Secrets of a Former Fat Girl (18 page)

You could use the standard strategy of bringing leftovers to work, but that method isn't foolproof. You still have to deal with the temptation posed by a platter of tantalizing break room snacks (see previous doughnut anecdote). No, despite the fact that it goes against everything our mothers taught us, wastefulness is the way to go. After all, are you going for sainthood or Former Fat Girlhood? And if you're on a budget and this feels wasteful, think about the extra bucks you'll have to spend later on a health club membership or weight loss program.

Put your mind where your mouth is.

Really
getting in touch with why you eat can help you start shutting down your appetite when it's had enough. For instance, I bet you would say you eat because you like food. It makes you feel good. It comforts you when you're sad, tired, stressed, or lonely. And I believe you. But that's not the whole story. Have you ever thought that on some level maybe you're using food to punish yourself, too? Your Fat Girl programming drives you to eat anything and everything, overriding all common sense, all vanity, all ego, all the qualities you might respect in yourself. (I have dug around for food in the
trash
, for God's sake!) Why else would you continue to eat when you know you're full, when you don't even like what you're putting in your mouth, when you know that what you're doing is unhealthy physically and emotionally? I love food. I love reading about it, trying new dishes, and discovering new recipes and techniques. I have loved food since I was a kid. But for a long time I couldn't distinguish between a healthy passion for food and an unhealthy drive to eat. I used my love of food to justify abusing myself with it. It's kind of like some women I know who refuse to stop wearing three-inch heels despite the fact that they end up in agony at the end of the day.

Okay, so where does that leave you? You need to start thinking about what you're putting in your mouth and
what's in it for you
. Think about all the good things food does for you: It satisfies your physical hunger, gives you all kinds of good nutrients, and—just as important—pampers you, treats you, pats you on the back, serves as a kind of gustatory hug. Anything you eat, whether it's an apple or a potato chip, a burger or a bonbon, can do good things for you. What matters more than how many fat grams it has or how many calories it packs is
why
you're eating it. Start asking: “What will [insert food here] do
for
me?” You'll be surprised at how many times the answer is “Nothing.” Simply asking that question over and over again until it becomes a reflex (which it will) is a major first step. Soon you'll find yourself, believe it or not, walking away from the buffet table, walking away from that platter of cookies in the break room, and stopping your hand midair as you reach for a glob of icing on the cake plate.

Here's an example: Living in Texas, I ate at a lot of Mexican restaurants where they served unlimited (there's that word again) baskets of tortilla chips and salsa. I had and still have a particular fondness for chips that are folded over flat like little smushed taco shells. Because they were my favorites, I'd paw through the basket to find the folded chips (rude, I know) and eat them first. Once they were gone, I'd move on to the substandard ones, the curved ones, the flat ones, whatever. But when I started asking myself, “What will these chips do
for
me?” I figured out that the folded chips were the ones I really wanted; the rest of them were second-rate. I was eating them for the hell of it, because they were there. So I made a rule: I would eat
only
folded chips. If there happened to be five in the basket, I could eat five. If there were zero, tough luck. To this day if you go to eat Mexican food with me, you'll see me digging for those folded chips. I only pray that no one starts selling entire bags of folded chips, as they do broken pretzels and muffin tops and doughnut holes, or there might be a sequel to this book (
Former Fat Girl No More: The Great Tortilla Chip Debacle
).

The Obstacle: The Confusing, Complicated, and
Ultimately Aggravating Portion Control Issue

In this land of bigger is better (with the exception of bellies, butts, and thighs), we have lost all perspective on how much a “normal” portion is. How do you downsize your expectations? Try my fixes.

Former Fat Girl Fixes

Become a label reader.

The Nutrition Facts labels on packaged foods tell you everything you need to know about what's inside, and then some. The sheer volume of data can be overwhelming, but there are a few key facts to pay attention to:

• Serving size: Very important. All the info on the rest of the label—the number of calories, fat grams, fiber, etc.—are keyed to the serving size. Look for this tidbit of info just under the Nutrition Facts heading.
  
• Calories: Remember that the number of calories listed in this spot relates to the specified serving size. I don't mean to nag you about this, but it can get tricky. For instance, some things that appear to be single-serving packages (such as bags of chips, muffins, and even microwavable soup) are actually meant to serve more than one. So don't make any assumptions: Check the serving size and then look at the calories. You don't want to work your way through a “Big Grab” bag of potato chips—even if they're Baked Lays—only to find out that you've eaten twice as many calories as you intended.
  
• Total Fat/% of Daily Value: The number of fat grams isn't as important as how much of your total daily fat allowance you're spending on a serving. Look for this figure in the right column just opposite the Total Fat figure. The percentage of Daily Value is based on a 2,000-calorie-per-day diet, so you'll have to adjust down if you're trying to consume fewer calories. Checking this number will help you decide if you really want to use half of your daily allowance on a honey bun from the vending machine.
  
• Saturated Fat and Trans Fat: These fats, listed as subcategories under the Total Fat line, may contribute to heart disease. Try to keep them as low as possible. Your total daily saturated fat allowance is 20 grams, so even 4 grams is a substantial amount. Right now there is no established limit on trans fat, but dietitians suggest keeping your intake as low as possible—zero if you can manage it.
  
