Secrets of a Side Bitch (13 page)

Simone

“Hello?”

“Hey, Simone. This is Michelle, Tammy’s mother.”

When I heard the name, I stopped logging into Facebook and gave her my full
attention.

“Hi, Michelle.”
“Um, I have a question. Have you seen or talked to Tammy?”

“No, ma’am. Not since I was at your place about two weeks
ago.”

             
“Is it normal for you not to talk to her?”

             
“We have our moments. A week there. A month here. Is everything okay?”

Sadly, Michelle answered, “I don’t think so.” Then she let out a heavy sigh as she replied, “She

never came back from the store last night.”

             
“She’s not answering her phone?”

             
“It’s going straight to voicemail.”

             
“Do you think…”

Michelle cut off me off. I don’t think she wanted to consider the
obvious. “Can you call some of your mutual friends and see if they’ve talked to her?”

             
“Sure. I’ll do that and give you a call back if I hear anything.”

             
“Thank you, Simone.”

             
As I hung the phone up, I put my focus back on Facebook. Fuck, Tammy. She was a bitch. Her facial expression a few weeks ago as I told her about Omari was embedded into my brain. Every time I thought about that cynical smirk that overly confident bitch was giving me, it made me hate her smug ass even more. Yes, I was lying about me and Omari’s relationship, but who the fuck was she to think otherwise?

             
Bitch
.

             
I focused back on Facebook as I cursed Tammy’s existence. Of course I was logging into my fake page so that I could look on Aeysha’s page to see what was going on.

             
Though I thought that me and Omari wouldn’t be over, it seemed like it really was. As days and weeks went by, I continued to try to play it cool while calling and text messaging him randomly as if I was just saying hello and seeing how he was doing. My calls were never returned and he returned
some
of my messages with very vague responses.

             
The heartbreak of losing him was especially worse that day. The upcoming Saturday was Sweetest Day. I was going to spend yet another holiday alone. I was use to it. Being the side bitch so many times got me use to spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. I could completely count out the romantic holidays. Being with Omari, I was finally looking forward to spending a loving holiday with my man. But, yet again, I was left alone, because he had to be with his real woman; the one who deserved the holidays, and more.

             
I wanted to be the one that deserved the holidays.

             
I couldn’t believe that, after all the time we spent together, Omari was able to throw me away so easily. It put a demeaning feeling in my spirit that hurt like a bitch and was way too familiar.

             
That feeling got worse as I read status messages from that day on Aeysha’s page. That worthless feeling lay over me like a blanket as I read about her and Omari looking for houses and how good her man was to her.

             
I stared at her profile picture and reread her statuses about Omari over and over again. I wondered why there wasn’t one thing about me that would make him chose me over this fat, uneducated, ghetto bitch.

             
When Tre stopped fucking with me, I said that that was the last time that a nigga chose another bitch over me, and I was not playing.

O
mari

“I called everybody here tonight because I got picked up by them boys today.”

My heart started to race while I sat at the table next
to Capone in Ching’s kitchen. It was three other niggas at the table with us – Black, Smoke, and Bert. They all played intricate parts in Ching’s camp. Smoke, like Capone, ran Ching’s other block out west. After Ching shut down the block I got robbed on, Black had been upgraded to work alongside Bert supplying other camps all over the city.

Bert was obviously shook, like the rest of us.
“When was this?!”

Like
Bert, I couldn’t believe that the cops had actually been anywhere near Ching without us knowing.

“Them motherfuckas been questioning me for eight hours. Got me comin’ out the crib this morning.”

Smoke asked, “This crib? How the fuck they know where you live?”

What’s fuck
ed up is, when Ching answered, “Beats the fuck outta me,” he looked dead at me.

It hadn’t been any noise about the murder lately, but I knew that
the cops wasn’t just gone let that shit go. The governor was on the news every other day asking people to come forward. Even Ron’s parents spoke at a news conference and offered a ten thousand dollar reward for whoever came forward with information.

Ten thousand dollars wasn’t worth a life though, so nobody was worried about a snitch.

“Look,” Ching said leaning forward. “Nobody but the niggas at this table know what happened. The streets may know about that robbery but as long as everybody at this table shut the fuck up, I’ll stay out jail.”

I didn’t like that this motherfucka kept looking at me. I
definitely didn’t like the fact that this nigga said
he
would stay out of jail.

What the fuck about me?

