Secrets (The Forever series, Book 8) (9 page)

“It will be real in our world. The one I will create for
you, and that is just the start, Aefre. Anything and everything you ever
wanted, no matter how small or how big.”

“How can you do that? How can you have so much power that
you can create dream worlds and yet you can’t exist in the real one?” I ask.

“Dream worlds are easy. The real one takes effort,” he says
darkly.

“No shit,” I mumble. I turn back onto my side to stare at
him. “Remiel?”

“Yes, Aefre.”

“Why can’t you feed off live creatures?”

“Excuse me?” He turns onto his side as he frowns at me.

“Live creatures. People, Humans, Vampires, whatever. Why do
they have to be dead?”

“Why do you ask?” he queries.

“It’s a valid question, under the circumstances,” I say.

“Why are you so concerned? Do you want me to be real and
stay in this world?” he asks, and I can hear the hope in his voice. I reach out
to touch him automatically in comfort, forgetting about the barrier he keeps
around himself, but I actually touch him. He had dropped the forcefield and my
hand is resting on his chest.

“I just want to understand you. Understand what you are. Is
it possible? If you feed in the dreams why not right here, right now?” I don’t
really know why I want to know so badly, I just do.

“I told you, dreams are easy, guards are dropped, it is easy
to siphon off enough energy to maintain a creation. But it requires so much
more,” he admits.

“I am so much more,” I say and wonder vaguely why these
words are coming out of my mouth. “You are part Dragon, man, buck up. If I can
do it so can you.” I sit up and cross my legs, holding my hands out to him.

“Aefre, what are you doing?” he asks me seriously.

Good fucking question. What am I doing? Have I lost all of
my senses?

“Trying to understand you,” I say again.

“I don’t want to be understood,” he says huffily.

“I think you do. You are miserable and lonely and your need
for revenge isn’t even there anymore. What else is there, Remiel, than to try?”
I press.

“I don’t get you,” he says and sighs as he sits up. “You are
the most baffling creature I have ever come across and believe me I have seen
my fair share of puzzlers. Why would you do this after what I have put you
through?”

“Mean and confusing as that was,” I say and frown at him, “I
understand your need for payback, but you shouldn’t have taken it out on me. I
feel what happened to you was unjust. You couldn’t help who you were, that your
powers were stronger than everyone else’s and they felt threatened so they
executed you instead of helping you. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be born
under a cursed moon.”

“Hmm, how do you know I didn’t deserve it? I have hardly
told you anything about myself, girl. Maybe I was a monster who needing putting
down,” he says, an evil glint in his eye.

“Maybe you were. But haven’t you paid enough for your sins?”
I ask him gently.

“Simple as that? You forgive at the drop of a hat. You are a
silly girl,” he admonishes me.

“Do you want me to help you or not? The insults are not
endearing you to me,” I say holding up my hand in protest.

“I mean it with all affection. For the record, I was not a
monster. I was simply a powerful being who wanted to use his power to rule,” he
explains.

“Well then, what is there to forgive? And FYI, ruling sucks.
I would much rather have carried on with my normal Vampire life without any of
these additional hassles,” I tell him.

“Those additional hassles are shaping your future, Aefre. I
know what your hopes and dreams are. I know what you hope will happen in the
future with your sire. That wouldn’t be possible without your extra Powers,” he
says quietly.

“Yes, well. After being slashed to ribbons and thrown out of
a tower window by that sire, he can forget about any future with me. Not to
mention the other thing,” I say forcefully.

“Ah, yes the other thing. You finally believe me then?” he
asks.

“Unfortunately yes, it does appear that you were right,” I
say, holding back the tears of betrayal. “I apologize for not believing you.”

He shrugs. “And what do you plan on doing about it?” he asks
somewhat slyly.

“I am going to kick his arse and then never see him again!”
I exclaim with gusto.

“Ah, not so forgiving then. Yet you came here to rescue him.
Bargained with me to take him back. Baffling.” He smiles.

“He is still my sire. I still love him, I just can’t forgive
him. Now shut it and give me your hands.”

He takes my hands in his. “What exactly are we doing?”

“I am offering you my energy to see how it affects you,” I
say.

