Secret Admirer (11 page)

“So that’s the thanks I get for going to talk to Brett for you?” asked Chelsea.

“You did it all wrong,” said Amy.

“I thought you wanted to know if he was your secret admirer, Amy.”

“But not like that.”

“How else was I supposed to get to the bottom of it?”

“I don’t know …” Amy looked down at the table and sighed sadly. This was turning into a big fat mess.

“But you said part of it was good, Chelsea,” pointed out Morgan. “Tell us the good part.”

Amy looked up with a smidgeon of hope now. Was it possible that despite the fact that Brett hadn’t written that note — or had denied it in front of his friends — that perhaps he liked her anyway? “Yeah,” said Amy. “What was the
good
part?”

“Well, I guess it was more like good for
me …”
Chelsea looked slightly uncomfortable now.

“Good for you?” demanded Amy. “What do you mean?”

Chelsea made a sheepish smile. “Well, it turned out that Brett wanted to get to know
me
better. He was actually glad that I came up and spoke to him.”

“So you go up there and totally humiliate me by telling Brett Woods that I thought he was my secret admirer and then when he denies it — and why wouldn’t he with all his friends looking on? — you go ahead and put the moves on him while you’re at it?” Amy’s embarrassment was quickly turning to anger now.

“I did NOT put the moves on him, Amy,” said Chelsea. “I just talked to him, and we had a few laughs. I can’t help it if he likes me.”

“And I suppose you can’t help it that you go over there to do me a favor, to talk to the boy I like, and then you end up stealing my guy right out from under my nose? And you think that’s perfectly fine?” Okay, Amy knew she was being irrational, but this hurt. It hurt a lot.

“He wasn’t
your
guy to steal, Amy.”

“But you didn’t know that.”

“Come on, Amy,” said Chelsea. “Don’t be mad at me. Let’s go get some lunch. He wasn’t your secret admirer. It’s no big deal.”

“Maybe not to you.” Amy stood now. “But it
is
to me. It’s a big deal, Chelsea. You knew that I liked Brett, and you just went in there and flirted and took advantage of —”

“I did
not
flirt.”

“You sort of did,” said Carlie. “We were watching you.”

“I was just being myself,” said Chelsea defensively.

“It kind of looked flirty to me,” said Emily.

“So you’re taking Amy’s side on this?” asked Chelsea in a hurt tone.

“No one’s taking sides.” Morgan let out a groan now. “See, this is what happens when you get all boy crazy, Amy.”

“No,” said Amy. “This is what happens when someone you trust betrays you.”

“Amy,” said Chelsea. “Brett’s just not into you. I can’t help that.”

“No,” said Amy again. “I guess you can’t.” Then she turned and walked away. Okay, she knew she was acting really stupid now. But she just couldn’t help it. Then Amy headed for the girls’ restroom, went into a stall, and actually cried. As silly as it seemed, she just cried. After a few minutes she came out and washed her face with cold water, removing the last traces of that stupid makeup. And, although she was hungry, she couldn’t force herself to return to the cafeteria. Instead, she got an apple and some nuts from the snack machine and decided to go back to the band room to eat it. Mr. Barnett, the band teacher, always encouraged kids to practice there during lunch break, but usually no one took him up on it. Amy didn’t intend to practice now. Mostly she just wanted a quiet
getaway. And when she saw first chair empty, she decided to sit in it. Someday this chair was going to be hers anyway. She sat down and took a bite out of her apple, trying to figure out just where she’d gone wrong and what it would take to fixit.

“What’s
your
problem?”

Startled to see that she wasn’t alone, Amy looked up. And, naturally, Oliver Fitzgerald had decided to come to the band room today. Just great!

Amy narrowed her eyes at him without answering.

“Well, at least you washed your face,” he said as she took the chair, second chair, next to her. “That’s an improvement.”

She turned and glared at him now.