After going over some more business, Ching dismissed everybody. Since they all lived on the Westside, Capone, Smoke, Black, and Bert got the fuck up out of there. Westside niggas didn’t fuck with the Southside too tough.  Capone was the only one that did since he was raised on the Southside.

I lingered around until everybody was gone so that I could finally holla at Ching.

This nigga was supposed to be my family. I knew that I was a man, so couldn’t nobody make me do shit. But he had definitely strong armed me into this lifestyle and that fucking murder. I didn’t like how he was acting like I was the one with the problem. He was the one that put me in the shit in the first place.

“Aye, Ching. I need to rap
wit’ you, man.”

I was standing at the table. Ching was still sitting there
, now rolling a few blunts. When I’d approached him like a man, he approached me like I was a peon.

He didn’t even look me in my eyes
when he said, “What up?”

“Why I feel like you think I’m a soft ass nigga or something? You think I snitched on where you live?”
              “I hope not.”
              “You
hope
?” Truth be told, that fucked with me. History had shown Ching that I was less of a man. I couldn’t take care of my family if it hadn’t been for him. But for him to actually look at me like I wasn’t shit was a smack in the face. I figured after putting myself on the line countless times for this nigga that I had proven that I could hold my own.

“Yea,  I
hope
. And sit down. I don’t like lookin’ up to no nigga when I’m talkin’ to him!”

I damn near laughed out loud. “
Is you serious?!”

As fast as lightning, Ching stood up, whipped his gun from his pants a
nd was pointing it at me. “Dead motherfuckin’ serious!”

I didn’t even flinch. I saw a lot of fear in Ching’s eyes.
He wasn’t mad at me, and he really wasn’t going to shoot me. He just knew that he’d fucked up with that murder and he was scared.

“I knew you was a soft nigga! I don’t even know why I fucked wit
’ you!”

When you should never turn your back on a
man with a gun, I did. Out of my peripheral, I saw him putting his gun back as he sat back down at the table. I could hear Ching calling me all kinds of soft pretty boys as I walked out. I figured that was my last time fucking with Ching. And that was cool with me. I had enough money to put a nice down payment on the house and keep me, Aeysha, mom and the baby straight until I found a better way. I wasn’t going to be able to pay off mom’s crib as planned, but, fuck it.

I
t was time to wash my hands of Ching.

Simone

Even after work, my mind was still swarming with thoughts of Omari and Aeysha. As I drove home, I pictured them making love and got sick to my stomach. As I walked into my house, I pictured them walking into their new house and started to cry.

             
“Hello?”
              I really didn’t feel like talking. But when I saw that it was my girl Sara, I answered. Sara was helping me sell my house. She worked at Lexington but was a realtor in her spare time.

             
“Hey, Simone. Are you okay?”

             
“Not really. Just having a bad day,” I answered with a heavy sigh as I sat on the couch and took off my heels.

             
“Well, I won’t keep you long. Just wanted to let you know that I was showing the house on Saturday.”

             
“Okay, girl. Thanks again for all your help.”

             
“No problem. Talk to you later.”

             
I hung up and threw my phone across the room. I was so irritated! Luckily, I had carpet, so the phone didn’t shatter into pieces.

             
I had to do something to get Omari’s attention. I figured that I had to pull some kind of stunt in order to see him. I figured that once face to face he wouldn’t be able to deny our chemistry. Then I would at least have his attention again so that I could then work on getting him back.

             
Since playing hard to get wasn’t working, I had to go another route. I went into the kitchen plotting, but as I stood in the middle of the floor nothing came to mind. Then I saw the knife set on the counter and grabbed the sharpest one. I ran over the blade with my fingertips as I walked back into the living room. I remember thinking to myself that I must be insane, but thoughts of Omari were louder than any other common sense.

             
Lamps crashed as I kicked over the two end tables. The 60” inch flat screen sounded like cracks of lightning as I knocked it onto the floor.

I took the knife and made tears in my blouse. As the knife sliced through the material, it made small scratches on my chest.

I screeched as I sliced my legs. I made sure that there were two visible gashes, but nothing deep enough that would need stitches.

When I called Omari and didn’t get an answer, I took pictures of the destroyed living room and my legs. I sent them to Omari with messages to please call because I needed help.

I sat on the couch ripping my blouse more while hoping that he would call. I feared my mental stability if even this didn’t make him reach out to me.

Ten minutes later, my cell phone rang and his name appeared on the screen.
It’s crazy how I smiled just seeing his name appear on that screen again.

