See (6 page)

“
How can you take it away – how do you?” I asked timidly as I tried to look calm.

He raised his right hand to my eye and gently caressed my lashes closed, then whispered, “Change your perspective – you have sympathy when you should have disgust.”

He lowered his hand, and I opened my eyes slowly. “I don’t have either of those emotions…I just want to ignore it.”

A grin spread across his face, and all of the anger he had before seemed to fade. “That works, too.” His eyes slowly searched my face. “You have to be the most breathtakingly beautiful… mysterious girl I have ever met.” His eyes glanced at the space around me. For a second, I thought someone had come to look for me, but then his eyes fell into mine again. “I don’t know what’s more intriguing to me – this shield you have around you, or the undeniable power of your soul.”

I smirked at his comment. “The power of my soul – that’s a little deeper than what most guys would say,” I said, raising my eyebrows as I removed his hands from my hips.

“
I’m not most guys. I doubt anyone sees you the way I do,” he said, holding a serious gaze.

“
And how is that?” I said, trying to hold a distant approach to his words – trying to fight my swarming emotions – the ones that were telling me that if I could save him, I could protect something so much more precious…I just didn’t know what that was.

“
You’re everything,” he whispered.

He slowly began to lean into me. I felt my heart race and my ears start to burn. I didn’t want to kiss him…it felt like it would be betrayal - one that I could never recover from.

I looked into his eyes, but they were not looking at me; they were carefully studying my lips. I closed my eyes, wishing for a way out of this. I felt the heat of his lips near mine. My heart was beating so loud, I barely heard the sound of my name. I stepped back, finding myself against the lockers.

“
Charlie?!” Kara said.

It sounded like she screamed, but it was more like a harsh whisper. I stepped abruptly back from Britain and looked to my right to see her coming down the hall, holding my gown. I looked back up at Britain only to find him grinning and shaking his head. “It’s uncanny how she always knows when to show up,” he whispered.

“
That’s my sister,” I said as I let out a grateful sigh; if it were my mom, I’d be dead by now.

“
Really? She doesn’t look like you,” he said, standing up a little straighter and looking curiously down at me.

I could see a betrayal in his eyes – he knew then that I’d hidden more than I’d ever revealed to him. I was really good at avoiding conversations I didn’t want to have. I’m sure that’s what he meant when he referred to my shield. I also found it somewhat humorous what he said about my mom always showing up at the wrong moment. From my vague memories, I could recall that when Britain did manage to create a moment that I didn’t have the courage to refuse, my mom either came home or called at that instant…I felt the emotion of gratitude and relief consume me as I watched Kara come closer to us.

“
I’m coming,” I said to Kara.

She was just a few feet away from us now.

“
We’ll go together,” she said, looking at Britain.

He reached his hand out to her. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Britain.”

“
I’m Kara… I wish I could say I’ve heard a lot about you,” Kara said, shaking his hand.

Britain grinned slightly. “I could say the same. At least I’m not the only one she keeps in the dark.”

“
Well, Charlie has always been one to keep her thoughts locked away,” Kara said, giving me an intense look.

“
We were just talking about that shield she has around her,” Britain said, looking intently down at me.

I ignored the invitation to explain why I never mentioned a sister and stepped forward. “Is mom looking for me?” I asked Kara.

“
She’s talking to your friend Bianca’s parents. It might be a good idea for you to say your goodbyes; we have a long drive.”

I felt my stomach tie itself in knots; I told Bianca I wanted a low profile, and what does she do? Let her parents near my mom.

Britain looked down at me and shook his head slightly. He knew I was mad at Bianca. He looked at my sister and said, “I feel like I’m in the dark…where’s our long drive to?”

I looked at Kara and pleaded with my eyes for her to be discreet. I didn’t want anyone to know where I was going – or for how long.

“
School is over…so is Charlie’s time in the city,” Kara said, looking at Britain. “Maybe once she’s feeling better and mom has some to time to get over the other night, I can get her phone back…she’ll call you if she wants to.”

Britain looked down at me. “You don’t have a phone anymore? Since when?”

“
Sometime Friday,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“
You haven’t listened to music since Friday?” he asked, surprised.

I shook my head no.

“
No wonder you’re so tense,” he said in a low tone. He then smiled at Kara and said, “I understand…her health is very important to me, too.”

Kara reached for my hand. “She’s getting better every second…it’s time to go home, Charlie.”

I took her hand. Kara looked over at Britain once more, then pulled me to walk away. I looked over my shoulder at him. “I’ll find you,” he whispered.

Hearing his words, Kara gripped my hand and pulled me to walk faster.

Chapter 3

Almost everyone had cleared out of the school; only a few people were posing for pictures now. I saw my mom, Bianca, and Bianca’s parents by the door.

As Kara and I walked closer, I tried to judge my mother’s composure. She wasn’t tense at all; in fact she looked very relaxed. She was smiling and nodding along with something Bianca’s father was saying. She even smiled at me as I walked up.

“
There she is,“ Bianca’s dad said.

This man towered over me. I was sure I had never even looked him in the eye. He just has a power that dominates off him. It was intimidating to be in his presence, to say the least. I had no idea how my mom mustered the courage to argue with him that night at the ER.

“
I wanted to get a picture of you and Bianca. She said you had left, but then luckily we found your mother waiting on you,” Mr. Nathenson said to me.

Bianca stepped forward and hooked her arm through mine. Kara stood by Bianca’s mom so she could take a picture, too.

“
Charlie, take your hood off,” Kara said to me.

“
No,” Bianca’s mother complained. “I love the hood; it wouldn’t be Charlie without it.”

