Second Look (A New Beginning Book 3) (6 page)

He looked at Jennifer and then to the little girl and back again and his stomach flipped. He motioned to the little girl with his thumb. “Who…?”

“This is Amber.” Jennifer paused for a second. “Your daughter.”

He stared at her for several seconds, trying to process what he just heard. She must be mistaken. He looked into the little girl’s face.

“What are you talking about? That’s not possible.”

“Amber is 18 months old, Adam.”

Jennifer’s voice was quiet and his heart was beating so fast he could barely hear her over the roaring in his ears. He was stunned into silence but his brain was asking all of the questions his voice was refusing to form.

As if reading his mind, she said, “Winter break. The bar.”

In the back of his mind, he thought about their night together. That was a little over two years ago. But there was no way….was there? He tried to do the math in his head.

If the little girl was 18 months old and they’d been together a little over two years ago…Oh.

Oh shit.

He looked at the little girl. Amber. She didn’t have much hair, just a little blonde on the top, and she had familiar brown eyes that stared right back at him.

He reached out to Amber before he realized what he was doing and then pulled his hand back.

But if this was his daughter, why was he just finding out about her? Shock turned to anger. How could she have kept this from him?

What. The. Fuck.

He looked back up at Jennifer, fire in his eyes. “You’re just now coming to me?”

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders and looked down and her feet for a few seconds before looking back up.

“You left, Adam. It was a mistake to you, remember? I didn’t think you’d want to be a part of our life.”

“Well you certainly didn’t give me a chance, did you?”

Adam lowered his head and ran his hands through his hair while he waited for her to respond.

“No, I didn’t,” she admitted.

“That’s a common theme with you, isn’t it? Not giving people a chance?”

He couldn’t help but bring up when she dumped him originally. He begged her not to break up with him. She broke his fucking heart. Now this.

“So you didn’t think I deserved to know. What’s changed? You’re coming to me now because…?” He couldn’t stop the frustration from being clear in his voice.

Worst. Possible. Day.

“When I heard you were getting married, I realized it was wrong to keep this from you. I was scared to tell you and I didn’t want to be your burden, someone you would be obligated to be with. I’m sorry, I never should have kept her from you.” Jennifer paused and said, “and I really had no idea it was your wedding day, Adam.”

Adam’s head jerked back up. Shit! Abby!

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

He looked at Jennifer, and then Amber and then back at her. He didn’t have the slightest damn idea.

*****

Adam’s shoulders slumped thinking about that day. After Jennifer showed up and told him Amber was his daughter, he panicked and went straight to Abby’s. He told her he couldn’t marry her that day and gave no explanation.

It was definitely not one of his finer moments and Abby deserved so much better. They all deserved better, including him. He was just so confused at the time and didn’t know what the hell to do.

How he handled everything the day of what should have been their wedding and then after that day was something he was deeply ashamed of, and he never really truly gave Abby the apology she deserved.

He decided to stop in at her bakery, Dessert First, where they first met. Seemed like a fitting way to get the closure he seemed to need.

When he walked in the front door, Abby was standing behind the counter helping a customer. He took the opportunity to stare at the woman he was supposed to marry.

Abby was classically beautiful. She had long, wavy blonde hair, a cute round face and the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. She was genuinely one of the kindest people he had ever known and deserved way better than what he gave her.

Adam could tell the second she saw him. Watching her lips curve downward and her pretty blue eyes narrow made him want to turn around and walk back out. Instead, he straightened his shoulders and put a smile on his face.

He walked up to the counter and watched Abby help the older gentleman. She was all smiles as she waved goodbye to her customer, but when she glanced back at Adam her smile was gone.

Finally, he sucked in a breath. It was now or never.

“Hi, Abby.”

His greeting was initially met with silence, just a raising of one eyebrow as she studied him.

After what seemed like eternity, she finally spoke. “Adam.”

“How are you?”

Abby crossed her arms. “Good. You?

