Secrets (36 page)

“I’m not the one doing this.”

“Oh, get over it. I know that,” she snapped. “Who are you married to?”

He leaned back against the counter. He slumped down. “Vanessa.”

“Vanessa? You’re married, as in husband and wife with Vanessa Peters? Oh, my God. All those times you both told me I’d never understand you two, the innuendoes that you were both more than I could understand, that was this? Me, missing the obvious. I don’t understand.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I would never have told you like this.”

“No,” she said suddenly, standing up, the chair scraping behind her. “You would have never told me period. The only reason I know is because of a police interrogation. I mean, I don’t know what to do with this. The whole time you were married!”

“It’s not like what you think. Vanessa and I are not like the Tylers or anything.”

“How long have you been married to her?”

“Six years.”

She shut her eyes. “Six years?” The shock and betrayal rippled through her. She couldn’t stand it. Not Vanessa. Not Vanessa married to Scott. Her Scott. Only he’d never been her Scott.

He straightened off the counter and came closer. “Sit down, please.”

She stared at him her eyes flashing, and then finally she sat down. “Let me guess, you married her the year after your dad died.”

“Yes,” he said, his tone quiet, contrite. “It happened like I told you. Then, after Vanessa and I broke up, she packed up her and Angie’s bags and she was going to go off with this loser she had picked up in a bar. Just like that she was taking a ten-year-old on the road with some scumbag she’d snagged. I couldn’t let her take Angie. What if this pervert hurt Angie? I couldn’t stand the thought of it.”

Sarah let out a long slow breath. “You married her for Angie.”

“Yes.”

“But why? You could have lived with Vanessa, you didn’t have to marry her.”

“Vanessa didn’t trust that I wasn’t going to throw her out someday. She thought someday I’d meet a girl, fall in love, get married, and I’d throw her and Angie out. Which is kind of what happened with you. Vanessa knew it and that’s why she hated you so much. Vanessa decided that if I wanted her and Angie to stay with me then I had to marry her so she could believe I’d be there for them until the end. Until Angie graduated high school.”

“She used Angie to hold you hostage. She demanded, so you married her.”

“I did. And I’d do it again to keep Angie with me. At least Angie stood a chance this way. The same house, the same people in her life. I knew I wasn’t going to hurt her, and that I could minimize Vanessa’s damage on her. This way, no matter how crazy or mad Vanessa got, she’d stay with me. I don’t mind supporting them. They are my family. So marrying her felt more like signing a parenting agreement. If you think about it, agreeing to stay with me was a sacrifice on Vanessa’s part too.”

“Really? How do you figure?”

“Well, in staying with me she wasn’t free to date and marry as she wanted. She gave that up to let me be Angie’s primary guardian.”

“Scott, she manipulated you when you were a twenty-year-old kid who didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. She used your grief over your dad and your fear of being left all alone to make you marry her. She didn’t have to marry you. She easily could have let you adopt Angie and that would have given Angie everything you promised. But that wasn’t good enough for Vanessa. She wants
you
. It wasn’t for Angie she married you, it was for herself. She’s manipulated you for all these years through Angie.”

Scott shrugged. “Maybe she did. I don’t know that it made any difference to me what Vanessa’s reasons were. I was barely more than a kid when Angie became my responsibility. She was ten and I was twenty. And as scared as I was of being that for her, I was more scared of what would happen to her at the hands of one of Vanessa’s boyfriends. This wasn’t about love or manipulation. For me, this was always about Angie. And until I met you, I didn’t care that we were married. I mostly forgot about it, until I realized I wanted to date you, be with you, more than I wanted anything. Suddenly being married mattered more than everything.”

“Okay, fine. You married Vanessa to take care of Angie. A little extreme for my taste, but okay. Why the hell didn’t you tell me? All those times Vanessa was gloating to my face, all the crap I listened to from her, and you don’t tell me this? The most important piece of the puzzle and you don’t tell me it?”

Scott ran a hand through his hair, the pieces so straight and shiny they fell right back into place. He let out a long breath of air. “I didn’t set out to make you feel like that. As much as you hate to hear this, Vanessa is my friend. I care about her, despite all her crap. Until I met you, Vanessa was the only adult in this world who cared about me, and was there for me no matter what. That’s a very lonely feeling. It was daunting. Having that security that Vanessa and Angie weren’t one day going to disappear was far worth anything I had to give up.”

