Second Time Around (27 page)

He forced himself to smile. ‘I know that.’

Sharon had come upstairs for a nap when she heard a noise downstairs. She sprang up on the bed, her heart thumping in her chest, as she realised there was someone in the house.
She went to grab her phone and realised that she’d left it on the kitchen table downstairs. Shit! She looked around for something that she could use as a weapon but there wasn’t time.
The second stair creaked and Sharon froze. Someone was coming upstairs. Terrified, Sharon edged backwards until she was pressed against the headboard, her eyes on the door and her hands
protectively across her stomach. The steps got closer and then paused outside her door. Sharon watched in horror as the door handle turned and let out a bloodcurdling scream.

‘Sharon, will you stop? It’s only me.
Sharon!
’

She opened her eyes and saw that the man who’d grabbed her and whose eyes she had been clawing at was her husband. ‘Keith? You scared the living daylights out of me. What on earth
are you doing home?’ She collapsed back on to the pillows, cradling her tiny bump and hoping that Baby’s heart wasn’t racing as fast as hers.

‘Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to scare you. I did call your name when I opened the hall door. Are you okay?’ He plonked down next to her and kissed her, looking both guilty
and worried.

‘Yeah.’ Sharon smiled. For all of the terror associated with a diagnosis of hypertension, she was glad of it. She and Keith were closer now than they had been in years. He picked up
the bottle of water from the bedside locker and held it out to her.

‘Thanks.’ She took a drink. ‘Why are you home? Is it Mum?’ Her eyes widened. ‘Bobby?’

‘It’s about Bobby. Don’t worry, he’s fine,’ he added quickly when she clutched the covers. She watched as he stood up and crossed the room before turning and
resting against the windowsill.

‘I was talking to his teacher this morning.’

Sharon gulped but forced herself to stay calm. ‘Oh? Is everything okay?’

‘Come on, Shaz, you know very well it isn’t,’ Keith retorted, a flash of annoyance crossing his face. ‘Tell me exactly what she said to you about Bobby falling behind and
why he needs help.’

She gave a stiff shrug. ‘That’s about it.’

‘No, it is not. There’s the small matter of him not getting the help he needs unless you and I approve it. How could we possibly do that when you didn’t even tell
me?’

‘Are you surprised?’ she said, feeling defensive. ‘You know that I’ve been worried about him but you always insist that it’s my fault for spoiling him. And
you’re always criticising him and putting him down. If I told you what the teacher had said it would confirm that you were right and you would . . . ’ She
stopped.

He came over and knelt before her, his eyes demanding an answer. ‘I would what, Sharon?’

She looked at him and then squeezed her eyes closed, gulping back her tears. ‘Reject him.’

‘Jesus, Sharon, is that what you think?’

She opened her eyes to see him staring at her in horror, and she cried harder.

‘You think I’d turn my back on my own son?’

Anger bubbled up to replace the tears and Sharon wiped them away and glared at him. ‘You already have,’ she spat. ‘For the last year or so you’ve practically ignored
him.’ Oh, God, the genie was out of the bottle. ‘You’re spending more time with him now not because you want to but because of me and the baby. And, when this child is born, what
hope will Bobby have of ever getting your attention again?’ Distraught, she sank back onto the bed and waited for him to let loose. When he said nothing she looked up and was staggered when
she saw tears in his eyes. ‘Keith? Look, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. It’s just hormones.’

He slumped back onto the floor and buried his head in his hands. ‘No. No, it isn’t.’

‘You have been great recently, drawing the pictures with him and—’

Keith shook his head and put a finger to her lips. ‘Let me talk, please.’

She nodded silently, tears running down her cheeks.

‘The truth is, Bobby embarrasses me. I’m ashamed of him. I hate his tics and his grunts. I hate that he doesn’t look me in the eye and stiffens when I try to give him a
hug.’ He stared at some point above her head, defeat in his eyes. ‘I knew there was something wrong and couldn’t face up to it.’ Finally his bloodshot eyes found hers.
‘I talked to your sister this morning.’

Sharon sat up. ‘Jess? Why?’

‘They’re having a tough time with Bobby but didn’t want to say so because they don’t want to worry you.’ He stopped and took a drink from her water bottle before
continuing. ‘Noel told Cal about Bobby and the sort of things he did.’ Keith’s eyes met hers. ‘Cal said it sounded like it might be ASD. I didn’t even know what that
was but I’m guessing you do, don’t you, Sharon?’

