Secret Worlds (392 page)

Finn pulls his hand back, wide eyes indicating he’s aware of the sensation. I stare back, unable to speak because every cell in my body has numbed.

“Sorry, I’ve always got cold hands,” he says eventually and sits on his hands.

“That’s an understatement.”

The sensation subsides, warmth pouring back into my limbs, and the cold in my head is replaced with fog of a new intensity. The images of the accident flood in with nausea, my meal heavy on my stomach. I have to leave.

I mumble something about needing the bathroom and leave the table, hoping my slight stagger isn’t visible in the darkened pub.

In the bathroom, I lean over the dirty sink and study myself. My newly-purchased foundation isn’t doing the best job of covering how pale I am, and the pupils of my wide, blue eyes are dilated. The fog ebbs, but the world lurches and I grip the sink, shivering. Goosebumps rise on my arm, over the scars, and I wish I hadn’t taken my jumper off.

A girl around my age appears at the sink next to me, scrubbing tears from her face. She’s smaller than me and her short jacket is torn as if she’s been fighting. As she pushes her long, honey-coloured hair behind her ear, dark bruises are evident on her arms.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

The girl turns to me, her green eyes red-rimmed. “No. Can you help me?”

I think about going to Finn. He can help? “Did someone hurt you? Are they still here?”

She shakes her head. “They’ve gone. But I’m too scared to go alone.”

“Do you want me to call someone for you? Or can I call you a taxi?”

“Please. Then would you wait with me?”

I understand her fear of being alone outside in the dark, especially if her attackers might come back. We leave the bathrooms and walk across the stained red carpet toward the exit.

“Can we go the back way? I don’t want to be seen like this,” she says, and we head toward the propped-open fire doors. The doors open into a side alley piled with beer crates and a large metal skip. The hubbub of voices fades as we head away from the building, down the narrow alley between this building and the next. The girl edges ahead of me and pauses at the point the alley meets the busy street. I pull my phone from my pocket and search for the nearest taxi firm. Looking at the list, I decide the best option would be to go hail one; in this part of the city, they’re plentiful.

I put my phone away. “I’m just going to tell my friend what’s going on. Have you thought about calling the police?”

The girl cocks her head then shakes her hair over her shoulder before coming back along the alley. Her eyes glint in the darkness and she holds a hand toward my face. I step back.

“I didn’t want to go with them, but I’m running out of time here,” she whispers.

Something in this girl’s demeanour brings the red-haired girl’s face to mind, and I question the sanity of standing in darkened alleyways with strangers.

“I think maybe we should wait inside,” I say and edge back toward the fire door.

“You can help me. I only need a little of what you have.”

I peer at the scruffy girl.
Is she homeless and targets unsuspecting soft touches like me at night?
“My money’s inside.”

“No, not that. I don’t want money.”

A sensation crawls across my scalp, like spiders caught in my hair. I need to go. This girl is around my size, which means nothing; I’ve never fought anyone. I take another step toward the door, but she blocks my way.

“Please. It won’t hurt you,” she says.

The girl darts her hand out and places a palm on my chest. Affronted by the invasion, I open my mouth to shout, but no words come out. I can’t move. She closes her eyes and my chest constricts as if she’s pulling my heart from behind my ribs, the strength of the pain almost convincing me she is.

My vision slips into muted greys; the buildings around shimmer in and out of reality. This isn’t the fog which follows from my nightmares; this is different. The sound of the world around fades and is replaced by a multitude of voices whispering words I can’t hear. I struggle to move against the invisible force holding me to this girl. Of everything around me, she is the most solid and as I stare, her dull face brightens and a renewed shine enters her green eyes. The pain in my chest is accompanied by an overwhelming sense of sadness, and I want to collapse to the floor and give in to the darkness.

As this feeling grabs me in a stranglehold, I notice other figures around. People walk along the alley, apparently oblivious to the assault. They shimmer in and out of focus, and I half expect to see the blonde man from the night of the accident step from the shadows.

The dizzying pain crushes my chest, and I’m aware the sadness I’m feeling is the threat of death. Another figure approaches, and I think he’ll pass by like the others. The man is tall with scruffy clothes and dark, curling hair. If I could move, I’d rub my eyes because he looks like Alek; but a Technicolor, large-than-life Alek, as if I’m watching him on a movie screen in a darkened theatre. He strides down the alley and without looking at me, he grabs the girl’s arm and breaks the connection.

