Secret Weapon (24 page)

“Anxious, are we?” He kissed her again, then pressed his cock forward.

Slowly, it pushed into her. First, his cockhead pressed inside, and he stayed poised like that, smiling at her. Her insides ached for him. She wiggled a little, trying to get him deeper. He grinned, then began to move forward slowly, filling her a little at a time.

She sucked in air, loving the feel of his big, hard cock gliding into her, deeper and deeper. Then he thrust the last little bit and she gasped. Her internal muscles clenched around him, like a tight, erotic hug. Instead of pulling back and thrusting, he stayed deep inside her. She gazed up at him and almost gasped at the warm, loving look in his olive green eyes. That look touched something deep inside her.

His lips brushed lightly against her, then across her cheek and her forehead. Then he captured her mouth and his lips moved on hers with a depth of passion that took her breath away. He drew back and glided into her again, his mouth still locked to hers. Then again. Drawing back and thrusting. Back and thrusting. Filling her with his big cock. His mouth moving on hers, his tongue engaging hers in an erotic dance.

Sensations swirled around her and through her. Passion, lust, pleasure, tenderness.

He thrust again. She pulled her mouth free and gasped. He nuzzled her neck and she arched her body, lurching against his hand still grasping her wrists. She felt mastered but cared for and cherished at the same time. He drove deep and swirled inside her, then drew back and thrust again.

Pleasure rippled through her, then swelled. She gasped again at his next thrust and moaned.

“Oh, God, Janine.” He kissed her again. “I love you.”

His cock drove into her again.

“I … Oh…” God, what could she say?

She gasped as he drove deep again. Her thoughts melted away.

Another thrust and joy blasted through her. “Oh, God, that’s so good.”

“Good, huh?” he said with an unreadable grin. He thrust faster and deeper. Her joy turned to ecstasy as she clung to him and catapulted to heaven.

He groaned and thrust forward one more time, pinning her to the bed as he shuddered, releasing inside her. Finally, he collapsed on her and they clung to each other, gasping.

After a moment, he rolled to his side and drew her tight to his body. He kissed her. Tenderly. Sweetly. As the fire subsided and Janine caught her breath, his words echoed through her mind.

I love you.

Oh, man. What was she going to do now?

Twenty

Janine set down her cell phone, having just finished typing in a text message to Sloan. One of several this morning. She wrapped her hands around her warm coffee cup and took a sip as she gazed out the big living room window, not seeing the view beyond.

She was worried about Sloan. He’d disappeared into the night, out in the middle of nowhere. Something could have happened to him. He could have been hit by a car, or murdered, or …

Her heart thundered in her chest and she sucked in a deep breath. She knew she was being silly. Sloan could take care of himself. He was a cop, for heaven’s sake.

But then, Ben had been, too.

Her chest compressed. God, if anything happened to Sloan … She couldn’t lose him, too.

She picked up her cell and checked for messages again, to ensure she hadn’t missed his response. Nothing.

Maybe he was just mad at her. Or, more likely, he was hurt and needed some space.

Damn it, had she screwed everything up?

“Hey, you look like you’re deep in thought.” Liam sat down beside her and laid his arm against the back of the couch so his hand curled around her shoulder.

“I have a lot to think about.” She stared at the black coffee in her cup.

“About us … or about Sloan?”

She hesitated.
Both.
But she didn’t want to tell him that.

He drew her close and captured her lips. “You and I should talk about last night. How we feel about each other. And where this is going.”

She smiled. “Gee, a guy who’s willing to talk about the relationship. That’s novel.”

Except that Sloan wanted to talk about the relationship, too. Unfortunately, she had no answers for Sloan. At least not ones he wanted to hear.

Not that she knew what answers she’d have for Liam. Why did relationships have to be so complicated? Up until now, she’d been able to keep them simple. Casual.

But now that Sloan and Liam had started to pursue her, her whole sense of what a relationship should be—at least for her—was spinning out of control, like a merry-go-round on steroids, leaving her dizzy and disoriented.

