Secrets of a Chalet Girl (6 page)

But then Tom had punched her and her world had tilted on its axis.

“Hi there, dirty stop-out!” Tash was slipping into her ski boots outside Chalet Repos, her skis propped up against a wall. “Didn’t expect to see you back so soon. Why aren’t you still holed up with the stud from last night?”

Flora shrugged, kicking at a bit of ice at the side of the path.

“Like that is it? Fancy joining us?” Tash asked, bending over to snap the boots into place. “We’re all doing the run over to Italy, to Courmayeur for lunch.” It sounded like the perfect distraction. “Sounds like a plan. Just give me a chance to get changed.”

Fresh air and sunshine had to help, surely?

“You’ve got at least ten minutes I reckon. The others are on a go-slow after last night. There are some sore heads in there. And baby Lexie woke everyone up at five am too. Still, it’s such a great forecast and the fresh air should blow the cobwebs and bad tempers away.”

Flora raced to the dorm room, getting changed as quickly as she could in the small space considering Amelia and Sophie were also getting dressed. She did her best to deflect their questions about Zac. The email from Cathy was burning a hole in her pocket but there was no time to act on it. Truth be told she was scared to open it. As long as she didn’t read it she could hope it might be good news, an olive branch email.

Finally, while they were standing in the snow, waiting for the telecabine, she decided she had to open the email. She took her phone out of the pocket of her ski jacket and opened the email. Almost immediately she wished she hadn’t.

She stared at the screen, frozen to the spot even though the queue had moved on, barely noticing the mutterings of the people behind her.

“Hey, earth to Flora. What’s up?” Tash pulled on her elbow, propelling her forward on her skis. Flora was taken by surprise and almost fell over backwards into a snowdrift, only just managing to right herself in time.

“I’ve changed my mind. I just want to sit back in one of the deckchairs at the canteen and get some sun. I don’t feel up to a big day out and I’ve got some emails to do.”

She clutched her phone tightly, waving it as though to make her point and feeling a tad unhinged. How could she even start to process this latest assault?

“Are you sure?” Tash seemed distracted, looking ahead at the rest of the gang. She clearly wanted to go, not act as a nursemaid to Flora. It would be selfish to ask her to stay.

“Go on. I’ll be fine.” Flora forced a smile and waved Tash off.

Liar.

She snapped out of her skis and put them into a rack, her hands shaking. Then she joined the other sunbathers and skiers taking a break, sinking down onto a bright red canteen deckchair. She shaded the screen of her phone from the sunshine so she could re-read the email. There was no ‘dear’ or even a ‘Hi’ at the start of the email. Just the plain stark facts with lashings of screaming subtext.

‘Dad died of a heart attack yesterday morning. The doctors said that stress was a major contributor. I hope you think the price you paid to go off and ‘find yourself’ was worth it.’

The unfairness of it was a vicious kick to the kidneys.

Tears rolled down behind Flora’s sunglasses and onto her cheeks. She tried to cry silently so she wouldn’t draw attention to herself.

She’d been fond of Bob, he’d been so much more fatherly than her own dad and a kind boss to work for, however much she’d found the work boring. It’d been Bob who’d shown her how to change the oil in her car and how to use a power drill to put up pictures.

My fault. My fault. My fault…

She almost choked on her sobs, the breath catching in her chest, her body flooded with grief as the tears streamed down her cheeks. It didn’t seem to matter she hadn’t had a choice. Everyone hated her. Tom’s mum would blame her too. Margaret had already railed at her for ‘breaking my poor Tom’s heart.’

She’d never been able to tell them about Tom punching her. Whether it was from irrational shame and shock or genuine pity and desire to prevent further grief she didn’t know. It was probably a mixture of all of the above. All she knew for sure was that when she tried to talk about it the words just wouldn’t come.

And all she’d cared about at the time was getting away. She’d been certain they would always back Tom over her.

Looks like I was right…

Of course they had. They’d never really been
her
family.