“Really, Second Chair, you look much better without all that gloppity goop on —”

“Just shut up!”
she said angrily. Then she stood, tossed her uneaten apple in the trash can by the door, and marched out of the band room, slamming the door behind her. She knew that she’d been incredibly rude, but she just didn’t care.

Amy laid low for the rest of the day. Not only did she avoid Brett Woods, but she also managed to avoid her friends as well. And as soon as the final release bell rang, Amy hurried from her last class. Then, instead of going to their regular meeting place, at the end of the seventh
grade locker bay, Amy made a quick exit and headed toward town. She knew her friends would wonder what had become of her, but she didn’t care. She was too humiliated to care about anything.

Okay, as Amy slowly made her way toward town she decided she
did
care about a couple of things. 1) She cared that her feet were screaming in pain from these horrible, horrible shoes. She didn’t know how other girls could stand them, and short or not, Amy did not intend to wear them again — ever! And 2) she cared about the fact that her stomach was growling with hunger. Amy was starving!

“What’re you doing here?” snapped Ly as Amy slipped in the backdoor. She frowned at Amy’s feet now. “And what are you wearing?”

“Don’t even ask,” said Amy. And suddenly tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Ly seemed to soften now. “What’s wrong?” she asked in a surprisingly kind voice.

“I’ve had the worst day of my life,” said Amy as she came into the kitchen. And then she removed the despised shoes and actually dumped them into the big trash can.

Ly put an arm around Amy’s shoulders now. “Come with me,” she said, guiding Amy toward the office. “Mom and Dad are meeting with the upholstery man, talking about getting the booths redone. An is out getting supplies, and Tu is out front, balancing the till after the lunch
rush — it was Lyons Club Tuesday.” Then she set Amy down in one of the easy chairs and opened the coat closet and rummaged around until she emerged with a pair of white canvas sneakers. “These might be a little big,” she said as she handed them to Amy.

“Thanks.” Amy sniffed as she slipped on the shoes, which turned out to be only about a half size too big.

“So, why is this your worst day ever?” asked Ly as she sat in the chair across from Amy.

Normally Amy didn’t tell Ly too much about her life — mostly because Ly was usually too busy or too grumpy or too bossy. But suddenly Amy was pouring out the whole sad story. And as she told Ly, she almost expected her oldest sister to laugh — because in some ways it did sound a little silly. Or perhaps Ly might even scold Amy for being so foolish. But Ly just nodded and when Amy finally finished, she simply said, “I know how you feel, Amy.”

Amy blinked. “You do?”

Ly nodded. “I don’t have time to go into all of it right now, but I’ve been there too, Amy. I’ve experienced that same sort of thing myself.”

“You have?”

“It’s a hard lesson to learn … that it’s better just to be yourself, Amy. But in the end it’s worth it.”

Amy was stunned. But instead of questioning her sister, she just nodded.

“So, you missed lunch?” Ly stood now. “You must be starving.”

“I am.”

Soon, Ly returned with a plate heaped with food, which Amy quickly devoured. One thing about having a family restaurant — you didn’t usually go hungry. And with a full stomach and feet that were no longer throbbing, Amy decided that maybe she was ready to walk home.

“Thanks, Ly,” she said before she left. “For everything.” Then to Amy’s surprise, she actually hugged her sister. Ly looked surprised too, but she just smiled. Of course, in typical Ly-style she then rushed Amy out the backdoor, saying she had to get back to work now and reminding her to “be good!”

As Amy walked home she considered her day. On one hand, it had been lousy — totally a mess. She’d been humiliated in front of Brett Woods and his friends, finding out that he was not her secret admirer. By now she knew that when he’d smiled at her, he was probably actually laughing at her. The same way that stupid Oliver Fitzgerald had laughed at her. Even her own friends had questioned her “new look,” which she was beginning to understand now. And then she’d gotten into a fight with Chelsea … because she’d been jealous. Really, it was a nasty day that she never wanted to relive again. And yet being with Ly just now, hearing that she understood … well, that was something.

