Secretly Hers (Sterling Canyon) (8 page)

A surprise after-hours visitor ringing the bell at the front desk interrupted Trip’s unpleasant musing. Kelsey?

“Coming!” he called while shoving back from the desk and trotting down the hallway. He rounded the corner into the reception area, a flirtatious grin plastered on his face, but then skidded to an abrupt halt. “Mason?”

His anticipatory euphoria vanished, making room for shock and a little bit of dread.

Mason stood, hands in his front pockets, glancing around the dated room, clearly unimpressed. “Gunner.”

In the far recess of Trip’s mind, his dad’s recent plea rattled. He awkwardly stuck his hand out to his brother, and Mason reluctantly shook it.

“This is a surprise.” Trip crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. Mason was only three and a half years older than him, but his graying hair and thicker build made him look closer to forty. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t you guess?” Mason raised one brow.

Trip shook his head. “Honestly? No. I really can’t.”

“Dad sent me.” Mason’s face grimaced like he’d been force-fed a shot of cheap whiskey. “Put me in charge of Kessler’s hotel project with the misguided idea it’ll force you and me to deal with each other. Seems he’s still holding out hope for some kind of family reunion. I told him you and I were fine with the status quo, but he’s determined that we become one big happy family. Not sure why. You haven’t seemed all that interested in being part of it for years.”

Trip couldn’t defend himself against that particular accusation. He had distanced himself from them since college with infrequent, brief phones calls and occasional holiday visits. Of course, Trip could lay some blame on Mason and Deb for their role in the family dynamic, but it didn’t matter. If Trip were a better man or son, he’d have made more effort. “I suppose I can’t argue with you there. I haven’t been a model son.”

Mason’s brows rose, apparently surprised by Trip’s confession. Someone else might be softened by such an admission, seeing it as a sign of maturity and remorse.

Not Mason.

“So this place is what Dad’s been boasting about since he saw you the other week?” He smirked, gesturing around the drab room, with its creaky wooden flooring and fluorescent lighting. Mason eyed Trip from head to toe. “At least you don’t have to wear a tie to the office.”

In the space of a heartbeat, Trip was right back to being a young teenage boy, defending himself against another insult. One might think, by nearly thirty-six, Mason would’ve finally outgrown his need to best his little brother. Then again, at thirty-two, Trip hadn’t matured much either, as he was about to prove.

“No tie, no nine-to-five. Just clean air, cliffs, and adrenaline. As for this place, it’s not much to look at, but it’s mine.” Trip pushed away from the counter, standing to his full height, and thus physically, if not otherwise, proving who was the bigger man. “The fact I never rode his coattails is probably why Dad’s impressed. Guess you wouldn’t understand, now, would you?”

“Or maybe he’s just impressed because he never expected much from you, considering . . .” Mason left the rest unsaid.

But Trip knew how that sentence ended. He’d overheard it from Deb many times, always muttered out of earshot of his father.
What can you expect from him, considering he’s the son of a whore?

It had always astounded Trip that she and Mason liked to blame the entire affair on his mother, who’d been an unmarried girl of twenty-four, instead of on the married man who’d actually betrayed them.

“Well, Dad’s little plan is off to a great start.” Trip forced a grin. “How long are you in town?”

“Leaving today.”

“Guess you don’t have time for a beer and round of pool, then?” Trip’s sarcasm colored his words. He rested his hands on his hips. “Don’t worry, though. I’ll make sure Dad knows you came to see me. And, hey, we didn’t break any windows this time, so that’s progress.”

Trip noticed Mason’s uncomfortable reaction to the recollection of the fight they’d had. Mason had walked in on his then-fiancée, Jen, alone with Trip in their dad’s study. It had been an innocent scenario, one in which Jen merely had been trying to learn a little about Trip because they’d never met. But Mason had immediately concluded that Trip had been out to sabotage his relationship.

He’d ordered Jen out of the room before barraging Trip with a slew of heated accusations. Naturally Trip’s glib sarcasm had only enraged Mason, prompting him to toss a thick marble ashtray across the room. The projectile smashed through the palladium window, costing Mason a thousand bucks, not to mention his pride.

