Secret Worlds (302 page)

“I don’t care about what you are, Marren, only who you are. You’re someone extraordinary. The only person who could break down my walls and my guard. So, don’t dare tell me I don’t understand the magnitude of my words when I know well the weight they hold.”

Marren shifted his gaze from me and lifted his hand to his temple, making me feel rejected. Being dealt a low blow, I realized I had gotten my hopes up on something that didn’t exist. I left Marren brooding alone.

When I got to my room, I closed the door, happy to see a fire already roaring with life. I would have to remind myself to thank Enid when I saw him again. I walked to the table and pulled the comb out of my hair. It caught the glow of the fire, causing tiny beams of light to scatter along the gems. It was silver with red crystals set in shapes of flowers and silver leaves. I set it on the table and moved to take off the rest of the ridiculous outfit.

A rumble of thunder in the distance, followed by the cry of a lonely wolf, sounded through the air and chilled my skin. I ran to the balcony and pulled open the doors, only to be disappointed by the empty garden below. Not so much as a shadow moved within the trees. I walked back inside to continue undressing, leaving on the underdress. Parting the sheers surrounding the bed, I climbed in. I wanted nothing more than to pull the covers over me and shut out the rest of the world.

I woke from a fitful sleep with a loud clap of thunder that shook the room. I sat up, struggling to catch my breath, when I saw someone at the foot of the bed. “Marren?”

“I’m here.”

“What are you doing at the foot of my bed?” I said, impatient and still angry.

“I want you to see me…what I am,” he replied as if he was surrendering to something he didn’t want to do.

My heart raced. Questions and warnings rang in the back of my mind. One thing overwhelmed them all. Need. A need to know, a need to see, a need to keep him with me because I was too proud to admit I was too scared to be alone.

I moved slowly, crawling on top of the blankets and to the edge of the bed. I stood on my knees and took deep breaths to calm myself as lightning and thunder crashed and rain pelted the stone balcony. I reached with trembling hands and pulled the sheers apart slowly. Marren stood on the other side of the bench, patiently waiting for my reaction. He stood perfectly still, like a statue belonging in the ballroom with the other races, long fallen into myth and legend. Lighting flashed across his face, and I realized why he was so afraid.

I froze. Partly in terror and partly in awe. “You’re a werewolf.”

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked with uncertainty.

Of course, I was afraid. It wouldn’t be natural otherwise. I couldn’t tell him that. “No. More like…mesmerized.”

I leaned over the bench, reached out my hand and touched his face. Soft and smooth skin returned my touch, just as with the human part of him. My fingers traced the changes, moving over the rises and falls of his features. Goosebumps rose on my arms and trickled down my spine. Another flash of lightning shone on his face, his eyes were closed.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered.

“You—you don’t think I’m a monster?”

I laughed under my breath. “How could I?”

“This is what I am. If living a life with me is what you really want, you will need to eventually make the change as well,” his words echoed soundlessly through my mind, as well as the urgency within them.

I dropped my hand and sat back on my legs. “Before I can think about that, give me some answers.”

He nodded slowly.

“How old are you?”

“Old enough to have seen the changes in this world,” he spoke with sadness in his words.

“Does that mean you will you live forever?”

“Theoretically, yes.”

“So if I decide not to make the change, then…”

“It will kill me when you eventually die.”

“Why would my death kill you?” I fought a losing battle. Instead of getting answers, I found more questions.

His mouth opened as if he was going to answer, but then he closed it, looking out the window. Worry creased his brow.

I tried a different approach, “Is that the decision you warned me of?”

“I wouldn’t want you to rush into something like this. It takes time. With the company that’s coming, you’ll need to make that decision sooner than I had hoped.”

I climbed atop the bench and then stepped to the floor to stand in front of him; my knees were stiff from sitting on them. “When?”

“The decision will need to be made by tomorrow night.”

“What happens if I say no?”

“I would rather not think about that but considered that a possibility.”

