“And,” McNaught went on, pointing at the pulse transmitter, “what do you call
that?
”

“The opper-popper.”

“Baby names, see? Didin and opper-popper. Now rack your brains and remember what you called an offog four years ago.”

“Nothing,” asserted Burman, “has ever been called an offog to my knowledge.”