Seducing Wrath (14 page)

I couldn’t hold back the tears now. My worst nightmare was coming true. “But they’ll hate me.”

“Don’t you think you deserve it?”

Sniffling, I nodded. Of course I deserved it. I’d made my bed, as my mom used to say, now I had to lie in it. “What if Wrath wakes up while I’m up there.”

“I doubt it, not with the amount of scotch he put away at the party. He’ll sleep until noon easy. Now hurry, we’ll talk more after you have your stuff.”

I nodded and, putting my phone in my pocket, took the elevator to the suite. Sure enough, as Joe had said, Wrath was still out cold, even snoring softly. I wanted to wake him up and say goodbye, to kiss him, to tell him I was sorry and I loved him. But I did none of those things. Instead I grabbed my duffel bag and purse, throwing in all my clothing and supplies. Tears ran down my cheeks unchecked and I could barely breathe. It had to be the worst moment of my life and it was my own fault.

After a last look to make sure I didn’t forget anything, I saw the new clothes in the living room. They were beautiful and it had been amazing of him to buy them for me, but I was leaving them here, I didn’t deserve them. He could give them to his next groupie.

Just thinking about him being with someone else turned up the faucet of my tears. If I’d been
Alice in Wonderland
we’d have all floated away. My heart was broken, and the pain made it difficult to breathe.

Joe met me in the lobby and handed me some tissues. He explained as long as nothing else about the band showed up on the Twitter account he could trace back to me, he wouldn’t tell them who I really was. I’d just be Sapphire forever to them.

“Go back home, and this time look for a real job. This is the twenty-first century, look on Monster or somewhere like it for a job. You should know better. By the way, I spoke to your mother, she’s a lovely woman, and she will be meeting you at the airport. I arranged for a car to take her there to pick you up. I figured you’d need her support.”

He was being beyond nice. I’d never be able to thank him. By him not telling the band my real name he was leaving me with hope, not much but something. “Thank you, Mr. Martini. I really am sorry.”

“I know you are, but don’t thank me yet. There is always the chance this Roy guy isn’t done with you either. You have my cell number, if something happens, you contact me first, okay?”

“Yes, sir, I will.”

“Good. Now take care of yourself and don’t miss your flight. I don’t want to see you anywhere near the band as long as you’re Sapphire.”

I nodded. There was nothing else to say. I went outside and got into the taxicab. I looked back at the hotel as we pulled away and I saw Wrath running out the front doors calling after me.

To say I cried boatloads of tears would be an understatement, the people on the plane ignored me, probably worrying I’d want to share whatever horrible thing had happened to me. It was fine. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Well except Mom. When I saw her waiting for me, I ran into her arms and held on as tightly as I could. We didn’t talk the entire drive home but she held my hand and when the tears started again she’d passed me a box of tissues.

I knew she was trying hard not to say I told you so, and I appreciated she held back. There’d be time for it later, hopefully after the tears dried up.

Chapter Twenty

Wrath…

The sound of the suite door shutting must have woken me up. Running my hands through my hair, I realized Sapphire wasn’t in bed. “Blue?”

Nothing, no response, the suite was totally quiet. Getting out of bed I checked the bathroom then the closet, her duffel was gone. What the fuck? I ran into the living room and the new clothes were all still there including what she’d worn last night. It looked like she took off, but why? This made no fuckin’ sense.

Pulling on a pair of jeans and a shirt, I grabbed the elevator and ran into the lobby in time to see her step into a cab and pull away from the curb. I ran outside yelling her name but nothing. What the hell had happened? We’d been in bed just a couple of hours ago making love. I knew I should have told her how I felt. Maybe she wouldn’t have left.

“There’s nothing you could have done.”

Hearing Joe’s voice, I turned as he approached. “What do you mean?”

“I sent her away.”

“Why?”

“Because I got the proof we needed—she was the leak. I had to make sure there wouldn’t be any more.”

Feeling like I was kicked in the chest, I couldn’t catch my breath. I wanted to puke. How could she have done it? Fuck, I’d known there’d been a chance but fuck me running. I wanted to punch something, someone, do something. I had so much anger inside right now I was afraid I’d hurt someone.

“I’m sorry. I know you were starting to care for her. For what it’s worth, I think she cared about you too.”

