Secrets (The Forever series, Book 8) (30 page)

“Making sure they are still there,” I say.

He bursts out laughing at me, but then sobers quickly when
he, too, remembers Xerxei and her lack of Vampiric abilities. “Does it really
feel that different?” he asks.

“Yep,” I say. “It’s really quite odd. All the hot and cold
emotions I had as a Vampire are all calm now.”

“You haven’t lost your bond to me, have you?” he asks,
worried.

“No, of course not,” I say, touching him to prove it to him.
“I am still a Vampire, she is just…resting,” I add, and this is what Tiamat had
said to me. Cole pulls me to him in the elevator and I lean on him, enjoying
this immensely. We have so little time to ourselves. I am glad that I now have
the next month with him. Pity he still has to work, but this late in the day he
can’t quit, so we will have to make do.

Back in the car I flip through Tanya’s journal just for
something to do. Such a nosey bitch, but I want to know what she had to say
about my husband. Holy crap, I think as I read, she was obsessed with him. I
scan a few more pages and then stop. “Tuesday night?” I spit out at him, waving
the book in his face.

“What?” he asks, as he pushes it out of his line of sight so
he can see the road.

“You were in bed with her on Tuesday night?” I yell at him.
I am only mad with him because he didn’t tell me, not because he did anything
with her.

“Uh, yes,” he says guiltily. “But nothing happened! I got up
and left before it went anywhere.”

“It went as far as the bed!” I state in annoyance.

“You know what I mean,” he mumbles. “Don’t be mad with me,
Liv. Or do you want me to ask what
you
were doing on Tuesday night?”

I flush with anger at his attitude, but then I have to
concede that I was doing far worse on Tuesday night than he was.

“Thought so,” he mutters at my silence and I throw the book
at him. It bounces off his head and I stifle the snort of laughter that is
threatening to burst out at his wounded look. “At least I know what you will be
doing this Tuesday night,” he adds.

“Indeed,” I say and I wish I could give him what he wants
from me. It also reminds me of the talk I have to have with CK when we get
home. I am not looking forward to that, but he will do as I ask because he said
he would. Mind you, he has said a lot of things that he hasn’t stuck to lately.

Back at home, we are accosted as soon as we walk in the door
by Sebastian. “Here,” he throws something at me and I catch it.

“What is it?” I ask, twirling the gold circlet in my hands.

“My father’s crown. It’s yours now,” he says.

“Seb?” I ask. “What happened?”

He stalks off into the library where CK is also waiting. He
has clearly already been filled in as he is standing there looking avenged,
which is annoying, as I was the one who was wronged. “Aelfric is dead,”
Sebastian states.

“You killed him?” I ask quietly.

“Didn’t have to. Your own father took care of it,” he says
shortly.

I feel a slight pang of guilt that someone died because of
me. These Faerie don’t mess about. But it is quickly squashed by my Dragon, who
most definitely approves. Bloodthirsty bunch, these original creatures. “This
makes you King now?” I say.

He stands up straight and replies, “Yes.”

I have no idea what to say next to him. This wasn’t part of
the plan, not mine and certainly not his. He is bearing the weight of this and
I can see he doesn’t want it. I hold out the crown to him and say, “This is
yours then.”

“You wish this for me?” he asks formally.

“It is not my decision, Sebastian.”

“As my Queen, it is your decision,” he says. “This affects
you as well,” he adds with a quick look at Cole, ignoring CK completely.

Ah, shit. He’s right. If he becomes King of the Light Fae
and I am supposed to unite with him, that makes me Queen of the Light Fae. Just
once I’d like to be just “me.’”

I sigh and take the extra duty on, as is expected of me.
Tiamat will no doubt throw a shit fit at me, but I can’t help how all of this
has played out. He bows his head as I hold the crown out to him again and he
accepts it as I put it on him. “Very well,” he says.

Cole looks on mournfully and CK looks furious, but this is
just another one of those things.

“I must return,” Sebastian says. “Civil war is about to
break out over your father killing mine. I will return, when I can. I have a
plan that might end this, but I need to think it through first.”

I nod. “Be safe, Kalen,” I whisper and he kisses my hand
before he does the Fae King puff-of-smoke thing.

I stare at where he disappeared, thinking I should probably
go and see Drake. Who knows what is going on over there? Having said that, I
perhaps am the last person he will want to see, not to mention everyone else. I
have never been the cause of war before and while V.A. is reveling in the
destruction, the girl Aefre is curled up in a dark corner crying. It’s very
confusing.