“I should’ve followed my instincts that day and called off the wedding. Could’ve saved myself a lot of aggravation and money.” Mason’s words were full of bravado, but Trip noticed a flicker of real pain in his eyes.

From what their dad had told him at lunch the other week, Jen might’ve been unfaithful. The parallel with how the Cutler family had been significantly altered by their dad’s infidelity had probably rekindled all of Mason’s antipathy toward Trip. For one second, he felt a trace of compassion for the insecure bully who’d tormented him for decades. Trip also knew Mason’s girls would now suffer because of the family split—a kind of loss Trip could relate to.

“All our shit aside, Mason, I’m sorry your girls have to go through a divorce.” Trip relaxed his posture in an effort to dispel the tension in the room.

“Concerned ‘Uncle Gunner’ now?” Mason sighed. He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced out the window. In a quiet tone, he muttered, “Like you’d even recognize either of my girls if you saw them.”

Trip raised his hands in the air. “I give up. Honestly, I’ve never been able to win with you. Not at ten, not at twenty, and not now. I wish I knew what the hell
I
ever did to make you hate me so much.”

Mason’s incredulous expression stunned Trip. He stared at his brother, trying to read his thoughts.

Eventually Mason shook his head, and when he spoke, his voice was oddly wistful. “My parents were happy until you arrived and ruined everything. For God’s sake, my poor mom had to deal with Dad’s garbage while having to help raise you. Imagine how she felt.” Trip refrained from commenting that he didn’t have to imagine, because Deb had never kept it a secret from anyone but her husband. When Mason spoke again, his tone had sharpened with disgust. “And Dad fell all over himself to make you feel part of our family. He just loved that you were so much more like him than I was, and
you
loved taking him away from us.”

“No, Mason. That part was all in your head.” Trip held up his hand to stop Mason’s oncoming retort. “Trust me, I never wanted your life, and I didn’t enjoy living in a house where the resentment was thicker than mud.” Trip glanced at his feet and then back at Mason. “You know, when my mom introduced me to Dad, I was terrified. She was dying, my grandfather was sad all the time. I didn’t know, or care about, this strange new man in my life. Everything sucked except for one thought—suddenly I had a big brother. The way Dad talked about you made me
excited
to meet you. But you never even gave me a chance to be a friend, let alone a brother. Given your feelings about me, I’d assume my staying away would’ve made it easier on you. Instead, you slam me for being neglectful. At this point I give up. Let’s just go on avoiding each other like always.”

“Fine with me,” Mason said, resting his hands on his hips. “Unfortunately, I’ll be back in two weeks and then stuck here for a year or so overseeing the construction, so we’re bound to bump into each other in this small town.”

Dammit. Memories of the many ways Mason had made life uncomfortable for Trip resurfaced, causing Trip’s stomach to tighten.

Mason could easily come to town, try to damage Trip’s reputation, and then walk away. Trip, however, had just committed a bunch of money and time to making this his home. He’d be stuck living in the aftermath of whatever Mason threw his way, which meant he was going to have to live wary for twelve months or more. And if Mason got a whiff of Trip’s plan to stop Wade’s next deal, he’d probably try to undermine him there, too.

Trip tamped down a wave of panic, determined not to let Mason see his worry. “For Dad’s sake, let’s call a temporary truce while you’re in town. If we see each other, I’m just fine with us pretending to be polite acquaintances and going about our own business.”

“Ditto.” Mason glanced at his watch. “Suppose I’ll catch my jet. Always a pleasure, brother.”

Mason shoved open the door and disappeared around the corner, leaving Trip to stew. His father’s timing sucked. Why would he push Mason into Trip’s life now, when Trip had finally decided to settle down? When he’d decided to give his dad more respect and attention?

This was what happened when you let people into your heart. Things got messy, and then they usually fell apart. Trip didn’t like messy, and he didn’t like pain. Now both were staring him down, testing him.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he recalled Mason’s smug remarks. What he needed was a release of the energy coiling in his gut. Without a destination in mind, he stormed out of the building and started walking.

