Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (19 page)

Chapter 22

I Will Not Bow

Evie

My fingers fumble with the buttons on my rust red polo shirt with the diner emblem embroidered over my right boob. That fucker sears my skin right through my shirt and bra. Normally, I leave the collar open. It gets hot in the diner when it’s busy, and I need the breathing room. Not today, though. Maybe never again. After several tries, my collar is closed and threatening to choke me.

I grab my purse, my apron, tie my sneakers, and head out the door with plenty of time to spare.

I’m not sure how long I stare at the steering wheel, immobile, before a quick rap on my window sends me jumping out of my skin.

Papou drives me silently into work, sensing that I would not be able to safely operate a motor vehicle on my own. We don’t speak. Instead, he gives me the space I need to regain this small step of independence. I would feel badly for him having to retrieve me after his usual bedtime, but my mind is too occupied in trying to talk myself down, convince myself that there is no reason to be distrusting and suspicious of any lone males that I may wait on during my first shift in nearly four weeks.

Still, I find myself replaying every interaction I ever had with Jackson. Were there signs I missed? Of course there were. Rob instantly didn’t like Jackson. What did Rob see that I didn’t? Could I have done anything differently? Maybe I need to be less friendly, less conversational. I thought I was so careful about that ever since what happened with Eddie, but clearly I wasn’t. Did I lead Jackson on? Did I make him feel something that was never there on my end? Would he have done this to anyone? Was it just my typical shitty luck?

By the time we pull into the diner’s parking lot, I don’t have any answers. As much as I want concrete things to feel and hold onto, that’s just not possible. The scariest part of life is realizing that sometimes…there are no reasons. It is what it is.

Random horrific events are both license to live freely and a prison by which we sometimes cage ourselves. The only choice we really have in life is which route to pursue. Even if we can’t control everything that happens to us, we absolutely have control over our reaction to these things that threaten to break us.

Rob taught me that, however unintentionally. He called me out. Made me take a hard look in the mirror. Forced me to realize that I didn’t like my reflection.

I used to bend, to sneak into the shadows, hoping to ride out the next tsunami, all the while letting everyone else control me and turn me into someone I wasn’t.

No more.

Entering the diner isn’t as difficult as it could have been since Rob and I already crossed that bridge together, but I find myself lingering in the kitchen. I take longer to punch in and tie my apron than I normally would. Margie is blessedly silent, but nonetheless hovering over me as a mother hen. CJ’s presence behind the grill is a welcome familiarity, but it’s not enough. He won’t be in the dining room with me.

It’s time to save myself. I don’t want to live in fear any more than I already do.

Knowing that it can’t be avoided any longer, I hesitantly push through the kitchen door to begin my shift…only to find the tables full of familiar faces.

Tonight there are six booths that make up my section. One is occupied by Papou, YiaYia, Mama, and Patty. At their usual spot are Mike, Chelsie, Alex, Rachel, and Rob. Another table holds Jeremy, Lys, Ash, Jess, and Chase. At still another are Tini, her latest fling, and a group of her friends. The last two are occupied by friends from band, and the rest of the diner is full of a mix of bandies and football players. The other waitresses must be thanking their tip pockets for such a busy night.

Approaching my family first, I try to tamp down the smile of pure gratitude that threatens to overrun my desire for calm control in this place. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed this until now. “You guys didn’t have to do this; I would’ve been okay.”

It’s a lie, and they know it.

Papou leans back against the chair with a wide smile. “This was not our idea. We were willing to let you do it on your own.”

“Then, who did this?” There’s no way all these people are here by sheer coincidence on a Tuesday evening. Perhaps Lys and Jess arranged for all of this.

But, no. Papou points to the softly smiling cowboy who carried me around all day.

He’s lost his hat, but sits in his usual spot beside the kitchen door. I can’t quite identify the expression on his face, but it makes the urge to throw myself on him that much more difficult to strangle in an effort to do my job.

I approach his booth slowly, glancing around at the diner full of friendly faces. It’s a strange sensation for Rob to keep his gaze so focused on me. He’s barely been able to look at me directly since my attack.

“Howdy,” he offers, pretending to tip his invisible hat.

There’s so much I want to say, but with his group of friends staring intently at us, now isn’t the time. “You did this? For
me
?”

He nods, his cheeks flushing, but he finally casts his gaze to the lacquered table top.

“I thought you didn’t want to hang out at the diner anymore?”

“Made an exception for my favorite waitress,” he mumbles.

It’s clear that even though he went to all this trouble, he’s still uncomfortable with our situation, so I let him off the hook.

“What’ll you guys have? Except for you.” I point my pen at Rob. “You always get the same thing.”

Everyone at the table laughs, then starts shouting their orders over each other.

The next hour keeps me occupied with a full section of customers, too busy getting plates to tables and refilling drinks to be nervous about anything else.

Rob rises to his feet, nearly toppling me as I rush past his booth to fetch a dessert order. “I need my check, please.”

“You’re leaving? Already?” This has to be the shortest amount of time he’s ever sat in this booth. Disappointment crushes my high hopes over his arrangements for tonight and what it might mean for us.

He nods, so I hustle into the kitchen, not wanting him to see me break.

I hand over his bill in silence, but don’t meet his gaze.

He kisses me on the cheek before announcing loudly enough for everyone to hear, “I gotta go pick up the kids, honey.”

He laughs at my surprised expression as he walks away. I completely forgot he’s supposed to get our new pets tonight, too caught up in anxiety and then happiness. And he knew it.