“Constantine, I need to speak with you,” I say, turning to
him.

He looks hopeful as he nods and I hate that I am going to
crush him, but this has to happen. Cole gives my hand a quick squeeze and I grab
CK’s shoulder and Astral us to his bedroom.

“Have you forgiven me?” he asks straight away.

I shake my head. “Not yet. Not for everything.”

“What can I do to make it up to you?” he asks.

“I need a month,” I say. “One month away from you to gain
some perspective. I don’t want to see you or speak to you. I need time.”

“No, Aefre,” he says, shaking his head. “You will not leave
me. We have a deal.”

“Deal or not, you said outside that you would give me time.
I’m asking for it and you owe me.”

“A month?” he asks after a long silence. “How will I go a
whole month without seeing you? Without touching you, or kissing you, making
love to you. I can’t, Aefre, it is too long.” His miserable face breaks my
heart, but I stand firm.

“Even if I came to you, we wouldn’t be doing any of that,” I
say softly, looking down. “I can’t.”

“Oh, Aefre, I’m sorry. I am such a fucking idiot. Of course
not.” He sighs and turns his back to me. I wait, because I know he is going to
give me what I want. He has no choice. “I will go,” he says. “You won’t see me
or hear from me for three months.”

“No, Constantine,” I interrupt him, “just one. I will have
made my mind up about what I want to do then.”

“Three months,” he says again, turning to face me. “Three
months from this date, you will have your feelings clear about what happened to
you over there and how you wish to proceed. I will wait for you at
Ponte
.
If you come I will know you have forgiven me. If you do not, I will leave you
to your life.” He waits expectantly for my answer, his eyes begging me to
protest and I want to. Three months will feel like a lifetime away from him
now. Even after what he has done, I still have the bone-deep need and desire
for him. But he has offered up his own punishment and I accept it.

“Three months from today,” I say and he Teleports out
without another word, and if I didn’t know better, I could have sworn I saw
tears in his eyes.

I leave the bedroom after a few minutes, my own tears having
fallen and been brushed aside. I find Cole lurking and tell him of our
conversation. I can tell he is overjoyed, although he is desperately trying not
to show it. I know he is madly curious as to why he ended up with three months
of me to himself instead of just the one, but he has learned now not to look
the ancient Vampire gift horse in the mouth.

“One down, two to go,” I say lightly.

“No, you don’t need to cut them off completely, Liv. Just no
nights away, be here when I need you,” Cole says, and it surprises me that he
is in earnest. I would have thought he’d have jumped at the chance. “I know how
you feel about Devon,” he says as he sees my surprise. “And I don’t want to get
on Lincoln’s bad side. If he doesn’t see you when he needs you, things could
get ugly.” His easy tone belies his true feelings, but I take it before he
changes his mind, and scuttle off to find Lincoln. I don’t really need to speak
to Devon as we had already decided to limit our extra-curricular activities
anyway, and I am sure that Cole will mention this to him if he hasn’t already.

I find Lincoln in the library, working. “Demon-Wolf thing?”
I ask, as I bend down to kiss him lightly.

He grimaces at me. “Can’t find out a damn thing about it.
Cliff has eyes and ears out over all the Packs in England, but until the next
full moon we probably won’t catch sight of it again.”

I sit down next to him and he regards me intently. “Liv.”

“Don’t want to discuss it,” I say shortly.

“How did you know what I wanted to say?”

“The choice of topic doesn’t matter. It will be one of many
things since I last spoke to you and I don’t want to discuss any of them. Not
right now.”

“Fair enough,” he says and I love him for not pushing.

“I do have something I need to tell you though,” I say. He
is less than impressed when I tell him of my hiatus.

“Okay, I get that you aren’t ready to be with anyone after
what happened, but I don’t get to see you at all?” he asks.

“Of course, you will see me. I just can’t spend any time
with you, where I should be spending it with Cole.”

“So, I can still spend time with you when he is at work?” he
asks hopefully.

“Yes. And he understands about the full moon issue,” I
reassure him.

“For how long?”

I chew my lip as I’m not sure. Cole asked for a month and CK
gave three. I’m not sure I can go three months without Lincoln. It is going to
be torture as it is going cold turkey from my sire, as mad at him as I am. “A
month,” I say.

