Sempre (Forever) (73 page)

“
Il tempo guarisce tutti i mali
,” Carmine said after a moment, rubbing his chest where those words were inked on his flesh. “Time heals all wounds. When I first got the tattoo, I didn’t believe it, but I do now. You can get over anything with enough time. I’m not sure how much it’s gonna take to work through this shit we have going on, but I have all the time in the world for you.”

He wrapped his arms around her, and she closed her eyes as she hugged him. “If you didn’t believe it, why’d you get the tattoo?”

“It’s something my mom used to say.” He let out a curious laugh. “Reminds me of you and your random pieces of trivia. I don’t know why it took me so long to see the similarities. It should’ve been obvious that my mom had grown up like you.”

Haven pulled away from him. “What did you say?”

He cut his eyes at her. ”Which part?”

“Your mama was like me? You mean a slave?”

He cringed at the word but nodded. “I thought you knew that. I mean, you saw the diary.”

She shook her head. “I only read a piece of paper that fell out of it, Carmine. I didn’t read your mama’s diary.”

His eyes widened. “You didn’t? I thought you read it. Hell, I would’ve read it. I gave it to my father so I wouldn’t be tempted.”

“Dr. DeMarco knows?”

“Of course he knows,” he said. “He’s known for years. It’s no coincidence you ended up here, Haven.”

All of the sudden, as she stood there in the kitchen, the fog started lifting and everything became clear. Dr. DeMarco had done it for his wife. The reason he bought her, the reason he was freeing her. Masters were supposed to take life away, but yet he’d done everything in his power to give her one instead.

The knowledge of that made it feel like the ground was moving.

*  *  *  *

Haven was in her room when Carmine walked in, clutching a fairly large white envelope. “You have mail,
tesoro
.”

She eyed him warily as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He handed the mail to her, and the return address was from North Carolina Community Colleges. “Is this…?”

“Your test results,” he said, answering her question before she could finish asking.

She stared at the envelope and ran her finger along the seal.

“Are you gonna open it?” There was enthusiasm in Carmine’s voice. It frazzled her. It was the first time she’d put herself out there. The thought of failing scared her.

“Can you do it for me?”

He shook his head. “You should do it.”

She carefully tore the flap and pulled out the paper. The actual scores were lost on her as she stared at the certificate attached to the transcript, the words High School Equivalency Diploma etched along the top with a golden seal.

“I passed?” she asked, trying to hold back the excitement threatening to burst forth, but it was stronger than her. She threw herself at Carmine before he could get out a word, the force of her body knocking him over.

Laughing, he rolled them over. “Damn, baby. Trying to throw me off the bed?”

She smiled excitedly. “I passed!”

“You did,” he said. “Can’t say I’m surprised. I knew you would.”

He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her slowly, but she could feel pure passion emanating from him. It was an innocent kiss, yet so much more than that. It was a kiss of redemption, of forgiveness and pride. It was a kiss that said no matter what may have happened in the past, there was still hope for the future.

Hope
. It was a feeling she reveled in now, instead of cowering away as before. “Thank you for believing in me,” she whispered against his mouth.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he responded, pulling back with a smile. “And don't worry, because everything will work out. We're one step closer. You can go to college now.”

“What about you? When are you going to test for college?”

“Soon,” he said. “I signed up before we went to California.”

“Are you excited?”

He chuckled. “I wouldn't say the SAT's are thrilling,
tesoro
. I’m just ready to get it over. I need to start filling out college applications, so we need to figure out where we're going... especially if I’m gonna try to play football next year. California? New York? Camelot? Bikini Bottom? Narnia? Emerald City? Take your pick.”

She had no idea what most of those places were. “I don’t know.”

“Well, think about it, okay? But not today. Today’s for celebrating, not thinking. Look at where you were a year ago and look at you now. You're free, you have a degree, and we're in love and gonna make it through this shit if it kills us.” He paused, his brow furrowing as she laughed. “Yeah, that didn’t make sense, but you get what I’m saying. We haven't had a reason to celebrate in a while, so come on, get up, put on some decent clothes, and let's forget about all of this for awhile and just
be
. We don't get to just
be
enough.”