I wouldn’t dream of calling after him if I didn’t already know all the people in my section personally. “I really hate you sometimes, Falls!”

He doesn’t even look over his shoulder as he yells back, the entire restaurant hearing our exchange. “Yeah, but you love me the rest of the time.”

The glorious bastard has no idea how right he is, and how much it’s killing me not to be able to tell him so.

***

“All members of Homecoming court, please report to the lobby. Thank you.” The PA system crackles before going dead. At least there wasn’t the usual reverb.

              Jess, Mike, and I exchange curious glances before climbing out of our desks. We already took the publicity photos yesterday for the local newspaper and yearbook. The sponsors had let us know to bring a change of nice clothes in lieu of our country western gear.

              As we shuffle out of homeroom, I glance down at my outfit for today. Rob’s football hoodie and my IHS sweatpants are hardly ideal for a photo op. It’s favorite team day. Naturally, the entire school is wearing blue and gold. Who needs to show their support for professional sports when our high school routinely wins the State Championships in football, basketball, and baseball?

              The students on court spill into the mostly empty hallway from our separate classrooms and head toward the stairwell.

              “Hey, Falls!” Alex’s voice echoes off the lockers as laughter and shenigans break out around me.

              Mike turns and walks down the hall backwards to see what’s going on behind us. He cups his hands around his mouth and yells back, “Yo, Fossoway! Stop making such a ruckus! Students are trying to concentrate on the news in their classrooms!”

              “Shut your pie hole, Mitchell! I’m not talking to you!”

              Mike smirks at Alex’s response, but faces forward again. Within seconds, Chelsie jumps on his back, and they go running toward the stairwell.

              “Boys are so immature,” Jess mutters beside me.

              I glance ahead to where Ashton and another guy from court are shoving each other and laughing. “How are you going to complete the camping item from the list? I think almost everyone is doing it tonight since tomorrow is pajama day. It’ll be easy to roll out of our tents and come to school in the morning.”

              She sighs. “We’re not. No matter how much I begged my mom, she won’t budge. She doesn’t want us sleeping together even if it’s in our own backyard. She actually called the school to complain about their ‘inciting students to act on unholy thoughts.’” She makes air quotes.

              Alyssa and Jeremy sidle up to us.

“I can’t believe she honestly thinks you’re a virgin,” Alyssa snickers.

              Jeremy pales and coughs a bit. “Your mom still thinks you are, though, right?”

              I fight the urge to laugh at his reaction even as my stomach clenches. I seriously don’t want to have another discussion about my friends’ active sex lives. Especially since I’m unusually frustrated about my lack of one, lately. While most of court is going to be getting it on tonight in their tents, I’ll be lucky if Rob doesn’t set up two separate sleeping areas for us. Or bail on the whole thing.

              At least he didn’t yell at me when I left another red rose, note, and protein shake on his locker this morning. I still can’t resist screwing with him, especially when it gets such a reaction out of him. Some emotion is better than none.

              “Psst, Falls!” Alex yells again behind me.

              “Will you shut up already?” Jeremy shouts. “He’s right beside you!”

              “Where are you and Rob camping tonight?” Jess asks, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

              “Um, his backyard. He said he already has a tent, but I don’t, so…” I think I’d rather be in Jess’ shoes and have someone take this scavenger hunt item away from me.

              As we shuffle down the steps, the boys’ horseplay increases in volume.

              “Falls! Falls! Heyyyyyyy, Falls!”

              Is there something the matter with Rob today? Maybe he is mad about my little gifts?

              He seemed a lot better last night. After he left to pick up the cats, I figured I wouldn’t see him again. Wrong. He came back to collect me and drive me home at the end of my shift. Apparently, he wanted to discuss our joint custody of Patch and Felix and make sure I got home okay.

              It wasn’t really a boyfriend move, but it wasn’t necessarily an innocent friend move, either. Or maybe it was. I don’t know.

              This whole situation is so confusing.

              As soon as we exit the stairwell, I turn around to see what’s going on behind me after Alex calls Rob’s name again. I blink a few times at the sight. Rob has Alex in a headlock while Alex cackles like a hyena.

              “Will you shut the fuck up?” Rob hisses.

              Alex meets my gaze and winks. “Hey, look! She finally learned her name!”

              I stop in my tracks and stare at him like he’s lost his mind. Someone tugs on the back of my sweatshirt, which nearly causes me to hit the floor in a protective stance.

              The only thing that keeps me upright is Alyssa’s explanation of Alex’s bizarre behavior. “Your back says Falls, Evie.”

              “Oh.” Blush creeps over my cheeks. I’m not sure what’s worse; forgetting that I’m wearing his name or that he seems so upset that I am. If it was going to bother him so much, he could’ve said no when I asked to wear it. Maybe I should rethink wearing his jersey on Friday for spirit day.

              According to Rob, that tradition is reserved only for girlfriends of players. I was so hopeful when he said I could, but I guess asking to wear it and
being
asked to are very different things.

              Shudders break out over my body when a finger traces the letters on my back.

              “Stop touching her. She doesn’t like it.”

              I blink up to find Rob towering over me and glaring at someone over my shoulder. “I…I’m fine. You don’t speak for me.”

              He raises an eyebrow like he knows I’m lying. “I was trying to be a better gender equalist, but I guess that’s a bust. What I really wanted to say is get your hand off her before I break it, Jeremy.”

              I swallow as Jeremy’s laughter echoes in my ears. My silent staring match with Rob is interrupted by the irritated voice of our principal.