Secrets of a Side Bitch 2 (2 page)

“What the fuck?”

I was so thrown off that my words left my lips in a whisper. My mouth hit the floor as I continued to look under the floorboard, wishing that the cocaine would appear in front of my eyes out of thin air. I even reached my hands inside, to feel around the corners of the hiding place that I’d created for the bricks, but there was nothing.

“
Shit
!”

I was freaking out. The two bricks that I copped the day before were gone.
Except for a thousand dollars, that was last of the twenty-five thousand dollars that Simone had given me.

Without them bricks, I was ass out.

“Marlin! Yo’, Marlin!”

I was yelling for my roommate
, as I stood from the floor in the closet of my bedroom and ran out. I knew that he was somewhere in the basement apartment that we’d been sharing for the last month.

I didn
’t even really know this nigga. After killing Aeysha, I left Chicago like Simone told me to. I ended up in Minnesota, where most niggas went when they wanted to come up. For weeks, I stayed at a Best Western motel until I got cool with this nigga, Marlin, who I often ran into at a bar across the street from the motel. Once he found out that I was living in the motel, he offered me a place to sleep until I got a crib.

But
I couldn’t get a crib until I had some steady income. I was sitting on twenty-five g’s that had been slowly dwindling by the day. I had to flip my bread and flip it quick. At that same bar, I had become cool with a few local niggas who I knew were serving. Last week, one of them supplied me with two kilos of cocaine that I planned to flip into at least sixty thousand dollars.

Besides the
dude that I bought them from, Marlin was the only other person that knew that I had the drugs.

When I saw Marlin in his bedroom playing X-Box, I lost my fucking mind.

“Marlin, what the fuck happened to my shit, man?!”

I stepped on and over everything in my path; knocking over cups, end tables, and whatever else was in my way.

I was seeing red. Those kilos were the only thing left to my name. Without them, I was broke, homeless, and with nothing.

I was so pissed that I grabbed Marlin by the collar and shook him like a ragdoll without even thin
king. I was so pissed that I didn’t even pay attention to the dude that was in the room playing Madden with him, until he was standing behind me putting a gun to my head.

“Hands off of him, nigga.”

Instantly, I raised my hands in surrender. Immediately, I bitched up in order to save my life and get my bricks back.

“I just want to know where my shit is.”

With a conniving smile, Marlin asked, “What shit?”

And
just that quick, I forgot about the gun that was being pointed at my head.

I charged towards Marlin
, shouting to the point that I was slobbering as the words rushed out of my throat. “My fucking drugs! Where are they…”

Whack
!

Buddy
standing behind me had ended my rage by slamming the butt of his pistol against my jaw.

Instantly, I felt the side of my face swell as I fought the urge to pass out
. It was all that I could do to continue to stand on my own two feet.

“Man,
Marlin, let me shoot this clown!”

Now the
gun was pointing directly at my head as this motherfucka mean mugged the fuck outta me while biting down hard on his lip.

Marlin laughed. “Calm down. He
ain’t on shit. Are you, Chance?”

I couldn
’t even talk. The pain in my face was crazy. Besides, there were two of them, plus a gun, against me; a no name nigga in their hood with no money and nobody to have my back.

“Consider them
bricks gone and yourself homeless. Get the fuck out of my crib. And quickly, before this trigger happy nigga kills you.”

There
wasn’t shit that I could do but get shot if I wanted to put up a fight. Defeat filled my heart like a punk ass fifth grader. This nigga had punked me out of everything that I had, and there wasn’t shit that I could do but get the fuck up out of his crib.

I
hurried into the bedroom where I had been temporarily sleeping and grabbed what few belongings I had.

I had to get out of Chicago so fast that I wasn
’t even able to pack a lot of my things. Most of my clothes and possessions were left abandoned at the transitional housing that I moved into after I was released from Lexington House. Since I was keeping small contact with Simone, I asked her to try to get my things from there. She insisted that it would look too suspicious and told me to consider it all a loss since officials at the transitional house considered them abandoned and me a runaway.

Therefore, I had nothing but what I
’d picked up here and there while in Minnesota; which was nothing but a cell phone, an iPod, a few outfits, and a few pairs of kicks.

I hurried out of the back door of the basement apartment; praying that them niggas wouldn
’t change their minds and come after me. Running up on Marlin was a mistake. I didn’t know him from Adam, so I damn sure didn’t know his willingness to pop me for putting my hands on him.

I felt played as I lightly jogged down the alley. It was cold as fuck outside. I was
used to Chicago winters, but Minnesota’s cold had an arctic touch to it that was unbearable without layers of long johns and a North Face.

Once I got
to the corner, I reached for my phone. There was nobody to call though. I wasn’t fucking with a chick that I could go spend the night with. I had no other homeboys.

Without them bricks, I only had a thousand bucks and nowhere to live. I couldn
’t afford to rent a room at even the shabbiest motel because I still had to eat. After a week, I would be broke.

I had no other choice; I had to head back to
Chicago.

