Seductive Wager (33 page)

“No, I can’t be sure of anything,” he returned noncommittally. “They never came close enough to see their flag, but they were too small and too few in number to pose a threat.” The captain attempted to apologize for upsetting Kate, but Brett changed the subject adroitly and saw to it that the conversation stayed on other topics for the rest of the evening.

But Kate didn’t forget. Brett might pooh-pooh the possibility they were being pursued by pirate ships, but she couldn’t. The idea she might be sold into a harem had taken a strong hold on her mind and she couldn’t shake it. It was still uppermost in her thoughts when she returned to her cabin. She sat down on the edge of the bed and lectured herself sternly, taking herself to task particularly for acting like the kind of silly, whining female she most deplored.
Nothing unusual has happened,
she told herself.
Everything lurid and frightening is only in your imagination. All that has actually taken place is that you and Brett have enjoyed an idyllic trip and have gotten along much better than you ever thought possible. So stop looking for trouble,
she added as a clincher.

Everything had turned out so well that she sometimes forgot to add “but I’ll leave him when I get back to England” to the end of her thoughts about the future. His thought fulness and attention still surprised her. She couldn’t understand why he had changed so much, but she reveled in it. He still forgot her presence at times and habitually threw commands at her as though she were a servant, but she had gradually become less sensitive to his rough manners and he had become less abrasive.

She found herself wishing this trip could go on forever. Once they landed, she would never again have him so completely to herself and she was afraid everything would change. He might not
want
to stay with her once other pressures and interests started to take up his time, and she couldn’t bear that. She didn’t really care about learning to use a pistol and she positively disliked the knife and sword, but she was so hopelessly in love with him she would have agreed to wear medieval armor and carry a lance if it would have kept him by her side.

She finished her preparations for bed and crawled between the sheets. Tonight, as on every night for several weeks past, she waited for him with pleasurable anticipation, wanting his fiery lovemaking and ready to respond with a heat of her own. Brett had brought her along carefully, slowly expanding her knowledge of the excitement physical love had to offer. For her, the trip had been one of constant surprise at the incredible pleasures to be found in the arms of the man she loved. Just thinking about him sent tiny tingles of excitement through her body, and she snuggled down a little further into the cool sheets.

Chapter 19

Brett was furious with the captain for mentioning the boats to Kate. He
hoped
they were merely fishing boats or a convoy of small cargo ships, but since every theory was only conjecture, it was pointless to say anything to her. Still, he couldn’t shake the gut feeling they constituted a danger. He had no real reason for his belief, but knew that it was unusual for fishing boats to work together for so long. The natives were well known for their constant bickering, and he couldn’t think of anything more certain to start them fighting than the division of a cargo.

The captain had not earned Brett’s respect. Maybe the last-minute change of plans hadn’t given the Foreign Office time to find anyone more competent—he was merely a pleasant man who told amusing stories—but Brett decided he would hire his own crew, one he felt he could depend on, if he chose to return to England by sea. True, no one had expected him to bring his wife on board and that had changed what he looked for in a crew, but then lots of things had happened recently he hadn’t expected.

He had entertained no thoughts of marriage when he met Kate, yet with every passing day she became more necessary to his comfort, and he no longer even considered the possibility of living without her. At first he had been so bowled over by her beauty, so caught up by the stormy passions she aroused in him every time he set eyes on her, he didn’t stop to ask himself what he was doing or why. Even now, after weeks of what could pass for quiet married life, his quickening pulses still tended to block out all thoughts of anything but the immediate present.

For the life of him he couldn’t figure out what it was Kate had in such abundance that every other female lacked. Never before had he confined himself to a single woman for very long, yet no matter how many hours he spent with Kate, he never grew bored with her company. He was teaching her to handle a man’s weapons because it amused him and because it was a useful skill to have, not because they had nothing else to do. He enjoyed each day’s practice and was filled with pride when she put a bullet through the center of the target without flinching at the loud report of the pistol. Yet if he roared with laughter when she berated herself mercilessly for a missed shot, she always took it in good part.

His respect for her was growing with each passing day. She had unsuspected reserves of strength. She had taken command during his illness with calm determination and cool-headed intelligence. She didn’t panic when she was frightened or didn’t understand things; she didn’t shrink from unpleasant tasks or offer excuses for failure. When she needed to know how to perform a task, she set out to master the required skills and didn’t forget anything of what she learned.

Even though he had decided to take her to Africa without consulting her wishes, knowing all the while she suffered from seasickness, she had settled into the routine of the ship easily and adjusted her life to fit his without a word of complaint. Her presence never seemed to cause extra work, but she would lend a hand when she could. She was friendly to a fault with the crew but never gave them reason to treat her with anything but the utmost respect.

Brett’s presence alone would have been enough to ensure her preferential treatment. He was a man who inspired other men with confidence in his leadership and a belief in his ability to handle difficult situations. But at the same time it was easy to believe there was a black streak in his character. It wasn’t something you could explain or even point to, but one look at those coal-black eyes flashing with anger and his bulging muscles taut with scarcely restrained fury and no one could doubt a demon lay just beneath the polished surface.

“The way you watch over your wife, one would think you’d kill anyone who touched her,” the captain had once remarked with a nervous laugh.

The pleasant smile had faded from Brett’s face and his tightened mouth betrayed just how little he liked the idea. His reply was a succinct “I would,” but the captain felt eternity lay in those words for anyone foolish enough to approach his divinely beautiful wife, and he changed the subject to something less likely to arouse the animosity of a man he didn’t entirely trust.

