Second Sight (38 page)
This has been the basis for the most significant and enduring relationships in my life. Within the first few minutes of meeting someone I am certain if we're going to be close friends. The feeling that I've known them at some other time or place, that outs is a reunion rather than an introduction is always there. At the beginning, there's a gut-level connectedness and ease between us not present with other acquaintances or friends.
Though I've learned to rely on my instincts about this, at times it's hard for others to understand. Particularly about guys I date. “He's such a nice person, why don't you give him a chance?” I've heard from well-meaning family members and friends. Logically, I knew they were right and, for a period, doubted myself. After all, I very much wanted to be in a relationship. Maybe I was somehow sabotaging my dearest wish. So I tested it out, spent time with men who had extremely fine qualities but with whom I didn't feel that instant connection. Without fail, it never worked out. Every major relationship I've ever had with a man has started with a feeling of déjàvu.
I'm not suggesting that you don't pursue relationships that interest you, or that they won't be successful if the déjàvu component isn't there. When you have a strong positive feeling, honor it. If you have a neutral feeling, you may want to explore. But also take notice if you experience déjàvu. This is different from electric chemistry, a strong physical attraction, or even an instant rapport. Although those aspects may be present, déjàvu is the sense that you've actually known this person before. You can't force it or pretend it's there—the experience stands on its own. Observe for yourself how this type of relationship differs from others. Use déjàvu as a cue that something very special is going on, and investigate the psychic aspects of your bond.
A patient of mine, Carol, an interior designer, knew that she was going to marry her husband the first day they met. It had been three years since a harrowing divorce ending an unhappy first marriage. Carol was still recovering, and definitely wasn't looking to get involved with anyone new. Her life was finally settled again, and she liked it that way. She figured that when the time was right, she would get into a relationship. But there was no rush.
Then, at a friend's party, she spotted Tom. Something about the way he smiled, the glint of his sleek, silver hair, his voice, and the sinewy shape of his hands was so familiar that she was certain she had known him before. After they talked, it was obvious their paths had never crossed, but he had the same feelings. Following their first lunch date, they became inseparable.
“It's remarkable, the way we related,” Carol told me. “From the first moment we were comfortable with each other. Little things—his smell, touch, even the way he said my name immediately seemed second nature to me. At times, we even instinctively know each other's habits and tastes. Like the other day, Tom sent me lilacs when he had no idea how much I loved them. Or when I played him an obscure Billie Holiday song last week and found out he had the same recording. I can be myself around him. More so than with any man I've gone out with. It's so wonderful that it's hard to get used to!”
A few weeks after meeting Tom, Carol announced to me that they were getting married. I felt torn. On the one hand, I thought it probably would have been safer for them to wait a while and get to know each other better. Yet I also respected that Carol was highly intuitive and trusted her feelings about Tom. She wasn't an impulsive person. Besides, everything she said made me believe this experience was a déjàvu. She and Tom had an intimacy from the start, the kind that usually develops in couples after they've been together for many years. Both Tom and Carol agreed that there was an inevitability about their meeting, a predestined quality, as if they'd just been waiting for this moment all their lives.
Three months later they were married. Over the years, their romance has only grown, their initial closeness and understanding continuing to carry them through the inevitable ups and downs of a marriage. Soon they will celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary.
Relationships that begin with déjàvu may happen more quickly than others. But even those that take off like a whirlwind tend to retain a certain groundedness and substance. There's an organic, unpressured rhythm to the way they unfold, seemingly possessing a life of their own. These are the graced relationships, feeling more like a reunion than a union. They still require commitment and effort, but the couples I know who have “recognized” each other in this way have all remained together.
This is not to say that a déjàvu experience with someone means you're going to marry them. It could be that you'll enter into a short-term relationship that especially helps you to grow or begin a long-lasting trusted friendship. Whatever the outcome, déjàvu is a sign that something extraordinary is occurring and to take heed.
