See How She Falls (4 page)

“I’ll
try to be more patient, but I can’t guarantee that I will ever be friends with
him. I think I might learn to tolerate him. I know that you’re where you need
to be, I just miss the life I thought we’d have. I am still playing catch-up.”
Kennan pulled me back against his body, almost smothering me.

“I’m
all yours, big guy. No matter what is going on in this insane world that will
always be true.” My response was garbled by the mouthful of t-shirt I was
trying to talk around.

“I
wish that we could make-up. Those damned runes are going to be the death of
me.” Kennan leaned in to gently kiss me, reminding me of everything I was
missing thanks to these God forsaken doodles.

I
pulled back with a raised brow. “I think you can find some creative ways to
avoid them, if you really think about it.”

The
wind was knocked from my lungs as Kennan pinned me to the couch. He hungrily
kissed down my neck, careful to avoid touching any part of me that may have a
rune. As he moved over me, a single thought crossed my mind. No matter what
he’d said, I knew things wouldn’t be getting better any time soon. The more I
changed, the more things would continue to shift between us. If he couldn’t
accept what was happening, I wasn’t sure anything would ever get better. I
shook the thoughts from my mind and turned my focus back to Kennan’s wicked
lips. There was no harm in focusing on the present.

Just
as Kennan began unzipping my dress, a knock sounded at the door.

“Damn," 
Kennan breathed. “It never ends.” He buried his face in my stomach for a second
before getting up and moving across the room.

“What
is it?” I choked out, trying not to sound as out of breath as I felt.

“Milady,
the Council members are getting ready to depart, and they wish to bid you a
proper farewell.” Conall’s voice sounded strained, as if there were a thousand
other things he wished he could be saying about the Council.

“I’m
on my way.” I stood and smoothed out my rumpled dress trying to rearrange the
disarray. I looked up to find Kennan staring at me. “Are we okay?” 

“We
will be,"  Kennan promised. “Now, go be the terrifying Council leader
I know that you are.”

“Pshaw.
I wish. Is there some sort of proper way to send off Council members, other
than flipping them the bird? Because, that is really all I want to do to them.”

“No,
just go stand out front as their cars leave. That’s what Isadora always did.
Oh, and look bored. That always seems to annoy them.” Kennan moved toward the
door and opened it, waiting for me to pass.

As
I entered the hall, I was immediately flanked by Conall and Kennan. We moved
through the halls quietly as people paused to bow their heads in my direction.
I nodded back to each of them, knowing that I would never truly get used to
this sort of attention. I felt like a fraud. As we reached the front of the
house, Kennan and Conall fell behind me, allowing me to exit in front of them.

“We
bid you farewell,"  Brutus shouted. I needed to find out
screamy-pants’ name.

“May
God bless your journey. I expect to hear from you soon regarding the darkness.
Until then, be well.” The words poured from my mouth without thought. It was as
though I was channeling Isadora.

“And
you, milady," Damali said through clenched teeth.

With
that, the four Council members piled into two black sedans and were off. I
wasn’t sure if I would hear from them or not, but their absence was a relief.
The breath returned to my lungs, and the weight lifted from my shoulders.
Shaking off the oppression their presence brought with them, I reveled in the
fact that I would no longer have to hide what was happening to me. Other than
the contacts, I was free. Well, maybe the sparky thing would have to be hidden.
I should really talk to Aberto about that one.

“What
is on the agenda for the rest of the day, Milady?” Conall asked, never looking
away from the departing cars.

“A
nap. Some food. Maybe a little research?” I swayed on my feet slightly, only to
be caught by Kennan.

The
runes were still taking a heavy toll on me, even with the extra protection that
Aberto had applied. I felt tired all of the time, yet I was terrified to go
into the dreaming for fear of being marked more. I wasn’t sure how much more I
could take before I ended up like Cait, Conall’s would’ve-been Seer. The memory
of her approaching that monstrous beast skirted through my mind, before
disappearing.

“I
need to lie down.” My voice came out a mere whimper. I had to maintain a strong
façade for the Council members, but now that they were gone, I felt the toll
the strain had taken.

“Let’s
get you to bed.” Kennan reached around my side to support the majority of my
weight as we moved inside the house and up toward our room.

Chapter
Five

My
feet were lead bricks dragging beneath me as I sluggishly made my way to our
room. Exhaustion pulled at me, beckoning with the promise of peaceful rest that
I knew was a mere tease.  I really wanted to get this whole prophecy thing
over with. Maybe in death I would find some rest. Perhaps that was a bit too
melodramatic, but at this point, death was definitely starting to have an
upside.

“Do
you need help getting your contacts out?” Kennan shut the door, pulling me from
my dour thoughts.

“Yuck!
I don’t want your fingers in my eyes.” The very thought of it caused my stomach
to churn. “I think I have enough energy to handle it. But if you could undo my
zipper, that would be awesome.” I turned my back towards Kennan. As his hand
brushed down my spine, trailing the zipper with it, chills rushed through my
body. His lips brushed my neck and traced the line my zipper had just made,
causing my toes to curl.

“Kennan,
I don’t think I can right now. I am so….” I collapsed to the floor leaving the
words unspoken. Consciousness had once more eluded me, a circumstance that was
unfortunately occurring more and more frequently. Perhaps the runes were to
blame, or maybe my body couldn’t cope with Aberto’s soul residing inside of me,
either way, it was annoying. Nothing like a narcoleptic leader to save the day.

Awesome,
I was once more in the dreaming. How I’d arrived there was beyond me
considering that I’d been doing my durndest to avoid the place. Staring out
into the fog, I knew. The menace that lurked within the dark shadows was
growing. The darkness beckoned, whispering promises of pain, of unimaginable
torments. Shivers travelled down my spine.

