Secrets (11 page)

“Nope. You’re just too good an actor, Mr. Jesperson, that’s all,” Rae said, forcing herself to meet his gaze steadily.

“Got to go grab lunch.” She hurried from the room without waiting for a response. There had only been a couple of
other people left, and Rae absolutely had not wanted to be alone with Jesperson for even a few minutes.

I must stay in control. I must be patient. My hands are shaking to smother Rae, to put a pillow over her face and

hold it there until her body goes limp. Or pick up a knife and slash her open. Or put a few drops of poison in her

food, poison that is slow to act, not fast, something that would make her suf fer. I never want to see her face again. I

never want to hear her voice.

My thoughts are filled with murder. When will I do it? Where? How? But I must stay in control. I cannot let her grow

suspicious. She is afraid, I can tell. Her fear is all over her face -it is in her voice. I must be patient. If I am not, I will

never find out who else is so interested in Rae Voight. I must get this information before I make my move. The time

for the murder will come. Soon it will come.

-v- -v- -v-

Anthony stood in front of the cafeteria, turning Jackie’s car keys over and over in his fingers. He wanted to give
them back to her out here without an audience. There was no reason to remind everyone else of how out of control
she’d gotten at last night’s party.

He snorted. Not that anyone was likely to forget. He gave the keys an extra-hard flip, and they went flying out of his
hand and skidding across the floor. He followed them-and spotted Rae coming down the hall. A kicked-in-the-gut
feeling immediately followed the Rae sighting.

It’s better that she didn’t let you spit out an invi tation to the party,
he told himself. He’d heard way,
way
too much
about Marcus and Rae’s deal last night, but one thing that had really sunk in was that Marcus sincerely cared about
the girl. And he was so much more her, man, her type, or whatever you wanted to call it.

Anthony crouched down and picked up the keys, staying low for a few extra seconds in case Rae wanted to
breeze on by without having to acknowledge him. Probably be the best thing if she did.

“Hey, Anthony.” Anthony stopped staring at the keys, lifted his head a little, and found himself staring at Rae’s legs.

He’d recognize them anywhere.

“Hey,” he said back as he straightened up. “Soyou, uh, feeling better?” He took a quick look down both ends of
the hallway. It took him a second to realize he was checking for Marcus. Like he needed Marcus’s permission to talk
to Rae or something. Which was bull. They weren’t even together anymore.

But he wants them to be,
Anthony thought.
They should be.

“… except for this really nasty rash and the pus, I’m doing okay,” Rae was saying when he tuned back in.

“Huh?” Anthony said before he realized she was messing with him. What a moron.

“Forget about it,” Rae answered. “I’m fine. See you.” She started to turn away.

“Wait,” Anthony blurted out. “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

Rae turned back to face him and raised one eyebrow, waiting.
Crap. Now what,
Anthony thought. He didn’t really
have anything to ask her, he just wanted her to stay. Only for a second. Then he wanted her to go. He just didn’t
want her to go all pissed, which he could tell she was because he’d blinked out when she was talking to him.

Nervously Anthony twirled Jackie’s key ring around one finger. “Um, yeah, I was wondering how well you know
Jackie. Jackie Kane.”

“We used to hang out,” Rae answered. If anything,the annoyance in her eyes had gotten more intense. She really
didn’t want to talk to him a second longer than she had to. “But it’s been a while.”

“I’m kind of worried about her,” Anthony admitted. “At the party she was out of control. And I was just wondering if
she was always like that.”

Rae folded her arms across her chest. “That’s what you wanted-to ask me about Jackie?”

Anthony nodded. Didn’t she hear what he’d just said?

“Okay, well, let me tell you about Jackie since you’re so interested. Last year, back when we were friends, Jackie
was the antithesis of wild.”

Antithesis. Thanks, Rae. Wasn’t there a freakin’ longer word you could have used?

“She was eye on the prize-you know, doing everything to have the perfect high school record to get into the best
school and everything,” Rae continued. “That’s almost all she cared about.”

“Well, she’s definitely changed, then,” Anthony said. “Last night she drank enough to make five guys puke. And-”

“Look, I want to work on one of my paintings during lunch. Was there anything else you wanted from me?” Rae
asked, her voice sharp.

Anthony shoved his hands in his pockets. Now that he was thinking about it, there was somethingRae could do.

“Maybe you could do a little”-he lowered his voice-“a little
research.
You know. ’Cause I think something might be
going on with her, something danger-”

“Jackie can take care of herself, okay?” Rae interrupted. “I have to go.” She practically ran off.

Anthony shook his head, unable to pull his eyes away from the hall Rae had stalked down, even though she’d
already turned the corner. What was her deal? Why was she suddenly acting like he was the last person on the
planet she wanted to be around? Yeah, he knew he wasn’t up to Marcus’s level or anything, but weren’t they kind of
friends or whatever?

“Are you planning to give those back to me?” Oh, great. Anthony recognized the voice-Jackie. And she didn’t
sound like she was in any kind of better mood than Rae was.

“Yeah, I’m giving them back,” Anthony said as he turned toward her and tossed her the keys. She looked like crap-as much as a girl like her ever could look like crap. There were dark hollows under her eyes, and her makeup
couldn’t quite hide the unhealthy yellow color of her skin.

“Thanks,” Jackie muttered, then she headed toward the caf.