Not all déjàvu experiences are positive. You may run into a person you're sure you've known before and every cell in your body screams out, “Stay away!” which is something definitely worth listening to! Different from other psychic impressions, there's a past history here that resonates. You may not be able to pinpoint the exact nature of your connection, but you must stand firm and respect your feelings.
This happened to a friend of mine, an entertainment attorney who had no previous experience with déjàvu. Expert at his job, he's a sweet person, the type who gets along with everyone. At a business meeting, however, he spotted another attorney from behind. He had never met the man, but instantly loathed him. “I can't explain it,” he told me. “It was as if I knew everything about that guy before I even saw his face. Like somehow we'd been involved with each other's dealings before, even though we hadn't. One thing I was sure of: He's not to be trusted.” On the basis of his déjàvu, he stayed clear of this man, not wanting even the slightest contact. About six months later, he was amazed to see this same lawyer's picture plastered on the front page of the business section of the
Los Angeles Times.
Notorious now, he had apparently masterminded some financial scandal in which he'd embezzled millions of dollars in corporate funds.
Whether your reaction to a déjàvu experience is positive or negative, the possibility of having one is inherent in partnerships of all kinds, particularly the more intimate ones. It can occur in your business, friendships, and family, often leading to pivotal outcomes that affect the direction of your life.
Finding a spiritual teacher can also feel fated, much like finding a mate. One of my strongest feelings of déjàvu happened when I first met the man who was to become my teacher. The moment I laid eyes on him I was sure he was the one. Suddenly I understood what I'd been searching for so long: There my teacher sat, right in front of me. This whole scene was so dazzlingly familiar it felt we'd been together a thousand times before. More than just an old friend, I instinctively knew him to be my spiritual guide, the person who ultimately understood me best of all. On that day, a journey began that has continued for the last ten years.
There are situations in life that are glitches in time, when the rules bend and the mystery takes hold, enchanted moments that sparkle with ethereal light. These are déjàvu. They can take place anywhere, at any time, and with anyone. You're traveling for the very first time in a foreign country and come upon a winding cobblestone street in a village. Odd as it may seem, you instantly feel as if you've lived there before. Or perhaps you're in a restaurant and sense an inexplicable kinship with a woman sitting in the back corner booth. Don't let these possibilities pass you by. Take notice, rely on your instincts, and investigate. There's no way of predicting where one of them might lead or what it will teach you. Identifying the psychic is only the first step. Summoning the courage to take a chance and act on it, to have faith in what is not yet visible, will make the experience your own.
CLAIRVOYANCE
On the evening of April 29, 1992, while taking a shower, I had a vision of a horrifying scene. I was standing in the center of a bustling city. Overhead, a giant, seventy-foot loaded revolver was aimed down toward the ground. All at once, city sounds were blotted out by a thunderous blast. The gun fired a deadly spray of bullets, ricocheting off nearby office buildings into the crowd. There was chaos—the sound of glass shattering, people screaming, the stench of smoke. A few bystanders lay wounded, drenched in blood on the sidewalk. I shuddered from the violent force of the explosion, but survived unharmed.
My first inclination was to take this vision personally. What was I so angry about that might have triggered such a destructive sight? I couldn't come up with anything. No arguments with friends or family. No conflicts at work. No excessive inner turmoil. This was a cue to me that what I'd seen wasn't related to my own state of mind but was psychic—and I had no idea what it meant. Though riveted by the vision's clarity, all I could do was wait and find out. As I dried myself, I was aware that it wasn't unusual for me to see such vivid imagery in the shower. It's often there like magic the moment I step in, as if I'm entering a psychic telephone booth. I have experienced many of my most compelling premonitions in the shower. Free of tension and unpressured, with hot water drenching my body, all kinds of pictures (not exclusively psychic) pop up spontaneously and then disappear. But this one was particularly graphic and stuck in my mind.
