Seduced by the Gladiator (11 page)

“They all look like that in the beginning. You were better than most, but still nothing like you appear now. Slaves come from the pits, from the prisons. They are criminals and deserters. They are captured and sold, and then sold again. They have fleas, they sit in piss and shit. You must see their potential through all of this.” He looked down at me expectantly, and I felt my temper finally boil over. Was the point of this exercise to remind me where I came from, that I was no better than these filthy, naked slaves?

I set down the jug with a large clack and let the words rush from my mouth as sensation flooded back into my fingers.

“Have I become too proud, my dominus? Is this why you would bring me here?” The dominus looked startled at my question, but what else was I to think?

“Do not be difficult, Lilia.” Deftly stepping around the jug that sat on the ground, the dominus began to walk back the way that we had come, leaving me paces behind, blood roaring in my ears. I saw the expression on his face, and found that it was once more distorted with frustration and anxiety.

I wanted to yell. I did not, instead swallowing down the harsh words that I wished to spew forth.

“My apologies, Dominus.” Though I was tempted to leave it there, I once again hefted the jug in my arms and scurried after my master. “I do not mean to be difficult, but I truly do not understand your purpose in bringing me to the market today.”

The dominus paused in his steps, allowing me to catch up to him. He tried to tug the wine from my hands, but I shook my head and held tight.

“People will talk.” I felt that I had to point this out. Masters did not carry their own goods home from the market when they were in the company of a slave. It was simply not done.

He nodded, acquiescing. As we stood still at the end of the market, he looked at me, deep into my eyes, then around at our surroundings, rather as if he thought that someone might be watching us.

“I showed you that slave for a reason, Lilia.” We began again to walk. I was still confused.

“You knew that man would be for sale?” How would he have known that?

Frustrated, the dominus huffed out a breath and cast me a stern look. “No, Lilia, not that man in particular. However, there are always men like him for sale. Men like him, women like you. The fight in him is what set him apart from the others, and it is what I wanted you to see.” Again he looked around furtively, and I wondered who made him so nervous.

“I . . . I do not know what to say.” Why could he not speak plainly?

He heard the irritation in my voice, and rounded on me. I was surprised by the fierceness in his manner.

“I try to do you a favor, Lilia.” He nodded to emphasize his point. “I cannot tell you more, not yet, or be sure that I would. But you must remember what I showed you today. You . . . you will need it.” With a glare, he spun on his heel and continued up the road, his shoes disturbing the dust so that it danced around his ankles.

After a moment I paused, nerves washing over me like an icy rain. The dominus had traveled nearly all the way down the road before I gathered my wits and hurried after him.

I was favored in the household, true enough, but I was also a slave. The dominus did not need to warn me of anything, not even if he had knowledge that would save my life. What could he know that was so important he felt the need to warn me of its approach?

I thought of Christus, and of how shadows seemed to haunt him. Whatever it was that the dominus knew, I did not think that it boded well.

T
he trip into town with the dominus had left me uneasy, the feeling a faint but present aftertaste that clung to my mouth. I worked through the afternoon’s training with fierce focus, doing my best to put both Christus and the dominus’ warning out of my mind.

After training, I stayed on the sands, jesting with Darius. I made certain to appear unconcerned about events that had transpired in the ludus recently. As I stood with my tall friend, however, I noted that Bavarius still watched me with mocking on his face. I pretended that he did not exist.

I also noted that Christus hovered on the edge of the sand, his eyes never straying from my frame. I knew that he was waiting for me, was waiting for me to come to him.

Though I very much wanted to do just that, and though I had not been able to keep him from my thoughts all day, I stubbornly stayed behind. I did not wish to tell him of the day’s events, for he would worry.

I did not know why I cared so much about what the man said or did. I had allowed him access to my body once, and would not do so again. He meant nothing to me beyond that.

When I could delay it no further, I crossed the sand to the outer door of the chambers that I now shared with Christus. I knew that I would face an angry man inside.

Before I could think our actions through, Christus wrapped his arms around my waist and half carried, half dragged me across the room to the bed. When we reached the wall beside it, he pressed me up against it, and the chill of the stone against my back was a delicious contrast to the heat that pressed against my front.

My exclamation of surprise was muffled against his mouth, which devoured mine, hot and fast. After a second in which I pushed against him, startled, I returned the kiss as fervently as I received it.

In that moment, I didn’t know why I had ever felt unsure. I did not know why I protested so much to myself. This—Christus’ skin against mine—felt so right. I knew that I always felt the need to prove a point, but as soon as he touched me again, I could not think at all, not when his hips bucked against mine, causing his cock to rise and to thicken against the soft swell of my belly.

His tongue swept inside of my mouth, and at the same time he worked his hands between my back and the cool stone of the wall. Tracing fingers gently up my spine, he found the knot that held the band of leather up and worked it free.

I shivered when my breasts were kissed by the air, the leather pulled down around my waist.

Christus hissed in a breath at the sight. Small, they were pale and tipped with red, and he palmed one with something close to reverence.

My mouth watered. I wanted him to taste them.

Sliding his other hand from my back, around my hip, and up my abdomen, he cupped a breast in his right hand. He cursed when he discovered that he wasn’t touching skin—his hand had become caught in the thin cloth that had lined the leather, which had banded at my waist.

But when the covered hand brushed over the rigid tip of my nipple, I emitted a low moan from the back of my throat. Burying his face against the slender arch of my neck, he rubbed that nipple between his fingers, the touch buffered by the smoothness of the cloth.

I pressed my hips into his and wrapped my legs around his waist. Swallowing thickly, I wished to free the fastenings of his subligaculum, but did not wish to separate my hips from his for the time in which it would take to disrobe him.

I forgot all about my wish when he dipped his head and closed his mouth over both cloth and flesh.

