Secondhand Purses (24 page)

I hope you are enjoying the house. If you haven’t figured it out, it was bought with you in mind. I made sure that it was a home we could live together in, if you came to visit me; but most importantly that you could live in for as long as you wish. I hope someday that your children will be running up and down the stairs, and that you will be teaching your daughter to bake the recipes that I passed down to you from our family.

I will always love you, no matter how far away from each other we are; I will always be with you, in your heart and in our bakery.

Oh man. I had to take several deep breaths reading this letter. I finally felt like I’d been absolved of the crime of not being here sooner. She knew. She understood. She forgave.

Even though I was certain my distance hurt her, she forgave me without a second thought.

It seemed as if I could learn a lesson from her.

It was time to let the past stay in the past where it belonged.

chapter twenty nine

This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

It seemed like just a few days ago that I opened the door and saw Nick standing there, and then kneed his family jewels straight to the London Tower. I was miserably slaving in a supermarket grocery store, mass producing chocolate cupcake after chocolate cupcake, dreaming of the day when I would own my own bakery.

Now I stood here. I looked at the front of Nonna’s Baked Memories, the temporary sign hung perfectly in the window, with colors of rich chocolate brown and hot pink. I could see the display cabinet inside from the sidewalk, full of all of the pastries I worked on making yesterday afternoon and this morning. I saw the pink and white balloons outside, to draw people here to the grand opening.

It was real.

I looked up and down the street. It was only six thirty in the morning, so there was almost no activity. I felt a sting of disappointment. Not that there weren’t any customers, yet. That was to be expected. It was that one person in particular hadn’t made an appearance yet.

I wonder if he got the roses I sent. It was a risky move, sending something to a guy that was normally sent to women. But I needed to do something different. I needed to hopefully break through the pain I’d caused him.

I’d sent him a picture of the letter that Nonna had sent to me, and had added a note of my own.

Nick, it took a dead woman, my friend Ashley and your cousin, Eddie, to help me see that I had used the past as a way to hide from life. Everyone has told me their honest thoughts, that we should give this a shot. Correction, that I should give
you
a shot. Nick, I’m so sorry. I screwed up. I want to try this. Can we try this? Please, consider giving me a third chance. No more fear. The grand opening is tomorrow. If the answer is yes, please come to the bakery. If the answer is no, well, I understand.

Okay, so I’d already pointed out that I did not have a future as a writer. I knew that I had not written poetry that would make Yeats concerned for his legacy, you know, from the grave and all, but I hoped that Nick would get the point. I really hoped he would.

Another look up and down the street. Nothing. Sigh.

I looked at my phone. It was six forty now. Okay, time to get this day started.

I opened up the door, and tied it back so that it would stay open. It was a beautiful day, no reason not to keep the door open for fresh air. I walked around the bakery, straightening the photos on the wall, making sure everything was absolutely perfect.

“Hey, Alex, you ready for the big day?”

I whipped around to see Ashley, Karyn and Leah standing there. I would go to the grave without admitting this, but seeing the three of them with smiles on their faces this early in the morning, coming here to support me and the bakery; well, we’ll just say it made me feel warm and fuzzy.

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you three are here. I don’t think I can do this on my own.” I rattled that off so quickly that I wasn’t sure that they caught a word I said.

“Whoa, how many cups of coffee have we had this morning?” That was Leah, who was leaning over the trashcan trying to count the number of single serve coffee pods in the trash.

“Um, maybe four, possibly nine.”

Three sets of eye whipped up to look at me in shock.

“What? I lost count after three. I was here really early and I needed to get through the day so I just kept drinking and drinking and oh crap. I may have a drinking problem.”

The girls just busted up laughing at me.

Leah slapped me on the back of the shoulder.

“First step is admitting you have a problem.” There was an odd twist to her voice when she said that. Not quite sarcastic, more acidic. Strange. I looked up and saw that one of the pictures seemed to have gone askew. Oddly enough, it was the one of Nonna on her wedding day. This was the third time I’d straightened it.

“Stay.” I gave the picture a dog command as I set it correct before turning to my friends all of whom were giving me the ‘she’s gone and lost it’ look.

“Seriously guys, I’m fine. I’ve already straightened that picture twice already. I figured it needed to be told to stay in its place.”

“Alright, sweetie, whatever you say.” Karyn was talking to me with wide eyes, acting as if she spoke too harshly I would pull out a nine millimeter handgun and blow the place to kingdom come.

