Second Lies (The Second Life Series) (13 page)

There was a long pause before Garrett asked in a hushed voice, “Do you really want me to go with you?”

I gulped.  Shit, it was way too soon to even be bringing something like this up.  I didn’t like the look on his face.  He was overanalyzing my question, searching for meaning, probably wondering if he should let me down now before pretending to look at his schedule.  I started rambling. “It was a stupid idea.  We said we’d take it slow with each other, and I put you in an awkward position like that.  I’m sorry.  I don’t want you feeling obligated to go.  Things are no
less complicated than when we left Philly.  I guess I just got caught up in this world where only you and I exist.” I couldn’t look at him.  I felt stupid for asking him.  Honestly, I don’t even know why I asked in the first place.

“I’ll come,” he said, pressing his lips to mine.  He held my chin to keep our eyes connected. “Nothing stopped being complicated and that won’t change for a long time, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do the simple things.”

“Simple things?” I scoffed. “So what do I tell my dad?  I’m bringing a married man to Virginia for the holidays.  That doesn’t sound simple.”

“You tell him the truth,” Garrett smiled, his eyes bright. “You tell him you’re bringing home your boyfriend.”

I blinked hard, frozen into a state of shock.  Suddenly, I knew the answer to my question: Why did I invite Garrett to Virginia this morning?

...Because I wanted him th
ere.

I climbed out of the shower and into the bedroom.  From the window, I could spot
Garrett clearing some snow out of the driveway.  After an amazing couple nights, we were finally heading back to the city.  It was like the world chose to tease me with a taste of perfection, only to leave it as a bitter and distant memory.  Nothing would be perfect about returning to Philadelphia.

When I walked over to the mirror, I glanced over my naked body and flinched.  My legs were covered in bruises from two nights of wild sex. 
Garrett was never delicate with me, and I loved every second of that.  Instinctually, he knew what I wanted and was never scared to give me that.

As I changed into some warm clothes, I thought about yesterday.  He had called
himself my
boyfriend
.  I was still so new to this dating scene that it left me utterly confused.  I didn’t exactly know the parameters to being the girlfriend of a married man…and so damn soon?  I wondered if it was the bliss of the weekend that caused him to get carried away.  Clearly, he couldn’t have committed himself to me so fast.  Shit, of all the guys to fall for, I choose Garrett
fucking
Holden.  This situation couldn’t be more of an inconvenience.

“Are you ready to go?”
Garrett startled me.   He was still dressed in his snow clothes, somehow looking gorgeous in that, too.

This was unfair.  I didn’t want to leave.  There wasn’t a damn thing back in Philly besides Gloria, and she could
come visit me. “No, we should stay.  I love it here.  I love this house.  I love being with you.”

“So the cold’s starting to grow on you?”
Garrett laughed. “We can come back to visit in January.  I’ll teach you how to ice skate.”  If only he knew how serious I was. I grabbed my bag, checked around the house one last time, and headed east for Philadelphia.

After a couple hours,
Garrett pulled up at my apartment building.  Reality was setting in.  I had no job.  I wasn’t in school.  And I was officially in a relationship with someone who I couldn’t really see in public.  Oh yeah, I was also being blackmailed by one of the wealthiest men in New Jersey.  How did I start reeking of “loser” so suddenly?

“I don’t think I’ll be able to see you until tomorrow night,”
Garrett said after putting my bags down in the living room.  I shot him a look. “Christmas is around the corner.  We’re busy as hell, and I still have to go shopping for Jade.  I’ll text you as much as I can.”

“
It’s fine,” I answered. “We had two days together.  I really can’t complain about you catching up on life after giving me that.”

“That’s my girl,” he gave me a kiss. “I promise.  Time will just fly by.  Besides, I’m surprised you’re not sick of me yet.”

“Not yet,” I laughed. “Okay, I’ll let you go.  Text me when you can.”