“But why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice cracked in emotion.

“Because I promised Vanessa I wouldn’t tell anyone. She’d have my support, my paychecks, my house, my insurance, and my security until Angie is eighteen. And she’d have my discretion. I promised Vanessa, we would live this way, be a family this way, until Angie was eighteen. That put me at twenty-eight. I didn’t care. It was an easy promise for me to make. We told no one, even Angie. And that’s how it’s been for six years. Who was there to tell? There is no family for either of us.”

“And I was just another girl you were screwing to fill in the gaps.”

“No. You weren’t. Vanessa knew it. That’s why she was so mean. Why she repeatedly reminded me of my promise.”

“You should have told me. I don’t care what you promised her, you should have told me.”

“I should have, yes. But I didn’t intend for you to become what you did to me. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. If you’ll remember I didn’t exactly pursue you. I knew from the start I felt differently about you. But I didn’t think we’d actually end up together like we did. And the longer I let things go, the less I wanted to tell you because I knew I’d lose you over it. And I didn’t want to lose you.”

“So you made a fool of me instead?”

“You just don’t get it, do you? I am legally married to a woman you hate. I am committed to that woman for another two years. Tell me, what was I supposed to do? Was I to expect you to wait that out? And what? Come live with us? Be my girlfriend, while Vanessa Peters, your nemesis, gets to be my legal wife? What was I supposed to do with this, Sarah?”

“You should have asked me. You let me go as if you didn’t care about me. You hurt me far more by your secrets, than if you had just told me the facts I was up against. Facts I can deal with. Facts I can figure out a plan with. Secrets? What can I do with secrets? Other than to learn I can’t trust you.”

“I know. I know what trust is to you. But there was Vanessa.”

“Always with Vanessa.”

“Yeah. Because I am married to her. Why do you think I so detested how bad you and Vanessa’s relationship was? Because each fight meant more and more I couldn’t ask you to accept my life, or my commitments. Each fight cemented that I was going to be losing you, when I wanted you in my life more than anyone, even Angie.”

“You do? You let me go as if I was nothing more than Mindy to you.”

He shook his head. “You’re everything to me. But I can’t change what I kept secret from you. Not and live with myself. Because Vanessa and Angie need me. They need me for money, insurance, emotional support, and especially now with what Angie’s facing. They need me. And I can’t abandon them. You don’t actually, physically need me. How can I ask you to accept this situation?”

“You don’t know what I need. You don’t know what I would have done because you didn’t even try to discuss it with me. How fair is that?”

“None of this is fair to you. I know that.”

“So, to be in Angie’s life, on Vanessa’s terms, you’re not allowed to have a life?”

“I thought I had one until I met you,” Scott said quietly.

“I don’t get why you even bothered with me.”

“Why? Because I love you. I fell in love with you about the time you came to live with me. What could I do about it? I couldn’t even send you away to protect you from the mess that I come with, because there you were living with me. I couldn’t stop how I felt. I couldn’t stop wanting to be with you. But I couldn’t promise you anything because I’d already made promises to Vanessa.”

Sarah’s mouth dropped open. “You’re in love with me?”

He smiled crookedly at her. “Well, yeah. What did you think I was telling you this for? I mean, if I wanted you to hate me and be done with me, I’d have left it how it was.”

She closed her eyes, and then finally, after a long, silent moment opened her eye lids slowly and looked into his golden hued eyes.

“I don’t know what to do with this.”

He leaned across the table and took her hand. “Welcome to my life.”

“Why did you let the police take you in?”

“What was I going to do? Take off in my Mustang? Besides they said they had some follow up questions about us. I didn’t have any idea they suspected me. Obvious reason, I was with you for a lot of the stalking.”

“They have phone records.”

“I know.”

“How is that possible?”

He squeezed her hand he had sandwiched between his two. “I did lie about one thing in there.”

“What?”

“I don’t often forget my phone.”

She sat up straighter. She jerked her hand from his.

“But I do loan it to Vanessa frequently. She doesn’t have one and for obvious bad judgment reasons, I give mine to her for safety reasons.”