“And?” I asked.

“I’m hoping you won’t,” he said.

“Why is it important to you for me to say yes?”

“Because, my world was never complete until you were a part of it, and you are my heart song.”

My mind emptied of everything. Every question, every thought and argument, even logic left my mind. Not once did I expect to hear words like his. I was never anything to anyone. My own father didn’t even want me, and yet, Marren did. The whirlwind of my life seemed less chaotic with him. He calmed the destructive force that claimed so much of me, and when I thought about not having him around, my heart hurt. I’ve always been told persistence wins over patience. I didn’t realize how true that was until now.

My decision was made.

I lifted my hands to his chest, his heart thumped against my touch. I inched close enough for his breath to blow over my neck and shoulders. His lips pressed into my forehead, but I could tell he was holding back.

I slid my hands around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. Fire pulsed through my veins, setting every nerve ending ablaze. Everywhere his hands touched, tingled like tiny bolts of lightning. Slowly, his arms wrapped around me as our kiss deepened. My feet left the floor as he carried me to the side of the bed, lying me down. His mouth traced the edge of my jaw and the length of my neck. He pulled away, letting his breath flow over my skin in warm waves.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.”

He pulled me into a sitting position as the light from another flash of lightning shone on his face. He was human again. “Why change back?”

“I don’t know. I suppose it’s because I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

I let my underdress fall off my shoulders to my waist. His eyes took me in, pausing on my scar ridden torso. I moved to cover myself, but he placed his hands on mine, moving them so his hand could trace the scars. I grabbed ahold of them when they started shaking.

“They’re only scars, Marren. Faded memories of a past I’m leaving behind.” My words came out calm and even, which was a surprise to me considering I was more nervous and unsure of myself than ever.

His shaking subsided as our eyes met.

“I promised to never run away from you. I owe you my life.”

“It will hurt,” he said, the warning thickened his voice.

“No more than it would if you turned me away.”

He pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the floor then kissed me again. I ran my fingers along the length of his back following the waves of muscle. His body was like fire and as hard as stone, yet when he touched me or kissed me, it was gentle and subtle, like the brush of a feather. He breathed into my ear, “I must bite you. I’ll try to be as gentle as possible. I won’t know if you’re hurting unless you tell me.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

He faced me. “You must tell me if it hurts. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” I said and pressed my lips to his, finding his kiss very addictive and that no amount would satiate me. A small fear crept into my mind. What if I’m not enough? What if he’s had better? I pulled away from him. He looked at me with pursed eyebrows and was so still it was like he was afraid to move.

“H-have you done this with anyone else?” I whispered to prevent my voice from shaking.

“Werewolves are like regular wolves.”

I shook my head not understanding.

“We only fall in love once. You’re my heart song, Relena. I’ve waited countless years for you. I’m never going to let you go nor could I ever turn you away.” His lips found mine as the weight of his body forced me on my back.

As he removed the rest of our clothing, his words rang in my head with a meaning I didn’t yet comprehend.
You’re my heart song, Relena. I’m never going to let you go…

When he entered me, it hurt but it quickly became the best sensation in the world. I clawed him as a small moan escaped me, making him push harder into me. The way we moved was like a dance, a constant rhythm and movement with our hands everywhere. Pressure pooled at my center, slowly building and moving farther down. I craved release. Needed it. He had brought me to a level of euphoria I never thought was attainable. I wrapped my legs and arms around him as he pulled me into his lap. He brushed my hair from my neck and shoulders and kissed the skin there.

“Forever,” he breathed into my neck. The warmth forced me to fight a shiver.

“Forever.”

He kissed my neck a few more times and then inhaled deep before biting into my skin. Intense stinging burned through my skin. I scratched him, causing him to bite harder and the intensity to increase. I cried out and gripped his shoulders from under his arms and waited for the pain to subside.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a shaky whisper.

“I’m perfect,” I said.

He breathed a chuckle then resumed kissing me and making love once more.

