Secrets of My Hollywood Life (18 page)

"I know I'm wearing my own jeans," I spill before she even opens her mouth. Liz purses her ruby red lip-glossed lips, but doesn't answer. "What?" I demand anxiously. "Is it my Sidekick?"

"No, but you're not going to like this either," Liz says slowly. Before she can clarify, Beth and Allison arrive. Beth is clutching a clipboard that says SPRING FLING.

"Did Liz tell you?" Allison asks breathlessly.

"Tell me what?" I look from a frowning Liz to a smiling Beth and Allison.

"We found a replacement for Kaitlin Burke!" Beth exclaims.

I breathe a sigh of relief. That's one less thing to worry about. "Great. Who'd you get?"

Beth and Allison look at each other and giggle. "Sky Mackenzie," they chorus in unison.

"YOU GOT SKY MACKENZIE?" I shriek, forgetting my British accent. People walking down the hall turn and stare.

"Hey ..." Allison points at me. "Your accent..."

"That sounded pretty good," Liz interjects quickly, pounding me on the back. "You're learning an American accent already."

"You don't like Sky?" Beth asks me.

"It's not that...," I begin, trying to pull myself together.

"She's even a better get than Kaitlin Burke," Allison interrupts, tossing her long brown hair. "Sky isn't all over
Hollywood Insider
like Kaitlin is." She glances at Liz out of the corner of her eye. Liz glares at her.

"She seems very nice," Beth adds. "We're going to talk again tonight. Sky wants to know all about Clark Hall and how she can help us. With the dance on Friday, we don't have much time to plan."

Sky is calling Beth? That's weird. She usually makes her publicist handle all her menial calls. Beth must be mistaken. But before Beth and Allison can nominate Sky for Actress of the Year, the first bell rings.

"We've got to go, but remember, we're starting to decorate the gym after school today," Allison reminds us. She reaches down and massages her calf, visible below her hot pink pleated skirt. "I spent two hours in dance class last night to make up for missing this afternoon." The two of them leave Liz and me standing there.

"I shouldn't have volunteered for this committee," Liz apologizes. "If I had known they wanted a celebrity host..."

"It's okay," I assure her, shaking. But the truth is, it's not. Nothing's okay and I can't hold it in any longer. My eyes start to well up with tears. Leave it to Sky to ruin everything. Again.

"It's going to be okay, Kates," Liz promises, hugging me.

"It's so unfair," I bawl, not caring about the people in the hallway who turn and stare curiously. I keep my voice low, though. "My Sidekick is probably being examined by someone at
In Touch,
Hutch Adams still hasn't said he wants me in his movie, and to top it all off, now I can't go to the dance with Austin."

"First off, your cover is
not
blown," Liz reminds me softly. "Secondly, we don't know where your Sidekick is. For all we know, it could be at a landfill by now." I sniffle. "You said Laney's been calling some of the gossip reporters, and no one's said anything, right?" I nod. "So why would you have to skip the dance?"

I give her a you-should-know-better look. "Sky is not going to suspect anything," Liz whispers confidently. "Why would she? I go to school here, not Kaitlin. This is just a crazy coincidence." I sniffle again. Liz reaches into her oversized, slouchy denim handbag and pulls out a pack of tissues.

"Thanks." I blow my nose with an unladylike snort, then grab another tissue to wipe away my tears. I'm trying not to smudge my eyeliner and mascara, but then I remember that "Rachel" doesn't wear makeup. Get your head glued on straight, Kaitlin!

From all the crying, my right contact lens seems to be out of whack. I look in my locker mirror and try to shift the lens back in place, but instead it pops out of my eye.

"Liz, I lost a lens!" I hiss. I drop to the ground to look for it. Liz quickly drops her bag and begins searching too. The two of us run our fingers along the red-specked floor.

"Lose something?" Out of the corner of my eye I look up. Oh geez, it's Austin. He looks adorable in boat shoes, knock-off Burberry shorts, and a royal blue Polo shirt.

"Hey, Austin." I try to sound casual and quickly put my head back down. "I, uh, lost a contact."

"But don't you wear glasses?" he queries, looking confused.

Oops. "I have a trial pair of contacts to try," I cover quickly. "It doesn't seem like it's going to work out, though."

"Do you need help looking?" he offers.

"No, we've got it covered," Liz says hastily. Austin kneels down anyway.

