Second Thyme Around (21 page)
‘This little girl is very good too. And much more cheerful company for Perdita. She’s had to move in, you know, because although my great-nephew’s been staying, he can’t be here all the time, and so far everyone’s been too nervous to stay in the house with only me for protection. Utter rubbish, but what can one do?’
‘Actually, Perdita, now I’ve seen that Kitty’s right as ninepence, I need to have a word with you.’ Dr Edwards was making eloquent remarks with his eyebrows which told Perdita he wanted to talk about Kitty.
‘Of course. Shall we go into the study?’
‘Right, m’dear. How are you? Not too exhausted yet?’ he asked when Perdita had closed the door.
‘Oh no, why should I be?’
‘Because you’ve got a business to run as well as a house with an invalid. It takes energy.’
‘Well, yes, but I’m sure now we’ve settled into a routine, things will be less hectic.’
‘Kitty told me you’ve been working quite late in the evenings.’
‘I have to a bit, because Kitty likes me to watch
Countdown
and stuff with her in the afternoon, while the carer has a couple of hours off.’
Countdown
and stuff with her in the afternoon, while the carer has a couple of hours off.’
‘I know you want to look after her, and do the best for her, but you need to look after yourself as well. She’ll understand if you’re too busy to be with her in the afternoon.’
‘I suppose so. But I don’t like to leave her alone in the house, and it’s not fair for the carer to be on call constantly. Eileen’s only young. She needs to get out to the shops and things, if there were any.’
‘We might have to think about getting a rota of people to sit with her in the afternoons. You need some time to yourself, as much as the carer does.’
‘I’ll talk to Kitty about it. She certainly has plenty of friends, it’s just, how many of them could she stand to have with her for so long? It’d be tiring for them too. Kitty and I don’t have to make polite conversation all the time.’
‘Mmm. What you need is a mature student, who could study in another room, in here, perhaps, but be within easy earshot. I’ll ask around. My wife may know someone.’
‘That would be good. I can never get everything done in the morning, what with the deliveries and stuff, and I get careless at night, when I’m tired.’
The doctor nodded. ‘And have you done anything about getting enduring power of attorney?’
Dr Edwards had mentioned this before, but Perdita hadn’t been able to bring herself to ask Kitty if she’d mind letting her write cheques for her. ‘No.’
‘Then I’ll talk to her about it. It’s probably a lot easier for me. I don’t want to be depressing when Kitty’s getting on so well, but she could have another stroke at any time. If she did, you could need funding for fully trained nurses day and night, if you still couldn’t bring yourself to let her go into a home. You will need to be able to write cheques.’ He frowned at her. ‘You ought to have some idea of how much money she’s got, too. You don’t want to run up huge bills there isn’t the money to settle them.’
‘Well, no. I just hate intruding on her privacy.’
‘Better that than get into a financial muddle.’
‘I suppose so, but it seems such a dreadful intrusion.’
The doctor put a hand on her shoulder, gave it a little shake, and then left.
A routine was soon established. Various friends of Kitty’s, and the granddaughter of one of them, doing A levels, arranged between them when they could be either at Kitty’s side, or within easy earshot, so Perdita could work in the afternoons. When Roger was with them, he took on the early evenings so she could work later. If Kitty was asleep by the time she got back, he would wait up for her in the kitchen and chat.
Although she knew she should be grateful, she really preferred it when he was away, so she could rush home early and have some time alone with Kitty. Now, to Perdita’s secret relief, Roger had a contract somewhere the other side of the country, leaving Perdita to establish a relationship with the carers.
They worked for a week, or at most, a fortnight at a stretch to give everyone a break. After a couple of less-than-successful carers, who wanted to see Kitty again even less than she wanted to see them, a group of three regulars established a rota which suited everyone.
There was Eileen, very young, but experienced, who got on well with Perdita. She and Perdita shared the cooking, which they were both very bad at, and played three-handed bridge with Kitty, at which they were worse.
There was Thomas, an ex-Merchant Navy steward, whose first appearance had Kitty and Perdita in a froth of indignation. Neither of them liked the idea of Kitty being nursed by a man, Kitty because she was old-fashioned, and Perdita because she was shy. Fortuitously, Kitty
needed the bathroom quite urgently while Eileen was collecting her clean washing from the tumble drier and Perdita was making tea. Thomas, possibly aware of Kitty’s uncertainty, wheeled her to the lavatory before she could protest. His masculine strength made the transfer from chair to loo much easier than usual, and Kitty forgot about nursing being ‘women’s work’ and very quickly learnt to value him.
needed the bathroom quite urgently while Eileen was collecting her clean washing from the tumble drier and Perdita was making tea. Thomas, possibly aware of Kitty’s uncertainty, wheeled her to the lavatory before she could protest. His masculine strength made the transfer from chair to loo much easier than usual, and Kitty forgot about nursing being ‘women’s work’ and very quickly learnt to value him.
The last in the trio was Beverley. Beverley had never married, but had nursed first her mother, and then her sister. She had a rather coy manner, which irritated Kitty, but she was so good-natured that it was impossible not to love her.