After one more hug and kiss,
Garrett left, and I was alone and completely exhausted.  Tomorrow, I was going to start job hunting.  I needed things to keep me busy.  Garrett had so much going on in his life, and he’d only be getting busier when the new baby and other business opportunities came along.  I would need some distractions to help keep me sane, but for now, I was taking a long, much needed nap.

The intercom buzzed, and I struggled to get out of bed.  I pressed the callback button, and it was the front desk, “Ms. Ward, there’s a Mr. Holden wanting to see you.  He’s not on your approved guest list.  Can I send him up?”

My vision was still blurry, but as it cleared, I gasped at the time.  I had slept for almost six hours.  Fuck,
Garrett must have finished work early and come to hang out here.  I buzzed the call button, “Yeah, you can send him up.”

Quickly, I ran a brush through my hair and changed out of the same clothes that I was wearing this morning
and into the first articles of clothing I could find, a denim skirt and pink t-shirt.  There really wasn’t any time to freshen up my makeup, so my mildly sloppy appearance would have to do.  There was a hard knock at my door.  I answered it.

“Hey,” Wes grinned, dressed in a coat and jeans.  My smile quickly faded.  He scratched the back of his head, looking uncomfortable. “How’ve you been?”

For a while, I just stood there, looking like a complete idiot.  This was the last person that I ever expected to see at my front door, but here he was looking as magnificent as ever, stealing my breath and coherency as usual.

“Can I come in?” He asked, and I woke up from my daze.  I motioned inside
my apartment and shut the door once he was in.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, leaning
my back against the door to brace myself. 
This
couldn’t be real. 
He
couldn’t be real.  Life couldn’t be that cruel to me, right?

Wes shrug
ged and took off his coat, slinging it over the couch.  He was dressed in a gray thermal shirt that hinted to his defined pecs and arms and lean build.  I shook my look away from his body, concentrating on a different fact.  Shit, he took off his coat; that meant he was staying a while.  I started wondering if I had anything incriminating lying around my apartment, but it was so hard to think straight.  This was the last thing I ever expected.

“It’s been a few months, so I figured we could actually talk now, get it all out in the open, no distractions, no yelling, just
civilized talking,” he was speaking clearly, but I was still in a complete fog, an utter state of shock.

Before he could say one more thing, I buzzed the front desk, “Yes, Ms. Ward, is there a problem?”

I stared into those damned eyes that captivated me so fully and grumbled into the speaker, “I’m not taking any more guests for the rest of today.  If anyone tries to visit me, please deny their access.” Wes breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes, Ms. Ward.
Let us know if you’ll need any more assistance.”

I folded my arms and glared across the room.  As much as I’d been missing him for these past few months, I couldn’t help but still feel anger boiling deep inside of me.  He had betrayed me to the one person in this world that I hated.  Now, I was being strung around like Darth’s puppet, a prisoner to his games
, while Wes got off scot free.  He owed me an explanation for everything whether or not I was going to like it.

“Talk.
  You came all this way, so you must have something significant to say,” I went into the kitchen, brushing past him without a second look.  I grabbed a glass and filled it with wine.  Yes, something told me I’d need to be good and buzzed to handle this conversation. “I’m all ears.”

“Dennis came to me in confidence to ask if you had anything to hide.  Of course, I told him
‘no’ at first, but then, he showed me pictures of you coming and going from Lux.  He had concrete evidence that you worked there, and he promised that if we worked together we could conceal it all.  No one would have to know your secret,” he took a step closer to me.  I didn’t move. “I wanted to protect you.”

“So you were doing me a favor?” He nodded frantically, hope glistening in his eyes.  I drank back the rest of the wine and hurled the glass into the sink.  It shattered into a million
fragments. “Since when the fuck did it become your job to make decisions for me?  The last time I checked I am a grown fucking woman who can act and think for herself!”