I
looked around, half searching for Ren’s spirit. I’d grown so used to her
company in the dreaming, no matter how unpleasant, it seemed strange to no
longer see her here. Though I wouldn’t wish an eternity in the dreaming on
anyone, I selfishly missed the companionship.

I
moved through the fog with no real purpose. I’d been pulled into the dreaming
for a reason, eventually it would show itself. Here’s hoping it wasn’t for
another rune attack. Yep, that’s what I’d dubbed them, much to everyone’s
chagrin. Rune attack sort of sounded like it should be a punk rock band. Maybe
I could get some Guardians together and form one. I moved along, with my
ridiculous train of thought for company, for a small eternity. What came before
my eyes pulled me to a stop.

I
was looking out at myself, a mere image of my childhood form. It was almost
transparent, but I was there. I was huddled in a ball crying out for the
nightmare to end. I could remember this, I didn’t know how, because I thought
I’d never been in the dreaming until last year. I was a child, I shouldn’t have
been here. How could I have forgotten this? I moved toward myself, but as I
drew near, another figure appeared causing me to draw in a sharp breath.

Aberto
moved towards the weeping child and bent before her, me, whatever. I was
starting to get really confused. I moved closer to hear what he was saying. I
drew as close as I dared, which seemed to draw his attention. He began to turn and
look in my direction, as if he knew that I would someday be there, seeing this
exact event. But just as he began to shift, he turned his attention back to the
child version of myself. I moved closer carefully; I needed to know what was
happening.

“Izzy,
please look at me,"  Aberto pleaded softly.

“Where
am I? I want to go home," my child-self cried out.

“You
are safe. I will always protect you, no matter where you are.” Aberto smoothed
the little girl’s silken, red hair from her face.

“Who
are you?” the child asked.

“Someone
from your future. Someone you will someday meet. For now, I am the Guardian of
your dreams. I am here to protect you from these memories until you are ready.
You won’t remember any of this when you wake up. You will only remember the
sweet dreams that follow. Now take a deep breath and think of the most lovely
thing you can imagine.” Aberto’s voice was gentle as he spoke to the child. He
continued to smooth her hair away from her face as he whispered words to send
her out of the dreaming and into a restful sleep.

As
the image of the girl disappeared, Aberto stood and looked straight into my
eyes. I knew then, like I had always somehow known, he’d always been there. But
why? What was I to him? As I began to ask him, he reached an arm out pushing a
wave from his fingertips that thrust me from the dreaming.

Gasping
for breath, I struggled to orient myself. The force of being shoved from the
dreaming, along with the implications of what I’d just witnessed, overwhelmed
me. My mind began to shift, making space for the memories long forgotten. What
else had been taken from me? Were there more memories? Tears streamed down my
cheeks as I tried to draw myself back to the present. I was bone achingly
tired, yet I didn’t want to fall asleep again. I wasn’t sure what else might be
waiting for me.

“You
okay, Iz?” Kennan moved towards me, concern radiating from his body.

“Yeah,
just a weird dream, I think. I mean, it must’ve been a dream, because it wouldn’t
make sense otherwise. I’m just really tired. Can you whammy my brain? I need to
sleep for a while.” I took in the sight of my Guardian, tall and strong,
everything that had brought me comfort through the past year of upheaval. He’d
been my rock for so long, I wondered how he could stand it. Just the thought of
having to leave him tore me apart inside. I choked back on the tears that
threatened to burst forth. For the zillionth time, I wondered if I were truly
strong enough to survive what was coming, or if I would be strong enough to do
what needed to be done.

“Hey,
Red. Look at me.” Kennan sank to the bed reaching out for me in the process. My
body curled into his, seeking out his heat, searching for the refuge that had
been there all along. I couldn’t look him in the eyes, he would know everything
just with one glance. “Izzy, look at me.” 

I
turned my face toward his as the tears came unbidden. There was no stopping
them, there was no hiding my fear. I wasn’t strong enough for this. These runes
were slowly killing me, and I could feel it with every breath I took. I wanted
to end it all, the darkness, the pain, the suffering, it all had to stop.

“Izzy,
what is it? Talk to me, please," Kennan pleaded.

“I’m
not strong enough. I can’t do it. I can’t be the person everyone needs me to
be. I could barely hold myself together today, and then I got angry and
lightning bolts shot from my fingers. I’m so tired, Kennan. I just want to
sleep, but I am too afraid to even do that. I don’t know if I can fix this
mess, this darkness that seems to be looming, but never clear.” I choked back a
sob as the words poured from my mouth. Every fear I’d been repressing for the
past two months came rushing to the surface at once.

“Izzy,
you are the strongest person I’ve ever known. And you aren’t alone, this isn’t
just on you. You have Ian, Molly, Conall, and me. The Division will also be
there to back you up.” Kennan paused for a moment as if he didn’t want to utter
the next words. “And you have Aberto. He’s already shown that he will do
whatever it takes to protect you. This is not your burden to bear alone, Izzy.
Give me some of the weight, or it may just crush you. I know things haven’t
been easy with us the past few weeks. I haven’t been there for you the way that
you needed me to be. I’m sorry for that. I truly am. I don’t think I realized
just how much these changes were affecting you until now. You always seem to be
so in control of everything, like you don’t need anyone else in the entire
world.”

“You
should know better than anyone that it is a façade, Kennan. I’ve been trying to
fake it until I make it since we got here. Not a day passes that I don’t feel
completely freaked out by everything going on. The darkness coming, the changes
that don’t seem like they are going to stop any time soon, not to mention the
whole leader of the Council bit, I’m a hot mess right now. I just wish there
was some sort of clear outline of what I’m supposed to do. The not knowing is
the worst.”

“You’re
always a hot mess, Iz," Kennan snickered, pulling me from my pity party.