Suddenly Amy remembered that today was supposed to be their homework afternoon. She wondered if the others were already there. She also remembered that she had promised to help Carlie with algebra. So, stopping off at home long enough to dump her backpack, change into comfortable clothes, and leave a note, Amy hurried on over to the clubhouse. She was surprised to see that no one was there yet. But she knew she had the day right. So she unlocked the door, went in and turned on the lights and the little heater, and made herself at home.

After a day like today, it felt particularly comforting to be back in the clubhouse. She just wished her friends were here too. She wanted to apologize to them — especially Chelsea — for acting like such a brat. After a while, she decided to put on a vinyl record. She thumbed through the stack of oldies (they had come with the bus) until she found a colorful old Beatles album called
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
. She had to laugh at the title, since she felt like she could relate to being a “lonely heart.” Maybe she should start a club herself, she thought as she put the needle carefully onto the record. And then after she played the song — and then played it again — she got an idea. And, as she played the song a third time, Amy’s idea grew bigger. She would start her own Lonely Hearts Club!

“There you are!” declared Morgan as she and the
other girls piled into the bus and began peeling off jackets and backpacks, piling them here and there.

“Where have you been?” demanded Carlie, shaking her finger at Amy.

“Yeah, we’ve been looking all over for you,” said Emily.

“I’m sorry,” said Chelsea quietly. “I know you ran off because of me.”

“No,” said Amy. “I ran off because of me. I’m sorry too, you guys. I was really acting like a brat today. I mean, I thought I was being all grown-up and mature, but really I was acting like a big baby.”

Soon they were all hugging and apologizing, and Amy felt mostly better. Okay, she was still a little irked at Chelsea and still a little hurt that Brett had denied being her secret admirer, but other than that, she was feeling more like her old self.

“And I got an idea,” she announced as they began to sit down and get comfortable.

“An idea for what?” asked Morgan with interest.

So Amy told them about playing the old Beatles album and how it had affected her. “And so I have decided to create a Lonely Hearts Club myself,” she told them.

“Huh?” Emily frowned. “What is that exactly? Like some kind of matchmaking service?”

“You don’t mean something like those online dating
websites?” asked Morgan. “My mom has been threatening to try out one of the Christian sites, but I think it sounds totally freaky.”

“No, nothing like that,” Amy explained. “This is more like a
secret
club.”

“A
secret
Lonely Hearts Club?” Carlie looked totally confused. “That sounds pretty creepy to me.”

“Yeah, I have to admit that it sounds a little weird to me too,” said Chelsea. “I mean, we all saw what happened today when I tried to help Amy with Brett. It got pretty messed up.”

“Yeah, that was not cool,” said Morgan. “Why would you want to do something like that —”

“No-no-no!” declared Amy. “You guys just don’t get it. That’s not the point!” Suddenly Amy felt discouraged all over again, like maybe this idea was just as lame as the makeup and shoes she’d worn to school today. Maybe Amy should learn to just lay low and keep her mouth shut. Certainly, that would be much less embarrassing than being teased by her friends!

“So what is the point of this secret Lonely Hearts Club?” asked Emily after the bus had grown quiet and Amy was ready to completely abandon her idea. Really, what had she been thinking? Why did she think they would understand? She pressed her lips together and just frowned at her friends. She didn’t want to talk. In fact, she was tempted to walk out just now.

“Come on, Amy,” urged Morgan more softly. “Tell us.
What is the point?
”

“Fine!” Amy stood up now. “You’ll probably just make fun of me all over again. But the point is there are a lot of sad people out there, people who have
lonely hearts
.”

“And?”
Carlie nodded like she wanted Amy to continue.

“And I think they need to know someone cares about them.”

“Yes,” said Morgan with an encouraging smile. “That’s a nice idea. Go on.”

“Okay,” said Amy. “There are people like my sister Ly. I was talking to her after school today, and I started to see her in a whole new way. I mean, sometimes I just think
she’s a big bossy grump, but suddenly I realized that maybe she’s had her heart broken too. And I felt sorry for her. And I got to thinking about how it will be Valentine’s Day next week, and there’s all this focus on love and romance … you know?”