The ground comes up to meet me; cold, hard tarmac in a world returned to colour. The sounds of the evening return and the grey clears. Heaving breath into my lungs, I hold my aching chest and rest my face on the cool, gritty ground. From the sideways angle, I watch as the man holds the girl by both arms and pulls her close to him. It
is
Alek. Where the hell did he come from? The girl fights against him, and to my satisfaction, she finds it as hard to move as I did when she held me.

Then he kisses her.

Panic pushes in, and I pull myself up on my weak legs. Alek knows her. He’s involved with whatever weird shit this girl is doing to me. But she doesn’t want him to kiss her; he has his hands clamped around her head, crushing her face to his and she struggles, clawing at his hands. My stomach turns over, conflicted by the relief he stopped whatever was happening and his assault of a vulnerable girl. I stumble against the wall, rubbing my palm on the rough bricks to confirm reality. All the while, Alek’s eyes are on me and every cell in my body screams at me to get the hell away and now.

The outline of the girl shimmers and I rub my eyes against the hallucination. I can see a ghostly outline where Alek had hold of her, as if I’ve closed my eyes and the imprint of her remains. But my eyes are open and she’s faded. Gone.

As Alek turns his attention to me, I prepare to bolt, sizing up the possibility of getting past the gap between him and the wall. I’ve no energy, my chest is burning, and my muscles are weak, so I don’t think my chances are good. Black dots dance around in my vision, but at least the grey has gone.

“Rose.” He holds his hand up in a gesture of peace, indicating he’s not going to touch me, but I can’t believe him, not after what I saw him do to the girl. I sidestep him on wobbly legs. Alek doesn’t try to take hold of me, but blocks my exit.

“What the hell just happened? I want to go!” I rasp.

“I’ll take you home.” He rubs his forehead. “I didn’t think you’d be found so quickly.”

“Found? By who?”

Alek runs both hands through his hair and shifts his look around the alleyway. “We can’t stay here.”

“Where’s she gone? That girl.”

“She’s gone to where she needs to go but doesn’t want to. I helped her.”

I steady myself on the wall, chest constricting with panic now. His evasiveness isn’t helping calm me down.

“It’s bad enough you coming out alone with Finn, but this, as well...” He spits the name. “Where is he?”

“How did you know where I was? Are you stalking me?”

Alek steps closer and I back up, hitting the wall. He steps away, indicating he’s not trying to trap me. Every muscle in my upper body is tensed, terrified at what he’s going to do.

“I won’t touch you.” He’s close enough for me to feel the crackling warmth between us, his hardened eyes fixed on mine. I can’t tell if he’s upset with me, Finn, or someone else.

“What’s going on?”

“A few days ago, I said we needed to talk. Is it okay if we do that tonight?” he asks. “Come back to the house.” My eyes widen at his plea. “I’ll keep you safe.”

The cool bricks against my back keep me grounded in this strange evening.
Why do I need keeping safe?

“From what?”

Alek’s chest expands as he heaves in a breath. “Everything, Rose.”

Ordinarily, I’d tell him to get lost; I’m not some weak girl who needs protecting. But I don’t think this is ‘macho male protecting the little woman’; I think it’s much more. Something involving disappearing girls who try to tear my life from me and about what lurks in the fog pervading my life.

I cross my arms over my chest and shiver slightly.

“We should go before anyone else comes,” Alek says.

“I need my bag and coat, and I should tell Finn what’s happened…tell him I’m going.” My brain won’t function correctly; even though the fog has gone, the dreamlike world I’m in remains with me.

Alek stares at me as if I’m not in my right mind. “No, you shouldn’t. I’ll get your things and tell him you’re not well.”

When Alek disappears into the building, I slump against the wall and stare up at the cloudy night sky. I’d run, but I don’t have the energy. Rubbing my cold hand over my face, I consider whether Alek just saved my life. And if he did, from what? Running could be a bigger mistake; what if there’s more like her?

A flustered-looking Alek steps out of the pub, my jacket and bag scrunched in his hand. “Come on.”

I hesitate, expecting Finn to follow him out. Alek’s arrival and my decision to leave with him must seem odd. Finn doesn’t appear and I wonder what their conversation entailed because last time, their exchange wasn’t polite.