He narrows his eyes at me, but he pulls on my energy anyway.
I am going to have to find something to feed from myself soon and this is not
helping, but I will do it anyway. “Do you feel any different?”

“Yes,” he breathes. “It is incredible, but it only works
from your Dragon side. You see. It is pointless.”

“Why?”

“Because I cannot get to the Dragon Realms and I don’t
exactly see Tiamat sending over a bunch of Her subjects just so I can walk the
Earth full time.”

“Then use me.” I shrug.

“No, I cannot sustain this from just you alone. It will kill
you,” he says.

“Aww, you really don’t want me dead anymore. So sweet. And
by the way, I don’t die easily. If at all, in fact,” I point out.

“Everyone dies,” he says. “There is always a way.”

“Gee, doom and gloom much?”

“Thank you for your offer, but it is impractical.” He averts
his eyes.

“So is your wanting to take me into a world of dreams,” I
say.

“Not for me,” he sighs.

“Very well. I will find a way to make this happen.”

“Will you still give me my seven days with you? I have been
looking forward to it all day,” he sulks.

“I gave you my word. But no funny business,” I say.

“What is funny business?” he asks.

“No turning into Fraser, or trying to get into my pants.
Again. It’s creepy. Even more so now I know we are related.” I shudder at the
thought.

“I told you we are not related. And even if you insist on
making the Tiamat connection, we are distant relatives at best,” he scoffs.

“Distant relatives is still relatives,” I point out.

“But you don’t let that bother you with young Xane,” he
points out and I gulp.

“His lineage is so far below mine, it is but a speck on the
horizon. A speck that you can’t even see without one of those space telescope
thingies. You, on the other hand, have a very clear title of ‘grandnephew.’
Even if you were born two thousand years before me, there’s no getting away
from it.”

“Why are you so stubborn?” he asks.

“Why are you so creepy?” I retort.

He laughs loudly. “Fine, you win. No Fraser and no roll in
the hay. Refuse a starving man a meal, see if I care.”

“You are incorrigible. Go find yourself a nice little ghost
girl to ease your needs,” I say to him.

He laughs again and says, “Any words you want to pass on to
your entourage before I go?”

I shake my head and say, “No, I’ll do it myself.”

He nods and vanishes without another word, leaving a single
red rose in his place. I pick it up and lean back again and sigh. One more
thing to add to my “to-do” list: Save Remiel. Formerly out to kill him before
he killed me, but now he needs saving. Oh, joy. How do I get myself into these
situations?

Chapter 4

Buckinghamshire, England, 2013 – Cole

He wakes up with his hand wrapped around himself. He often
finds he wakes up this way when she isn’t here, in this big bed all alone. He
hates it. He hates her being gone. He wishes there was a way that she could
always be here with him. Just him. He is aching for her. It hurts, but he can’t
tell her. She will feel bad and try to arrange to stay with him. That will lead
to more bargaining and yet more secret promises that she has to make to
him
.
He hates
him
. He hates him more than he hates being alone. He tolerates
him in her presence, as no doubt Constantine does to him, but on the rare
occasions they are alone, their mutual hatred shines through. Fuck, he misses
her. The ache gets worse as he thinks about her. It is this ache that caused
him to end up in bed with Tanya on Tuesday night, naked and writhing against
each other. He wanted to do it, to fuck her so that the ache would ease, but
also out of spite. He knew what Liv was doing. He didn’t have to think very
hard on that and it pushed him to the brink of doing it. But he didn’t. He
couldn’t. He got up and left. And that is why he is now in bed alone with his
dick in his hand. Thinking about his wife now, he strokes himself. He is
already so hard it doesn’t take much to get him going. He thinks of her golden
hair that falls to brush her nipples when she is naked. Her mischievous green
eyes that hold a million promises, her luscious red lips the color of cherries.
Ah, cherries. Her blood tastes just like them. Oh fuck, her blood. He can feel
his balls tighten and he comes with a soft moan that he smothers in the pillow
as he spurts out all over her side of the bed. It still smells like her. That
mix of lavender and J’adore perfume. Fuck, he misses her.

He groans in frustration and rubs his hands over his face.
Why does she have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t she just let them bring her
back?