She looked at him, scared, and nodded slowly. ‘Yes.’ Now that Keith was ready to listen she wasn’t sure that she could talk. Vocalising the situation would make it real and
they would not only have to face it, but do something about it, too.

‘Tell me. Please?’

She looked down at her hands in his, resting on her bump. ‘When I told his teacher my concerns, she mentioned autism. I went through the roof, but she assured me that, if she was right, he
was very low on the spectrum and they could help him.’

Keith wiped his face on his sleeve and took a deep breath. ‘So what happens next?’

‘I think we can organise an assessment through the school. Lana, his teacher, is lovely and very good with Bobby. She’ll tell us what we need to do.’

Keith squeezed her hand. ‘Then I’ll call and see if we can set up an appointment for tomorrow.’

‘Have you any other questions?’ The principal, Mr Quinn, looked from one to the other.

Sharon shook her head, overwhelmed. ‘I don’t think so. There’s just so much to take in.’

Bobby’s teacher gave her a sympathetic smile. ‘Don’t worry. You can call any time, Sharon, and I’ll do my best to answer your questions.’

‘How long will all this take?’ Keith asked, running an agitated hand through his hair.

‘A few months, perhaps more, I’m afraid,’ she replied. ‘I know it’s frustrating but it involves two departments and sometimes it’s hard to get them all on
board at the same time.’

‘Are we talking bureaucracy and red tape?’ Keith’s lip curled in disgust.

‘The departments are under resourced and short-staffed and, as ASD isn’t a life-threatening illness, it’s not at the top of their list of priorities,’ the principal
explained. ‘I know it’s frustrating, but please be assured that, pending a diagnosis, we will do our best for Bobby and, where and when possible, he will have access to our SEN and SNA
teams.’

‘All these acronyms make my head spin,’ Sharon said with a nervous laugh.

He smiled. ‘Sorry, the school lingo is full of them.’ He rummaged in his drawer and produced some booklets. ‘These will help. That’s the school’s special-needs
policy, and this is the department’s booklet, and there’s a leaflet on how you can help Bobby at home. You should have a chat with your GP and there are some good, local support groups
in the area.’

‘There are a lot of things that Bobby can get involved in that will help,’ the teacher added. ‘Art and music are great ways of calming ASD kids, and helping them to
concentrate. There is lots of help out there for him and for you. Don’t be afraid to ask.’

Sharon followed Keith outside, surprised she was able to walk given how shaky her legs were.

He pulled her tight to his side and she burst into tears. He wrapped his arms round her and held her as she cried, kissing the top of her head. ‘It will all be fine, sweetheart, I
promise.’

‘It’s a relief in a way,’ she said, balling the tissues in her hands as they drove home and trying to look on the bright side. ‘Bobby’s not badly
behaved at all. He’s not responsible for his behaviour, and now we’ve set the wheels in motion to help him.’

Keith patted her knee. ‘We have.’

‘We need to find out what triggers the tantrums or at least learn to spot the signs when he’s about to throw one so that we can head him off at the pass,’ she continued.

‘It would be great if we could,’ he agreed. ‘I had no idea that intolerance to noise and lights were symptoms of autism. So much makes sense now.’

Sharon nodded. ‘I always thought it odd when he didn’t laugh at jokes. I thought he had no sense of humour. Now I realise that he just didn’t get the joke. Lord only knows what
he makes of all the slagging in my family. No wonder he’s wary of my mother. One of her favourite sayings when she’s cross is “I’ll murder you!” ’

Keith groaned. ‘And he’d think that she meant it. We’re not the only ones who need to be educated.’

‘I know.’ Sharon had been worrying about how they were going to ensure that her mother didn’t set Bobby off. ‘Hopefully, knowing that Bobby can’t help being the way
he is will make Mum more understanding.’

‘Do you want to go straight there and break the news?’ Keith asked as they sat at the traffic lights.

‘I suppose so,’ Sharon said, reluctantly. The lights changed and Keith turned right towards Suzie’s house. ‘I hate the thought of him being labelled, Keith.’

He nodded. ‘I know, but he’ll be able to cope with life better once he gets the help he needs. And so what if he’s not going to be a college professor?’

‘I’m much more concerned about his social skills,’ Sharon said. ‘I don’t want him to be Billy No Mates.’

‘But he’s content in his own company. There’s nothing wrong with that. You know, some of the world’s most successful people are just like him.’