Minutes later, when I flipped on the TV to watch the six o'clock news, I understood. The Rodney King verdicts had been announced that afternoon: In south central Los Angeles, hundreds of fires blazed as angry demonstrators torched buildings, looted local stores, and assaulted passersby. Heavy gunfire flared, and a thick layer of brown smoke hovered above the skyline.
My eyes glued to the newscast, I was appalled by the apocalyptic turn the city had taken. Nonetheless, the violent nature of my vision had focused me, put me on alert. I was better prepared to deal with the tumult, wasn't caught off guard as I might have been. Although I hadn't identified my vision as explicitly clairvoyant (it's sometimes difficult for me to tell if a psychic impression is current or will take time to materialize), it had lessened the initial shock, made it easier to stay centered despite the madness that was gripping Los Angeles.
Clairvoyance means “clear seeing.” Though often used as a synonym for psychic, there's a distinction. Clairvoyance is not seeing into the future, but hones in on events taking place in the present, whether right next door or all the way across the globe. It can keep you in touch with the pulse of your community. The more highly charged a situation, the clearer it is for you to perceive psychically. This is why social and political unrest can serve as a trigger for clairvoyance. The riots are a perfect example. Such upheaval on so grand a scale makes for an especially loud and strong psychic signal analogous to cranking up the volume full blast on a radio. While I luxuriated in the shower, at my most relaxed and receptive, the riots escalated. I was primed to pick them up. The more intense the emotional and physical impact of any incident, the more it gets amplified on a psychic level, like a hot news flash.
The potential to be clairvoyant is in all of us—it's not limited to professional psychics or enlightened spiritual masters. Although often left dormant, clairvoyance is a human skill that, with the proper direction, will rise to the surface. In certain instances, as with my experience of the riots, it may occur spontaneously. But you can train yourself to be clairvoyant, make it a discipline.
The first step is to become conscious of your feelings. Begin to live in your entire body, not just your mind. So many of us walk around obsessing maniacally, numb from the neck down. It's no wonder that psychic insights can seem alien. But if you really define in a fresh way what each emotion feels like—anger, fear, sadness, joy—you'll be much more ready to notice precisely how your body responds. Know your feelings inside out in their most exaggerated form so if they're more subtle to pick up clairvoyantly you won't miss them. Your body acts as a psychic receiver, often first registering impressions deep within its very core.
To sense these changes, you will need to still your mind. When it's jammed with thoughts, the psychic can be blocked out. Try to plan at least ten minutes each day to sit calmly uninterrupted. Practicing silence, whether through meditation, yoga, contemplative walks by the ocean, or even a soak in a warm bath, frees up space. This quiet time, while you aren't doing anything but just “being,” conditions your mind to open to a myriad of impressions, only some of them psychic.
The key to cultivating clairvoyance is to work at it sincerely. Even if you have never had a single psychic experience, you can put yourself into training. There's a simple exercise I teach my patients—I use it myself whenever I tune in to someone clairvoyantly—and you may want to try it, too.
First, make sure you're physically comfortable and free from interruptions. Turn off the phone. Shut the door. Be certain that no one else will walk in and break your concentration. Next, take a few full, deep breaths, relax your body, set aside your concerns of the day, and drift into a meditative state. There is no rush. Spend as long as you like to settle in.
Now, choose a friend you're particularly close to and begin to focus on her first name passively. Pick someone who is easily reachable, who you know will be candid later when you ask for feedback on your reading. Hold this name gently in your mind. Try to think of nothing else. Visualize only her. In the beginning, it's helpful to pose definite questions—start with the general and gradually work your way to the specific. For instance, you can simply ask yourself how she is feeling today. Open to the fullness of each sensation that arises. Don't force anything or resort to logic. Clairvoyant impressions will come. Perhaps an invigorating wave of energy will sweep over you. Or you may feel incredibly irritable out of the blue. Scan every inch of your body for even the slightest changes. Do you have a stomachache? Nausea? Are you depressed? Have your shoulder muscles tightened into a painful knot? Don't hold on to any feelings for too long. Allow them to flow organically. Sense these variations within every cell.