After three months, I was finally ready to face Ching. I knew that he wouldn
’t cop to killing Aeysha, especially at the County during visiting hours with so many guards and listening ears around. I just wanted to be able to look that son of a bitch in his eyes when I told him that I was going to make sure that, if he didn’t end up with life for killing Ron Johnson, my intent was on ending his.

I waited along with damn near a hundred other people in a room that smelled like an old basement. The room was filled with young chicks, crying babies, bad ass toddlers, and elderly women with stress in their eyes because they were waiting to see their sons. I was the only person with a lack of remorse or sadness in my expression. I looked like death because I wanted to kill
the motherfucker that came walking coolly towards me in a grey jumpsuit.

I guess County food had gotten the best of Ching. He was much slimmer than the last time I saw him. I guess dry ass bologna sandwiches weren
’t an acquired taste for a punk ass nigga like him.

“Pretty Boy,
whad up?”

Ching tried to hide his surprise to see
that I was the person there to visit him. It didn’t shock me at all that he had the balls to actually sit across from me at the table as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Funny seeing you here…”

“Cut the bullshit, motherfucka.”

Ching slightly laughed at my hostility. Yet, I could see a bit of shock behind his tired and weary eyes. “Damn.
You done turned gangsta overnight?”

“You know I never did claim to be a gangsta...”

“But?”

“But you definitely helped turn me into a killa.”

Ching tried to act like my words didn’t faze him. He tried to continue to sit there looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. But I saw it. I saw the worry in the back of his mind that wondered what I was capable of. After Aeysha’s murder, I was a different motherfucker. The man that was sitting in front of him wasn’t the same nigga that was scared of getting his hands dirty. I was angrier, colder.

He saw that shit.

“What’s your point?”

“Point is, if you get off on this murder, it
’s a bullet on the other side of these walls waiting on yo’ ass for killing Aeysha.”

There
was a possibility that Ching might be released. Word on the street was that his attorney was trying to get the charges dropped because of lack of physical evidence.

Ching
’s eyes bucked in response to my deadly threat. He snickered, like I was a joke and had nerve to threaten him. Prior to his arrest, Ching had sold drugs for years without much trouble at all. He never had trouble with the law, never got caught for possession. The block boys rarely had trouble. There were robberies here and there, but they got swept under the rug quick by eliminating the problem at the head, like Ching did Ron.

But he
’d never had a nigga coming directly at his head.

I planned
to be that nigga if he ever saw the free world again.

“Killing Aeysha?
Man, I heard rumors that you were putting it in the streets that I killed her, but I never believed it. Nephew…”

I interrupted him by leaning in closely and aggressively whispering, “Don
’t call me that shit!”

Quickly, I sat back because my suspicious movements caught the attention of one of the guards. Now, I had her full attention, and she was
closely watching the exchange between me and Ching.

“Man, dawg,
are you serious?” Ching was looking at me like he couldn’t believe it. He was putting on a hell of a front.

“Dead serious.
You didn’t have to kill her. I wasn’t gon’ say shit. I gave you my word.”

I couldn
’t believe it when he calmly replied, “I know.”

This nigga was such a stunt that it wasn
’t even funny.  It disgusted me that he had the balls to kill my woman, but those same balls were nonexistent when it came to fessing up to it.

For weeks
he called me a fuck boy and pussy ass nigga because he thought I would crumble under the pressure of the investigation of Ron’s murder. But now, here he was acting like a fuck boy when the pussy nigga in me had turned into an animal ready to attack his bitch ass for what he’d done.

“I know I started actin
’ fucked up towards you when the shit hit the fan about Ron’s murder. I said a lot of fucked up shit to you, but it was only to scare you. I wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t talk, so I put a little fear in you.”

“By killing Aeysha
!”

“
No. That wasn’t me. I …”

Ching was still talking but I couldn
’t hear him. The fact that he would fold into a coward was offending the shit outta me. He was tough enough to put me in the middle of a murder. He was heartless enough to kill my woman to keep me quiet. But suddenly he couldn’t be a man and tell me to my face that he killed Aeysha.

I
’d had enough. I stood from the table and walked away without another word.

I could hear him calling after me
. “Nephew! Nephew, come back. Real talk.”

B
ut I kept walking. I couldn’t afford to get into it with that nigga in that jail. Not only did I want to stay non-confrontational in front of the guards, but I had to remember that I was still an accessory to Ron’s murder. If I wanted to stay a free man, I couldn’t draw attention to myself by getting into an altercation with Ching.

I knew that, since he had yet to do so, Ching wasn
’t going to snitch on my involvement in Ron’s murder. He lived by a street code so intense that he would do a bid for that murder and allow me to walk the streets free. Unfortunately, it was that same code that made him feel like it was okay to kill the love of my life.

The biting January air outside of the County building smacked me in the face, but it wasn
’t nearly as cold as my heart. I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my Pelle and braced myself against the strong winds as I walked back to my Challenger with hatred in my heart for the man that practically raised me.