Chapter Seven

Kelsey dragged herself to her sister’s for dinner at six o’clock to hear some “big announcement.” Based on Maura’s tendency to exaggerate the significance of minor events, Kelsey suspected the announcement could relate to anything from buying new drapes to whatever participation award Fee might have won at summer camp that week.

She arrived just in time to help get the food to the table. While her parents and Bill were seating the kids in the dining room, Kelsey followed Maura into the kitchen.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you’ve been avoiding me these past ten days,” Maura scolded as she tossed the salad. “And don’t think you can escape questions about how it’s going with you-know-who.”

“It
went
fine. Better than fine.” Kelsey transferred rice and beans from the pot to a serving bowl. She kept her heated face hidden from her sister. “In fact, it was awesome.”

“In what way?” Maura set down the salad tongs. “I mean, is there more between you two than the purely physical nonsense you tried to sell me?”

“No.” Kelsey snapped her head toward Maura. “I told you, I’m in control of the situation. It was just one much-needed, extremely exciting interlude that I’ll remember for a long, long time. I don’t know if it will happen again, and I don’t care.”
Liar, liar.

Kelsey speared the rice bowl with a serving spoon before lifting it from the counter. “Now let’s go eat so I can hear this big announcement.”

“You know I just want you to be happy, Kelsey.” Maura looked somewhat pained. “I want you to find someone to love so we can raise our families together.”

“So do I. Trust me, Maura. My fling with Trip won’t interfere with my life or my happiness. Now wipe that worried look off your face before everyone else starts asking questions.”

The sisters entered the dining room and took their seats in time to say grace with the family.

“Okay, you two. Don’t keep us in the dark any longer. What’s the news?” Kelsey’s dad asked just before he shoveled a heaping spoonful of rice into his mouth.

Her mom looked across the table at Maura with a knowing smile, which told Kelsey she either knew or guessed the secret. Bill grasped Maura’s hand and kissed it, and then he turned to the table. “We’re pregnant.”

Kelsey tightened her grip on her fork, stunned. She hadn’t expected this news. News that normally would make her crow with excitement. A rush of self-loathing blew through her for the envy eating away at her heart.

“A new baby!” Fee’s joyous shout snapped Kelsey out of her daze. Forcing a smile, she kept her gaze on Fee while she collected her spinning thoughts. Fee frowned at fat little Ty, who’d smashed peas in his hair and all over his high chair. “Mommy, I want a sister.”

“We’ll see, honey.” Maura looked at Fee, her expression glowing.

“Another baby?” Kelsey’s dad shook his head, smiling. “Bill, you’re keeping busy.”

Maura slapped her dad’s shoulder. “Dad, the kids!”

Kelsey finally offered heartfelt congratulations and managed to maintain a bright smile, but her insides were wrung tight. Maura was having her third child, her home becoming richer with family, while Kelsey’s life stagnated. Big paychecks, real estate investments, and fancy trips to Mexico wouldn’t fill up the hole in her heart or make her more lovable, no matter how much she hoped they might.

Lively chatter about the pregnancy carried on around her while Kelsey picked at her food. At one point, she glanced across the table and saw a private moment between her sister and Bill, in which he placed his hand over Maura’s belly. The intimacy and love Kelsey witnessed plunged her once more into the depths of her own thoughts, doubts, and fears of never being loved, never being needed, never being any man’s “someone special.”

Fee crawled onto her lap and hugged her. “Aunt Kelsey, when can I have a sleepover at your house?”

Kelsey snuggled with Fee, uncaring that sticky little fingers tugged at her hair. “Soon, peanut. I promise.”

She loved Fee, and, moreover, she loved the way Fee loved her. If she never found her own true love, could this be enough? She clung to her niece and kissed her head. Their special bond filled Kelsey’s heart with emotion she couldn’t even put to words. And yet that void remained—one she believed would only be filled when she fell in love with someone who returned her feelings and, together, they created their own family.

For the next thirty minutes, Kelsey celebrated the happy news with her family, but deep down she wanted to escape.