“Okay, let’s talk,” she said. “But first I need to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“What do you think about the fact that I have sex with Derek and Jonas and…?” She hesitated.

“And Sloan?”

She nodded.

“Well, it’s pretty hot.”

“You don’t think there’s anything wrong with it?”

“Of course not. All of you obviously have a strong mutual respect and a lot of affection for each other. And you don’t just grab any guy off the street and jump in the sack with him, I assume.”

“When I first had sex with you, I didn’t even know who you were.” She stared at her cup, swirling the liquid around inside it.

“Yeah, but that was a stranger fantasy and you trusted Sloan’s judgment. And Sloan is exceptionally trustworthy.”

“A lot of people would think that I’m … a little reckless.”

“Look, sweetheart. When it all comes down to it, it’s just sex. There’s nothing wrong with a little recreational sex. And living out your fantasies.” He grinned. “That’s incredibly exciting.” He tipped up her chin and gazed into her uncertain blue eyes. “And I think when you find you want a deeper relationship, you’ll make some man … or men … very happy.”

Her eyes widened.

“So you’d be … open to a long-term relationship with me … and other men?”

“I want to be with you. If you want to be with me, too, long-term … then we’ll figure it out.”

“I … um … last night, when you said…”

“When I said ‘I love you’ and you said ‘that’s so good’? Or were you just commenting on my technique?”

“I…” She took his hands in hers. “I have to be honest with you. I think the world of you, but…” Oh, damn, how could she say this?

The gleam in his eyes faded and he slumped a little. “Oh, boy. Here it comes.”

She squeezed his hands. “Liam, you just got out of a long-term relationship. Isn’t it possible you’re just a little eager to find someone? That you really want to be in a relationship so you’ve convinced yourself you’re in love with me?”

He stroked her hair from her face, tucking it behind one ear with a gentleness that touched her heart. “Janine, you’re a very special woman. I don’t have to convince myself to love you.”

She tipped her head and smiled. “That’s very sweet, and I told you I feel something special for you, too, but it’s not love. Isn’t it possible that what you feel for me isn’t love, either?”

His lips compressed and he shook his head slowly. “I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want to let you go. I want to keep seeing you.” He drew her closer, his green eyes staring deeply into hers, and cupped her cheek. “To keep touching you, and holding you.”

She smiled. “And making love to me.”

“And definitely making love to you.”

She leaned forward and kissed him. A sweet, tender kiss. “And I want that, too. We have a very special connection.” She kissed him again. “But not love. Okay?”

He nodded. “Maybe I was a little overzealous. I’ve just never met anyone like you before.” He leaned back. “So let me ask you something.”

“What’s that?”

“Are you in love with Sloan?”

Her heart thundered in her chest at his words. She pursed her lips. “That’s … a little complicated.”

“Okay. Then let me ask this: How long has Sloan been in love with you? Because he must be, or he wouldn’t have stormed off because he thinks I’m in love with you.” Liam watched her expression turn guilty. “Or was it that he decided you’re in love with me?”

That would have been Sloan’s real worry.

“Sloan has been in love with me for a long time. He just … decided not to act on it until recently. When he left L.A…” She shrugged. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence he chose to come here. He wanted to start up a relationship with me. I didn’t want to close him out—he and I have a lot of history—but maybe I shouldn’t have allowed our relationship to become intimate. I just didn’t want to turn him away and … I thought it was the only way to convince him that … you know … he and I would never work out.”

*   *   *

Liam just stared at her, unable to believe his ears. He’d thought she and Sloan had known each other only for a matter of weeks—months at the outside—but now he realized she and Sloan had known each other for a long time. In fact, from the sound of things …

“Wait a minute. How long have you and Sloan known each other?”

She glanced at Liam.

“We grew up together, back in L.A.”

“Did you … have a brother? Who was a cop?” he asked.

She stared at him. Her eyes shimmered slightly.

“Yeah. Ben. He … died several years ago.”