"It couldn't have gone far," he reasons. His hands slide across the ground. Liz looks at me. I know what she's thinking. If he notices that the contact lens is brown, or worse yet, sees my one green eye....

"Found it!" Liz yells. She holds out her palm. I grab the lens and stuff it back in my eye, dirt and all.

"Gross." Austin laughs, looking shocked. "Aren't you supposed to use cleaner or something?"

"I don't have it with me," I admit. "And I can't walk around with one lens, so ..."

"We should go, Rach," Liz says. "We're late for first period."

"Me too," Austin agrees. "My mom got stuck in traffic, so I'm late for Mrs. D." He holds up a note. "I'm hoping she'll accept this. My mom wrote it in French."

"If that doesn't work, I don't know what will." I gather my books off the floor. I stuff my tortoise-shell glasses in the pile, hoping Austin won't notice.

"I'll see you guys in Mr. Klein's room. I have to book it over to North Hall for geometry." Liz dashes off, leaving Austin and me alone.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

I nod, my eye twitching from the dirty lens. With everything happening, maybe I should tell him I can't go on Friday. "About Friday night," I begin.

"Oh yeah," Austin says, running a hand through his gelled hair. "I tried calling you all weekend to talk about the details, but you weren't home." I think of Nadine carrying around the "emergency" phone line we set up for Clark calls. I'm sure she ignored the rings because of the Sidekick drama.

"Yeah, I got back from the wedding later than I planned," I explain, relieved that I remembered my excuse. "But about the dance ..."

"Yeah, so do you want me to rent us a ride or something? I don't think I can get away with driving my Mom's car with just a learner's permit." He laughs.

"No, that's okay." What am I thinking? I can't cancel! If the rest of my life is going down the toilet, then at least I can enjoy one last night of happiness ... that is, if my Sidekick notes don't get reprinted in
US Weekly
before then.

"Why don't we meet at the dance?" I suggest, sidestepping the dilemma of Austin showing up at my McMansion. "I don't want Beth and Allison to walk in alone. They're going solo."

"Yeah, you're right." He looks deep in thought. "I'll meet you there. But I hope we recognize each other."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"You'll be dressed as Kaitlin!" he laughs. "I can't wait to see how you pull it off."

"Me too," I respond truthfully.

Sixteen:
Night of a Thousand Stars

"Aren't you glad you didn't cancel on Austin?" Liz asks me as we hoist a huge A NIGHT OF A THOUSAND STARS banner onto a wall of the gymnasium.

It's Friday morning, and Allison, Beth, Liz, and I are putting the finishing touches on the gym. The room has been off-limits to everyone but the committee and volunteers all week. We even put black construction paper on the gym door windows so that nobody, including snoopsters Lori and Jessie, can see the room before tonight.

"Nah, this dance thing seems overrated," I joke. "Maybe I won't show up." We both laugh.

By Thursday, when no mention of my Sidekick had turned up in the gossips, Laney, Nadine, my parents, and I started to relax a bit. I guess I
did
accidentally throw it out.

"A trash compacter probably ground it to pieces by now, taking all your incriminating e-mails with it," Laney said gleefully. She celebrated by ordering me a Sidekick II covered in Swarovski crystals. ( "Sarah Michelle has one just like it!" she boasted. Sky would approve.) Mom was so happy she offered to help me find something Kaitlin-appropriate to wear to the dance. I guess Sky hosting the dance is just a regrettable coincidence. Laney still came up with a worst-case scenario excuse to use if I get caught ( "You're doing top-secret research for a
Marie Claire
cover story. They wanted you to try living a normal life," Laney concocted. "I'm sure I could convince their editor to cover for you.") I really don't think I'm going to be exposed though. Tonight I'll be concentrating on dancing with Austin in the middle of the basketball court under a sea of streamers to the strains of "Wonderland" by John Mayer. (Cue the eye roll from Paul.)

And tomorrow ... well, tomorrow, after Hutch Adams gets back from Vienna, where he's vacationing with his third wife, Seth swears he's calling with his decision. The word is that Sky and I are the top two contenders. It makes me want to throw up. "When you get the part," Laney said confidently, "you have to sit down with me and your parents and Nadine and figure out how this 'Rachel' will exit school without anyone noticing."

