Selene of Alexandria (38 page)

After another half-hour of agonizing labor, Honoria gripped Selene's hand. "What's wrong? Why does it hurt so? Why won't it stop?" Her hand lost its grip and flopped to her side. Honoria's pale face had dark smudges under glazed eyes. Her hair lay lank with sweat.

"Honoria, stay with me. Don't give up." Selene clapped her friend's hand between both of hers, rubbing briskly. "Work just a little harder and we can get this baby out. Your baby, Honoria. Try harder for the child!"

"I just want to sleep, Selene. Please make the pain go so I can sleep." Honoria turned on to her side and cried.

Selene held her face, looking into her eyes. "Just a little more. Do you feel you have to push yet?"

"No. The pains just keep coming without stopping." Her eyes widened with fear. "Am I going to die, Selene? I don't want to die! I want to give Antonius his son." Even as she spoke, a shadow came over her face.

Selene shouted. "Someone bring Antonius! Call Melania. Lady Honoria is fading." She heard a flurry of footsteps behind her, and worried voices. She turned back to Honoria, climbed onto the bed, propped her friend up from behind, and held her tight. "Stay with us, Honoria. Don't die." The pregnant woman's breath came in catching gasps.

Selene heard Antonius at the door, arguing with Honoria's mother.

"Antonius, in here, quickly!"

Antonius pushed past the wall of women and rushed to the bedside. He knelt on the floor beside the spasming body of his wife and pushed her hair from her face. "Honoria? What I have I done to you?" Tears started down his cheeks.

"Antonius?" Honoria's wandering gaze searched for her husband's face. "I'm so sor...oh!" She gasped again. A gout of blood stained the sheets between her legs.

Melania came up behind Antonius, sending a sorrowful glance to Selene. Honoria's body went slack. Her breathing stopped. Melania closed Honoria's staring eyes and touched the shocked man's shoulder. "There's nothing more we can do. God has called them to heaven."

Selene, still holding the body, felt Honoria's belly give another shudder. "The baby! We might be able to save it."

Melania looked at her in horror. "Are you mad? The woman is dead. It's God's will."

"It's not mine." She dropped Honoria's shoulders, climbed out of the bed and searched frantically for her surgical bag. She pulled out a sharp scalpel and a wad of clean cloths.

Melania grabbed her shoulder in a vise-like grip. "What do you think you're doing?"

Selene shook her off and addressed Antonius. "A Cesarean. Urbib would do it, but he isn't here. It's our only chance to save the baby. Every moment counts."

Melania half turned toward Antonius, her jaw set in a stubborn line. "I don't recommend this. Let the lady rest in peace."

Selene turned back to the bedside, pushing her own feelings of grief and inadequacy aside. She looked at the body clinically, as if in anatomy class. She pulled the robe up over the belly and made a swift incision laterally from side to side through skin and underlying fat. The next cut, through abdominal muscle, exposed the womb.

No movement.

She carefully cut through the uterine wall, so as not to damage the child, and worked the baby out head and shoulders first. The infant boy was blue and still.

Selene remembered a trick Mother Nut had tried on a normally born infant that did not breathe. She flipped the baby over, gently opened its tiny mouth and, covering it with her own, sucked out the fluid, spitting it to the side and gently puffing air into the fragile body.

She heard the servants' low murmurs at the edge of her consciousness, but Urbib's horrified tones cut through her concentration. "What, by all that's holy, is she doing?"

Antonius' voice floated back, soothing the offended physician.

After several puffs, she turned the baby onto its stomach and thumped its back again. The baby coughed, twitched, coughed again. It gave a lusty yell. Its blue color faded to angry red. It screwed up its tiny face and opened its mouth in a sustained cry.

Selene righted the infant, held it to her chest so it could hear her heartbeat, and covered it in a clean cloth.

Urbib examined Honoria's body, muttering.

"Well done, Selene. I didn't believe it possible to save the child." Melania took the baby and looked it over critically. "A strapping boy. The Lord was with you today." She handed the baby back to Selene. "I'll cut the cord."

After Melania tied off the birth cord, Selene washed the blood off the wiggling body and wrapped it in swaddling cloths. She turned to find Antonius shifting from foot to foot, rubbing his palms on his tunic.

"Would you like to hold him?" She gently laid the baby in his arms. "You have a fine son."

He held the bundle awkwardly. The baby opened its eyes, looking vaguely at its father. Antonius' face broke into a broad smile. "I'll name him Honorius Posthumous, after his mother. How can I thank you, Selene?"

She laid a hand on his arm. "I did what I could." Tears choked her throat. "I wish it could've been more."

"You did quite enough to the poor girl." Urbib's sanctimonious voice cut through their conversation. "I looked at the body. Butchery, sheer butchery! Had I been called sooner, I could have saved both mother and child."

"I doubt it," Selene fired back. "The placenta was misplaced and caused hemorrhaging. Nothing you could have done would have saved her, and an embryotomy would have destroyed the child."

"Insolence!" Urbib turned to Antonius. "This from a chit of a girl whose father shouldn't have allowed her to leave the house, much less study medicine. Sir, would you take her word over that of a well-respected physician? Dismiss this female abomination at once."

Antonius' face turned red. He clutched his son tighter. "Leave this house. I would not have you insult the woman who saved my son's life. I trust her abilities any day over yours."