‘Perfectly possible if she stayed longer than a week,’ retorted Kitty, when Perdita said this, ‘but she does like gardening. She’s been taking cuttings for me, really quite efficiently.’
Only Thomas was happy to sleep alone in the house with Kitty, but by this time Perdita felt it was hardly worth going back home.
She mentioned this to Kitty while they had a drink together. Perdita was tired, and trying not to show it. Kitty was observing her keenly, but not making any comment. Thomas was cooking a vegetable and chicken breast stir-fry and liked to have the kitchen to himself.
‘I could sleep at home tonight,’ said Perdita, feeling she could sleep on a rail right now, if given the chance. ‘But I don’t think I’ll bother. I always leave something I really want over here. I might as well just stay put for the time being.’
‘That’s what I said to Lucas.’
‘Lucas?’ Perdita hadn’t seen him for ages now William was doing all the deliveries.
‘I didn’t mention it because we hardly have a moment alone, but he does visit me in the afternoons, quite often.’
‘Oh – well, that’s nice of him.’
‘It is. Which is why it seems a good idea for him to sleep in your house.’
‘What!’ Perdita was outraged.
‘Don’t get all worked up, darling. His flat is being treated for woodworm.’
‘But how dare he suggest such a thing?’
‘He didn’t. It was my idea. But he said he couldn’t possibly sleep in your house without your permission.’
Partially mollified, Perdita said, ‘Oh.’
Kitty frowned. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’
Perdita did mind, very much, but it was hard to say why. But she didn’t want to let on to Kitty, or Kitty would feel guilty for making the offer. Kitty so rarely interfered in Perdita’s life in a negative way, but she’d done it this time. ‘I don’t know, really …’
‘Perhaps he’ll pop round one evening and talk to you about it.’
‘I doubt it, he’s working in the evening, remember.’
‘Not every evening. Janey does a night on her own now, and then he always has Monday off.’
‘Janey never said anything about it.’ Perdita was glad to get off the subject of Lucas and on to someone she had no ambivalence about.
‘When did you last see Janey?’ demanded Kitty. ‘Since I’ve been a cripple what little social life you had has stopped completely. You must get out more. Ring her up and arrange to go to the pub, or something. You never get to mix with people your own age, now Roger’s not here so much.’
‘Roger is a lot older than me. At least thirty-five. Anyway, he’s coming back in a day or two, isn’t he?’
‘Is he? Anyway, I still think you should get out. I’m quite happy reading, especially if I’ve had to make polite conversation all afternoon.’
‘Poor Kitty, it must be a dreadful strain, having to be sociable.’ Perdita certainly found Roger’s attentive conversation quite tiring.
‘Oh, it’s not too bad. If I get fed up I just pretend to fall asleep until whoever it is tiptoes out of the room.’
‘Do you do that with Lucas?’
‘Oh, no. He doesn’t bore me, although he reads to me, and that sometimes really does send me off. He has turned out to be a nice man, you know.’
‘So nice, in fact, that you’ve offered him my house.’ She smiled to disguise the snap in her tone.
‘Only for a short time. And it’s not as if you’re in it. I wouldn’t want him sleeping there if it wasn’t empty.’
‘There’d hardly be room for two of us,’ said Perdita. ‘Only one bedroom, with only one bed.’
Kitty regarded Perdita over her glasses. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have offered a house that’s not mine to offer.’ I would have invited him to stay here, only I feel the carers and Miriam have enough to do without having Lucas to look after. Which is why I rather rashly offered him the use of your house. I shouldn’t have, of course. It’s not mine to offer.’
Perdita smiled tightly, feeling petty for minding about Lucas when he was so marvellous with Kitty.
The garden seemed to be the only place she could be on her own these days, and she made the excuse of picking some purple-sprouting broccoli to get away. On the way to the vegetable patch, which was still full of plants Kitty had grown, she worked out why she didn’t want Lucas in her house. There were two reasons really. One was that it represented a bolt hole from the carers and Roger, and the stream of visitors, but mainly it was because that house, cottage really, represented her life post-Lucas. When he had left her she was nothing but a lachrymose heap of despair. Now, the only thing she lacked was a nice cosy boyfriend to take her out for a drink and make love to her on Saturday nights.
Roger flitted into her thoughts. He would probably take on this role like a shot, he’d made that clear with his
intimate little chats. She might be out of practice, but she could still read the signs and could tell he was interested in her. But she found the prospect unappealing. There was nothing wrong with Roger, exactly, he was just rather dull, and not at all sexy.
intimate little chats. She might be out of practice, but she could still read the signs and could tell he was interested in her. But she found the prospect unappealing. There was nothing wrong with Roger, exactly, he was just rather dull, and not at all sexy.
Lucas was different altogether, and what she didn’t want was Lucas sleeping, living, in the space where she had wept so much she had to keep drinking glasses of water to stop herself dehydrating. She didn’t want him waking in her bed, hearing her blackbird singing in the tree outside. She didn’t want him padding in his bare feet to her bathroom, leaving the seat up on the loo, or putting smears of toothpaste in her washbasin, where she left them herself.
