Secrets (14 page)

“The kids?” He frowned. “You think you might
get pregnant?”

Her eyes widened. “No. I mean, I don’t want
to get pregnant. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What?”

“I was raped.”

“I know.”

“It was because of sex. They sold me to men
for sex.”

Her mind spun at the ugly truth. A truth
she’d hidden for years. She’d hated herself for being a girl. For
having
this thing
men wanted so bad that they took her from
her mama, brothers and sisters. Beat and almost starved her.
Treated her worse than an animal, selling her to whoever could pay,
as if her humanity had no value. Ripped away her youth and
discarded her virtue with the midday trash. All because they
thought
she was a pretty girl. They mocked her name,
Chastity. Opening the lid on her darkest shame and secrets
exhausted her. The wound from her past lay open and oozed fresh
blood.

“That was the root of everything.” She
dropped her head back against the chair. “They’d never have stolen
me away if it wasn’t for that.” Her voice slipped to an agonized
whisper. The warmth of his stare grilled through her into the seat.
Heat rushed up her face and neck, she wiggled to move to further
away. His hand on her arm stopped all movement.

“Look at me. Chas, look at me.” He leaned
closer. His breath kissed her cheeks. With incremental movements,
she turned and gazed at his nose. He placed his hand between her
legs again. Her eyes shot up and met his.

“Rape is more about power than sex. If any
of those men had simply wanted sex, they could’ve gotten it from
grown women. Some sick bastards out there will attack someone
smaller to make themselves feel bigger. Trouble is, the feeling
doesn’t last. Children grow up and they’re stuck in a sadistic loop
of their own making. You did nothing wrong.” He brushed a kiss
against her lips. “Nothing like that happens between a man and his
woman.” His fingers stroked across her clit.

She jerked at her quivering response.
“Wha-a-a-t are you doing?”

His finger moved over her wet lips, flicking
now and then, sending tendrils of pleasure through her. “I’ve
played here before, how does it feel now?”

“Gooood, but it shouldn’t.” She pushed at
his hand, careful not to bump his other arm.

“It should. Let me show you.” He slid to his
knees in front of her, pushed the fabric of her dress back and
placed kiss after kiss on the center of her heated desire.

It was wrong. She knew it was wrong, but his
mouth felt soooo good.

“What?...Why?...Ohmigod!” she yelled as his
tongue lapped her core. Somehow, he’d removed her panties, and his
mouth now feasted on parts of her she’d never imagined lips or a
tongue would ever touch. He pulled her hips closer while his tongue
worked magic on her pussy, feeding the growing ache until she
couldn’t hold back. Her back arched taut as waves of ecstasy rolled
over her. Slumped, she stared as he licked the juices from his face
with his tongue, a happy grin on his face. Was he serious? He liked
that? Fascinated, she took his offered hand as he stood and walked
to the large, thick rug in front of the fireplace. Bending to his
knees, he removed the rest of her clothes, kissing everywhere he
touched.

“You’re an exquisite woman.” He breathed
against her stomach. “Beautiful brown skin,” he whispered as he
pulled her down beside him. His lips grazed hers while his
fingertip traced an invisible line down her throat, circled her
breast and pinched her pointed dark nipples. Heat rushed between
her legs.

She’d never felt so alive. Tremors shot
through her, rippling her core. His lips suckled one hard peak
while his fingertip explored the rest of her body on its downward
journey. Her flesh quivered under the onslaught of awakening. The
string of pleasure between her breast and pussy tightened,
ratcheting her need, leaving her panting, wanting more. Without
thought, her legs widened to allow his questing fingers have their
way. His mouth moved to the other breast as his finger penetrated
her.

A moan of bliss escaped her parted lips,
while her head thrashed from side to side. An itch, that’s the only
way she could describe the feeling deep inside, needed scratching.
Her hips moved in tandem with his thrusting fingers. He pushed
deeper, faster. Her breath quickened as she met him thrust for
thrust. Sweat rolled off her chest. She placed her feet on the
floor and bucked upward to reach her goal. Then it hit her. Spiral
after spiral of ecstasy so strong her entire body shook. Her legs
gave out and she hit the floor. From a distance, she heard what
might have been soothing words.