Urbib drew himself to his considerable height and looked down on both of them. "You, boy, are a fool. And you," he pointed a finger at Selene, "will be held accountable for your incompetence." He turned on his heel and stalked from the room.

Tears welled in Selene's eyes as exhaustion and grief caught up with her. Her limbs shook; she felt lightheaded. She reached for the support of a wall and slid down to a stone bench. Antonius hastily passed the baby to a servant and put his arms around her. She trembled against him, letting the tears fall silently. Melania brought her a drink and cloth to wash her face. Selene hiccupped then took a sip.

"Don't worry about Urbib." Melania soothed. "He does not credit women with the same abilities as men. It offends him that you, not he, saved the baby. His pride will recover."

Selene looked at the determined crowd of women. The praying ladies consoled Honoria's wailing mother with stories of their own losses. The servants equally divided between caring for Honoria's poor battered body, comforting the infant, and cleaning up the bloody room.

"I've done all I can. I want to go home and sleep for a week." Selene looked around the floor. "Where's my bag?"

"Here." Antonius knelt and helped her pack the instruments. They finished the task in silence. "I'll see you safely home."

She looked into his face, feeling lethargy so profound she thought she might fall asleep on her feet. "Thanks." She pushed a curling tendril of hair out of her face. "I could use the company."

They walked to the door in silence, and exited onto the broad avenue. Selene breathed deeply of the evening air, trying to purge the stink of blood and death from her lungs. Antonius took her hand. She had a vague notion this was unseemly, but was too tired to protest.

As they approached her father's home, Antonius' grip tightened. "I never loved Honoria, but I had no wish for her death."

"I know." Selene squeezed back. "She was a good friend to me and loved you very much. She did everything in her power to make you happy."

"She tried, but there was one thing she couldn't do for me." He stopped in the shadow of the portico, cupped his hand under her chin, and whispered, "She could never be you."

He bent to kiss her lips, but she turned her face so he brushed her cheek instead. "We shouldn't be doing this. Honoria isn't even cold, much less decently buried and mourned. Antonius, I can't talk to you now. I'm so tired, I don't know how I feel."

"When can we talk?" he asked bitterly. "At the funeral? At the christening? Family and friends always surround us. We never have a moment alone." His jaw firmed. "I gave you up once; I won't again."

"What has changed since we last talked of this?" Selene looked into his haunted eyes. "Honoria's dowry will go to her son. Your father and mine struggle to meet the taxes and keep their councilor obligations. We are a year older and not much wiser."

Chapter 30

Selene told the servants not to disturb her, and went to her room. She barely had energy to strip off her soiled clothes and unpin her hair before dropping into an exhausted, nightmare-ridden slumber. Just after dawn, she woke, unable to go back to sleep. Her mind kept reviewing the events of the day before. At the thought of Honoria, her throat constricted and tears threatened. Before she gave way to another round of weeping Selene swung her legs over the side of the bed, intending to throw herself into the day.

"Not me." Rebecca smiled. "But I did tell Anicia to let me know as soon as you stirred. I didn't expect you up quite so early."

Selene ran a hand through her tangled hair. "It's not my choice. My body's schedule doesn't seem to include sleep." She yawned. "I need to go to Mother Nut today. We have many patients…" her voice trailed off at Rebecca's concerned face.

"Is that wise? You've only just recovered from the plague and Honoria's death must be quite a blow to you."

Selene's shoulders slumped and she bowed her head. Rebecca put down the tray and sat next to her on the bed. "I'm sure you did everything you could."

"I did. Even Melania couldn't save her." Selene choked back a sob. "I'm sure the Good Lord has his reasons for whom He chooses to take, but they aren't clear to me."

Rebecca sat, arm around her shuddering shoulders until Selene's stomach growled. "That is perfectly clear. If I know you, you haven't eaten in two days." She rose briskly. "I brought your favorite sharp cheese, figs, and pomegranates. Food in the stomach has a way of soothing the heart."

During the leisurely breakfast, Rebecca convinced Selene to stay home and rest. "Check up on the household, read to your father, take a nap," she advised.

Afterwards, Rebecca helped her dress then Selene wandered to her father's study, still immersed in her pain. He was already up and studying correspondence.

"Rebecca is a sensible young woman. Phillip was right in convincing me to take her back. You could leave more of the household duties to her."

"I already do, Father. She's my secret." Selene smiled. "I rarely make any decisions about the household. She stands in my stead, so I can keep up with my studies, do my apprenticeship and nurse you."

"I don't need that much nursing anymore." Calistus harrumphed and eyed her speculatively. "I've had plenty of opportunity to think lately. I've been a selfish old man, keeping you at my side. It's more than time you married and started a family of your own."

"I was under the impression there were few suitors knocking on your door." Selene laughed softly. "I've been told on very good authority that my unorthodox education and proclivity for waywardness make me a most unsuitable match."

Calistus' face flushed. "Who dares say such things to my daughter?"

"Calm yourself, Father!" She poured him a glass of watered wine. "The mothers of most of my friends have made no bones about their distaste. That I work at a profession makes me an outcast in my circle. Have you noticed I am rarely invited to other girls' homes? Their mothers don't want me infecting their daughters with wild notions." Tears came unbidden to her eyes. "Honoria was one of the few friends who never changed. She loved hearing about my 'adventures,' as she called them, and never tired of giving me advice on attracting a husband."