“Yes,” said Emily eagerly — like she understood. “Go on!”

“And, well, I wondered if some of those lonely hearts might actually be lonelier than usual. And I thought about how it felt kind of good to get a note from, you know, a secret admirer — I mean, even if it wasn’t Brett Woods, it was still nice.” Amy sighed. “So I thought maybe we could become sort of like secret admirers too — you know, for the people we know who might feel like lonely hearts on Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s a fantastic idea!” said Emily, clapping her hands.

Amy blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“I love it!” said Carlie.

Morgan nodded with equal enthusiasm. “Me too! And we could even include my mom. She sometimes gets kind of sad around Valentine’s Day too. Especially if she’s not dating at the time, which is the case this year.”

“And my mom is lonely too,” added Emily quietly.

“And I was thinking about Miss McPhearson,” said Amy. “Living by herself … and we haven’t been to see her since Christmastime.”

“And how about Mrs. Hardwick down the street?” said Carlie. “Her husband died last year.”

“And Mrs. Drimmel at the library,” added Emily. “She’s a widow too.”

“And how about guys?” said Morgan. “Like Mr. Greeley.”

“Mr. Greeley!”
they all squealed at once.

“He would never admit it in a million years, but I know he’d love to get a secret admirer note!” exclaimed Emily.

“What about Mr. Hilliard?” suggested Chelsea. “He’s single.”

Emily laughed. “Yeah, and every girl in seventh grade has a crush on him, Chelsea. He probably already gets lots of secret admirer notes.”

But more and more names were tossed out, and the enthusiasm for Amy’s idea seemed to be steadily growing.

“So what will we do for all these lonely hearts?” said Carlie.

“Do we just write them each a secret admirer note?” asked Chelsea.

“That’s a start,” said Amy. “But I think we can do better than that.”

“How about if we
make
them something?” suggested Morgan.

“Homemade valentines?” queried Emily.

“How about cookies too?” said Amy.

“And flowers,” added Carlie.

And soon they had a complete plan. They would put together secret admirer valentine packs for every lonely heart they could think of. Chelsea offered to supply the heart-shaped pink boxes — she’d seen some with her mom at the craft store. Morgan would bring the valentine-making supplies. They would use Amy’s kitchen to make cookies. And Emily would bring a book of poetry that they could use for transcribing onto the valentines. “Just in case we can’t come up with something original for each one,” she told them.

“Well, we better start by making a list,” said Amy, grabbing for the notebook that Emily used for meeting notes. “You’re the secretary, Emily. Want to write them down?”

So the girls all started throwing out names again. Even more this time than before. And between single or widowed neighbors and friends, family members, and teachers at school, the list grew longer and longer.

“What ab out kids at school?” said Amy suddenly. “I mean, most of our list seems to be for older people, which is great … but what about kids like, well, like Susan Brinks.”

Chelsea made a face. “That girl actually smells.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say,” said Morgan.

“But it’s true. I have to sit next to her in home ec. And, believe me, I try to keep my distance.”

“Exactly,” said Amy. “Everyone tries to keep their distance from someone like Susan Brinks, which means she is probably really, really lonely. She needs a secret admirer more than anyone!”

“But how do we sneak our Lonely Hearts packages to kids at school without being seen?” asked Chelsea. “It’s not like we can slip it into their lockers.”

“Maybe we should do something smaller for kids at school,” suggested Emily.

“Yes,” said Amy. “Something like the note I found in my locker only more like a real valentine. But something that would slip between the vent slots.”

“I’ll make a separate list for those valentines,” said Emily as she tore off another sheet of notebook paper.

So they all began tossing out even more names. And to Amy’s dismay, even Oliver Fitzgerald’s name wound up on their list. However, Amy decided that she’d let one of the other girls cover for him. No way was she going to send him a secret admirer’s note!