She glanced down at the black pants and Durante High School football shirt she was wearing. “What's wrong with my clothes?”

“Everything I just said and all you got from that is me telling you to change?” he asked with amusement, pulling her to her feet. “Change. Clothes, not you. I don't want you to ever change, but I’m kinda tired of looking at that fucking shirt.”

“I like this shirt,” she said, his laughter filtering back in as he left the room.

Chapter 45

Time passed swiftly as they settled back in to life. Haven stayed busy during the days when Carmine was gone, cleaning and baking to pass the time. It was difficult for her not to dwell on things when she was alone, her guilt continuing to eat away at her.

She awoke the third Saturday in September just as Carmine was getting out of the shower. She lay still in the bed and watched him quietly dress as he tried his best not to disturb her. He stood in front of the closet, and even in the semi-darkened room, she could make out the definition of his back muscles and the lines of his tattoos. His skin glowed in the faint light filtering in from the open bathroom door, mesmerizing her. Even his scar shined silver in the light as he absent-mindedly rubbed it.

If there was one image of Carmine DeMarco she never wanted to forget, it was this one. It was the image of him exposed and vulnerable, sneaking around his own bedroom in the dark. It was something few would ever see, but it was an image she couldn't bear to lose. Most people knew the selfish young boy, spoiled and irresponsible, but she was one of the lucky few that got to see Carmine for who he was. Completely stripped down to the core, so compassionate and caring, a gentle soul despite his scarred exterior.

The quiet contentment he oozed when he thought no one was watching took her breath away. She loved him with every fiber of her being, and just the fact that, after everything, he could still stand in front of her as he was spoke volumes. He was a part of her, and she was certain nothing could ever take that away.

He sighed and slipped on some clothes before grabbing a pair of Nike's from his closet. He kicked the corner of the bed as he walked by and cursed profusely under his breath. Haven tried to stifle her laughter but failed, his head snapping in her direction when he heard her.

“How long have you been awake?” he asked, sitting down to slip on the shoes.

She sat up. “Just a few minutes.”

“And you were what, watching me get dressed?” He playfully nudged her with his elbow. She blushed, hoping he couldn't see it in the darkness, but nothing escaped his notice. “Yeah, you were.”

“I couldn't help it. You're too beautiful not to watch.”

“And you're half-asleep and don't know what the fuck you're saying.” He kissed her as he stood back up. “I have to go or I’m gonna be late.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks,
tesoro
. I'll see you in a few hours.”

She listened as his footsteps descended the stairs, an odd feeling overcoming her. It felt like all of the happiness had been sucked from the room.

*  *  *  *

Haven was in the kitchen, pouring a glass of juice, when she heard a door close on the first floor. She tensed instinctively as footsteps started in her direction.

Relax, she told herself. It’s just Dr. DeMarco.

“Good morning,” he said when he walked in. It was the most he'd spoken to her in a few days.

“Morning, sir.”

His appearance was disheveled, dark circles under his eyes. He was worn down by life, and Haven wondered, as she gazed at him, how much of that she’d caused.

“I’m leaving for Chicago. Do you need anything before I go?”

The Mazda was in the body shop getting fixed, so Carmine had been driving the Audi around. “I’m fine, thank you.”

He nodded. “Okay, then. Have a good weekend.”

“You, too, sir.”

Dr. DeMarco departed a few minutes later. Haven spent a good part of the morning dusting the same things she dusted every other day that week. It was sometime after eleven, and she was cleaning out the pantry when a vehicle pulled up outside. Walking to the window, Haven gazed out at the unfamiliar blue car in the driveway.

The driver's side door opened, and Jen, the nurse from the hospital, stepped out. Haven headed for the foyer, but the sound of the doorbell ringing stopped her dead in her tracks. Something about it sent a chill down her spine, coldness radiating through her so quickly she thought she’d be sick.

Something wasn’t right. She could feel it.

She grabbed the phone from the family room, hesitating before pressing the speed dial for Dr. DeMarco's cell phone. Leaning against the wall, she waited while it rang.