She couldn’t summon up enough embarrassment to check the tears running down her cheeks. Her fighting spirit had been crushed and at that moment she felt more lost than she ever had. She thought she’d bottomed out months ago. It went to show you could never let your guard down. The next shock or slap in the face might be just around the corner.

“Hey Flora.” She heard Zac’s voice before she saw him, her vision too blurred with tears. He touched her lightly on the arm. “I was about to get a coffee and sit in the sun. I see you’ve had the same idea.”

Then he fell quiet, she guessed he’d seen the tears escaping from beneath her sunglasses.

“What’s wrong?” He frowned at her. “Is this about last night?”

“No…oo,” she choked out an answer through her sobs.

He crouched down next to her and with embarrassment she realised she couldn’t control her sobs. The tears kept pouring out.

The dam had well and truly burst and she couldn’t do a thing about it.

“I’m, s … s … sorry.” She looked into his face, the compassion she saw there only made her feel even worse.

Great way to make an impression. So much for playing it cool.

“Hey.” Zac pulled her sunglasses off and when he saw her face he sank down onto his knees in the snow, pulling her closely to his chest.

She let him hold her, feeling limper than a rag doll. All the breath had been knocked out of her by the email, the bereavement, the blame…

I should be able to deal with this. I will deal with it. But right now, right this second, I can’t.

“What’s up?” He pulled back a little to examine her face.

She stared wordlessly at him, aware of the other canteen clientele staring at them but too distraught to pull herself together.

Great! I haven’t cried for months and I choose here and now to have a mini meltdown?

Where on earth did she start?

“It’s complicated.” She sniffed, grimacing in acknowledgement of the cliché but more concerned about whether she could find a tissue for her runny nose in any of her pockets. Looking like crap in front of Zac was clearly
de rigeur
.

“I’ve got time for complicated, I’m not going anywhere,” he replied, his eyes serious, searching her face as though looking for clues of how he could solve her.

He likes me…

The thought flashed into her mind, jolting her and making her senses tingle. The realisation sent a ray of light into her murky thoughts. With everyone in her old life either hating her like Cathy or indifferent like her parents, having someone like Zac actively seeking her out felt like a life raft on this ocean of turbulent emotions.

“Can we go back to your chalet?” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she’d had time to talk herself out of it. She needed to feel wanted and affirmed. She needed Zac to distract her if today wasn’t going to be a total disaster. She should never have run away this morning.

And she had a pretty good idea how he might be able to do it.

“Okay. Do you need to put your skis in a locker? I can take them for you if you like?”

“Thank you.” Flora was profoundly grateful; relieved he cared enough to take her on with her mess, runny nose and all. Because, she had to face it – yesterday she’d been trying, pretty unsuccessfully to channel her inner sex kitten but today her inner neurotic was running the show. And why exactly had she overacted and fled earlier?

I really need to get my head together.

“I’m so sorry,” Flora apologised when Zac returned, feeling wretched.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Something’s clearly wrong and you don’t need to be ashamed of your reaction. Bottling it all up is what messes with your head.”

“Oh. Are you talking from experience?” She looked up at him. They’d discarded their ski gloves and he laced his fingers through hers.

“Yes, I’m talking from experience,” Zac replied shortly. She waited but he said nothing more.

Clearly he was of the ‘strong and silent’ mould. Well that worked for her.

Electricity crackled between them again and the familiar gut churning anticipation mingled with unease. She wasn’t sure which element was the most powerful.

She wondered what lay behind Zac’s comment. He seemed so sorted, as though he had everything worked out and might be able to help her figure it out too.

Yet everything inside her screamed at her to keep him at arm’s length. She couldn’t cope with anything heavy right now. Or ever, in fact…

Independence remember?

Sod independence for the next few hours. She wanted company. Needed to experience her body fused with another’s, to feel connected and affirmed.

To feel alive.

Once in the chalet she stripped off her jacket and boots, walking in her socks straight to the bedroom. She didn’t want time to change her mind.

Wordlessly she tugged at fastenings and zips.

Zac watched her, hesitating before stripping, his expression impassive but his eyes dark with desire. “Are you sure? Don’t you need to talk first?”