“The fucking lying bitch cared about something? I doubt it. She played me, used us all. Good riddance. She’d better hope I never see her again.”

Joe put his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

“Chris…”

“What?” I growled, looking at him. He had a weird expression on his face, like he was sad. Of course he was, he was a fuckin’ nice guy, and she’d used him too. What a fuckin' ass I am. Pussy whipped…well it wasn’t going to happen again, ever. No fucking way.

“You need to calm down.”

“Calm down? I’m fine. No fuckin' worries here. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Joe nodded. I headed back upstairs and slammed into the suite. Grabbing every bottle of scotch in the mini-bar I took them and my cigarettes and got fucking toasted on the balcony.

Finishing the fourth or maybe it was the fifth bottle of scotch didn’t stop the pain in my fucking chest. Love. Fuck that shit. I should be fucking committed. What the fuck was I thinking getting involved with anyone, let alone her? I knew better. Fuck. All the warning signs went off from the beginning. No one should have been able to get to me so easily. Opening another bottle I chugged it down. The burn as it ran down my throat eased some of the pain but not enough, would there even be enough alcohol to make it go away?

I’m not sure if I dozed off or what, but I heard banging on the door. Fuck it. “Go away,” I yelled from the balcony, but the pounding continued. Fuck, really? Who the hell has the cast iron balls to fucking bother me now? Fucking cocksuckers. I’m going to kick their asses if they didn’t stop the fucking pounding.

Stumbling to the door, I pulled it open ready to yell at whoever had bothered me but it was Joe and Chaos. Damn, I couldn’t kick their asses. That wouldn’t be cool. Sighing, I turned and walked away from the open door.

Tossing the clothing she’d left behind onto the floor I dropped onto the couch. “What the fuck do you want? Can’t you see I’m trying to get my drunk on?”

Joe just shook his head but Chaos laughed. “Asshole you're so drunk you don’t even realizes you’re drunk. The hotel manager even got a call about scotch bottles raining down on the pool.

“What? I didn’t fro no fuckin' scotch bottles.”

“Uh huh. Anyway, we need to hit the road. We’re checking out and heading to Chicago. You can finish getting fucking toasted on the bus.”

“I don’t wanna go.”

“You don’t have a choice. This is our fuckin' job, remember? Don’t let some trampy skank ruin your dream.”

I don’t know what I was thinking, fuck, I wasn’t thinking at all, but when I heard him call Blue those names it pushed me over the edge. I pulled back and tried to deck him. I think I came close, or maybe not. Next thing I knew I was on the floor. “Don’t fuckin’ call her that.”

“Whatever. C’mon, we’ve got to get him to the bus. I’ll see if Cyn will pack up his shit.”

I vaguely remember them dragging me out to the bus, and dropping me into my cubby. Hours later I woke up in time to toss my stomach contents—at least ten mini-bottles of scotch—into the toilet. I wanted to die, but I’d felt like this before, I knew I’d get better. The ache in my heart that I wasn’t so sure about.

*****

Chicago was huge, like New York, and looking at it through drunken bloodshot eyes wasn’t much fun. I was thanking God we didn’t have a fuckin’ performance. It was just the travel day. Tomorrow we had the benefit for Breast Cancer Awareness. I hoped to hell I’d be fucking better by then. The last thing anyone needed was me fucking up on stage.

Sweets came to check on me after I got into the new hotel room. At least this time when I opened the door I wasn’t feeling violent, just like death warmed over.

“Hey, want to come out for some Chicago deep dish pizza? They’re famous for it.”

Ugh, just the thought made me want to hurl again. “Nope, I think I’ll pass. Maybe order something from room service. Thanks.”

“Do you want me to hang with you to make sure you’re okay?”

I hugged her. Since the episode with Cyn she’d been a lot less bitchy. Maybe she realized just how lucky we all were and she’d been on the verge of blowing it. “Thanks, you’re a doll, but I’ll be fine. No more drinking for me…no fuckin’ worries. I’m going to sleep it off.”

“Okay, if you say so.” She didn’t look convinced. “Call or text if you need anything.”

“I will. Have fun.”

