Selby's Stardom (16 page)

Mrs Trifle wore a lovely ball gown that she'd made out of two of her old floral frocks. She carried a huge bunch of pansies that she'd picked from her own garden just for the occasion.

The invitation to the awards said that men had to wear dark suits. Dr Trifle didn't have a dark suit. But he did have an old light-coloured suit that he dyed black using his newly invented suit-dying liquid. Sadly, he left black smudges on everyone and everything he bumped up against — including Mrs Trifle. But, being Dr Trifle, he didn't notice.

Selby and the Trifles sat in the front row of the theatre as the hours passed and the awards were given out. Bonnie Blake won the award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role and thanked everybody — especially Selby.

Finally the time for the presentation of the Best Actor award drew near. Artie Schotz opened the envelope.

‘I can't possibly win,' Selby thought as he felt his heart beating in his chest. ‘I'm up against five other actors and they're all super famous.'

‘And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to …'

Everyone held their breath as Artie opened the envelope and read out the name on the card.

‘… Selby Trifle!'

‘I can't believe it!' Selby gasped. Suddenly everyone was standing and clapping. ‘What's happening to me?' Selby thought. ‘I'm really happy but suddenly I feel like crying. I love this! I love this!'

Selby was lead up to the stage so that everyone could get a good look at him.

‘This is it,' he thought. ‘I've kept my secret a secret long enough. I always knew that a time would come when I should tell my secret. I think that time is finally here. Keeping my secret a secret any longer would be like lying to all these wonderful people. I just have to do it. And I have to thank the Trifles in front of the whole world.'

As they were about to lead Selby back to his seat, he suddenly stood on his hind legs and put his paws over the podium.

‘I'd like to say a few words,' he started.

Suddenly there was silence followed by shrieks and other sorts of screams. Dr and Mrs Trifle jumped to their feet and gasped, ‘He can talk!'

‘Yes, I can talk,' Selby said. ‘I've been able to talk for years. Don't ask me how it happened because I don't understand it myself. I'll tell you about that later, okay? First of all I'd like to thank all the wonderful people who worked on
Selby, the Talking Dog.
Thanks Bonnie. Thanks Dino. Thanks Artie. And a special thanks goes to Izzy.'

As Selby talked there was a chorus of mumbling in the audience. The mumbling was followed by murmuring and the murmuring was followed by muttering.

‘But most of all,' Selby said, raising his voice so he could be heard over the noise. ‘Most of all, I'd like to thank those dear, sweet people, the Trifles. I can't tell you how much I love you two. You are the kindest, gentlest people in the whole world.'

But the mumbling and murmuring and muttering was getting louder and louder — like
when a teacher leaves a classroom. Soon there were screams of ‘How do they do it?!'

‘I get it!' someone yelled. ‘This is more of Mr Fureel's movie magic!'

‘Yes,' someone else said. ‘It's a laser image!'

‘No, no,' cried Dr Trifle, ‘it's a hologram. They're projecting it on him.'

‘How marvellous!' Mrs Trifle exclaimed.

There was a roar of laughter as Selby stood there for a moment longer.

‘What is this?' he thought. ‘I finally tell people my secret and they don't believe me. I guess that makes sense because they're movie people. They wouldn't know what's real and what isn't. Oh, well,' Selby thought, as he made his way back to his seat, ‘at least I got to say what I've wanted to say all these years. And now I can keep it a secret and never feel guilty again!'

The author would like to thank Vanessa Radnidge once again for the editing of this book. And thanks to the rest of the staff at HarperCollins and to all of the kids who have wirtten to Selby and Duncan by snail mail and email.
(Sorry if it sometimes took ages to write back to you.)

Duncan Ball is an Australian author and scriptwriter, best known for his popular books for children. Among his most-loved works are the Selby books of stories plus the collections
Selby's Selection, Selby's Joke Book
and
Selby's Sidesplitting Joke Book.
Some of these books have also been published in New Zealand, Germany, Japan and the USA, and have won countless awards, most of which were voted by the children themselves.

Among Duncan's other books are the Emily Eyefinger series about the adventures of a girl who was born with an eye on the end of her finger, and the comedy novels
Piggott Place
and
Piggotts in Peril,
about the frustrations of twelve-year-old Bert Piggott forever struggling to get his family of ratbags and dreamers out of the trouble they are constantly getting themselves into.

Duncan lives in Sydney with his wife, Jill, and their cat, Jasper. Jasper often keeps Duncan company while he's writing and has been known to help by walking on the keyboard. Once, returning to his work, Duncan found the following word had mysteriously appeared on screen: ikantawq ……….

Emily Eyefinger
Emily Eyefinger, Secret Agent
Emily Eyefinger and the Lost Treasure
Emily Eyefinger and the Black Volcano
Emily Eyefinger's Alien Adventure
Emily Eyefinger and the Devil Bones
Emily Eyefinger and the Balloon Bandits
Emily Eyefinger and the Ghost Ship

Piggott Place
Piggotts in Peril

Selby's Secret
Selby Speaks
Selby Screams
Selby Supersnoop
Selby Spacedog
Selby Snowbound
Selby Surfs
Selby Snaps!
Selby's Joke Book
Selby Splits
Selby's Selection
Selby's Stardom
Selby's Side-splitting Joke Book
Selby Sorcerer