I'm hoping if things go well enough, maybe, just
maybe,
I can find a way to tell Austin tonight who I really am. I'm dying to talk this over with Liz, but if Laney or Nadine overhears me even hypothetically telling Austin who I am, I won't live to see nightfall.

I have a feeling everything about tonight is going to be perfect. The gym looks amazing. On one end of the room is the stage, which will hold the DJ and Sky. (She's sticking around for the first hour to announce some tunes and gush about how happy she is to be there.) In another corner, we created a faux outdoor seating area that resembles The Ivy restaurant. That's where we have all the food, which is pretty much chicken fingers, corn dogs, and pizza -- the kind of food I always wish I could get at the real Ivy.

The best part about the gym transformation, though, is the murals. The Anime Club put its talent to good use by painting a different backdrop for each wall: there's the Hollywood sign, Grauman's Chinese Theatre, a street on a studio backlot, and the fourth -- my idea, thank you very much -- is a picture of a group of paparazzi snapping photos. The school photographer will be set up in that corner to take pictures of each couple. Everyone who takes a picture will get a memento photo sleeve that says, I WAS STALKED AT CLARK HALL'S" A NIGHT OF A THOUSAND STARS."

Cool, huh? It's amazing to think that decorations made from papier-mâché, Elmer's glue, and glitter could feel more exciting than any blitzed out Hollywood affair I'm normally on the VIP list for.

"Rachel, I have to hand it to you," Allison says, stepping back to admire the starry banner Liz and I just hung. "For someone new to the States, you really know your Hollywood culture. That paparazzi wall is a riot!"

"Thanks." I grin. "We have camera stalkers in the U.K. too, you know. Just ask Prince Wills."

Beth pulls the four of us in for a group hug. "I'm so proud of us," she exclaims. "Even Mr. Klein can't say a bad thing about the awesome job we've done."

"And you know he'd try to come up with something if he could," Liz points out.

"The biggest props go to Bethie for pulling off the celebrity host." Allison claps.
"Especially
after Kaitlin Burke said no."

Just a few more hours of this, and hopefully I won't have to hear how awful I am for a while. At least not in person.

"Let's not start that again," Liz warns.

"Do you know Sky called me again last night?" Beth relates, awestruck. "She told me that she might stay longer than an hour. She may even bring Trevor Wainright!"

Allison sighs. "I love him."

"Sky's so cool," Beth gushes, shaking her curly head in amazement.

"Um, let's not forget she's getting something out of this too," Liz grumbles. "She's bringing a magazine reporter with her. She's doing this for publicity, guys." Aww, thanks, Lizzie.

"She promised her publicist that she'd do that," Beth retorts defensively. "Sky
wants
to do this. She told me that the Spring Fling came up at the perfect moment. She was calling Tom Pullman to ask him how she could get involved with some charity work for the show...."

That's hard to believe.

"... And he said, 'It just so happens that I have an opportunity for you that Kaitlin just turned down,'" Beth continues.

Aha! She'd never pass up something like that!

"She seems very nice," Beth adds. Liz snorts. "The only thing that was odd was when she screamed at her mom for interrupting our phone call. I mean, my mom walks in on my private calls all the time."

Now that sounds more like the girl I know.

"Did she say she knew me?" Liz asks. "We don't get along that well."

"She said she vaguely remembered meeting you," Beth says dismissively.

Sky
definitely
would remember Liz. She's met her a dozen times!

"What time are we meeting at your house, Liz?" Allison interrupts.

"I was thinking right after school, so that we have time to get ready before Josh arrives," Liz says gleefully. Liz is going as Angelina Jolie. Her date, Josh from kickboxing, is going as Brad Pitt. Beth is going as Halle Berry. And Allison is going as Lindsay Lohan -- from classic red hair days.

"Did you tell Rob you'd save him a dance?" Allison ribs Beth.

Beth turns as red as the streamers dangling high above her head. "Yeah," she squeaks. "What time are you meeting Austin, Rach?"

"I told him seven-thirty in front of The Ivy." Now it's my turn to blush. I'm saved by the bell before anybody can say anything else.

"My house! Three-thirty!" Liz yells as she races out of the gym. I watch the others leave, and hang back to call Nadine. At this point, Mrs. Desmond knows I'm never on time, so what's another late mark?

"Hey," Nadine answers the phone. "Everything okay?"

"I think so." I fill her in on what Beth said about Sky. "Don't you think it's odd that Sky's this excited about a high school dance?"