Seconds Before Sunrise (The Timely Death Trilogy) (15 page)

I remembered lying down to rest, but I didn’t know how I’d ended up outside. I swallowed my nerves.
“I’m going for a walk,” I said.

“But we should have dinner on the table soon—”

“I’ll be back,” I blurted out, rushing down the sidewalk before he could stop me. I didn’t care if he lectured me later. I had to get away.

The images of the glistening people fluttered
over my eyelashes as I forced my tears back. My brain was splitting. The people didn’t even look real. Their colors were washed out, and their words were muddled with death, discussing it like it was a minuscule thing. It didn’t make sense. And my gut knew it involved the boys I’d seen.

My s
trides widened as I broke out into a run. My hair whipped into my eyes, and it was the only part of my body I could feel. Everything else was numb as if I weren’t truly alive. I felt like I only existed in my dream − a ghost, a deniable existence − and the town passed by in rushed blurs of nothingness. I didn’t stop until it was my only choice.

My knees buckled, and I grabbed the nearest object
. The wood prevented me from falling over as I inhaled oxygen with the desperation I had felt all year. The tears I had held back were gone, yet I regretted it. I wanted to feel. I wanted to sob. I was praying
for tears, hoping that something – anything − would make me remember the reason I had left the safety of my own bed. But not even a single tear would create itself in my depression. Not one. No matter how hard I tried to concoct one.

“Jess—”

I spun around as if I’d been trained to fight. My hands were up, and my body had relaxed into a stilled stance. It wasn’t until I saw his face that I relaxed.

“Zac?”

In the midst of my panic attack, he had driven up to the side of the curb and parked Robb’s car. I hadn’t even noticed, but I did see what he was looking at my hands. I dropped them to my sides, but he followed my fingertips.

“What are you doing
here?” I asked, hoping to distract his attention away from whatever stance had overcome me. I had never even punched someone. “Why do you have Robb’s car?”

Without speaking, he opened the car door and stepped out. He towered over me as he closed in. “Are you r
unning from someone?” he asked, laying his palm on my shoulder.

I leapt away from his touch. “No.”

“You’re jumpy,” he accused.

“I’m not.”

His face flinched, but he didn’t attempt to get closer. “You’re kind of far from home, aren’t you?”

I glanced over my shoulder, surveying the
road. He was right. “I’m a long-distance runner,” I lied. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d jogged outside of gym class.

He cocked an eyebrow as if to argue my statement. “You aren’t wearing shoes, Jess.”

I had to look down to confirm it. He was right. Again.

“Feels more natural to me," I stuttered, grateful I’d at least worn sweatpants.

“I didn’t know you worked out,” he continued, and I shoved my hands into my pockets only to take them out again. I wanted my hands to be in front of me, and the gesture didn’t go unnoticed. Zac watched me.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re running from?”

“Because I’m not running from anything,” I said. “I’m just tired.”

“How about I give you a ride home?”

“I can walk.”

He grabbed my hand, and I froze. Even his loose grip was frightening. “Let me tak
e you,” he said, pointing a finger at my wrist. “You look like you scrapped yourself on that fence.”

I jerked away, more startled by his touch than by the b
lood I’d seen forming on my skin. It stung.

“If you walk, I’ll only drive next to you until you make it home,” he spoke as he walked back to Robb’s Suburban. “Wouldn’t want something to happen to you between here and there.” His words sounded more like a threat than a comfort.

“I doubt that would happen—”

“This town isn’t as nice as it seems,” he s
aid. He didn’t look at me as he opened the passenger door.

I hesitated.
“Are you seriously going to follow me?”

His chuckle shook me. “Try walking.”

He meant it. I groaned and stomped over to the passenger side. Without the adrenaline, I was starting to feel the ground beneath my bare feet, and I had to admit it felt nice to sit down. I shut the door, and he drove away.

“Thank you,” he said, even though it should’ve been the other way around. “I wish you would’ve agreed to it sooner.”

I glared out the window. “I told you, I was—”

“Exercising,” he finished, and I saw his momentary stare in the window’s reflection. “I don’t know why you feel the need to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.” This time, I was facing him.

“Your feet,” he said, pointing to the floor. “They’re not calloused enough for your alleged technique.”

I squeaked and slapped a hand over my mouth. He didn’t even jump at my sudden noise. He was as calm as the people in my dream that caused it all.

“It’s personal,” I said, hoping he’d stop prying.

“Isn’t everything with you?” he asked.

I curled my fingers into fists. “Did you offer me a ride to mock me?”

He didn’t respond as he turned the car down the street I lived on. “I remember where you live from prom,” he murmured, explaining something I’d never asked him to. “I’ve never apologized for what I did that night.”

My head throbbed. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking,” he continued.

I stopped him.
“What are you talking about?” I panicked as Crystal’s words from the restaurant resonated through me. She had said the same thing.

Zac blinked. “You don’t remember?”

“No.”

H
is face twisted like all of his features were trying to meld together.

“I’m sorry,” I s
tarted, but he stopped me.

“I suppose that’s a good thing,” he said, but his voice was strained. “It means we can start over.” We
− like he had grouped us together.

The tires crunched as he pulled into the driveway, taking one inch at a time. It felt like we’d never get to the front door, and I straightened my legs to prevent them from shaking. When he parke
d, I rushed for the exit, but the lock clicked.

