Authors: Lynne St. James
Tags: #Rockers, #Romance, #Erotic, #contemporary, #New Age
“No they’re not.”
“Fuck. Don’t you care if every guy around is drooling over your body?”
“I think the question is why do you care?”
Fuck.
Good one, Blue. Why did I care?
Running my hands through my hair, I didn’t know how to answer. “Like I told you, as long as you’re with us, you’re fuckin’ mine and only mine. So no one else gets to touch you or drool over your tits. Good enough?”
She wanted to argue, it was obvious, but something stopped her. Without saying a word she turned and went back in the bedroom.
I’m fucking losing my mind. Chaos is right, I need some distance. Fuck. Standing on the balcony I lit a cigarette and took a long drag. The smoke filled my lungs and calmed me down. Yeah I knew it was bad for me, but I didn’t do drugs, I drank and smoked, maybe I’d quit someday, but not now. Not on the tour, the guys would end up having to kill me.
I heard her behind me and I turned expecting another fight, but instead she was wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of old torn jeans. If it weren’t for the bright blue hair she’d look more like a college student than a groupie. She’d even toned down the make-up. She probably wouldn’t believe me but she looked fucking amazing. So much better than the overdone, tons of make-up and clothes too tight look she usually had.
She didn’t say a word, just stood there looking at me. Waiting for me to say something I guess. “Much fucking better. I didn’t know you had clothes like that.”
“Yeah, well I don’t wear the other shit all the time you know, but I thought you liked it. It was for you. It’s what all the other girls were wearing.”
“Fuck that shit. The other girls aren’t here with me. This is a way better look. Hell, if we have time maybe we’ll do a little shopping in Nashville, get you some stuff.”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“We’ll see.” Stubbing out my cigarette, I took her arm and we headed downstairs. It was official, I’d lost my fucking mind. I still didn’t know a thing about her except she had a weird mother and I wanted to take her clothes shopping? Shit.
Chapter Nine
Sapphire…
I didn’t know whether to be pissed or cry. Hearing him talking on the phone about ‘the groupie’, I knew it had to be me. He told whoever he was talking to that I wasn’t his and then hangs up and bitches about my clothes and how no one else is supposed to look at me or touch me? What the hell?
Changing clothes was probably a bad idea. I looked too ‘normal’ now. Less make-up and regular clothing, there was more of a chance he or one of the other guys would recognize me. At least while he was on the phone I had a chance to check mine. Sure enough there was a message from Roy. He wanted info, a rough outline of what I’d be writing. I wasn’t ready yet, but I’d have to tell him something.
My contemplation stopped when the elevator doors opened. I didn’t even remember the lobby I’d been so out of it last night, but it was beautiful and packed with screaming girls. Somehow it must have leaked out about the band staying here.
“Fuck. C’mon, Blue. The restaurant’s to the left. I don’t want to deal with this chaos right now.”
I giggled and he looked at me. “What? You’re freakin’ Raining Chaos and you don’t want to deal with it?”
He snorted. “Yeah, well when you fuckin’ say it that way. Still, I need more coffee and food before I can handle a bunch of screaming women.” Practically dragging me to the restaurant I was thrilled to slow down, but my happiness disappeared as soon as I saw the faces of everyone at the table. I slowed down even more and Wrath must have felt the tug in his hand because he stopped and looked at me.
“What’s the matter now?”
“I don’t think everyone else wants me here.”
“Bull shit, Chaos invited you.”
“Yeah? Well take a look over there.”
Wrath glanced over and laughed. “There’s nothing wrong. They’re just shocked at how you look.”
“What?”
“Well, you don’t look like a fucking skank now. They probably wouldn’t recognize you if it weren’t for the blue hair. C’mon. I’m fuckin’ starving.”
I wasn’t buying his explanation but once we were at the table it seemed like he was right. Everyone was normal, and Joe went out of his way to be extra nice. Asking how I was doing and giving me an update on my car.
“It was the starter. The mechanic left me a voicemail this morning. I told him to go ahead and fix it, no big deal.”
“Whoa, it is to me. How much is it going to cost?” I didn’t have a ton of money with me and no credit cards at all. I couldn’t afford to have much with my real name on it.