“Shove it, Karyn.” I pushed her a little bit.

“Annnd she’s back.” The three of them exchanged high fives, proud of them for bringing out my inner bitch.

Seriously, something was really wrong with these chicks.

“Hi, are you open?” I looked toward the door and saw a woman looking around the doorway.

Oh my gosh, a customer. I almost jumped up and down clapping like a little girl, but I couldn’t do that, I would have scared that poor woman away. Besides, it would be really lame of me to clap and say ‘Oooh, a
cust
omer!’ every time someone walked through the door.

“Yes, we sure are. C’mon in. Welcome to Nonna’s. You are my official first customer.” I grinned at her as I moved behind the counter.

“But not your last, Alex. You should see this.” Ashley was looking out the door with a big smile on her face. She turned to me.

“I think you’re going to be a little busy today.”

Oh, man, was I ever. For the next four hours, there was a line out the front door. I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough product made to sell everyone, but I had worked my butt off yesterday and today to make extra; so somehow I was still able to sell food to everyone in line. Finally, a little after eleven, the line of people slowed down so that I could sit down for a few moments.

“Holy crap, Alex. That was crazy intense.” Karyn dropped into a seat across from me and draped herself over the table.

“No kidding, Kar. I’m freaking exhausted.” I leaned back, tilting my head back until it hit the chair.

“Are you happy, though?” Ashley was leaning forward, rubbing her feet. She looked up at me.

“Almost. I’m a lot happy, but not all happy. My happy still hasn’t quite shown up yet.” I looked at the clock. Two hours until this work day was over. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spent the day at work without watching the clock the whole time. It was going by so fast, I really hadn’t even had the chance to enjoy it as much as I’d thought I would. But that was okay, because my display cases were almost empty, my cash register was almost full, and the reviews were so far really good.

People had hovered around the Nonna wall, laughing, joking and pointing out the memories that they had contributed to the bakery. They’d ooed and ahhed over the display case, breath fogging up the glass as the leaned forward for a closer look.

“Hi, Sweetie.”

Wait a minute. That sounded suspiciously like my mom. I looked down at my phone really quickly, to see if I’d accidentally butt dialed her or something. Nope, blank screen. Same as it was the last thirty times I checked it, hoping that Nick would have contacted me, texted me, Facebook messaged me. Something.

The exhaustion must be doing a number with my head if I was hearing voices.

“Uh, Alex, there’s a couple here to see you.”

I looked up. My eyes welled up a bit with tears. I hadn’t expected this, not with how I left it with mom that day. They came. They flew from Savannah to be here for my opening.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“You didn’t think we’d have let you open the bakery of your dreams and not be here to see it, did you?” My dad walked over and grabbed me in a huge hug. Oh man, it felt good to have my parents hug me. It had been way too long.

“How did you guys know about the opening?”

“I saw it on the Facebook.” My mom sounded so proud that she’s maneuvered ‘the Facebook’, I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was just called ‘Facebook’.

I walked them over to the counter, and watched my dad’s tongue nearly roll out of his face as he started drooling. Memo to self, clean the display glass. Thoroughly.

“What would you guys like?” I stood proudly behind the counter, feeling this was almost some sort of crazy out of body experience. I never planned on my parents being here. I had to face it, I’d been kind of bitchy to mom, so I didn’t deserve to have them here.

“Everything looks amazing, Alex. I wouldn’t be able to choose. Why don’t you pick for us?” Mom had taken years to stop calling me Vicki, I was secretly pleased she’d remembered to call me my chosen name in front of my friends.

I grabbed a plate and started piling it high with every pastry in the case. I sat it down in front of my parents, and gestured for my friends to come over.

“Mom, dad, these are my closest friends in the universe; Ashley, Karyn and Leah. Guys, these are my parents. Everyone, sit, eat and get to know each other.”

The conversation flowed easily between the six of us. For mom, dad and I, it was like the distance never happened. All of the uncertainty and hurt between us seemed to dissolve with each passing second.

This was so much more than I could have hoped for today. I didn’t think there was ever a chance my parents would be here. I hadn’t really given them the chance to be; so that was totally on me. But even as I enjoyed the warmth of sitting around the table with my girls and my folks, it wasn’t quite right.

He hadn’t come. I knew he got the flowers and my stupid note, but he didn’t come. I guess that set it all straight. I had my answer. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the one I’d been hoping for, and it put a damper on this awesome day.