“Wow,” said Emily as she held up two nearly full pages of names. “There are a lot of lonely hearts in Boscoe Bay.”

Although distracted with ideas for their Lonely Hearts Club, Amy reminded them of why they’d met this afternoon. “Remember homework and wanting to keep our
grades up to get into Honor Society?” she said, nodding directly to Carlie now. “Didn’t you want help with your algebra?”

And so, somewhat reluctantly, they set to doing homework. But before they finished up and went home, they decided to meet during the following weekend to put together their Lonely Hearts Club packages.

“We should plan on several hours to get it all done,” said Morgan. “How about if we meet at one o’clock on Saturday and give it most of the afternoon?”

“And I’ll check with my mom about baking cookies,” said Amy as they walked back toward the mobile-home park.

Morgan slapped Amy on the back before they parted ways. “And really, Amy, the Lonely Hearts Club is a great idea.”

“Yeah,” agreed Emily. “Way to go.”

Carlie gave her a high five. And Chelsea gave her a slightly nervous smile. “And so you’re not mad at me anymore?” asked Chelsea in a cautious tone.

“Not really,” said Amy. “But I’m not going to say it didn’t hurt.”

Then they all said good-bye and went their separate ways. Amy was thankful that Chelsea’s mom was already there to pick her up. Otherwise, Amy would’ve felt like she should invite Chelsea to wait at her house. And,
although Amy was working on forgiving Chelsea, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to be alone with her just yet.

Amy unlocked the door and turned on the porch light. As usual, no one was at Amy’s house during the dinner hour. She could see that her parents had been home, but by now they would be back at work. And she knew all she needed to do was to call and someone, probably An, would dash over and pick her up so she could spend the evening with them at the restaurant. But she was used to being on her own in the evenings. Plus, she needed to practice clarinet and finish up some homework. And, she was tired. It had been a long and exhausting day. Mostly she just wanted to forget all about it! At least the first half anyway. The second part had been much better.

Later that night, after her parents had gotten home and the lights were turned off and Amy was in bed, she thought about her old daydreams of going to the Valentine’s Day dance and her silly hopes that Brett Woods would notice her and ask her to dance. Not only did that seem totally hopeless now, but to make matters worse, Amy realized that it was highly likely that Brett would invite Chelsea to dance with him! And instead of Amy floating off to the dance floor with the hottest guy in seventh grade, it would be Chelsea. And instead of Amy’s friends being jealous of her, it would be Amy who would be jealous of Chelsea! Oh, why was life so unfair?

The next day, Amy decided to wear one of her new tops. But that was it. She was not wearing any of that stupid makeup. And she was definitely not wearing those ridiculous shoes which would probably be outside in the dumpster by now, due to be picked up by the garbage truck later today. Well, unless some dumpster diver found them. And they would be welcome to them!

Today, Amy just wanted to be herself. More than that, she did not want to be jealous of Chelsea. And she did not want to go around moping about Brett Woods. Still, it was a challenge once she got to school and saw Chelsea. She could tell that she was glancing around, trying to spot Brett, probably hoping that Brett was trying to spot her. And it grew into an even bigger challenge when Amy noticed Brett chatting with Chelsea outside the cafeteria right before lunch. Usually, Chelsea and Amy went into lunch together since their other friends always got there before them. Today Amy went alone.

“Where’s Chelsea?” asked Emily when Amy set her tray down and joined her friends.

“Probably eating lunch with Brett-Baby,” said Amy in a voice that sounded more bitter than she liked.

“Seriously?” Morgan made a face.

“Probably not,” said Amy. “But they were talking.”

“You couldn’t pay me to eat lunch with a boy,” said Carlie.

“Yeah,” agreed Emily as she took a big bite out of her burger then talked with her mouth full. “That would totally ruin my appetite.”

They laughed, but Amy was watching the door, waiting to see if Chelsea and Brett would come inside together. Surely they wouldn’t actually eat lunch together. No one did that. Well, mostly no one. A few daring couples ate lunch together. But Amy agreed with Emily — eating with a boy would ruin her appetite too.