That chance came after cake. Kelsey helped her mom load the dishwasher and dry the pots, making excuses about being exhausted from a long day. She gave Bill another congratulatory kiss, then grabbed Maura and hugged her. “I love you, sis. I can’t wait to meet my next niece or nephew.”

She meant every word, too, despite her self-absorption.

“Thanks, Kels.” Maura’s eyes glistened, and Kelsey knew right then that, despite her attempts to hide her private sorrow, she’d failed. “Call me tomorrow.”

Kelsey grabbed her keys, jogged to her car, and drove home, letting her tears flow. If she’d moved from Sterling Canyon to a bigger city years ago, might she have increased her chances of finding someone? At the time, she couldn’t have imagined ever wanting to leave her family and closest friends.

Yet tonight the ridges of the San Juan mountain range encircling town felt claustrophobic rather than majestic. Familiar town streets cluttered with antique buildings seemed stagnant instead of charming. Perhaps she needed to take more drastic steps toward happiness than just playing secret sex games with Trip Lexington.

Two minutes later, she parked her car in the alley behind her building. A quick glance in the mirror reflected self-pity. Scowling, she slapped her cheek to snap herself out of her funk. Maura’s pregnancy
was
great news for their family. And it would give Kelsey another infant to love.

As she made her way between her building and her neighbors’, focused on those positive thoughts, her phone rang. She dug into her bag and saw Trip’s name on the display. She stopped. Bit her lower lip. The last thing she could handle at that moment was talking to Trip, who, despite his appeal, personified the opposite of the kind of man she really needed. Tossing the phone back into her purse, she rounded the bend toward the front door.

When a man appeared out of the shadows, her heart skittered and her limbs went numb. “Oh!”

“Ignoring my call?” Trip asked, clearly insulted, as he caught her by the elbow before she stumbled.

“Trip! You scared me.” Despite her attempt to stifle her emotions, she sniffled.

“Sorry.” He tipped her chin up toward the glow from the porch light and studied her face with concern. As his thumb brushed away her last tear, his tone shifted to something fierce. “Okay, whose ass do I need to kick?”

“What?” Kelsey felt her forehead crease in confusion.

“You’ve been crying. Who upset you?” He loomed above her, chest puffed out. “I’ll make him pay, just give me a name.”

Utterly unexpected. Trip wanted to defend her. For some ridiculous reason, his concern made her happy. God, what a screwed-up pair they were.

“Not a
he
, and there are no asses that need to be kicked, so stand down.” She raised one hand. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’ve never seen you cry, princess.” He shocked her again by pulling her against his chest and murmuring, “Gotta say, I don’t like it.”

Her muscles relaxed in his embrace. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth and strength he offered. The soothing sound of his strong heartbeat pounded against her ear, so she stayed there for a few extra seconds before easing away. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine, really. But why are you here?”

Trip cocked his head, looking like he might continue to press the topic, but then he backed down. “Honestly? I didn’t plan on coming. I bolted from the office to blow off steam and ended up here.” The look on his face proved he was as surprised as she by that admission.

“To blow off steam?” She unlocked her door, already knowing she would let him come in. She didn’t want to be alone just yet, and apparently neither did he.

“Among other things.” Trip restored his playboy persona with the innuendo of his words and delivery. He followed her up the stairs and into her apartment and then proceeded to pace back and forth.

She tossed her purse to the floor, switched on a lamp and the gas fireplace, then grabbed a bottle of zinfandel and two glasses.

“Got any beer?” Trip asked while picking up various pictures and knickknacks to study them with a curious smile.

“Wine or water, sorry.”

Trip motioned for the bottle with one hand then poured them each an extra-large glass. “Not sure who needs this more, you or me.”

He clinked his glass with hers and proceeded to gulp it down like whiskey. When Kelsey slunk onto the sofa, Trip flopped beside her. He sank his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes, resting his hand on her knee.

Her body responded to his touch like a match to a striker. She watched the muscles in his face relax as his thumb massaged the outside of her knee. Despite her mood, his presence and signs of affection lightened her heart. But she couldn’t let her heart misread Trip.