“A whole month? What about our date? I was really looking
forward to it. Even without the, other stuff, I wanted to take you out.”

“We can make it a lunch date,” I suggest and he glares at
me.

“Not the same,” he sulks.

“I know,” I say and take his face in my hands. “I have to do
this, please understand.”

He nods reluctantly and I kiss him sweetly. “I love you,” he
murmurs.

“I love you too, so, so much,” I tell him back and he
brightens a little bit.

We both spin around as we hear a muffled sound coming from
the doorway.

Cole.

How long has he been standing there? And furthermore, why
couldn’t I sense him? My Vampire is resting all right. Seems she only comes
alive when I touch the people I love. Lincoln lets go of me and I scoot my
chair back a bit, too little too late but it’s the thought that counts. With a
last look back at Lincoln, I stand up and take Cole’s hand. Having him hear me
tell someone else how much I love them is a raw deal and I wish that he hadn’t
heard it.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks as I draw him towards the
stairs.

“Sure,” I say cautiously.

“When you were gone, Constantine said that he had signed
over half of his estate to you. Is that true?”

He told Cole that? I could kill him. “He tried,” I say
calmly. “He offered it to me but I refused.” That is the truth. I hadn’t signed
the papers he gave to me, however, in the spirit of coming clean (as clean as I
can, anyway) I add, “But I did take ownership of
Ponte
.”

“I see. Can I ask why?”

I had expected a shitstorm, but he is being as composed as I
am about it. “He offered it to me. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to. You
have no idea how huge a deal this is for him, and me.”

“So it is your home together,” he presses.

“It will be,” I say carefully. “One day, maybe.”

His eyes bore into mine at my evasiveness, but he lets it
go. I am glad because he thinks my lack of forthcoming is because I don’t want
to discuss it with him, when in actual fact, I can’t say for certain that I
will ever live there with CK again, but I can’t tell him why. We have reached
our bedroom and we both pause, wondering what is going to happen next. He sighs
and leads me inside and lets me go while he turns his back to change. He pulls
on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and climbs into bed, all before I have even
taken my jacket off. He is obviously trying to show me he wants nothing from
me. It makes me feel even worse. I swap my own clothes for a long, white,
cotton, old-fashioned nightgown. All my bits are covered, including the burns
and Faerie marks, from my neck to my feet. I probably don’t look very fetching
at all, and that was the idea. Cole hates it when I look vulnerable and my
human age. Hopefully it will douse any desire he has for me. For extra measure
I twist my long, blonde hair into two braids and now I know I look the exact
opposite of how he likes me. Maybe a Shift wouldn’t go amiss, I wonder briefly,
but then think that is probably taking it too far. I climb stiffly into bed and
he turns on his side away from me. It hurts like the dickens, but I do the
same. This is not how this is supposed to be. I flop onto my back, prepared to
take action. I reach for him hesitantly, but his voice stops me cold. “Don’t,”
he whispers. “Don’t do anything you don’t really want to.” I withdraw my hand
and tuck it into my side as I turn back over. I curse myself for being weak and
pathetic. What happened wasn’t the end of the world. It could have been far,
far worse than it was. Cole is my husband, he isn’t going to hurt me and even
if he did try, he would be on the losing side of that fight, not me. But I
can’t do it yet. Not even for him.

Chapter 13

I get up several times in the night to check the healing of
the burns. Cole is fast sleep so for the third time I get up and creep into the
bathroom. Gone. They have gone. I breathe a sigh of relief, but it doesn’t go
very far in helping me get over it. I slide back into bed and Cole gathers me
to him in his sleep and I feel like I can let him now. My body is no longer
tainted, I feel like I am in an acceptable state to lie with my husband’s arms
around me. I lie wide awake, enjoying listening to Cole’s steady breathing and
his soft heartbeat. God, I want him. I slip out of his arms and go to check
once more that the burns are still gone. They are, so I stare at myself in the
mirror and give myself a talking-to.
Stop being so damn pathetic. He is your
husband, if you want him, go and take him. Take back the Power that was taken
from you, and do it your way. He loves you and you love him.
I take a deep
breath and then whisper out loud the question that has been bouncing around in
my head all night. “Do you really want Aelfric to be the last man that has
taken you? Do you really want him to have that hold on you?” I shake my head
ferociously and reply to myself, “No!”