“I’ve got you.” Kenton’s hand stroked her
stomach as she shook through the last of her release. He kissed her
pussy and gently lapped at her wetness. “You’re addicting.”

She smiled and reached out, touching his
silky hair, stroking it in wonder. He looked up at her, his
darkened eyes hot and needy. This man wanted her. With all her
baggage, despite her demeaning beginning, he wanted to be with her.
Amazing.

“If you’re doing this so you can have access
to the children, you don’t—”

He kissed her swollen nether lips again, his
eyes never leaving hers. “As much as I want my children, this is
most definitely not about them. This is about you trusting me. To
be with me and only me.”

Her breath hitched at the word trust. She
wasn’t sure she could give him that.

“I’m willing to wait, Chas.” He kissed her
mound. “You’re so worth it.”

His words buffeted the garrison containing
her heart. Her wanton display a moment before dispelled her notion
of the dirtiness of sex. The feelings had simply been divine. That
knowledge acted as a cleansing agent on the wound from her past,
allowing proper healing and hope for a normal future.

“I…I don’t know what to say.” Her hands
continued stroking his hair.

His face relaxed into familiar smile. “Say
you’ll give me a chance to be here for you, to show you the
difference between a man who loves you and an asshole who had no
idea what love was. Give me a chance to love you.”

Her brow shot up as her mouth opened and
then closed slowly. This man was full of surprises. “Love? Hmmm,
when did that happen?”

He scooted upward on his good arm until his
face met hers. “A broken man came to your door four years ago. He’d
just had his ass handed to him by a woman his mother approved of
and his father said he could do better than. Since he despised his
cheating father, he stuck with the woman although he had no deep
feelings for her. His pride and ego took the real beating. On the
advice of his mother, he’d placed a significant amount of money
down on a house and set aside large sums of money to pay for a
wedding that never took place. He discovered his mother knew his
fiancé was involved with another man and was four months' pregnant
before he returned stateside.”

Chastity’s eyes widened at his story. That
night long ago, she’d had no idea why he’d looked so
devastated.

“Somehow, the money had disappeared; his
mother couldn’t remember what she’d done with it all. His
ex-fiancé’s parting words were, “I only agreed to marry you because
your mother said it wouldn’t really happen. That you’d call it off
once you returned. Supposedly, you’d get money from your uncle once
you became engaged.” She’d laughed and added the final twist. “I’d
never marry a man with her as a mother-in-law.”

“That bitch,” Chastity snarled.

He waved away her comment. “You’re missing
the point. I came here after that, glad to be free of both women
for good. I came to
you
. I wanted to see and talk to
you.”

What
? “You were hurting that night, I
remember.”

He nodded and lay next to her on his back.
“I’d just discovered my mother made a fool out of me for no other
reason than greed. Without telling her what I knew, I left town,
cutting off our relationship. I hadn’t talked to her until I
returned to see about Uncle David’s affairs. She wrote to me every
once in a while, but I never responded.”

Chastity tried to imagine doing what Maude
Stone had done to Jonah or Micah. The thought turned her stomach.
That woman needed her ass whipped in a major way. Lost in their own
thoughts, neither spoke.

“The only person I could think of, that I’d
thought of since I was fifteen, was you. I’m not going to lie and
say there weren’t women willing to offer comfort, there were. Many
had been my ex-fiancé’s friends. But after cutting the tie to my
mother, I wanted to be with the one person who knew I loved to
sketch and play marbles in the mud.”

She smiled in memory of watching him do
those things.

“Who despite the fact that I’d behaved like
a jack-ass, sent kind emails and kept me updated with general news
of the one place I'd always felt was home. I wanted to be with you,
Chas.” He touched her chin.

“That first time we got together, you’d just
turned eighteen, and in my bumbling way I wanted to impress you.
Let you see me as something more than Uncle David’s nephew. I’d
been crushing on you for years and in my inebriated mind, this was
my opportunity to bind you to me.”

“You gave me a sketch. That was sweet of
you.” She stroked his muscled arm.

“I’d been watching you for so long that I
drew it from memory one day while in my dorm. Truthfully, I didn’t
know it was your birthday that night I stopped by, but I had the
sketch in the car.”