• Fiber: The fiber figure is hard to find on labels. It's listed as a subcategory under Total Carbohydrate. But don't miss it. Fiber can help keep you feeling fuller longer (not to mention help prevent all kinds of diseases, like heart disease and cancers), and most women don't get nearly enough. Look for cereals and breads with at least 3 grams per serving, and eat lots of veggies to make your daily quota of 25 grams.
  
• Protein: Usually at the end of the main list on labels, protein is also a great appetite satisfier. The “% of Daily Value” just opposite the number of protein grams can give you an idea of whether the item you're looking at packs a good amount of protein because it's hard to tell from the number of grams. For instance, I don't know from 16 grams of protein, but when I see that it's 32 percent of my daily quota, that sounds pretty good.
  

Write it down, write it
all
down.

I know you're gonna hate this one as much as I did, and I would spare you if I could. But you've got to do it. You've got to write every bite down in a little book or on your Blackberry or somewhere so you know how many calories you're eating each day. That's the only way to tell if you're taking in more than you're burning off—and that, despite other diet gurus' attempts to convince you differently, is the only scientifically proven way to lose weight. Knowing that one serving of linguine is one cup and about 200 calories or that a serving of bread is one slice (not two) will be a major reality check because you know you can't trust yourself to stop when you're full like everybody else. (Remember,
you are not like other people
.) You need to compensate for that. Asking yourself what you're getting out of each bite is a start, but knowing what that bite will cost you in terms of calories might just give you the strength to walk away. You won't have to do it forever, I promise. Eventually, you'll be able to eyeball a bowl of cereal and know exactly when to stop pouring. But until that happens, be strong. Use my guidelines on Chapter 5 to help you size up your servings. (One trick: I used cup measures instead of serving spoons to help me keep my perspective.) Document for at least three months. If that sounds like a long time, consider this: I did it for over a year, until I felt like I could trust myself not to cheat. Even when you think you've got it down, pull out that scale or ruler and check yourself every couple of months to help stay on track.

No fat, low fat, full fat—treat all treats the same.

In most cases, low-fat and no-fat versions of treats like cookies and snack cakes pack the same number of calories as the full fat version, or only slightly fewer. Many manufacturers pump up the sugar to help distract your taste buds from the missing fat. So don't think you can eat three low-fat Chips Ahoy instead of two regular ones unless the label says differently. And if the number of calories is similar, think hard about whether you want to buy the low-fat product at all. Low fat may mean low quality (although we've come a long way from that pasty excuse for cheese that I had in the mid to late 80s). The last thing you want to do is end up stuffing yourself with some lame low-fat cookies to satisfy a craving when you could have had one or two of what you really wanted for fewer calories.

Identify your addiction and take special control measures.

I think I've said it before, at least a couple of times: I love any food whose first ingredient is flour: bread, bagels, yeast rolls, soft pretzels, pasta, pizza crust (the sauce and cheese are nice touches, but I'm really in it for the crust). My secret dream is to one day go to France and become an apprentice bread maker. I could exist completely on sesame seed bagels with a thin smear of light cream cheese and strawberry jam. Can I stop now? Do you get it? Me plus bread equals love.

I knew when I started Weight Watchers that I'd have the most trouble cutting back on my friends from the bakery. And why was that? Because it was the baked goods, beyond all other foods, that I was most likely to overeat. So after the first six weeks on the diet, when I was allowed to increase my daily allotment of bread portions from six to eight, I held steady at six. I knew I had to break my addiction to bread and force myself to play the field, to learn to enjoy the company of other consumables. And I did. I became fond of all kinds of vegetables I had previously avoided in pursuit of my passion: zucchini, yellow squash, and green and red peppers. My salads were a farmer's market menagerie of at least seven kinds of veggies. I ate broccoli every day in salads, as a topper for potatoes, or just plain steamed on the side, maybe with a little soy sauce. I still have a soft spot for bread; to this day I keep an eye on my portions, particularly of pasta and pizza.

You know what food or foods you crave. You know what your downfall is, the thing you've missed most when you've dieted in the past, the thing you turn to when you're stressed or celebrating, or just letting go. Your challenge right now is to limit what you love—not cut it out completely; that would sabotage your Former Fat Girl quest. You need to set a strict limit, a challenging limit, and stick to it. For instance, if your love is chocolate, allow yourself one small piece a day, no more. And watch what happens: First, you will begin to appreciate chocolate even more. It will become a real treat, something you look forward to and savor as never before. You'll experience its flavor and texture more intensely. It is the old absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder thing.

If you're cutting back drastically on a food that had been a major source of calories in your diet, you'll start to see results on the scale. So, to carry my chocolate example further, if you're used to snacking from the bowl of M&Ms on your desk all day and cut back to one pack (the 1.69-ounce size, not the half-pound bag), you'll save about 700 calories. That is nothing to sneeze at. If you bank 700 calories every day, you'll lose almost 6 pounds in one month!

Don't skip the appetizers.