“Vanessa. What are you saying? That she—”

“That I didn’t call you. I know that much. But my phone did.”

Sarah shook her head in disbelief. “She’s a vicious, self-centered bitch but she wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t go this far, and not for this long.”

Scott straightened. He nodded. “I thought you’d have Detective Swanson in there, go haul her in as soon as I told you. Look, I don’t know what’s going on. This has been a long day.”

“Do you think Vanessa is doing this?”

“I hope not,” Scott said steel in his tone. “But I’d like to at least talk to her before the cops do. I know you think it’s me choosing her again, but I need to make sure, for Angie’s sake and my own.”

Sarah stared long and hard at Scott. Finally she shook her head. “Okay. But I’m coming with you.”

He looked like he was about to object, then he finally nodded in return. “All right.”

****

John and Cassie were less than enthusiastic about Sarah going with Scott. Detective Swanson was even less so. He even had the nerve to pull Sarah aside and explain to her that predators were very convincing to their victims. Sarah thanked him for his advice but said she was going with Scott anyway. The detective followed them, and seemed perfectly comfortable waiting in the Delano’s driveway for her. Sarah rolled her eyes.

Scott glanced at Sarah as they pulled into the driveway. “This feels like old times.”

“Yeah, and as usual Vanessa’s waiting right there.”

“Hey, Sarah?” Scott grabbed her hand as she started to exit the truck.

“What?”

“I missed you.”

Sarah glanced at Scott, her mouth open in surprise at his unusually sentimental statement. He was already getting out of the truck. She followed. Cookie came bounding over. Sarah bent down and threw her arms around the dog. This uncomplicated love and adoration she had missed.

They went up to the house. Nerves fluttered in her stomach again. Scott stopped her on the doorstep. Taking her hand, he suddenly turned her toward him. Cupping her face tenderly in his hands he brought his lips down to hers in a soft kiss that pressed at her upper lip, her lower lip, then slowly, gently, tenderly, opened into her mouth. When he stopped and lifted his head Sarah was breathless.

“Whatever happens, I love you.”

“Then, you’d better ask me to accept Vanessa and your situation.”

His eyes widened. “Do you want me to be asking? You’d accept this mess?”

“Yes,” she said simply, no more explanation.

He smiled. “Okay, I’m asking.”

“I’m accepting it.”

He smiled. She smiled back. They turned and walked into the house.

****

Scott walked into the living room where Vanessa sat on the couch, a glass of wine before her, her feet resting on the coffee table.

“Where’ve you been? I thought you were coming straight home to sleep,” Vanessa said, without turning her head from the local news.

“I did come home. Where I was promptly detained and hauled to the police station to be interrogated.”

Vanessa’s feet came off the table, and she pivoted around, her face reflecting shock. Her eyes grew huge as she noticed Sarah hanging back in the entry way.

“What? Why? Oh, my God, because of her? Because of Sarah’s stalking crap? What did you do, Sarah?”

“Cut the shit, Vanessa. I’m tired, so tired of it I can’t even look at you right now. I was hauled in there because they have evidence my phone was used to call and harass Sarah. In fact, it’s so convincing to them if you’ll look out our front window you’ll notice the cruiser outside watching to make sure Sarah is safe in my presence, because they really believe I’m doing this.”

Vanessa’s mouth was a wide O. Her eyes shut and opened.

“What have you done?”

Vanessa’s gaze shifted from Sarah to Scott and back. She started shaking her head. “No. No. No. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. You weren’t supposed to be blamed.”

“What did you do?” Scott repeated.

Vanessa turned suddenly and sat down on a chair, her body sagging into it as if she couldn’t bear the weight of herself anymore. “I didn’t mean to do any of this.”

Scott left Sarah’s side. He sat on the couch across from Vanessa. “Tell me what you did.”

“I swear to you, I didn’t know it would turn out like this.”

“What did you think it would turn out like?”

“I didn’t think it through. One day Giovanni and I prank called her store, nothing big you know? Just like what happened while we were sitting there that time she was telling us Angie was pregnant. Giovanni did it as a joke, just some whispers, and heavy breathing. I mean, everyone’s done that, right? So we did it a few more times, and I thought, you know, that was it. I only wanted to annoy her, freak her out a bit.”