“You drew it at college?” She was surprised
and decided to ask the one question that bugged her. “Why’d you
leave without saying anything? I think that hurt most of all,
thinking you used me like all the others.

He stiffened and then released a long sigh.
“That’s not true. I've never been like those assholes. Look, it was
a male ego thing, hard to explain and in retrospect makes no sense
now. Since you didn’t act liked you enjoyed anything I was doing to
you, so I figured you didn’t like having sex with me. I’d made a
mess of things that night and ran off embarrassed, no closer to my
goal of making you my girl.”

“I didn’t know what to do.” She
defended.

“Come on, you didn’t enjoy it, not like
tonight.”

“No, I didn’t. I have…” She coughed. “I had
issues over things like that.”

He rose above her, his face serious. “I want
you. I’ve been in serious like with you for years. That changed to
something deeper four years ago when you comforted me because I
hurt. No questions, no condemnation, no hesitation. Over the years
when things got tough in the field, I’d tell myself there had to be
something between us, that you had to feel something for me to take
me in like that. I didn’t know about your past and I admit I built
up a relationship between us within my mind that fell like bricks
when I met the twins. The thought of you and another man crushed
me. In a fit of jealousy I left the ranch, thinking to forget you
in the arms of another woman I’d met about a year ago.” He kissed
the frown off her forehead.

“I couldn’t get it up. The damn thing
wouldn’t get hard. My little man knew what I refused to admit
aloud. I needed you.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “I left the next
morning, determined to have it out with you, to take you from my
uncle or whoever else was in your life. But I just made a bigger
mess.”

Chastity closed her eyes remembering his
harsh words. “You hurt me when you accused me of having sex with
Mr. Baxter. He was my father in every way that counts.”

“I know. All I can say is I was so jealous,
I couldn’t see straight. I’d told Sven the boys had Baxter in them,
but didn’t think beyond that.” He kissed her. “Forgive me?”

Too full of happiness to speak, she inhaled
his delicious masculine scent. She nodded.

“Give me a chance.” He shook his head.
Determination gleamed in his eyes. “No, give us a chance.”

“You were always pushy,” she snorted,
smiling to take away the sting from her words.

“I didn’t have a choice. You always pushed
me away and I wanted to be with you.” He lowered his voice and bent
forward. “I should’ve known back then you were a fever in my blood.
I’d beg to come to the ranch, hoping to spend time with you. The
sketch I gave you on your birthday was one of many. You were my
favorite model and I became obsessed with getting you just right on
paper. Even then I thought of you as mine.”

“You knew better than to say anything.” She
tapped his solid chest.

He nodded. “Uncle David told me to leave you
alone, and you didn’t give me the time of day.”

She sighed, releasing the last of her
tension. Could she have a real relationship with him? If anyone had
asked a few months ago if she’d consider having a man intimately in
her life, she’d have said hell no. It wasn’t that she though all
men were rotten, she’d met some good ones along the way. And
despite their young rocky beginning, she’d enjoyed Kenton’s
company.

They were parents, but had never been
lovers.
Lovers, hah
. Even as she mentally scoffed, an image
of the two of them intertwined on her bed all those years ago
resurfaced. He’d held her tight and stroked her back so gently.
It’d felt good, natural, until she banished those thoughts from her
mind. A flash of pleasure from earlier that night zipped through
her.

“It took a while for me to trust Mr.
Baxter,” she said, picking her way through damaged emotions. “Words
meant nothing. Lies had been my diet for years. But he allowed me
to grow at my own pace, never betraying my trust. In fact, I’m
discovering he knew things about me I didn’t know myself.” Her hand
cupped his chin as she searched his eyes. Pleased with the
sincerity she saw in the dark depths, she walked out on the shaky
limb of faith.

“I’m scared, Kenton.” She placed her fingers
over his lips as he started to speak. “I can’t help it, that’s the
way I feel. An hour ago, I had no idea my body could respond to a
man the way it did. I’ve never imagined sex as something good,
something desirable. You’ve turned my world upside down and I won’t
ever be the same. I’m not sure yet if I should thank you for that
or not.” Licking her lips, she stared at his.