The four girls talked about their secret project. Morgan had already started to gather valentine-making supplies, and her grandma had given her a bunch of old packets of sequins and lace and things.

“This is going to be so fun,” said Emily.

“And I know where a bunch of wildflowers are already starting to bloom,” said Carlie. “I’ll gather as many as I can right before Valentine’s Day. We can tie them with a ribbon and stick them on top of the boxes.”

“How are we going to deliver all these?” asked Emily suddenly.

“I think Grandma will help,” said Morgan. “She really likes this idea, Amy. I told her you were the one who thought of it.”

Amy smiled. “Thanks.”

Then Chelsea and Brett walked into the lunchroom. Brett went to join his friends, and Chelsea came over to
their table, pulling a rumpled paper sack from her backpack. “I’m brown-bagging it today.”

“How’s your boyfriend?” teased Carlie.

“He’s fine,” said Chelsea a little too smugly.

“So, you really think of him as your boyfriend?” questioned Amy.

Chelsea nodded as she pulled out a Ziploc bag of carrot sticks. “Sort of. Is that a problem?”

Amy shrugged. “I guess not. Although I guess I hoped you’d wait a day or two … you know.”

“But Amy, it’s not like you guys were actually going together, remember?”

“I know.” Amy nodded, trying to be mature.

“I agree with Amy,” said Morgan. “Out of respect for her feelings, you could’ve waited a few days, Chelsea.”

“Do you want me to break up with him?” asked Chelsea.

Amy wanted to say, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” But she just sat there.

“I will if you want me to, Amy.”

“I don’t really care,” said Amy. “Do what you think is best.”

“It might encourage you to know that Brett and I are trying to figure out who your secret admirer really is,” said Chelsea as she took a bite of her sandwich.

Amy looked up in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. Brett thought maybe it was Tyler Epperson.”

“Tyler Epperson?” Amy frowned. “Why him?”

“Brett thought it sounded like something Tyler might do. Besides that, Brett thinks that Tyler might like you.”

“Oh no,” said Carlie. “Here we go again. Boys, boys, boys! Seriously, Chelsea, can you just give it a break?”

“Yeah,” said Emily. “Why don’t you let poor Amy eat her lunch in peace today?”

“And the rest of us too,” added Morgan.

But suddenly Amy felt interested. What if Tyler really did like her? Oh, he wasn’t quite as good looking as Brett, but he wasn’t exactly chopped liver either. And he was a pretty good friend of Brett’s. And this might get her out onto the dance floor next week.

Suddenly, Amy held her hand up, shaping her thumb and little finger like a phone and mouthing the words
call me
to Chelsea. Naturally, Chelsea just grinned and nodded, and then the girls turned their conversation back to normal things — in other words,
not
boys. Instead, they talked about their Lonely Hearts project, which Amy was into. And then they talked about classes and whether or not they would go out for spring sports. Morgan and Carlie wanted to go out for track, but Emily and Chelsea thought softball would be more fun.

And, as usual, having a conversation about something besides boys did seem to make everyone happier. But,
once again, Amy had to ask herself why it was that her friends were so resistant to having anything to do with boys — and why didn’t they even seem to like talking to or about boys? And at the same time Amy admired them. And she even wished she could be more like them. Seriously, what good had it been for her to have that stupid crush — and then to be crushed by Brett Woods? And yet, Amy felt as if she was being pulled in again. Chelsea’s suggestion that Tyler liked her was all Amy could focus on, all she could think about. She couldn’t wait to talk to Chelsea and get the full story. But, at the same time, Amy wondered if she wasn’t being a total idiot for wanting to know more about Tyler. So what if Chelsea and Brett thought he could be her secret admirer? It was probably more likely that he wasn’t. And what if this ended up like it had with Brett? Or worse? What if Amy was the one who got hurt and humiliated all over again?