“I took care of it, or actually Wrath did. He told me to go ahead and fix whatever it was.”
I glanced at Wrath who was stuffing his face with pancakes loaded with syrup and arguing with Flame over something. He was so confusing. Sometimes he seemed like such a sweetie and then he turned into a jealous monster. I didn’t now a ton about men, but he was definitely way over the top.
“How much was it, Joe? I’ll want to pay him back when I can.”
“You’ll have to ask him. I promised I wouldn’t tell you,” Joe said as he patted my hand. He was like a big teddy bear and daddy figure all in one. At least that’s what I’d always hoped a real father would be like. I never knew mine. Mom didn’t know who he was. She got pregnant in a tent camping out on the road. A true “Dead Head”, she even had a framed picture of Jerry Garcia’s autograph on her boobs. Try explaining that to your friends when they visited.
“Great. Thanks though.”
“No problem.” He smiled. “Oh, one other thing, we need your address so we can have the car towed back.”
I heard his words and I knew the color drained from my face. I had to take slow breaths to make sure I didn’t toss my cookies at the table. Shit, fuck, damn. I’d be busted for sure now. How could I tell him my address, he’d know who I was, and if he didn’t, Wrath sure would. He’d recognize the address and my cover, my job, and our relationship or whatever we had would be over.
Think, Teresa, think fast. You need to tell him something
.
I put a piece of French toast covered with maple syrup in my mouth and forced myself to chew and not gag. I could come up with something, but what? He was watching me, and there was something different about the look. He didn’t look all kind and concerned, no he was suspicious.
Gee, T, why the hell wouldn’t he
be?
He asked for your address, it’s not a hard question—well not for most people.
I’d just have to avoid it. There was nothing else to do. “Nah, you don’t need to go through all of that, I can pick it up on my way back home.”
“Why would you want to do that and how will you get back to Virginia? It’s your only means of transportation, right? Wrath said it’s your mother’s car anyway. Don’t you think she’ll need it?”
“Um, well yeah, maybe. I’ll give her a call later and check.”
“Sure. Just let me know. I don’t want to leave it with the mechanic and let it incur storage fees.”
Shit, one more thing I hadn’t thought about. I should have known anything sounding this easy wouldn’t be. Hell, I was here under false pretenses, it rubbed me wrong telling one lie after another. They were bound to catch up to me. I guess Mom was right. Damn she’s going to love hearing that.
“Yeah, no problem. Excuse me though, I need to go to the ladies’ room.” I pushed back from the table and practically ran. I hoped I made it there before I totally embarrassed myself by tossing my cookies in the middle of the dining room.
Finally there was nothing left to puke. I leaned against the cold metal of the stall door. Was there anything more humiliating than puking? I hated it, so out of control, so disgusting. My mouth tasted gross and I felt all sweaty. Nerves always did this to me. I’d gotten better, but ever since I was little, if I got too excited or upset everything came back up. Gross is what it is. Thank God it didn’t happen as often anymore.
I heard the door open and was thankful I was at least done. I opened the stall door and went to the sink to rinse out my mouth and wash my face before I saw Cynda.
“Are you okay?”
“Umm yeah. For the most part. Why?”
“Joe said you looked sick and since I was the only who could come in here, they sent me. You’re lucky though, Wrath was ready to come in.”
“Thank God he didn’t. Man that would have sucked.”
Cynda nodded, and handed me a paper towel. “Are you really okay? Do you have the flu or something?”
“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes when I get too tired. I’ll be great now.”
She didn’t look like she believed me, and I could tell she definitely wanted to say something more, but she remained quiet while I finished washing up. Whatever make-up I’d had left I’d had to wash off—it was that or go out looking like a zombie with black mascara running down my face. Just lovely.
“You know, if you need someone to talk to I’d be happy to listen. Wrath is really cool but he’s a guy.”
“Yeah I did notice that. Thank you, but I’m sure you’d rather not hang with a skank like me. I know that’s what you all think of me.”
“Actually we don’t. You’re not like most of them. There’s something different about you, less skanky.” She laughed and it was contagious. Less skanky? Too funny.
“Thanks, I think.”
“Sure. C’mon, let’s go face the music. I’m sure Wrath is waiting outside all freaked out.”