The room was too quiet, and being alone with my thoughts and memories and had me wishing I could drink them into fuckin’ oblivion. I had to suck it up. She lied to me, who knows if anything she said was true, including the fucked up mother. I didn’t even know who she really was so how come it was hurting so friggin’ badly?

I ended up ordering some toast and tea. After it arrived I tried watching TV but I didn’t want to hear the bullshit news and I couldn’t find anything else to watch. I’d normally be hanging with Blue, or fucking her. I hadn’t needed to fill empty time in ages. I needed to talk to someone but who? Joe would be the sensible choice but I was pissed at him too. He sent her away and wouldn’t tell us anything about the ‘real’ her. He had to know more than he was saying.

Pulling out my cell I dialed a familiar number, though I hadn’t called it since we started the tour.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Sally, it’s Chris.”

“Chris, oh Jack, Chris is on the phone.”

Shaking my head I almost laughed. They hadn’t been young when they took us in, now they were closer in age to grandparents than parents.

“Hey, Chris. How’s the tour going?”

They were both talking at once and for the first time all day I smiled.

“We just got to Chicago actually. Everyone is out to dinner but I didn’t feel like going.”

“Are you sick, sweetheart?”

“No, Sally, don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“More like hung over—right, Chris?”

“Well maybe a little, Jack.”

I could see them now. Sally would be shaking her finger at Jack trying to get him to ease off me. It was always the same. They were amazing people to have put up with our shit all those years.

“Oh, sweetheart, did something happen?”

“Well kinda, sorta.”

“Uh sounds like a mother-son talk. I’ll leave you to it. Chris, whatever it is, it’ll be okay. Just remember we love you and we’re always here for you.”

“Thanks, Jack,” I answered but I wasn’t sure he heard me. It sounded like he’d disconnected before I answered.

“Okay, so tell me all about her.”

“How do you know it’s a her?”

“Because girls make men crazy, more than just about anything else besides money. So for you to be this drunk you must have it bad.”

I’d forgotten how smart she was. There was no pulling anything over on either of them when we were little. You’d think with seven of us living there it’d been easy, but nope.

“Okay, if you say so.”

“I do.”

“What’s her name?”

“Sapphire, but I called her Blue. She was beautiful. She didn’t think so but I did. Well, except for her bright blue hair, but it’s what got my attention in the beginning. She definitely played me right.”

“What do you mean played?”

“She is, was a groupie on the tour. I hooked up with her. Usually I don’t see them more than once, but I kept her with me the whole time since Philly.”

“Oh, I see. Were you careful at least? Protection I mean?”

I swear she was the only woman who could make me blush. “Yes, ma’am, well mostly. I might have forgotten once or twice with her.”

“Oh, dear. I hope it doesn’t cause you trouble later on.”

“Well I doubt it, she’s gone now. Joe sent her away and he won’t tell me her real name. Maybe he doesn’t even know. Damn.”

I heard her clear her throat on the other end and I realized I’d cussed. Fuck. That was a hard rule—no cussing in their house. “I’m sorry, Sally.”

“It’s okay this once. I know you’re upset, but you’re lucky Jack wasn’t still on the phone or he’d have given you an earful.”

She wasn’t kidding either. There weren’t a ton of rules growing up with them but you’d better not break any of the ones they did have. We’d all learned the hard way Joe didn’t mess around when it came to punishment. If I never had to peel potatoes again it would be too soon. Their standard punishment was a week doing KP duty at the Daily Bread food kitchen. A great cause but when we were in trouble, they’d give us the shittiest jobs.

“Thank you.”

“Okay, so your girl is gone and you’re miserable and you got drunk. But if Joe sent her home she must have done something wrong.”

“I don’t know if he sent her home, just away, and as far as wrong... She leaked some info to the press about us, or leaked it to someone. Just about Cynda and Chaos, their engagement and Preston being Cynda’s dad.”

“Oh yes, that made the paper here. I guess once it got out it went everywhere, what do they call it? Like wildfire.”

“I think you mean viral. And yeah it did, but only because of who we are now. I hope it didn’t cause trouble for you guys.”

“No, of course not. It’s all happy news. I’m looking forward…” She stopped midsentence when she started coughing. She wasn’t doing it when we’d seen her three weeks ago.

“Sally?”

“I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.” She coughed a bit more then I heard Jack giving her something to drink.