Sharon knew that Keith was trying to cheer her up, but she couldn’t help but catapult them fifteen, twenty, thirty years from now. Would Bobby be independent or still reliant on them and,
if the latter, what would happen to him when they died? Shivering, Sharon dismissed the ridiculous thought. She had enough things to deal with now without worrying about the future. ‘Should
we tell people?’

He scowled. ‘Other than the family, I don’t see why. It’s nobody’s business.’

‘Then people will still think that he’s just badly behaved and disobedient,’ Sharon said, wondering if the reality was that Keith was still ashamed of his son.

‘Who cares what strangers think? We know the truth and hopefully, as we get to understand ASD better, we’ll be able to help Bobby to control his behaviour.’ He sighed. ‘I
can see us going to an awful lot of meetings and classes. Still, at least we can sort it out before Baby comes along.’

‘Are you kidding?’ Sharon stared at him. Had he not heard a word that the teachers had said? There was no easy or speedy solution to Bobby’s problems. ‘You do know
there’s no cure for ASD, don’t you?’

‘Of course I do,’ he snapped. ‘But he can change and learn to live a normal life within his own limitations. Whatever schools or doctors say or do, we’ll be his main
teachers, Shaz. We’re the ones who’ll make or break him.’

That was a scary thought but he was right. Sharon prayed that she was carrying a daughter. If she had another son she knew that they would always be comparing the two. She slipped her hand over
Keith’s on the wheel. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Me too.’ He shot her a guilty smile. ‘We’re both upset. It’s a lot to take on board.’

‘We’ll do whatever it takes to help him and give him a good quality of life, right?’

‘We will.’ Keith drew up outside Suzie’s house. ‘Ready?’

Sharon shook her head, suddenly nervous. ‘Maybe we should wait.’

He looked at her. ‘Why?’

‘I don’t know but—’

‘Cooee! What are you two doing here?’

Sharon turned her head to see her mother on the doorstep, hands on her hips.

Keith shrugged. ‘That settles that, then. Come on.’

‘Hi, Mum.’ Sharon hugged her mother.

‘You look better, love, but what are you both doing here at this hour?’ Suzie frowned at Keith. ‘Is there something wrong? Is it Baby?’

‘Baby is fine, and so is Sharon. ‘Is Noel in?’

‘He’s in the kitchen, why?’

Sharon glanced at Keith and then back at her mum.

‘We just wanted a word with you both.’

‘Autism.’ Sharon’s voice was barely a croak. Tears threatened but she swallowed them back. ‘It’s not Bobby’s fault that he’s
disruptive and disobedient, Mum.’

‘Are you saying the boy is simple?’ Suzie asked.

Sharon cringed and Noel glared at his mother.

Suzie glared back. ‘What? All I’m saying is, that’s shite. I don’t believe it for a minute. He may be odd and bloody hard work but that child is clever.’

Laughing and crying, Sharon embraced her. ‘Oh, Mum, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about him.’

‘Well, I mean it. That’s why I get so angry with the boy. I know he isn’t stupid and he should know better.’

‘It’s not really about his intelligence,’ she said. Tired, Sharon settled back and looked to her husband to explain.

‘There’s a whole spectrum of autistic behaviour from very mild to severe,’ Keith explained. ‘As I said, there’s no diagnosis yet but Bobby ticks most of the boxes.
For example the way he wants to take the exact same route to school every day. How he rarely looks at you when he’s talking to you. How little he talks, for that matter. How he wants to wear
the same pyjamas every night and prefers to draw pictures using just one colour.’

‘But he’s so clever,’ Suzie insisted.

‘No doubt about that,’ Noel agreed. ‘You wouldn’t believe how quickly he picks things up on the Xbox.’

‘He remembers everything too,’ Sharon said, beginning to feel more hopeful. ‘It’s like he absorbs anything he reads or watches on TV and, once it’s in his head, it
stays there.’

‘Like the name of every bloody train on
Thomas the effin’ Tank Engine
.’ Suzie rolled her eyes.

‘He’ll sail through exams,’ Noel said, sounding almost envious.

Sharon had to laugh. She was feeling better now that everything was out in the open. Between his family and school, Bobby would get the support that he needed. She knew that there were schools
specifically for children with special needs and she intended to find out more about them, but she liked the idea of Bobby growing up with ‘normal’ kids. One day he’d have to take
his place in the world, and the sooner he adapted to it the better. She was terrified for him and what lay ahead but that wasn’t going to help her, the new baby or Bobby. She needed to rest
as much as possible so that she had the time and energy to cope with all of this, and, with that in mind, she looked over at her husband, eyebrows raised, and he immediately nodded.