“Damn these men are something else.”
“You ain’t shitting either,” she answered.
She’d said it with a straight face but it was so funny we both cracked up again, until we opened the door and came face-to-face with a storm cloud, also known as Wrath.
*****
Wrath…
The door opened and Cynda appeared followed closely by Blue. Pale with damp hair and almost none of her make-up, dead giveaway that she’d been sick. What the fuck. Was she pregnant? If she was it wasn’t mine, I wrapped that fucker every freakin’ time. I was smart enough to at least cover my ass.
“What the fuck is wrong? Joe said you didn’t look too good and I saw you practically running to the bathroom.”
“I’m not sure. Something didn’t agree with me, but I’m better now. No need to worry.”
She wasn’t telling me something. I knew it, and she knew I knew it. I wanted to press her about it but the middle of the dining room with everyone watching was not the place, and we needed to do the sound check. It’d have to wait until after the show, there just wasn’t time now. Fuck.
“Maybe you should stay behind while we do the sound check. I’ll be back in a couple of hours and you can rest.”
“If you’re sure it’s okay.”
“Fuck yeah. Cynda, are you going or staying here?”
“I’m staying. I can look in on her if you want?”
Perfect. If she was up to something she wouldn’t know when Cynda was gonna show up. How much trouble could she get in to? “Yeah I’d appreciate it.”
“No problem. I’ll see you later, Sapphire. If you need anything I’m in room ten thirty-two.”
I watched Blue’s face and she just looked tired. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe she really was just a groupie, just not the normal kind. It was possible. Fuck me running. Hopefully Joe would have some info soon and I can stop worrying about this bullshit. I didn’t like not knowing whether she was trouble or not. Actually she was trouble—for my rules. I’d broken a lot of them since she showed up in Philly.
The elevator ride was quiet and she really didn’t look good. I wanted to take her in my arms but I couldn’t do it. There were just too many freakin’ doubts. When we got to the room she went out on the balcony and stared into the distance. What the fuck was going on? She’d been fine, well at least her normal self until the phone call before we went downstairs. Had I hurt her feelings? Is that what the fuck this was about? Or was it something else?
I didn’t have the time or the patience for this shit. “Hey, Blue, I need to get the fuck out of here. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” At first I didn’t think she was going to answer. I was going to give her another few seconds when she turned.
“I’ll be fine, besides you’re having Cynda check up on me.”
“Not check
up
. Check on you. There’s a difference.”
“Is there?”
Damn. I’d be lucky if I had any hair left at the end of this tour. She knew exactly how to piss me the fuck off. “Whatever. See you in a few hours.”
“Yup. I’ll be here.”
I didn’t know what to say, her attitude was fucked up. I hadn’t done anything to her. Hell, I’d been taking care of her. I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but I’d regret it later, so I left slamming the door behind me.
Chapter Ten
Wrath…
Everyone else was already downstairs. Sweets and Candy were outside smoking. I needed a smoke too but that wasn’t going to happen right now. I knew they’d been waiting for me. We had a schedule to keep. This was our life, our love, and our future. Nothing else really mattered but the band and I needed to remember that.
“Everything okay?”
“I guess, I don’t know. She’s all fucking weird now.”
“Why?”
“Beats the fuck out of me. I’m guessing she heard part of our call this morning. I did say she wasn’t my groupie.”
Chaos nodded. “Oh well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. It’s not like you’re in love with her. You can always leave her here when we head to Chicago, right?”
“Yeah.”
Fury laughed. “Right. Sure you will. You’ve got it bad for her.” He shook his head and looked pitiful. “You’re fuckin’ whipped, bro. She’s got your insides all fuckin’ twisted.”
“If you don’t shut up, I’ll show you who’s fuckin’ whipped.” I didn’t want to hear it. Yeah, I deserved the teasing and I’d be the first one on board if it was one of them, but this was different. Fuck.
Joe was waiting for us outside the Bridgestone Arena with a huge smile on his face. It was nice to see someone fuckin’ happy. He showed us around the arena then took us to the suite we’d use for our dressing room and after-show party. It was pretty impressive, although not the Garden. Still I wasn’t jaded enough to think it wasn’t fuckin’ awesome.