In the split-second decision that follows, I don’t realise the choice I’m making. “Okay. Take me home.”

***

Alek drives a beaten-up white sedan, which doesn’t match his image as well as a motorbike might.
Why am I thinking things like that?
He opens the door for me, surveying round us as he closes it. Inside, I rub my arms. Alek puts my jacket on the back seat and I don’t have the energy to reach for it.

“How do you feel now?” asks Alek, turning the car ignition.

“Like I could sleep for a week.” I snuggle down in the seat.

“No, you can’t do that,” says Alex tersely.

I cough a laugh, and then wince at the pain the movement sends through my chest. “I can’t sleep?”

“Stay awake.” Alek leans over, flips the air temperature as low as it can go and turns the output to max.

Goosebumps spring up on my arm. “What the hell? It’s freezing!”

“Like I said, stay awake.”

Halfway home and fed up with shivering, I turn the temperature up. Alek immediately turns it back down. I repeat the action.

“Do you want me to slap your hand?” he growls.

“Excuse me?”

Alek turns the air back to the lowest temperature. “If you fall asleep now, you might not like where you are when you wake up.”

I shrink back in my seat, unsure now whether I should’ve stayed with Finn instead. His veiled threat tightens my chest further and I glance at the door handle. Maybe if we stop at traffic lights, I could get out.

And go where?

***

By the time we reach the house, the woozy feeling is edging my consciousness into the grey fog again. I stumble through the front door and make a beeline for the sofa, flopping onto it like I’m drunk.
I just want to sleep; what is his problem?

“Rose!” Alek storms over and stands over me. He’s moving his fingers as if he wants to touch me but won’t. “Sit up! Before you go to sleep.”

“I’m too tired…” I mumble.

“Lizzie!” he yells.

Nobody responds. I yawn and huddle against the back of the sofa, wishing I had a blanket. At least my chest doesn’t hurt as much now. The red-haired girl comes into the room, and I smile weakly at her. Alek turns to follow my line of vision.

“Is she going?” asks Clarissa. “She can’t go yet.”

Alek says nothing and turns back to me. “Don’t let her touch you.”

“Why would she touch me?”

Alek sits on the arm of the chair and takes off his jacket, eyes fixed on Clarissa.

Her eyes flick between us. “She can’t go yet!”

“She’s not going anywhere.”

Folding her arms across her chest, Clarissa shakes her hair back over her shoulders. “You don’t need her right now. She can help me.”

“No, she can’t! Look at her!”

The girl edges closer and peers at me. “She’s faded.” Then she looks at Alek. “And you’re stronger. Did you do it? Why?”

“I haven’t touched her! And nor should you…” His voice growls enough of a warning the girl backs off.

“But you’ll share her? Lizzie said you’d help me do what I needed and I can’t do that on my own. I need...”

“Just fuck off,” he interrupts.

Clarissa snorts at him. Alek stands, moving toward her. “It wasn’t me; it was one of you. The one responsible has gone now. For good. And if you don’t leave me alone, you’ll be next.”

The pale girl’s face turns whiter, and she steps back. “No. You didn’t…wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

Throughout the conversation, my hearing dulls and keeping my eyes open is gradually more difficult.
Why can’t I go to sleep?
Alek and the girl continue their mysterious conversation about me, their words adding to the sensation I’m dreaming. Being talked about as if I’m some kind of commodity to be shared would normally get me up and yelling at them, but I can’t be bothered. The pain subsides as my mind blackens and sleep approaches.

The muted colours from the alleyway outside the pub are replicated in the lounge room, as if I’m in a black and white version of the house. I’m the only person here now; besides a strange whooshing noise in my ears, I can’t hear anything. Alek and the girl have vanished and I’m no longer cold. Bed. I need sleep. Dreaming about going to bed? Weird.

I climb the stairs, step by step, and pause when I get to the landing outside Alek’s room. The greyness darkens around me and the whooshing becomes a humming, voices clamouring in my head. I know I should go to bed, but my dreaming self wants to look in mysterious rooms. Not Alek’s, the one next to it where the girl came from that day. As I step closer, I notice light beneath the door, which relieves me because I didn’t want to walk into a dark room, even in my subconscious. I step closer to the door, hand outstretched. I know what’s behind the door: peace and quiet, away from annoying guys in leather jackets and freaky girls with red hair
.