I whimpered and bucked against him. He ground back, growling low in his throat, the sound swallowed by the soft pants of our breath.

The loud blast of a horn from out in the training yard stopped us both where we were. It was the signal our dominus used to gather all of his gladiators in the yard, below the balcony.

“Hurry up.” The voice of the dominus emanated through the thin wood of the door.

Christus and I blinked at each other, stunned. Before he could say or do anything, I pushed him away, sliding down the wall until my toes touched the floor.

What was I doing? Yes, the man offered me some protection, but to give your heart to another gladiator was foolishness. Either of us could be killed at any moment.

I fully intended that it would not be me. A romance between us—even just an affair—could not ever end well. There were too many politics involved in the running of a ludus, too many forces to be navigated to worry about more than oneself.

I could feel that my cheeks were nearly the same color of the fruit that I had craved the night before as I yanked the band of cloth and leather back up my torso, covering the breasts that Christus had just had his mouth on. My hands reached behind me to tie the knot, but my fingers were trembling in my haste, and I fumbled.

“Let me.” Christus’ own cheeks redder than they’d ever been, he reached out and deftly tied the knot. At the touch of his fingers on my smooth skin, I started and jerked away.

“Christus. I cannot. We cannot. This is madness.” From the yard, the horn sounded again, and seeing an opening, I fled for the door.

At the end of it all, we were both slaves. Nothing could be certain in our lives except for the fact that we would do anything we were told.

Anything at all.

M
ost often, when the dominus had an announcement to make, he stood on the balcony that overlooked the ludus, while we gladiators gathered beneath it. Today he had come right into the yard, walking slowly, not wanting the dust to stain the ornate toga that he had not worn earlier.

His face showed excitement, and perhaps I imagined it, but I thought that I saw a trace of distaste lying beneath it.

“Gather around, men.” The dominus lifted his arms up, urging us in. Sensing Christus’ presence directly behind me, I moved to the far side of the group, where Darius stood, his dark skin gleaming in the early evening sun. He patted me on the back firmly in greeting before his eyes darted across the way to Christus.

“What is happening?” I knew that my friend spoke not of the dominus’ announcement, but of me and Christus—he knew me far too well for me to be able to hide our involvement. I, however, had no interest whatsoever in talking about it, so I scowled and shook my head vehemently, gesturing instead to our owner.

“We have received exciting news today, men.” The dominus scanned the group of us, and I noticed that he did not meet my eyes—this was rare, as we all knew that I was his favorite.

Something heavy began to form in my stomach.

“Gaius, brother of the emperor, has announced that he intends to host the biggest arena games that Rome has ever seen.” A great roar rose up from the men, and I understood and shared in their feeling.

This was the life that we had been granted by the gods. All that we could do was make the most of it.

“Gaius has honored our ludus by issuing an invitation to participate.” Another cheer went around, and I took the momentary distraction to sneak a look at Christus, who still stood on the other side of the group.

His arms were folded across his chest. He did not look happy.

“Gaius himself will select those among you who are worthy of participating.” Here the cheers gave way to boasts. Who would be chosen? Who would deserve the honor, the potential riches to be gained?

My blood began to heat at the talk. Why was no one mentioning my name? If this announcement had been made only days earlier, my name would have been the one on everyone’s lips—Lilia the fiercest, Lilia the strong.

I knew that it was the appearance of Christus in the ludus that had diminished my importance. He had done nothing to bring this on, but the reality remained that he was stronger and far more dominant than I, a truth that had nothing to do with the fact that he was a man and I a woman.

My relationship with him was uncertain, and I knew that I needed to look out for myself. No matter my feelings for the man—and I had many, complex ones all—I knew then that I needed to participate in these games in order to restore my reputation.

A hand raised by the dominus commanded us all to cease our talk. His face was more serious than I had ever seen it.

“Be forewarned. If you are chosen, you will participate. This is your life, this is what you do. But these games are unlike any that I have ever heard of. Gaius is sparing no expense, and there are rumors of obstacles to be faced that you could not even dream of.”

I was strong. I could do it, whatever it was.

“Also . . . two men each from fifteen ludi will compete in one epic game. Only one will be permitted to survive.” I blinked, suddenly stunned, and from the drop in volume of the voices around me, I could tell that I was not the only one who was shocked.

Only one would be permitted to survive? If all of the best men from each of Rome’s ludi were selected to participate, then nearly all of the legends of the arena would fall to the sword of another.

The heat in my blood cooled rapidly, making me dizzy, and angry as well. Days earlier, even with the threat of probable death, I would have been eager to compete—would have expected to be chosen for a place in the
munera
—public events sponsored by the wealthy to appease the masses.

Now feelings that I could not quite identify worried at my insides. Perhaps I did not want to die in the arena, not in a bloodbath such as this one. Yet there was no point in thinking in such a fashion, for in the end I had no say in the matter.

Perhaps it was a happy occurrence that I was no longer seen as the strongest. But then . . .

I turned slowly, my eyes darting through the group to where Christus stood. If he was the strongest, the best, then he would be chosen.

He would be the one who would, in all likelihood, die.

The thought hit me like a fist in the face.

Christus looked no happier than I. I started to make my way toward him, finding at that moment that I did not care about much else. Dimly I was aware that the dominus had ended his speech and was answering questions from those who had them. The men were milling about, some with excitement, some with shock themselves.

I did not care, though I knew that I should have.

“Lilia.” Before I had moved more than two paces, the dominus was at my side. “Come.” Casting an anxious look back over my shoulder at Christus, I did as I was told, following the dominus away from the yard and down the corridor that led to the small room where the medic worked. The dominus sat at the absent medic’s desk and poured two cups full of wine from the ever-present jug, then offered one to me.