“I’m…okay.”

“What brings you in?”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Her reaction was frostier than he’d hoped. He didn’t exactly blame her, but it sure made this a lot harder.

“I wanted to apologize for, well, everything. I handled things so poorly and I want you to know how truly sorry I am.”

Adam could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to process what he had just said.

“Now that it’s years later, I can finally say I’m genuinely happy for you and Max, and things worked out in spite of me being a total jerk.”

Suspicion crossed Abby’s features. “What made you apologize after all these years?”

“We found out my dad is dying. It’s sort of been a wake-up call for me to make a few changes in my life.”

Abby gasped and her eyes immediately filled with tears. She had always gotten along really well with his parents. “I’m so sorry. What is it? How long does he have?”

“Pancreatic cancer. Not long. It shocking how fast it’s happening.”

His heart ached just thinking of his dad and how quickly the cancer was taking its toll. It was the hardest thing he’d ever been through.

“I don’t know what to say. He’s just so young. I’m so sorry.” She paused and then asked, “How are your mom and sister holding up?”

Adam shrugged. “As good as can be expected.”

Abby nodded, the sympathy on her face made him want to break down, but he had to get through this conversation and move on with his life.

He forced a smile on his face and changed the subject. “So how are you, really? How’s Max?”

“We’re doing well. Expecting our second child in a few months.”

Adam’s eyes looked toward her belly, which he now noticed looked rounded, and then looked back up to her eyes. “Your second?”

Abby nodded. “Callie is already over two years old.”

“Congratulations. I’m really happy for you both.”

Abby studied him for a few seconds and then finally gave him a smile. “Thank you.”

“I appreciate you taking the time to hear me out. I really am sorry for how badly I behaved. You deserved a lot better.”

“Thank you, Adam. I moved on with my life. I hope you can do the same and find some happiness in yours.”

“Me too.”

“I’m really sorry about your dad.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and took a breath. “Well, I took enough of your time, so I’ll get going. But, I think I’ll surprise my co-workers. Could you box up a couple dozen treats?”

“Sure.”

As he walked out the door of the bakery, he turned back around and gave Abby one more glance. She was staring after him with a genuine smile, which was a lot better than the look she gave him when he first walked in the door that morning.

He gave a little wave and left with a grin.

*****

Abby had a kid. And another on the way. What would that be like to have a family?

He shook his head, trying to envision what her life was like, and he realized he had no idea how it would feel to have a wife and child. He’d gotten a glimpse of it when he thought Amber was his daughter, but that was so short-lived that he never had time to process it.

Getting closure with Abby felt good. Really good. He needed that with Jennifer, too.

The last time he saw her, they found out he wasn’t Amber’s father. He was so confused and too upset to do anything other than walk away.

Now?

He needed to know how she was. Had she found Amber’s father? Did they have a relationship? He was convinced that if he was able to just talk to Jennifer, see how she and Amber were doing and closed that chapter in his life, maybe then, he wouldn’t be so scared to have more than just a casual relationship.

There was only one problem. He had no idea where Jennifer was and he was having a hell of a time finding her.

When he tried calling her number, some Russian-speaking person answered the phone. Adam was glad the man knew enough English to tell him it was now his number as of a year ago.

After that, he started searching online. The last he saw her she was in California. He was pretty sure she was no longer there but he didn’t know where she was now because his only connection to her was his sister and she wouldn’t tell him a damn thing.

Adam ran his hands through his hair and blew out a deep breath. Where the hell could she be? He was beginning to think he’d need to ask his sister, but just the thought made him sweat.

After trying every trick in the book, Adam decided his sister was his last resort.

*****

“Come on, Mandi! Please give me her number.”

Adam wasn’t ashamed to be begging. He asked her to come have lunch with him in hopes of being able to pry the information out of her while she ate a nice meal at Granite City. It was one of her favorite places to meet him for lunch.