***

The sun brightened the sky outside my room, and the light filtered in as a breeze caused the curtains to dance along the floor. I studied the contrast in skin tones between our arms. His pinned me against his torso and refused to let me budge at all since falling asleep. I had different emotions ranging from pure elation, contentment, and apprehensiveness swirling within me. The elation was due to finally believing I was where I belonged. Content, because I wouldn’t mind if I never left this bed for the next hundred years. Apprehension because I was scared about the changes taking place in my body and worried about the company that had Marren on edge.

I started tracing the length of his arm with my finger, moving along the creases of his hands and over the bumps of his knuckles. He squeezed me tighter, pulling his other arm around me from under my neck and kissed my shoulder. My body’s excitement grew with his touch. So easily he had me willing to give myself to him again. All with just a tiny touch.

I rolled over to face him, draping my arm over his side and satisfying my craving for his kiss. He chuckled again, and it forced me to pause and take in the way my heart danced. “I don’t know if I will ever get used to that.”

“I hope not,” he said.

“You know what I’m feeling?”

He smiled. “Yes. It’s what happens when heart songs finds the person they were meant to be with. Their heart dances when they hear their love’s laughter.”

“Does yours do it too?” I asked, a bit anxious.

“Yes. It also cries when you’re in immense emotional pain.” His eyes darkened, and I realized his thumb was grazing the top of a scar.

“How long have you experienced this?”

“Since the day you breathed your first breath.”

“That must have been miserable for you.”

“Only because I couldn’t comfort you. It’s all I wanted to do, but you had it in your mind I was nothing but a
dissident seducer
, I believe that was the term you used.” He squeezed me, holding me close to him while he rolled to his back. “How did you sleep?”

“Like last night was, by far, the best night of my existence.”

“It was for me, too. I’ve waited for you for a while. How much did I hurt you?”

“You didn’t…not really. How much did I scratch you?”

“You didn’t. They’re already healed.” He smiled at me.

“Well, at least I will always have your smile if the sun dies. If we’re keeping track, you did seduce me.”

“
Gvgeyu, waya uwoduhi
.” The words flowed off his tongue as he moved my hair to my back.

I smiled, enchanted by his words. “What does that mean?”

“It’s the language of the therianthropes and means something like I love you, but much deeper than the human connotation.”

“It’s…beautiful. So, A’lainn means beautiful?”

“No.”

I stared hard at him. Confused, I said, “Enid told me—”

“Enid’s native language is different from mine.”

“Isn’t he a werewolf also?”

“Everyone under this roof is, or will be as soon as you complete the change.”

“When will that be?”

“On the first night of the blue moon, because that is when the pull of energy is the strongest, which can mean waiting quite some time before it happens, but then it’s much harder and unexpected. After the first time, you will be able to change every night except during dark nights.”

“When is the next blue moon?” My voice cracked leading on to my fear.

“We are already in it, so I’m not sure when you will change. You won’t be alone; I’ll be here with you. Until then, there’s training to do.”

He rolled me to my back again. A giggle burst out of me. His lips brushed my neck, moving slowly toward my mouth, leaving kisses every so often. His hands clung to mine, pinning them to the bed on either side of my head. Fire filled my veins again as my body anticipated him. All this dissolved the instant a knock filled the room.

Marren dropped his head to my chest and said, “I’ll be right back.”

I stared as he pulled on his pants, tied their laces, and then slipped on his shirt. Then, he walked to the door. I pulled the sheets and blanket up over my body even though I was sure no one would see much. The door clicked closed followed by some raised voices in his native language.

I decided to climb over to the bench where my robes waited for me and pulled them on. I waited near the door, listening as the shouts moved further down the hall. I turned the handle, the door opening easily this time. A clank against the other side of it drew my attention to my sword, resting in a sheath and belt, with a note attached which read,
You were busy, so I sharpened it for you. I hope you find it to your liking. ~Enid.