“No.” She looked at him, pleadingly. “I need this first. Please?”

God, this is the second time I’ve begged him for sex. So classy!

But she didn’t feel humiliated, this felt okay, natural almost.

“Come here then.” He beckoned her over and she went, willing, if only for a few hours, to let him take control. Maybe he’d do a better job of it than her.

Undoubtedly.

He tugged her long-sleeved T-shirt over her head and pulled her into his arms. Then he kissed her, trailing his lips down to her neck and chest, sucking and teasing at her nipples through the lacy fabric of her bra. They stiffened in response, making her desperate to be pressed against him, skin against skin.

Her hands slid over his chest, caressing his already familiar flesh. His muscles felt solid and reassuring. She grinned at him as he undid her bra clasp and soon they were pulling at clothes, throwing off every vestige of clothing.

They explored each other, running hands over curves and muscle, fingers entangled in hair, pulling and tugging closer, groaning with desire.

When Zac slid a hand up to caress her between her legs, dipping two fingers inside her, she was already dripping wet. He teased her with his thumb and she groaned, arching towards him and sighing with pleasure when he clasped one of her breasts. It felt deliciously carnal and liberating to ignore all her anxieties and reservations. Like dancing naked on a lawn, ignoring a sign telling her to ‘keep off the grass.’

Just for a few hours.

Their breathing was laboured and ragged, their pupils dilated and their focus entirely on each other’s body.

She reached down to caress his erection and he jerked to her touch.

“Please,” she half begged, half groaned. “I need…”

What do I need?

She wasn’t sure but all her instincts lead her to Zac, vaulting the doubts and reservations that would no doubt launch a counter attack later. But what the hell? They weren’t in control now.

Make me forget.

He backed her towards the edge of the bed and firmly pushed her down, spreading her legs with the palms of his hands and pulling her wide open in front of him. The daylight made it impossible to hide. She didn’t care. She wanted it. Wanted him. Wanted to blot out the pain.

She closed her eyes, the darkness intensifying the sensation of Zac’s lips on her thighs. Moaning softly she lay back on the bed, spreading her arms out and opening herself, uncurling and blossoming to the touch of his tongue.

As the kisses trailed higher up her thighs she tensed a little but tried to override her fear, making no move to stop him. After a pause he continued to kiss higher up, licking and caressing her sex, tongue teasing.

She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t meet the connection she experienced whenever their eyes locked. She focused instead on the sweet pleasure throbbing between her legs, piercing her and splitting her in two as she bucked beneath his tongue and climaxed.

She kept her eyes shut when she heard the rip of a foil packet and felt his erection brush her thigh.

“Look at me.” Zac’s words were quiet but insistent.

Reluctantly she opened her eyes, her gaze meeting his and then dropping to where he had positioned himself at her sex. It turned her on to see him erect and clearly desiring her.

“You’re okay Flora, you’re okay.” He whispered and the tight vice around her heart loosened its grip. Tension and air released from her lungs in a deep sigh. She raised her legs to hook them around his hips, pulling him into her, gasping when he entered her hard and deep.

She met every thrust with passion, eyes wide open, feeling freer with each stroke, the rhythm producing a steady hum in her clit and the deep angle creating sensations she’d never felt before.

Is this my G-spot waking up?

Previously undiscovered nerve endings tingled and throbbed inside her, caressed and massaged with every thrust.

Zac put a hand under her bottom and squeezed. He held her so firmly she had no option but to grip him even harder.

Then she came for a second time but this was a longer ride, her whole body taken over by the tide of endorphins sweeping away her sadness as he tensed and cried out, reaching his climax at the same time as she came.

Flora was a puzzle. It was as though Zac had to look at her out of the corner of his eye because if he faced her head-on then the real, genuine girl he was coming to like very much would vanish. She seemed so easily spooked. Look at her awkward exit this morning.

On the one hand it was frustrating.

On the other it was captivating.

She had his interest. It’d been re-kindled when he’d seen her sitting on her own at the mountain canteen, sitting so rigidly still he’d known something was wrong.