Wes flinched, taking a tentative but necessary step back.  Part of me wondered how this would have gone if I hadn’t just returned from a spectacular weekend with another man.  I’d still be vulnerable
, desperate, and lonely, starving for affection.  Would I cave to his apologies?  I forced myself not to think that way.  Our relationship was over, and it needed to stay that way.  Without trust, we had absolutely nothing.

“I’m sorry.  I never anticipated for this to happen.  Believe me, Adriana, I never, ever wanted to hurt you,” he clenched his jaw shut. “Once the elections get closer, opponents are going to dig.  They’ll look for anything from anyone close to Dennis to hurt his reputation.  I’m sorry that that includes you, but I couldn’t watch you become a victim.  I didn’t want to watch you go through the pain of your father and brother finding out.”

“That decision was mine to make, no matter what your intentions were,” I rubbed my head, suddenly realizing that even after a six hour long nap I was feeling exhausted. “You took away my choices.  You took control of my life and didn’t even say a word to me about it until it was too late and you were already caught.  I can only imagine how long you would’ve kept this secret if I didn’t figure it out on my own.”

He nodded his head and exhaled, “You’re right.  I fucked up.  I should’ve gone about it another way.  We all make mistakes.  I just didn’t think the price for mine would be so high.”  We were both silent
, going over our thoughts, waiting for the other to do or say anything.  Finally, he said in an accusing tone. “I saw you that night at the bar.”

Ironically, Declan should be the least of his worries.  I rolled my eyes, “I didn’t know you b
ought it.  If I had, believe me, I would’ve stayed far, far away.  I apologize for you seeing me out at your new bar, but I refuse to apologize for being a single girl and out on a date.  You won’t make me feel guilty for that.”

“Do you know what that did to me?” He shouted, breaking his normally sound exterior
, completely exposing his open wounds.  The words spilled out of his mouth. “You have no idea what it’s like to watch the girl you love being touched by another man!”

The world stopped spinning.  All the air left the room.  Time completely froze.  My voice came out in nearly a whisper.
“What did you just say?”

“Nothing,” he groaned, stepping away from me and facing towards the window over
looking the city. “Fuck, I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes, you did,” I stomped towards him and grabbed him by the shoulder, forcing him to face me. “What the hell did you just say to me?”

He frowned, looking pained and miserable.  Finally, he said, “I love you, Adriana.  I loved you since the first time I woke up with you next to me in bed, and I never stopped.  I know you remember that night.  I never wanted to protect a single person more in my entire life.”

It was the exact wrong moment to say this to me, but the words echoed out
of his mouth in the most imperfectly perfect sound.  The tenseness in my body left along with the hardness set in my face.  My rigid exterior completely faded as I took in the intensity of those three, little words.

Wes Holden loved me.

“Please, give me another chance,” he said wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. “I’m miserable without you.  I can’t go another day wondering if you’re with another guy.  I need you, Adriana.  I love you.”

He didn’t even give me a chance to think.  Before I could process his words to their fullest extent, Wes was kissing me.  His hands compressed me to him, scared that I’d rip myself out of his hold.  He poured his everything into that kiss, and instantly, my body became aware with desire.  It was as if I had been in hibernation, and suddenly, I was given my life back…except, my life was currently with someone else…his brother.

Wes pulled away and looked into my eyes, holding my gaze and this moment.  He breathed, sounding utterly defeated and pained, “Take your time with this.  I gave you a lot to think about.” Finally, he kissed the tip of my nose and added. “I want what my brother has.  I want a family and marriage and a future.  You’re my future.”

He grabbed his coat and started putting it on.  Terror ran through me.  He was about to leave, disappearing into the world again like he had during those last three months.  I choked on my words as I cried out, “You can’t just come in here, turn my life upside down and leave!  Who the hell gave you that right?”

He stopped, frozen in place.  He walked up to me again and held on to the sides of my face, “Tell me what you want.  Whatever that is, I’ll give it to you.”