He took her hand. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t like that his question had nudged her old pain, but right now he had to know. “Your brother and Sloan, they were best friends, right?”

She nodded. “How did you know?”

“I knew there was someone he’d been hung up on for years—someone from his past. I just didn’t realize it was you.”

She lowered her gaze. “He sure picked the wrong woman, didn’t he? If it hadn’t been for me, maybe he would have found someone better—someone
normal
—and he’d be a whole lot happier than he is now.”

“You’d don’t know that. And you do make him happy. That’s why he’s so hung up on you. The man is in love with you, Janine. Maybe you should let yourself love him, too.”

Liam’s phone blipped and he pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the display.

We need to talk. I’m at the Blue Mountain restaurant around the corner.

— Sloan

What the hell? Liam had Sloan’s cell phone, since he’d left it behind, so Sloan must be using his Netbook. He loved that thing. But how did Sloan know Liam was here?

And what did Sloan want to talk to him about? Clearly, it was the situation with Janine, but what? Would he ask Liam to step aside and end all future involvement with Janine?

He glanced at her.

“Look, I have to go. Something’s come up.” He had no intention of telling her he was going to talk to Sloan. She wouldn’t be happy they were going to talk about the situation without her, but Sloan and Liam couldn’t really express themselves honestly if she were there.

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you later,” she said.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. “You can bet on it.” With that, he strode out.

Twenty-one

As soon as Liam left, Janine sank onto the sofa and simply stared at the door.
Maybe you should let yourself love him, too.

If only it were that easy.

Oh, damn. Why the hell couldn’t Sloan just move on and find someone new? Sure, they had chemistry together. Damned strong chemistry. But they didn’t share the same outlook on love. They were not compatible.

Were they?

She fiddled with her ring. Could it be that she was wrong, not Sloan? Was her obsessive refusal to consider any other lifestyle a refusal to grow and evolve? Should she be moving on to a different type of relationship? Thinking about settling down and embracing one love?

She certainly didn’t follow a traditional way of doing things, and if she chose to settle in and follow the norm … it would certainly make life easier.

And she could be with Sloan. Make him happy. And herself, too, since she really did love him.

Could she make it work with Sloan?

*   *   *

Sloan watched Liam step through the glass door into the rustic restaurant. He glanced around, then spotted Sloan and walked over. He slid onto the upholstered seat across from Sloan in the wooden booth.

“How’d you know I was at Janine’s?” Liam asked.

“I saw your car in visitors’ parking.”

Sloan had come by to talk to Janine this morning, to see if he could square things with her. When he’d seen Liam’s car, anxiety had gripped him. Liam’s suitcase was still in the backseat, which meant he probably hadn’t gone home. If he’d stayed the night, Sloan was sure they hadn’t spent the whole time talking.

The waitress came by and poured Liam a coffee and offered him a menu.

“Just coffee,” Liam said.

So, he’d already had breakfast.

Jealousy washed through Sloan, but he knew he had to conquer it. Liam spending the night didn’t mean Janine was in love with him. It just meant she’d probably had sex with him. That was part of the arrangement, and Sloan had to get past his obsessive jealousy about it. Anyway, it wasn’t really the sex that bothered him.

Whether Janine was in love with Liam or not, he was a reality in her life, and Sloan had to get over it.

Liam pushed the steaming coffee to one side, folded his hands on the table, and leaned forward. “Sloan, Janine and I were talking this morning and…” He shook his head. “I didn’t realize who Janine is.”

“What do you mean who she is?”

“I mean, I didn’t realize she’s the sister of your old friend. That she’s the one you’ve been in love with for a long time.”

What the hell? How did Liam even know about his feelings for Ben’s sister?

“Come on, Sloan. I know you don’t open up much, but when you told me about your friend … when you talked about his sister … it wasn’t hard to figure out.” His lips compressed. “I knew you were in love with her. I just didn’t know she and Janine were the same person.”

Sloan’s eyes narrowed. “So what are you saying? That you’ll step aside so I can have the girl?”