Picking away she asked herself why she was reacting like this to the thought of Lucas sleeping in her house without her, when the thought of him sleeping there
with
her didn’t have the same effect at all.
with
her didn’t have the same effect at all.
‘But that’s lust,’ she said, apologising to the cluster of aphids she squashed as she picked. ‘It’s not the same. It’s perfectly all right wanting Lucas for his body, providing he never knows about it, of course. And when Kitty was in hospital and I felt lonely, it was perfectly understandable to want a man to cuddle. I just chose Lucas because there aren’t any other men in the area. And as I didn’t cuddle him, only hugged him that time he brought me home after Christmas, and didn’t actually let him rape me in the ladies’ powder room at Grantly House, I must have pretty much got Lucas out of my system. But I’m still not having him in my bedroom. Not without me there.’
When she got back to the kitchen with her colander, she was greeted with the news that while she’d been communing with the purple-sprouting broccoli, Lucas had rung to say he’d be over to see her that evening, at about eight.
‘He probably wants to talk about living in your house,’
said Kitty, regarding Perdita as if trying to read her mind.
said Kitty, regarding Perdita as if trying to read her mind.
Perdita smiled blandly. She didn’t want to discuss her feelings for Lucas just now.
‘Take her for a drink, Lucas!’ demanded Kitty, the moment he arrived. ‘She never goes out. She’ll go green and fall over if she doesn’t see daylight occasionally.’
‘I get plenty of daylight, Kitty,’ said Perdita, unusually annoyed with her. ‘I’m not one of those poor plants you put in the garage and forget about all winter.’
Lucas eyed Perdita. ‘I think we should go out. We can’t have a good row here.’
Not wanting to be seen to agree with him, especially when she didn’t want Kitty to realise that a row was in the air, she almost smiled. ‘Let’s go somewhere far away. I don’t want to be seen with you in public.’
‘Perdita!’ Kitty was horrified at this apparent lapse of manners.
‘You know what people are like round here. If we’re seen together their imaginations will run riot. We’ll never hear the last of it.’
‘She’s right, you know, Kitty. Then it might get out that we’d once been married.’
‘Which would be so bad for Lucas’s reputation,’ Perdita finished silkily. ‘I’ll go and brush my hair and put on some lippy.’
As she left the room she heard Kitty muttering about slang and young people. It made Perdita feel adolescent and rebellious.
‘I expect you know why I want to talk to you,’ said Lucas, having given Perdita half a pint of cider.
‘You want to move into my house,’ she said, trying to sound noncommittal, but not managing it. ‘Kitty told me.’
‘I’m already moving into your kitchen—’
‘And I was fine about that, was I?’
‘You know you kicked up like hell about it. And you obviously feel the same about me using the rest of your space.’
‘I’m not thrilled by the idea, no.’
Lucas narrowed his gaze over his pint of Old Snout. ‘Why not? Kitty tells me you’re not living there yourself.’
‘Yes I am. I’m just not sleeping there. I still use the house for my pea plants and things. I’m in there most days.’
‘But not at night? My presence wouldn’t really make any difference to you.’
‘That’s not really the point. I don’t like the idea of my bolt hole being occupied. Kitty’s house is full of people, and I’m used to living on my own. It’s nothing personal.’ Pleased to have thought of a reason which he wouldn’t connect with himself, Perdita took a gulp of cider which was a little too home-spun and vinegary for her liking.
‘Yes, it is. If it was Janey, or her bloke, the one that works for you, who needed somewhere to live, you’d say yes like a shot. It’s me you don’t want there.’
Perdita contemplated continuing with the lie but decided not to. Lucas was too good at seeing through her. ‘Well, can you blame me?’
‘Tell me, then I’ll tell you if I blame you or not.’
Perdita took a deep breath. ‘You don’t need reminding of the circumstances we parted in, and I’m sure you’re aware of how completely and utterly devastated I was.’ He nodded. ‘Well, that house represents my recovery. By the time I was in it, I was better, I’d got up off the floor, I’d made a new life for myself, I’d bought somewhere to live and I was OK. If you lived there, to me it would be like winning a prize and having to give the cup to my opponent.’
He considered this for some time. Perdita tried another sip of her drink.
‘That’s OK, then,’ said Lucas. ‘I’ll find somewhere else
to stay. Do you want to finish that, or would you prefer something else?’
to stay. Do you want to finish that, or would you prefer something else?’
Perversely, because Lucas wouldn’t argue with her, she had to argue with herself. ‘Where else would you go? There’s not room at Kitty’s with me, the carer and Roger there most of the time. She’s got so much furniture, not many of the rooms are habitable.’
‘Roger? Oh, the real long-lost nephew? I met him a couple of times at the hospital. Not exactly a ball of fire, is he? What’s he hanging around for?’
‘He’s working in the area and Kitty asked him to stay. He’s not “hanging around”.’
‘I expect he’s after Kitty’s money.’
‘You don’t really think so, do you? Anyway, why shouldn’t he be? He’s Kitty’s only remaining blood relative.’
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