I smiled through gritted teeth – I wanted to get away from them – to get my mom away from them. I was halfway hoping Britain would chose to follow us out – this desire to run was never a problem when he was close; that’s odd, considering he seems to bring that emotion out of everyone he’s around.

“
Sorry,” Bianca whispered behind her smile.

I rolled my eyes, knowing she wasn’t.

“
Perfect,” Mr. Nathenson said. “Well, I’m sure all of you are eager to get on your way. I’m disappointed that we won’t see Charlie this summer.”

I felt my stomach drop. I could only hope my mother hadn’t told them where I was going. As I looked back and forth between my mother and Mr. Nathenson, my heart started to race and my ears burned.

My mother nodded and looked at me as if to tell me to say my goodbyes. I looked at Bianca.

“
I’ll see you around,” I mumbled.

She smiled innocently. “In no time.”

The sick feeling in my stomach was so powerful, I had to tell myself to breath. I felt like the world was closing in around me – that my worst fears were about to come true. I just didn’t know what they were.

“
I’ll let you how that case works out,” Mr. Nathenson said to us as we walked away.

My mom looked back and smiled, then reached her arm around my shoulders.

“
What case?” I asked once we were far enough away not to be heard.

“
innocent..,” the shadows mocked.

My mom tightened her arm around me. “Apparently, Mr. Nathenson was concerned about the delivery boy that brought the food to your little party. So he asked his friend at the DA’s office to look into it, and now they’ve linked several cases matching deliveries and robberies. They even made a few arrests.”

I was very careful not to let the confusion I was feeling surface in my expression. Bianca had admitted to me that she had given me what she thought was valium – now they’re saying that her alibi was real? The whispers began to laugh. I didn’t understand. It was as if they were on Bianca’s side – it didn’t make any sense that they were always silent around her. I couldn’t shake the terrified emotion that was chasing me.

“
Did you tell them where I’m going? Do they know about Salem?” I asked in a low tone.

My mother looked down at me and squeezed my shoulder. “I didn’t tell them anything beyond that you were going home…if they figure it out, I’ll deal with it. You’re safe in Salem…do you understand me?”

I didn’t answer; I couldn’t through the fear I felt. I knew my mom was wrong, but I had no way to back up what I was feeling.

“
My car’s over here – ride with Kara; I have a few calls to make, and I don’t want you to be bored.”

I nodded slightly and walked in a daze at Kara’s side to her car.

“
Charlie…you’re going to be fine – trust us,” Kara said under her breath.

“
I don’t see it that way,” I mumbled.

She stopped behind her car and looked at me. “Why did you say that?” she asked.

I didn’t even try to hide my fear as I looked at her. “I feel it.”

“
See it, or feel it?” she asked.

“
If I could see it, I’d be able to tell you why – tell you that this is a bad idea.”

“
If you could see, you’d be running to Salem - not tucked away in a dark hallway with that boy.”

“
See? I think you’re taking my words too literally. I wasn’t tucked away. I was just talking to him.”

“
That’s not what it looked liked to me – mom is right: that boy thinks you’re with him, and I can only hope he’s wrong because if he’s not – you’re in more trouble than I thought.”

“
Sometimes our eyes lie, Kara – he’s not a bad guy – at least, I don’t think he is…if I figure him out, then I’ll be able to stop something.”

“
What?” she asked, clearly disappointed in me.

I didn’t understand her tone - she was acting like I was cheating on someone with Britain – and that was insane. Right now, he was the only guy I could clearly recall in my life. As I thought those words, I felt my heart break and a sick feeling consume me. I felt dizzy. I braced myself on the side of the car.

“
I don’t know,” I mumbled as I tried to find air.

“
Let’s go home,” she said as she hit the ‘Unlock’ button on her keys.

I got in, put my seatbelt on, and slouched in my seat. I couldn’t keep my legs still; I bounced them along with the rhythm of the song I was playing in my mind. Without even realizing it, my fingers started to move against the seat. I felt my breath start to come back to me. I was still anxious, but it was more about getting home as fast as I could – I felt like I had to get there before Bianca – but that didn’t make any sense…what would she want there?

Kara climbed in and glanced down at my fingers moving in random order against the seat. She smiled slightly and mumbled, “Already getting better.”

I pulled my fingers into a fist. I was starting to dread the idea of playing…of being really bad at it. I didn’t want to give my mother another reason to hate music. I figured if I didn’t mention music or the guitar, she’d forget about asking me to play.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I remembered her asking me to – the emotions and the flashes of memories that didn’t seem to belong to me. I unclenched my fingers and started to move them to the sound I was hearing again. I felt a calm come over me, and my breath was starting to come on its own again.

The whispers started to mock the sound I was pretending to create. I stopped the flow of my fingers again to hear them laugh at me. I shook my head and chose to ignore them. The more I focused on the song in my mind, the clearer the memories I had last night became. I could feel the vibration of each string – I could hear my fingers command a sound to life. It was an unexplainable feeling – it felt like I was trying to take control of a life that didn’t belong to me.

Once Kara got out of the parking lot, she pointed at the radio. “Go ahead, play your music – as loud as you want.”

I smiled and shook my head no. “I don’t listen to the radio.”

She turned the radio up anyway.

“
I don’t want you to be tense,” she said, shaking her head and mocking what Britain had said.

A few minutes later, she turned down the radio and glanced at me. “So…let’s talk about music…what’s your favorite song?”

“
The one I hear right now ,” I said, pointing to my head, “– is track 1 – I don’t know the name of the band.”

“
Track one on what?” she asked, prodding me to open up to her.