Seems Like Old Times (25 page)

"Full time."

"My God!"

"She calls it joint custody, but she expects him to
live with her and go to school there. I'd see him only on holidays and two
weeks in summer." Tony sucked in his breath and held it a moment before
continuing, his voice heart wrenching. "Hell, when he finds out his step
father could buy him a Porsche when he's sixteen, he'll probably want to go
live with them!"

"Don't you believe that for one
second!
"

Despair clouded his eyes. "No, I don't. I’ll fight
her right to the Supreme Court. Even if she wins, Ben will be thirty before all
the levels of appeals are gone through."

"That's right!" She wanted so much to hold him
and comfort him.

"Damn right."

He looked so miserable she couldn’t stop herself from
touching his arm--just his arm. "It's so wrong, Tony.
So
awful that you have to go through this!"

He slid his thumbs in his belt loops and turned away from
her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry?" She stepped closer.
"For
what?"

"I didn't want to tell you about this!" He
looked at her with a wry, rueful grin, and something in his dark, bright eyes
lit
a warmth
in her that reminded her of the kisses he
had given her, of the caresses they had shared. "I wanted you to think of
Miwok as a place where only good things happen. I wanted everything--you, me,
how it used to be between us--untouched by any ugliness. I couldn't do it.
Everything's different now...even us. Last night was special. I'm sorry the
real world intruded today."

She could have cried. "You always tried to protect
me, Tony, but I'm a big girl. And I'm glad you told me. If there's anything I
can do..."

"I don't think so."

"You're probably right. But if you need anything, if
you need me, or...or anything, call me.
Promise?"

He took one of her hands. "You always did want to set
the world right, you know."

"And now I report all that's wrong with it." She
shook her head at the irony of it all. "Do you have a good attorney?"
she asked, ever practical.

"Yes." His voice was monotone. "We've been
talking to Catherine and her husband's lawyer all along, but things broke down.
I expected this might be the outcome. Even expecting it, though, to actually
see it..."

"Maybe you can get an extension?"

"Right.
He might be nine and
a half instead of just nine before she takes him from me!" He let go of
her and walked toward the car, out of her reach, leaving her hand, her arms,
feeling empty. He swung the car door open. "We'd better get going. This
doesn't have to concern you."

She got into the passenger side. When he was in the
driver’s seat, beside her, she said, "I can make some phone calls to
people I know...hear if they have any advice on cases like this."

He started the ignition. "Sure," he replied, but
she thought he barely heard her.

The ride to her house seemed too short. They were there
before they had a chance to talk. Lee opened the door and got out at the same
time as Tony. He walked with her to the front door,
then
tucked his fingers in the back pockets of his jeans, waiting for her good bye.

Lee stared at him. How could she leave him when they still
had so much to say, when he had just been hit with the news about a custody
battle?

She turned and opened the front door, stepping into the
living room with a silent invitation for Tony to follow. He did.

She put her purse on a chair, her head bowed.

"I know you'll be finishing up here," he said,
"spending your last evening with your aunt,
then
going back to New York in the morning. I guess this is it, then."

"I...I don't know what to say."

"Will you need a ride to the airport?"

She shook her head, then finally turned and looked at him.
Her eyes filled with tears.

"If you've got time, now and then"--his voice
was hollow--"even if you don’t want me to call you, I’d like to hear from
you. Tell me how you're doing, if you'd like. I imagine you'll be real busy,
but we don't have to wait seventeen years again."

Her heart was breaking. "I used to ask about you,
years ago, whenever I talked to someone from home. Once when I came home to
visit, I went out to the Circle Z. A man was there, a stranger. He told me you
were married."

"I never knew." His voice was a whisper. "I
always thought as soon as you left, you'd forgotten."

"Not forgotten. I just stopped letting myself
remember. It hurt too much."

He stepped closer, letting her words seep through him.
"God,
Lisa "

"No." She placed her fingertips against his
lips,
then
cradled his head to hers. His arms circled
her. "I'm glad for my memories.
Old and new.
You're a fine man, Tony the best." Her words caught in her throat.

A part of her wanted, more than anything, to stay with
him. If he asked, what would she do? If he told her he needed her, loved her
for who she was today and not for the girl she used to be, what would she do?

Her arms tightened on his neck, but as she waited, she
knew he would never ask such a thing of her again. It was too late for them.
They'd both changed too much and their lives had moved too far apart from each
other. As much as she knew a part of her loved him and would always love him,
she had worked too long and too hard to get where she was. Lee Reynolds
couldn't exist in Miwok, as she well learned. The young, ambitious girl Tony
knew had matured, a woman now, with a career she'd worked hard for, and its
ensuing responsibilities. As much as her mother had pushed her to succeed, so,
too, had she pushed
herself.
Lee was all the potential
in Lisa, fulfilling its promise.

So if Lee couldn't live in Miwok, could Tony exist in New
York? A country estate, not terribly far from the city, somewhere that she
could see him on weekends or, at least, those weekends when she didn't have to
attend special functions or dinners, or cover a story out of town, or do a news
special report because of a crisis somewhere in the world.

Could she ask that of Tony?

She knew the answer.

He lifted his head and looked at her, studying her
features as if trying to commit them to memory. "I should get going."

"I wish I could be two places at once," she
murmured.

He smiled, understanding exactly what she meant. "You
always were an over achiever."

"Oh, bull!" She fought off tears.

"I'm going to miss you, Lisa Marie Reynolds."

"And I'll miss you too, Tony Santos."

He looked at her mouth and bent closer, then hesitated.
She looked at him, and leaned toward him, then stopped. She could feel his
breath against her face, could feel his muscles grow taut. "Tony,"
she whispered.