Thanks. That’s it. Like he was hired help or something. Like she hadn’t had her tongue practicallydown to his
stomach last night. Anthony caught up to her with two long strides. “You’re welcome, princess,” he told her. “You
should take it easy on the drinking and driving. Even you wouldn’t look good splattered across a street somewhere.

”

Jackie grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the little space next to the drinking fountain. “Let’s get one
thing clear-you don’t know me,” she told him. “You do not know anything about me. You don’t have the capacity.”

“I know what I saw last night-” Anthony began.

“Shhh, shhh, shhh.” Jackie pressed one finger against his lips. “Let me give you a little advice. Don’t talk. You’re
cute. And you’re a novelty here, which is an advantage. But when you talk-” She crinkled up her nose. “You lose
whatever appeal you have. Now, run along and have fun while you’re still the interesting new boy and not just a
loser from Fillmore who happens to be able to throw a football.”

Anger swelled up in Anthony as he reeled from her words. “Fine,” he bit out. “Trying to do you a friggin’ favor, but
fine.” Anthony strode toward the gym. There was no way he could go into the cafeteria and eat at the usual table
with Jackie sitting across from him. Not now that he knew she thought of him as this huge pile of crap.

He passed a couple of guys from the team andgave them a half salute.
Are they thinking the same garbage Jackie

is?
Anthony wondered before he could stop himself.
Am I just this big, dumb football-playing bear to everyone?

Self-absorbed jerk,
Rae thought as she entered the empty art room and slammed the door behind her. Well, tried to
slam-it was one of those doors that always closed really slowly.

No, make that Jackie-absorbed jerk,
she corrected herself. She grabbed her big white painting shirt off its hook
and pulled it on. She couldn’t believe Anthony was all worried about Jackie.
Jackie.
Had someone tried to kill
Jackie? No. Had someone kidnapped one of Jackie’s friends to get information about her? No. Was Jackie possibly
dying of some freaky incurable disease because she had a psychic power? That would be no again. But
she
was
the one Anthony was worried about.

Rae still hadn’t gotten a chance to tell him about the non-meter-reader guy. Or her numb spots. He hadn’t stopped
talking about Jackie long enough for her to get a word in.

Well, screw him,
Rae thought. She didn’t need Anthony. She and Yana had the situation completely under control.

Paint. You’re here to paint,
she reminded herself.

Her portrait of her mother was almost done. She’d been working on it like a fiend, getting in some time before
school, after school when she could, and every day during class. It’s like she was compelled to work on it, even
though painting her mother was usually the last thing she’d want to do.

Rae headed toward her easel, passing the row of little cubbies along the wall. Out of the corner of her eye she
caught Jackie’s name on one of them. She wasn’t in Rae’s class, so she must be in one of the beginner ones. Rae
hesitated. Was there something wrong with Jackie? Rae herself had seen Jackie shoplifting, something Jackie
would have been completely scornful of last year.

I could just do a quick sweep,
Rae thought, already wiping the wax off her fingers with a paint-stained rag. She
reached out and swished her fingertips back and forth over the cover of Jackie’s sketchbook.

/ don’t tell / tuna/ wouldn’t blink if I/ don’t mention/ nice perspective/ pointless/ why even/ secrets/ new guy / can’t

talk to/ no one cares/

Rae absently rubbed the spot just under her rib cage. She felt like a hole had opened up inside her, and the
emptiness ached.
That ache isn’t in you,
Rae reminded herself.
It’s in Jackie.

Anthony was right. Something bad was going onwith her, so bad that Jackie believed that everything was
pointless and that no one cared about her. Rae figured it had something to do with whatever those secrets Jackie
had were. The
don’t tell,
and
can’t talk,
and
don’t mention
were probably all about… whatever the secrets were.

Maybe I could talk to her,
Rae thought.
She obviously really needs to talk. Except, God, Jackie and I have hardly

talked at all since I got out of the hospital-just a little polite chitchat, and even that felt strained.

Besides, now that Anthony had moved Jackie to the top of the list of girls to save for the week, she’d be fine, right?

And what could Rae really do? It’s not like she’d want to talk about all her deep, dark stuff with Jackie, and Jackie
would probably feel the same way about her.

Rae sighed as she continued over to her easel. She slid off the sheet covering her canvas-and felt like all the blood
had been drained from her body.

Her mother’s face… Rae forced herself to really look at it. Acid, she decided. Acid had been splashed all over the
painting, eating ragged holes in her mother’s face. And then the canvas had been slashed with a knife.

Rae backed away until she hit the sink behind her. She leaned against it, her legs feeling too weak tosupport her.

She looked at the painting again, and from this distance she realized that the slashes weren’t random. They formed
words-
Stop asking questions.

Stop asking questions. That meant someone knew that she was at Amanda’s last night. Rae turned around,
fumbled with the cold-water knob, and managed to turn it on, then she leaned forward and let the stream of water
run over her face.

“Okay,” she muttered as she straightened up. “So someone doesn’t want me to ask questions.” She pulled a
couple of rough brown paper towels out of the dispenser and scrubbed her face hard, her hands shaking. Whoever
it was, they had been here again… in her school. In her
art
room. They had touched her painting, ruined it. But they
were scared, too, she realized. They didn’t want her to ask questions because she was getting close to the truth-finally.

“Well, it’s going to take more than this to stop me,” she said out loud, fighting to keep her voice strong. She stood
up straight and faced the painting again. “A lot more than this.”