He glances at the clock; it’s only midnight. He has been
asleep for an hour. He’s not even that tired. He always ends up in bed at her
time even when she isn’t here. It’s ridiculous. God, he loves her. He loves her
completely as his sire and he would do anything for her. He
does
do
anything for her. He puts up with all of her demands because the alternative is
too hard to think about. But he is in love with her as a woman, as his wife.
She is so strong and he likes that. He loves that she could kick his ass into
next week, it is a major turn-on. So sexy. But when she is vulnerable and he
can take care of her--that he loves even more. It makes him feel powerful and
useful. This feeling of being inadequate around her is the only downside to
being turned. If he could just embrace the life that she keeps harping on
about, multiple lovers like she does, maybe it will make things easier. He has
no shortage of women throwing themselves at him. He didn’t even before she
turned him, but now he has to fight them off with a stick. She doesn’t know, he
has never told her that he could have fucked about a thousand times on her, but
he just can’t do it. He thinks of his ex, Carolyn. She has been trying to
contact him recently, although he hasn’t returned her calls. She looks like
Liv, only not quite so beautiful. They had been together a while when he had
met Liv on that red carpet, and it was serious, but he knew it was over with
her the second Liv smiled at him. Sure, he stayed on with her until the day
after his first date with Liv, just in case. No point in burning bridges, but
he called her the second he had a moment to himself to end it. He had never put
much stock in love at first sight, but man oh man, did he fall like a lunatic
for Liv that night. It was like it was meant to be just like in his dreams. He
couldn’t even wait until the next day to call her. He just wanted to hear her
voice again. He sighs. He is still torn in knots over the sex party. He didn’t
go there to fuck the girl. He wanted to feed from her and watch his wife with
her and then take Liv as the girl watched. She made him do it, as ridiculous as
that sounds, but once again he fell under her spell and did as she wanted him
to do. He closes his eyes to try and get back to sleep, but it doesn’t work. He
can only see her beautiful face, and with an impatient sigh he gets up. He
pulls on a pair of sweats and sits back down on the bed. He never slept naked before
he met her. Now it is just the norm. It’s easier to take her in the middle of
the night without clothes getting in the way. Every night that they lie in the
same bed together, he just wants her. He watches her sleep and then he has to
have her. Sometimes she doesn’t even wake up completely as she lies on her side
and he thrusts inside her. As twisted as that sounds, he likes it. He likes her
helpless when he takes her. Fuck, he is such a pervert. She has turned him into
a selfish, control-less pervert who fucks his wife while she’s half asleep. He
stands up, disgusted with himself and pulls open the door. He needs to move and
he’s thirsty. He wants cold water. That helps with the cravings. Liv uses wine
and Scotch as her crutch, but he finds that cold water works for him. He wishes
she would give in to her cravings. He would feel less bad about it if she did.
He hasn’t drained a human since the other day on the Hunt and he probably won’t
again until she accepts it. She says she has, but he knows that she hasn’t. In
typical Liv fashion, they talked about it until she decided the subject was
closed and that was the end of it. He loves that woman, but man, she can be so
selfish. He doesn’t know if it is her age or that she is his sire or if that is
just the way she is. He hopes it is her age. He doesn’t like to think of her as
being that way naturally. Mind you, the little he knows of her human years, he
doubts she was anything but. It must have been that arrogant prick that made
her that way. He doesn’t give a damn about anything or anyone except her. He
would probably shoot his own mother in the face if she stood in his way. Makes
Cole wonder then what Constantine was like as a human. Probably exactly as he
is now. He blinks and realizes he has been standing in the doorway with his
thoughts. He moves forward and comes face to face with Jess as she creeps out
of the room she is sharing with Devon.

“Hey,” she starts in surprise as she sees him.

“Hi,” he says awkwardly as his eyes zero straight in on her
tits. Her nipples are hard as pebbles as they strain against the flimsy fabric
of her nightgown. He drops his gaze a little lower--it’s hard not to--to take
in the expanse of her long legs and he lingers just a bit too long at the hem
of the nightgown, which is barely covering her ass and, as a result, the front
of her as well. “Err, I’m headed to the kitchen,” he mumbles, as his eyes
return to her slightly amused face.