“Is everything okay?” Dr. DeMarco asked. She’d never called him before. She never thought she’d have to.

“I’m not sure, sir.”

“What's going on?” he asked as the doorbell rang again, the sound making her flinch. “Is someone there?”

“It's the nurse you work with.”

“Jen?”

“Yes. I was going to answer, but—”

“No,” he said sharply, his tone frightening her into immediate silence. The doorbell rang a few times in succession before Jen started knocking on the door. “Don't answer it, child. Get a hold of Carmine right away. I don't want you alone right now.”

Something was definitely wrong if Dr. DeMarco sensed it.

“Set the alarm. The code’s 62373. I don’t know if Carmine told you it yet or not.”

He had, but Haven wasn’t going to say anything.

“And don't open the door,” Dr. DeMarco said. “I don't care who shows up. Don’t open it for anyone but Carmine.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hanging up, Haven clutched the phone as she tip-toed over to the front door. It was unlocked, and she held her breath as she turned the deadbolt. Jen was still knocking as Haven glanced at the keypad, punching in the code and pressing the button to activate it.

Jen stopped knocking after a moment, her muffled voice carrying through the door as Haven pressed her ear to it to listen. “What do you want me to do? She isn't answering… Yes, I’m sure she's in there… He left this morning like he was supposed to.”

There was a pause as Haven’s heart pounded furiously.

“No, she's not with him. He’s taking a test, remember?”

Jen continued, the distress in her voice alarming. “I know, but please don't be mad! I promise I'll make this work. I know what it means to you. See you soon.”

Haven’s knees nearly gave out as Jen started pounding on the door again. “Hello?” she hollered. “Are you in there?”

Haven scampered over to the side, huddling in the corner as she dialed Carmine's number on speed dial. It went straight to voice mail, and Haven let out a shaky breath as Jen repeatedly pressed the doorbell again.

“I’m going to break in if you don't answer this door!” she said, her demeanor turning from eagerness to anger. “I’m not leaving here without you. I'll be damned if I’m going to let you ruin this for me!”

Jen started beating on the windows then, and Haven looked back down at the phone. Before she could react, a shrill ring sounded through the house as someone called. Haven’s heart nearly stalled at the sound, and she trembled as she answered it.

“Hello?”

Nothing.

“Dr. DeMarco?”

More silence.

“Carmine, is that you?”

She heard it then, the shudder of a breath on the line. The sound made her skin feel as if it was trying to slink away. There was a click as the person hung up, the sound of loud beeping assaulting her ears. Without hesitation, she hung up the line before her fingers dialed the number that popped into her head.

555-0121

She’d stared at the paper with the number so much that it seemed to have been burned into her mind.

It rang as she curled into herself, fighting to keep her composure. The phone was answered after the forth ring, the voice tentative. “Uh, hello?”

“Nicholas.” She spoke as quietly as she could. “It’s Haven.”

“Haven? Did something happen?”

“Yes. Well, no. I’m okay. At least, I think I am, but I need help and I don't know who else to ask. Dr. DeMarco told me to get a hold of Carmine, but his phone isn’t on. He broke it, I think.”

“Sooo... you're calling me instead?”

“Yes,” she said, “to find him.”

“Wait, you want me to track down your boyfriend?”

She sighed. “Yes, I need him to come home.”

“And you think me doing this is a good idea? No offense or anything, but I’m not in the mood for another fight.”

“I know, but it’s important. Please?”

“Fine,” he said. “I'll help you.”

“He's taking a test at the high school,” she said. “The SAT thing.”

“Jesus, you not only want me to tell Carmine what to do, but you want me to trespass on school property and drag him out of the SAT? He's going to kill me. I’m going to die today.”

“He’ll understand,” she said as Jen started wiggling the knob of the front door. “Thank you, Nicholas.”

It was noon when the banging stopped. Everything grew eerily silent before an engine started up outside, tires spinning in the driveway. Haven stood up and stepped into the kitchen, peeking out of the window to see Jen had left.