Today was everything I had thought of, and yet, not everything I’d wanted. I wanted the stupid fairy tale romance that I had always made fun of. I wanted forever.

Damn it.

I wanted happily ever after, even though I didn’t believe in it. I really didn’t. I wanted to, though. I looked at mom and dad, still happy together even after being married a million years. They had it all.

Looking towards the door, I sighed. I walked back behind the counter and started cleaning up, while I mentally prepared for day two. I went through almost all of the loaves of bread within two hours, so I should make maybe double. The only thing I had extra of was cookies, so I would make less of those, and double up on the pastries. Those were the hit.

And the funny thing was, the traditional pastries sold as much as the amped classics, mostly because everyone was buying one of each to try them out, side by side.

It really was an almost perfect day. I was enjoying hearing the animated conversation between my parents and friends; with dad sharing embarrassing stories about me that I really should have been pissed at him for.

I had my back turned and was cleaning the top oven, standing on my tip toes to be able to reach the back when I felt something touch my shoulder. I whipped around, losing my footing as I fell backwards.

I braced myself for the impact of the floor but instead I felt two arms holding me.

I opened my eyes and saw dark chocolate eyes looking down at me, the same eyes that made up my fantasies.

He was there.

chapter thirty

“Nick.” I didn’t recognize my voice, it had a breathy quality that was
so
not me.

“Hey, Alex.” His voice was deep and gruff. He pulled me back on my feet, and I couldn’t find the strength to walk away from him. Not this time. Not anymore.

Instead of trying to put distance between us, I reached for his hand. I intertwined our fingers.

He lifted our hands up and looked at them, then back at me.

“Alex, are you sure. I need to know you are sure.”

I nodded quickly.

“Didn’t you get my flowers?”

“Uh, yeah. That was really sweet, but for the love of God, please don’t ever send me red roses at work ever again. It might take a year for me to live that one down.” He gave me a half smile, one that told me he wasn’t really upset about it.

“Sorry, not sorry. I had to get your attention.”

“You’ve got it. But Alex, I can’t do this half-assed relationship thing anymore. It’s all or nothing. I need to know. Are you in this for real? You said no fear, but did you mean it? Because I can’t continue to live in a sort of relationship where I’m walking on egg shells around you thinking that at any given point in time you could pull the sheet out from under me. I want your heart. I want your mind. I want your body. I want your smart ass personality. I want…”

He didn’t get a chance to finish that statement because I jumped at him, wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and pressed my open mouth against his as he was trying to talk.

I was really glad that he had great reflexes, because in hindsight, that could have turned out really badly, and incredibly painfully for me. But instead, he caught me. His arms held me tight to him, and he wrapped my ponytail around his fist as he pulled me closer to him.

We stood there, absorbed in one another, our lips having a silent conversation that worked out all of the issues that kept us apart.

I heard someone cough, then heard a giggle.

Oh shit.

I separated my lips from his and turned to look behind me.

Standing there, in my bakery, watching me having a heavy make out session with Nick, was nearly everyone in the village that I had met since moving here. Oh, and my parents. My mom and dad just saw me literally jump Nick. This was turning out to be a very interesting family reunion.

I gave a weak wave and turned my head into his neck.

“Let me down.” I whispered into his ears.

He slowly released his grip on me, looking into my eyes with hurt starting to cloud them and close him off from me. I realized he misunderstood me when he started to pull away from me again.

“Oh no you don’t.” I grabbed his hand, and intertwined our fingers once again.

“Are you sure?”

“Seriously, I don’t think we could exactly get away with
not
being a couple at this point, do you?” I pointed to our little audience, all of whom started cheering.

“I don’t know, I never really wanted to be famous. Maybe I should just bow out now.” He started to pull away.

I threw a right hook to his shoulder.

“Ow! Damn it, Alex.” Nick rubbed his shoulder where I’d made contact.

“Don’t think you’ll ever get away from me. Because you won’t. Never again. And if you try, I will kick your ass.” I was up in his face, my nose almost touching his because I was standing on my toes.

“Oh, you
think
you can.”

“I
know
I can.”

“Funny, I recall you making similar claims before, and yet, here I stand unharmed.”

“I will be kicking your ass until the end of time, so you might as well just relax and be at one with the fact that your woman is the superior athlete in all things kickboxing and Nick Ass Kicking.”

“End of time, huh?”

“Damn straight.”

With that, he pulled me forward with his hand on the back of my neck and gave me a bruising kiss, before moving his mouth to my ear.

“That won’t be long enough.”

The End.