After a minute or two, he opened his eyes and faced her with a grin before sitting up.

“So what got you so riled up you had to take off?” She took another sip of her wine, but then he reached out for her glass.

He set it on the table and tugged her hand, drawing her closer to his body, his eyes clouded by trouble, his jaw clenched. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to escape.” He kissed her gently. “Want to take a ride with me?”

Before she could fire off a snarky reply, he kissed her again. Unlike their previous explosive encounters, this kiss simmered. His hold on her—the touch of his fingers along her jaw—was tender, like a kiss from a man who cared. He drew her lower lip into his mouth and gently bit down on it before kissing her again.

Like before, she opened her eyes, but his remained closed. He breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling as he pulled her across his lap and pressed her against his body. His desire fed hers and, if she wasn’t careful, might trick her into believing he felt more than lust.

He caressed her back before his hand swept across her hip and up her waist to her breasts.

“You feel so good, princess.” He opened his eyes and smiled, then kissed her again on the mouth before pressing kisses against her neck and down to her shoulder. He then stroked along the inside of her thigh. “I like this skirt, but I’d rather see you naked.”

Part of Kelsey knew another go-round with Trip would seriously mess with her head, but the rest of her just didn’t care. He tasted like heaven, and made her body resonate like no one else ever had. Maybe he couldn’t love her, but he sure could
make
love like a champ, and that sounded pretty perfect at the moment.

She reached for the hem of his shirt and helped him tug it over his head. Then she kissed his shoulders, enjoying the way his breathing became uneven, the way the muscles in his chest twitched under her tongue.

Grunting, he kicked off his shoes and then began unbuttoning her blouse while kissing her. When she removed her shirt, he shoved her coffee table aside several feet and then laid her down on the carpet in front of the fireplace. Braced on his knees, he slowly removed her skirt and panties, his fingers skimming along her thighs. The flickering light caught in his eyes, which were glinting with their own heat.

Heat for her.

She slid her hands inside the elastic of his sweats and tugged them down until he yanked those off, too. She sat up and fondled the length of his erection before taking him in her mouth, making him gasp and grunt with pleasure.

He was a big man, so she couldn’t accommodate all of him, but he didn’t seem to mind. He dug his hands through her hair as he pumped into her mouth and uttered a breathless, “Kelsey.”

She used her tongue and hands to excite him further, listening for and feeling what he liked and didn’t by his body’s response. Then he pulled away, laid her back and kissed her.

His entire body covered hers, the friction of the skin-to-skin contact heating her, making her purr.

“Should I go get the body paint?” she asked between kisses.

He brushed back some of her hair and looked at her. “Not tonight. No games. Just you. I just need you.” Then he kissed her again, his finger traced her jaw before his hand went to her breast, followed by his mouth.

I just need you,
he’d said. She arched her back and let him take whatever he needed, because she needed him just as much.

Everything about this woman turned him on. The feel of her soft skin under his calloused hands, the scent of the sweet perfume she’d spritzed on her body, the way she stretched and arched beneath his touch like a cat being petted, the ample proportions of all her curves.

He could stare at her and kiss her for hours. In fact, that was his plan. He’d lose himself in the exploration of her body, leaving no spot unattended.

As his mouth moved from her breasts to her abdomen and below, her little squeals and panting stoked the inferno blazing in his core. Each scratch of her nails or bite from her teeth spurred him to be more attentive, more impassioned.

He pulled away long enough to wrest the condom from his wallet and then buried himself deep inside her, kissing her, pinning her arms to the floor while pumping his hips.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside. When he released her arms to cradle her head, she threaded her hands through his hair and then ran them along his back until she groped his ass.

They rode a wave of hunger until their sweaty bodies lay spent before the fire.

Kelsey Callihan was more erotic than any pinup girl of his boyhood fantasies, because in addition to her obvious sensuality, she oozed warmth. He’d done nothing to earn it, and yet she’d given it without reservation, thawing the chill of his sparring match with Mason.

She was way more than he’d bargained for, and he wasn’t sure whether he should be glad or terrified.