Then he kissed her, his fingers twisting in her hair,
holding her head near as he captured her mouth, then delved and explored it
with his tongue in a way that shot rapture through her, taking her breath away.
The force of the wild yearning she felt for him, the aching surge throughout
her body for this man rocked her.

He took his mouth from hers and pulled her to him in a
crushing hug as they realized this was good bye.

He stepped back and
lay
his hand
along the side of her face. "Knock 'em dead out there in the big world,
Lisa."

"I’ll try, Tony," she whispered.
"You, too."

He let go of her and walked to the door, glancing at her
one last time as he pulled it open, then he turned and was gone.

Lee stood at the window. Nearly a half-hour passed before
she went in search of Miriam and found her seated on the deck in the back yard
looking out at the oaks that covered the hillside.
A
bleakness
lingered in Miriam's eyes that Lee hadn't seen before.
"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing.
Was that Tony
I heard?"

"Yes."

"Has he gone?"

"We said good bye," she whispered.

Miriam dropped her gaze. "I see. You didn't tell
him?"

Lee knew what Miriam referred to. "No.
Never."

"Don’t you think he's owed an explanation?"

"Why open up old wounds, Miriam, or create new ones?
What we had together is gone now. Life goes on."

Miriam nodded and sat in silence a long moment. "I
guess some things aren't meant to be."

No matter how much it hurts, Lee thought. She tried to
push away the feeling. "You look troubled, Miriam."

Miriam studied a yellow rose a long while before
answering. "I'm just feeling a bit sentimental. That's all."

"You don't want to leave."

Miriam shot her a glance as if ready to protest, and then
realized the futility of lying. "I'm telling myself it's foolish to want
to stay in Miwok. I've made a home elsewhere.
A lovely home.
But I enjoyed it here so much these past two weeks. I was so comfortable, and
my dear old friends..." A soft sigh escaped from her aunt.

"And Gene."

Miriam
harumphed
.
"Don’t be silly. What do I want with a broken-down, has-been rodeo
star?"

"A star?
I didn’t know he’d
been a star."

"That’s because the man’s modest." Her voice
turned wistful. "You should see the trophies he’s got, and a big
championship silver belt, and--"

Lee was laughing.

"What’s so funny, Ms. Reynolds?"

"You are, Mrs. Dailey. You’ll miss Gene
Cantelli
whether you admit it or not."

She nodded. "I’m afraid you’re right."

"Reconnaissance pilots, rodeo stars--you like wild
men, Miriam."

"That’s me," she said with a sad sigh.
"One hot momma."

Lee covered her hand. "If you want to move back here,
do it.
Why not?"

A little brightness and a little hope sparkled in Miriam's
eyes, but then they dulled again. She pulled her hand away. "Moving so far
is a big step for a woman my age. What if I move and decide I don’t like it
here? What if I can't sell my house in San Diego? Or, what if I can't find a
house here that I like or can afford? Or, what if Gene
Cantelli
decides he’s making a mistake spending time with a woman like me when he’s
handsome enough that women half his age throw themselves at him?" She
shook her head. "I'm past the age to take risks, Lisa.
In
anything."

Lee watched Miriam look up again at the tall, spreading
oak before her, its limbs wide, like arms in welcome. "Stay here.
In this house."
The words were out of her mouth before
she even thought about them.

Miriam glanced at her. "What?"

Lee stared back as the rightness of the idea warmed her,
banishing any confusion, and leaving a certain peace. "It's perfect,
Miriam." Lee slid forward in her chair. "I don't need to sell the
house right away. Actually, I don’t need to sell it at all. The only reason I
was going to was to get it off my hands. But if you lived here, I wouldn't have
to worry about it."

"I don't know."

"Think about it. You could live in Miwok long enough
to decide if you really do like it here enough to move--Gene
Cantelli
or not. If you do, you could put your home up for
sale. Even once it sells, this will give you a place to stay until you find a
house you like well enough to buy."

"You make it sound too easy."

Lee took Miriam's hand. "Nothing's easy. But it's
possible--if you'd like to try it."

"I'd have to go back to pack some personal
things--and get more clothes. I’ll pay you rent."

"You will not! How many ways can I say I don’t need
more money? If you take care of the utilities, that’ll be plenty--if that’s all
right."

Miriam stared at her a moment, not quite believing, then
pleasure lit up her whole face. Even if Lee hadn't been entirely sure, the joy
on her aunt's face made it worthwhile. "Of course it's all right. It'd be
lovely, Lisa. What a wonderful, generous idea."

"I'm glad I can help. It's so little after all you've
done for me."

o0o

The next morning, Lee left early for the drive to the
airport. Soon after, Miriam would lock up the house and head for San Diego.

As Lee pulled out of the driveway, she concentrated on the
road in front of her, not wanting to look at the familiar sights around her
again, the homes of people she had known, the school,
the
shops. She felt as if there was a vacuum in her life, and that vacuum now
formed a hole in the pit of her stomach where she felt aching and empty. She
felt a surprising amount of envy of Miriam to be coming back here.

It'll be better when I'm in New York, she told herself.
That's my life now. I'll feel better once I'm working again. I feel content
there,
content at having achieved many of the goals I set
for myself, knowing I’m on the right path to achieve even more of them.

Miwok confused her. It made her question her life in New
York, and she didn't want to question it. Questions were painful, they left her
restless, even longing--but for what? That was the problem--restless and
longing for what?

She lifted her gaze then, and took in every detail of the
town until she turned onto the highway and it disappeared from view.

Manhattan put on its best face as Lee rode the taxi from
Kennedy to her apartment. She was anxious to get on with her life as she'd
known it. The life she'd struggle to succeed at, and was comfortable with. A
nagging uncertainty about that life when she was in Miwok, when she was with Tony,
had to be set aside. After all, she was proud of her achievements, and she
loved New York.