I answered the phone with fake terror and tears.
“Hello?”

“What’s happened?!”

“Oh my God, Omari! I walked into the house and Jimmy was here! He kept asking me where Tammy was. When I didn’t respond, he attacked me!”
              “What?! Did you call the police?!”
              “Yea, they just left. But I’m so scared. Can you come by, please?”

When initially my tears were phony, real tears began to flow as I anticipated his response.

I wanted this man so desperately that I held my breath until he finally answered, “I’m down the street. Be there in a second.”

Omari

“Ow, Omari! That burns!”

              “Its alcohol. It’s supposed to burn,” I told Simone as I softly pinched her exposed stomach. “Stop acting like a baby. Why didn’t you go to the hospital anyway?”

             
“Its just two gashes. No use in racking up hospital bills over it.”
              Simone and I were in her bathroom. She had finally showered and changed. It took me about two hours to calm her down, clean up the living room, and get all of the glass out of the carpet.

             
I couldn’t believe that Jimmy got into her house. That nigga was crazy. Simone said she was going to be sure to get an ADT system the next day.

             
While I was on my knees in front of Simone in the bathroom cleaning her wounds and bandaging them, I felt like shit. I didn’t want to be there. I had to come check on her though. I would have been an asshole if I didn’t. But as she sat on the toilet in her bra and panties, I couldn’t help but feel something for her that I didn’t want to. I liked Simone, but I didn’t want to anymore. I liked her, but I loved my girl, which was why I was sure to keep my distance.

             
“All right. I’m done.”

             
As I stood up, Simone looked up at me with the sexiest smile on her face. Even after crying her eyes out for two hours, she still had that passive appeal in her smile that drove me crazy.

             
“I’m tired,” she said as I looked into her eyes, fighting my hard dick. “I need to go to bed.”

             
“C’mon. I’ll tuck you in before I leave,” I said with a laugh.

             
“Thank you so much for coming to help me,” she told me as we walked out of the bathroom. As I followed her down the hall, I fought not to watch her ass as she switched in front of me in bikini panties. “I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared.”

             
Her room was dark as we walked inside. Being a man of my word, I tucked her in. I made sure that she was comfortable, putting the blankets over her. Though the room was dark, I could see her face from the light in the hallway. She was staring me in my eyes with the weirdest look on her face.

             
“Why didn’t you tell me that you had a girlfriend?”

             
That threw me for a loop. I didn’t know what the fuck to say. I just stood there with this dumbass look on my face.

             
But shorty deserved the truth. She was a good girl, and I was tired of being a ain’t shit nigga. “How do you know about Aeysha?”

             
“Me and Aeysha know the same people.”

That scared me. I know the concerned showed all over my face because Simone then said, “Don’t worry. I didn’t say anything about us fucking around.”

She left it at that and so did I.

             
I sat on her bed to be close to her. I wanted Simone to know that I genuinely liked her. I was tired of hurting people and just wanted everyone in my life to be all right.

             
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know when to tell you about Aeysha. I honestly liked you and wanted the opportunity to get to know you. I never expected to get feelings for you. When I did, I decided not to be selfish anymore and let you go so that you could have the kinda man you deserve.”

             
Simone sat up and put her hand in mine. “But you’re who I deserve, Omari. I want you. I need you.”

             
I sighed heavily because I felt so stuck. Yea, I was feeling Simone before, but I loved my bitch to death. Naw, I didn’t want to be selfish and have Simone on the side. But most importantly, I didn’t want Aeysha finding out about Simone.

             
I could not give this chick what her eyes were telling me she wanted so bad.

             
“I know how to play my role.” Simone convinced my confusion in the sweetest voice as she came towards me. “I don’t care about Aeysha. I just want to be with you.”

             
I was speechless because her hand was on my dick, rubbing it through my basketball shorts with every word she said. When I tried to speak, she kissed me and used her body to lay mine down on the bed.

             
I swear to God my heart was with Aeysha. I didn’t want to be with nobody else but that girl. However, it was so fucking hard for me to tell Simone no with her soft hands pulling my dick out of my shorts. I damn near came in her mouth as soon her lips were wrapped around it. That girl sucked dick with greed. She had an appetite for dick that was gluttonous and insatiable. It’s like she ravished the dick. She sucked my dick so good while stroking it with both hands that I felt violated. I wanted to tell her to stop, but when she drenched my dick with her mouth’s juices, I couldn’t fight the urge to fuck that pussy.