Brett entered the cabin on silent feet even though he knew Kate would be waiting for him. The room was in shadows and the light of the single lamp burning by the bedside seemed to flow toward Kate, framing her face against the darkness of the cabin like a Rembrandt painting. Brett was drawn irresistibly toward her, wondering all over again how anyone could be so lovely. He still found it hard to believe she was really his, that she wouldn’t suddenly vanish from the pillow without a trace.

He moved to the bed and sank down beside her. He liked to look at her at any time, but he particularly loved to see her as she was now, in the half light with her face framed by the gold of her cascading hair. His hand reached out and his fingers caressed her cheeks, marveling anew at the velvety softness of her skin. He looked deep into sea-blue eyes that gazed at him with a look of deep contentment and he felt himself falling further and further under their spell, almost suffocating in their enveloping depths. Then suddenly he was snatched from his reverie by an unexpected revelation that whiplashed his mind, ricocheted down his body, and landed in his stomach with the force of a hammer-blow: he was in love with this girl.

He was shocked and stunned to the very foundations of his being. Here, nestled within his arms, lay the only thing in the world that mattered to him. All the things that used to mean so much could never offer him half as much pleasure as one simple smile from this lovely, courageous, girl.

She looked at him as though she, too, had found the object of her dreams. If that could only be true, he reflected, but how could she love him after all that had passed between them? How could
any
woman love a man who had done only a tithe of what he had done to Kate? He felt a sick sensation in the pit of his, stomach, a feeling of hopeless despair. In that moment, he would have traded everything he owned for a chance to start over again. He had never tried to make himself acceptable to her, not even after they were married; he had run roughshod over her from the moment they met. If she hated him forever, he would only have himself to blame.

The sound of Kate’s voice penetrated the barricade of his unwelcome thoughts. She had been talking to him for some time, and he hadn’t heard a thing she had said until the word “love” erupted from her conversation to scatter his gloomy thoughts.

“What did you say?” he asked suddenly. “I didn’t catch the first part,” he confessed.

Kate laughed softly. “How like you not to pay the least attention when I’m talking. I should be used to it by now, but I hope you’ll want to hear what I have to say this time. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but I’ve never had the courage. I was afraid, I’m not entirely sure of what, but I guess I didn’t want to leave myself open to be hurt again. After my father and brother, I found it difficult to trust any man. I kept it to myself, not telling anyone, not even Valentine until after she guessed.”

“You were afraid of me?” he asked, surprised. “Why?”

“How can you ask me that?” she demanded, amused in spite of herself. “You were mean, rude, cruel, and I was sure I would hate you with my dying breath. For weeks I planned and plotted to get to London once you were well. I knew Martin had forced me on you, and I couldn’t believe you wouldn’t get rid of me as soon as you could. Gradually I realized I was less afraid of you than I was of the future without you. It was then I realized I didn’t want to escape, that I wanted to stay with you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t want me.”

Brett tried to speak, but Kate put her fingers over his lips.

“Let me finish. Since we’ve been on this ship there has been a difference in you, from the very first morning when I woke up with that awful hangover. You’ve made me feel wanted, important, as though I were something valuable and precious in a way that had nothing to do with my looks or whether I could hit those stupid targets. I felt it was
me
you cared about, and I just wanted to curl up in the crook of your arm and never leave. Most important, I wasn’t afraid of you any longer.

“I don’t know what the future holds for us, or if we have a future—I have a great fear it won’t be what I want it to be—but these have been the most wonderful days of my life. I never dreamed I could be so happy.”

Brett held tightly to Kate and buried his face in her hair. For the first time in his life, he was content to be near a woman without devouring her like a raging fire consuming dry tinder. He tried to speak, but he had trouble swallowing and his throat wouldn’t let the words out.

“Our idyll is about to come to an end,” Kate continued. The captain told me this would be our last night at sea. Once we land, all manner of things will intrude, and we’ll never be together like this again, just the two of us, without anyone or anything from the outside world to come between us. This could even be our last night together for a long time so there’s something I want to tell you, something I
must
tell you.

“I love you. I have loved you ever since you were so sick, probably even before that. It doesn’t matter when it started, just that it did.” His grip on her tightened until it hurt. “I hadn’t meant to tell you this. I was going to keep it to myself and then disappear to a little cottage where I could hide from you and the rest of the world, but I
had
to tell you. I hope it doesn’t make you angry. I know I often put you into a towering rage, but I promise I won’t say anything about it again.” She took his face in her hands and looked into the depths of the black pools that were his eyes. “I love you with all my
heart,”
she whispered. “And I will always love you as long as I live.” She kissed him lightly on the lips with a tenderness he found more overpowering than the fierceness of her passion.

Brett gently forced Kate to lie back on her pillow. He propped himself up on one elbow and with his other arm steadied himself across her body. He looked at her lovingly and then kissed her very tenderly. Their lips clung to each other in a long embrace that lacked the fire of their other kisses but promised instead a warmth and permanence that no passage of time could diminish.

“I love you, too,” he said, tearing himself from her warm embrace. “I didn’t know it until tonight when I looked at you lying on the pillow with your hair all around you and your eyes staring so steadfastly into mine. At last I understood why I have been so determined to hold on to you from the very first. I never did want to let you go. Even when I couldn’t think because my head ached from brandy or my brains were turned to mush by the coach ride, I rejected every plan that meant giving you up. Edward told me I fell in love with you at first sight. I begin to think he may have been right.”