M
y heart squeezed.

“Do you dislike me, Jess?” The whisper didn’t help.

I gripped the door handle. “Why would you ask that?”

“Why would you avoid
answering it?” he retorted. His cheekbones looked higher beneath the overhead light.

“I think you’re a nice guy,” I said, but his expression didn’t budge.

“You’re still avoiding it.” His intensity was suffocating the few inches between us.

I couldn’t breathe. My chances of successfully lying had diminished
.

“I thought
it was from prom,” he admitted. “But it can’t be that if you don’t—” He didn’t finish his sentence.

“Thanks for the ride,” I excused, yanking the lock up without permission. I pushed the door open and sprang out, slamming it behind me before I mustered the energy to
run inside. I didn’t want to be alone with Zac. Not even for a second.

Eric

“Are you sure you don’t want to come, Eric?” Mindy asked, twirling her nimble fingers through her red curls. Her wedding ring shined in the setting sun.

“I’m fine,” I dismissed myself as Noah hobbled by, tripping over his suitcase. I laid my hand on his head and lifted it from his hands. He froze as I avoided looking at the surprise on his face. “Don’t strain yourself,” I muttered, walking over to the packed car. I found a place for hi
s belongings and shut the door.

When I turned around, Min
dy perked up. “That was nice of you.”

“He’ll be able to ge
t it himself soon,” I said.

Noah straightened his shoulders. “I could’ve gotten it myself,” he argued, but his
voice was light. He was happy.

“You can
get it at your aunt’s house,” I said.

H
e jittered. “I will.”

I fought a smile from spreading over my lips. My stepbrot
her was getting taller, and I hadn’t noticed.

“You’ll be in middle school next year, won’t you?” I asked,
and he strode over to the car.

“Yeah.” He didn’t seem
as excited as a preteen should’ve been. I wondered if he looked like his father − a man that skipped out when Noah was born.

“Are you going to be okay
by yourself?” Mindy asked.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Shouldn’t be too difficult,” I
said, but my father didn’t speak. He was the one to convince them to leave for the week, but it wasn’t out of sincerity. His absence would help disguise his identity since he talked to the Light. I had already told my teachers he had been gone all week.

“We’ll be right down the street,” Mindy continued, but I knew the exaggeration. They’d be on the opposite side of the town
− far enough away that I was surprised it was considered part of Hayworth. Apparently, the town stretched further across the wheat fields than I thought.

“George should be back at any minute,” I tried to
soothe their concern. I didn’t have a car to get around, but Camille and Urte would be good enough chauffeurs for the week. It wasn’t like I had plans to go anywhere − aside from a meeting with the elders. I still didn’t know what the Light meeting had entailed, but I’d find out. For once, I would miss my father’s presence.

He laid a hand on my shoulder, but he didn’t look at me. “Don’t forget your doctor’s appointment,” he said. “We’ll be back for Thanksgiving.”

The approaching holiday was a reminder that it was already November. I had one month left.

“I know,” I said, wondering if I referred to their trip or my predicament.

“Have a good time.” Mindy winked. “And no girls over.”

Jessica. The idea
of having her over was merely a fantasy, but it felt like a possibility despite the fact that she hadn’t come over in weeks.

“I won’t,” I promised, searching for my father’s gaze. He
had already turned his back.

My stomach twisted with nerves.
Whatever had happened during the meeting was clearly bothering him, and I had less than an hour before I would find out for myself.

“Bye,” Noah said, rushing toward me.
Before I knew it, his arms wrapped around my torso in a hug, and then he was running to the car. They got in, and I lifted my hand to wave. Mindy waved back, and they left. They were gone, safe for now.

I stood there until George pulled into the driveway in a car I’d never seen before. I gawked at the rus
ted can that was his vehicle. When he got out, it rocked from side to side.

“What,” I began,
“is that?”

He shoved the keys into my palm before answering. “Yours,” he said. “It was Mindy’s sisters.”

I couldn’t speak.

George shrugged. “It’s why they wanted you to go,” he explained. “But we both know that couldn’t happen.” Not wi
th the meeting taking place. “I picked it up, so you’d have it while they were gone.”

I stared at the old metal key in my palm
. It was as weathered as the vehicle, yet it felt better than the Charger I’d been given. It wasn’t a death gift. It was freedom.

“I don’t understand,”
I said.

The car looked European by the size, but it had to be impossible considering the condition it was in. The antenna had been stolen, and the mirrors were cracked down the middle. I wasn’t even sure what the color of the car was supposed to be
. One door was blue while the others were stained brown with dirt. A pearl paint peeked through.

“They didn’t even stay to tell me,” I said.

“Because that doesn’t matter,” George said, opening the door. It clanked like it would fall off. “Family doesn’t help one another to be praised.”

Family. The word was som
ething I had never expected.

“I’ll have to thank them w
hen they get back,” I said.

George pointed at the driver’s seat. “Are you going to drive or not?” he asked. “It doesn’t go over forty, so you don’t have to worry about crashing at high speeds again.”

It was supposed to be a joke, but my thoughts prevented my laughter.

“Something
wrong, Eric?” George asked.

I got into the car before he could read the expression on my face. I couldn’
t tell him what I was thinking.

“Let’s go to that meeting
.” I turned over the engine as he sat down in the passenger seat. The car vibrated beneath us.