“This dick feel good to you, baby?”

Rae was panting into my ear while delivering
deliberate and extensive strokes inside my tight pussy. Rae was on top of me, missionary style, as my thick chocolate legs spread across the bed, allowing for deeper and more intense penetration.

Rae had forced my arms above my head. To keep me from fighting the dick, Rae
’s fingers were intertwined amongst mine as I was delivered steady profound strokes that, with a slow rhythm, reached the bottom of my pussy.

“Huh? You like this dick?”

Against my will, I surrendered to Rae’s shit talking for the sake of making this fuck session go swift and smooth.

In a flirtatious tone, full of fake moans of pleasure, I allowed, “Yes, baby
”, to escape my lips as convincingly as I could.

“Tell me how much you like it
.”

Behind Rae
’s head, I rolled my eyes. Again, I mustered up the sweetest sexiest voice as I replied, “I don’t like it. I
love
it.”

“You love me?”

“Of course, I love you.”

Those three words were all that Rae needed to hear to just shut up and fuck. She, yes,
she
, then focused on fucking me with the fat eight-inch lambskin strap-on with such intensity that I could swear that she was trying to sexually assault this pussy.

I made a mental note to fake an orgasm in two minutes.

Sex with Rae use to be the bomb. Three years ago, when we met at Sunset, where I dance, the closest I had come to somebody else’s pussy was freak shit that I pretended to do on stage with another dancer. Yet, at the age of twenty-two, I was easily persuaded by this smooth soft stud that used her feminine beauty, plus masculine aggression, to turn me into a dyke that catered to her for the next three years.

Rae had been
my everything, and I hers. She was a beautiful fair-skinned woman with long locs dyed a dark brownish red. The color popped off her beautifully sculpted face perfectly. She had an awesome body that she often hid under baggy jeans, wife beaters, and Timberlands. Though a beautiful twenty-three year old woman, Rae had turned into a very ugly person over the years.

As a teen, she tried to hide her interest in women.
She wasn’t open about her interests; even though by looking at her, it was obvious. She wasn’t “out”. She didn’t have gay friends, and she wasn’t part of that community. I truly believed that she wasn’t comfortable being open about her sexuality because, the one time that she was, she was rejected. Her family disowned her at the age of sixteen, upon her admission of her sexuality and interest in being transgendered. That abandonment, coupled with the confusion of her sexuality, had slowly turned her into an individual that was very insecure, paranoid, and desperate for love.

She was an adoring and loving man trapped in a beautiful woman
’s body that was madly in love with a woman that had never even been in a lesbian relationship before. All of that ratchetness had taken the spontaneity out of this relationship for me.

I was tired of her insecurities and ready for some real dick.

Finally, I decided that it was time to fake my way out of Rae being on top of me.

“Ooo, shit!
I’m cumming,” was followed by a bunch of curse words, soft growling, and light scratches on Rae’s back until I lay still, huffing and puffing, as if that orgasm took everything out of me. I even made my body convulse suddenly, like the orgasm was still coming down and shocking me.

Rae giggled in delight, kissed me quickly on the lips
, and pulled the rubber dick out of me. After unfastening the strap-on and taking it off, she spooned with me so tightly that I could feel her perspiration leaking into my pores. I noticed that, like always, she wasn’t holding me in a loving or emotional way. I wasn’t lying intimately in her arms. She was holding me captive, wanting to know every time I moved or if I left the bed as she slept.

Just the thought made me laugh at the situation in embarrassing humor.

“What’s so funny?”

Instantly, I replied, “Nothing, Rae.
Just thought of something.”

I could feel her sitting up and, even in the darkness, could see her staring at me. “Thought of what?”

“Nothing, babe.”

She grabbed me by the arm and forced me to turn over and look at her. Despite the fact that we were in the darkness, the moonlight shone on her face so I could see the fact that she was actually getting angry.

I smacked my lips and snatched away from her. “Nothing damn! Go to bed.”

She was crazy as hell!

At first, it was cute. At first, Rae’s obsessive-compulsive attention and clinginess was perfect. Prior to meeting Rae, I had never been in a relationship that gave me real happiness. My only experience was being with men with no loyalty, honesty, or commitment, who eventually fucked me over to the point of unbelievable heartbreak.

I was born and raised in
the Cabrini Green Projects. As soon as I turned eighteen, I started dancing and moved to an apartment complex in Chatham. Living a hard life with niggas whose loyalty was only for the streets, and never for a woman, was embedded in me.

When
I met Rae, she was a breath of fresh air. She was the masculinity and protection that my single ass needed. Since she was a woman, she knew exactly what to give me in addition to that; loyalty, affection, and commitment.

In turn, I had given Rae something that she
’d never had either: love. I was the family that she got kicked out of. I was the lover that she could never find. I was the friend that she never had because she was so different in a world that didn’t understand her.

The more I gave her that love
and the more I gave her that family, the more she was erratically intent on keeping it. All while I was seriously ready for yet another breath of fresh air.