“Nope. Sorry, bro. Can’t do it.”

She zipped her lips with her finger before taking another bite of her salad.

“I just want to talk to her. See how she is, but I can’t find her.”

“Adam, she’s been very clear with her wishes. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“I need to do this to move on, Mandi. Have a heart.” He paused and took a deep breath. “It has a lot to do with dad.”

Mandi gave a sympathetic click of her tongue. “I get it. I do. But she doesn’t want to talk to you. Hell, she doesn’t even want to hear your name.”

She doesn’t want to hear my name?

“I know I could have handled things better, but I’m not totally to blame here.”

She narrowed her eyes, and stared at him in silence.

Am I finally getting to her?

“I agree, but I’m following her wishes. I can try to work it into the conversation that you want to talk to her, but nothing more.”

“Well, that’s something, I guess. Give her my number if you do that.”

She shook her head. “I make no promises. Sorry, bro.”

“Understood.” Adam smiled at his sister. “And thanks, Mandi. I appreciate you even trying.”

Mandi sighed. “You know I’m stuck in the middle here, right? Between my best friend and my brother?”

Adam nodded. He figured it was worth any grief she’d give him if he had a chance to talk to Jennifer one last time.

*****

That evening, Sarah texted him, asking him to stop over. He smiled as he walked up to her door.

Okay, sure, he was ready to grow up. But he wasn’t quite ready to give up his fling with Sarah.

As he was just about to her apartment door and was raising his hand to knock, her door opened. Adam’s eyes widened as he took in her naked body, a seductive smile on her face.

Holy. Shit.

“Well, hello, handsome. You caught me just getting out of the shower.”

Adam winked at her. “Then I have perfect timing.”

Sarah grinned and grabbed his arm to pull him inside.

They barely made it to her bedroom.

A couple hours later, Adam was getting dressed when she asked a question that stopped him in his tracks.

“So, handsome. Why don’t you just spend the night instead of running off?”

Adam tried to play off the question with a wave of his hand and a simple response. “You know that isn’t our thing.”

Sarah’s lip turned out in a sexy pout. “I know, I just thought it would be fun. Make your morning start out right.”

Adam looked up and met her eyes as he continued to button up his jeans. He was still overheated so his t-shirt still remained on the floor. The cool breeze from the ceiling fan felt good on his bare chest as he pondered how to respond.

He didn’t know what to say, so he muttered, “Hmm.”

“You know, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two months now, right?”

Crap.
“Has it been that long?”

Sarah nodded. “And my divorce is final now.”

He leaned down to pick up his shirt. He could tell where this was headed and he shook his head, regret filling him.

“And I guess what I’m trying to say is, couldn’t we maybe try for…more? Go out to dinner or something? Get to know each other?”

He’d been honest from the beginning. It was just sex for him. And he thought she felt the same way. When the hell had it turned into more for her?

He did not see that coming.

He gave a warning edge to his tone. “Sarah…”

“What? I tried to keep it just about sex, but I don’t think I’m made that way.”

He sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed and looked at her pretty face. She was gorgeous, no question. Her husband was a dumbass for cheating on her. She was amazing in bed and seemed very sweet. But she just wasn’t…ugh, he didn’t know. She just wasn’t what he wanted long term.

Sarah gasped. “You really aren’t interested in more, are you?”

Adam shook his head and made his voice as gentle as possible, but tough enough for her to understand. “I’ve been honest from the beginning, Sarah. I wish you’d have said something earlier, if you were starting to feel something more. I just…I’m not in a good place right now.”

Sarah tried to hide the hurt, but he could see it flicker across her face. “Oh, that’s okay. We can just leave it as-is.”

Again, Adam sighed. He certainly didn’t want to give up his nights with Sarah, but he wasn’t so much of an asshole that he’d continue to see her knowing she was developing feelings for him. He already knew he’d never feel that way in return.

Regret filled his voice. “I think it’s best if we just say goodbye.”