Second Chances: Love Nibbles (5 page)

Camilla moaned. “This is so nice. But I should do this for you. You’re the one who strained his muscles all day.”

His nuzzling lips on the back of her neck made her quiver. “Between the two of us, I think you’ve had the harder day. I know it wasn’t easy for you to leave your home.”

She thought about the difficulty and the necessity of moving out. “It’s been almost a year since Sam died. Ten months. They tell you not to make any major life changes right away, no new job or house, but I think ten months is long enough. I couldn’t stay where we’d lived together any longer. I had to get free of all those memories.”

“I understand.” More soft kisses peppered the tops of her shoulders and her upper back. “Not to put down your new place, but why here? You could’ve rented in a better area.”

She studied the chipped paint on the windowsills, the uneven hang of the door in its frame. “I liked this place right away. It reminds me of an apartment I had in college. Sort of like pressing a reset button.”

“Starting over,” he whispered against her spine as he pulled her tank straps down her shoulders. His fingers skimmed lightly over her skin leaving trails of heat in their wake.

“Yeah.” She raised her arms and Ryan removed her top.

Her breasts barely filled his big hands. She glanced down at his fingers plucking and rolling her nipples. The sweet ache plunged straight down to her pussy. Her gaze flicked to the screen where the deaf couple in the elevator signed
You complete me
, and then her eyes closed in pleasure.

Ryan slipped a hand under the waistband of her shorts and massaged until her clit grew hard and her pussy buttery from the delicate strokes. She moaned and peeled off her shorts to lie nude between his legs. His solid chest and strong arms supported her much better than any armchair could. His erection pressed into her lower back, and long legs cradled hers. She melted against him like candle wax.

On the TV, Tom was drunk and coming on hard to Renée because he feared being alone. Soon he’d kiss her on her doorstep then take her to bed. Camilla had never been less interested in watching that scene play out. She whimpered and squirmed beneath Ryan’s fingers that dipped lower, seeking her entrance. She was slippery and her muscles clenched around his probing fingers.

At last Ryan removed his fingers from inside her and turned her around to face him. Camilla settled on his lap and leaned to kiss him; his mouth, the corner of his lips, along his rough jaw, and down his throat to where his pulse beat. She flicked her tongue into the salty hollow, then traveled the landscape of his sculpted chest from one nipple to the other, tonguing the tight buds until Ryan moaned. What a lovely rewarding sound.

He spread his arms on the sofa cushions and leaned back as she moved her mouth over his twitching stomach. She pulled down his briefs and his cock sprang out, hard and ready. Her pussy throbbed at the sight of the dark purple head and thick shaft. She desperately needed him inside her again, but there was time to play first.

Camilla enjoyed his pleasure as she took his thickness in hand and pressed her lips to the soft, round head. How strange. She hadn’t even known him before this morning, yet it felt completely natural to take his cock into her mouth now. Musky and earthy, his solid flesh satisfied her.

Ryan rocked his hips as she set a pumping rhythm with her fist. Her jaw ached at the unfamiliar stretch. It had been over a year since she’d gone down on Sam. Her desire had waned along with his passion for her, until she began to forget which of them had drawn away first. Now Ryan’s soft whimper drove her crazy. Lust raged through her at his need which increased her own arousal.

He tugged lightly on her hair. “Stop now. Come up here.”

He fetched another condom from his discarded jeans and applied it quickly. It occurred to Camilla he probably had a lot of practice.

He seated her on his lap again, and this time Camilla settled slowly onto his shaft. She surrounded him, took him deep inside her, and when they were fully joined, she moved slowly, subtly, making this time last.

Ryan’s eyes glittered in the flickering light of the television. As he gripped her hips to guide her, the romantic movie music heightened the drama. He looked into her eyes as they rose and fell together. All the sadness and bleak numbness of the past year floated away. She felt light and buoyant, and fully alive at last. Her climax broke through like a water geyser erupting from dry earth. She gripped Ryan’s shoulders hard and clung to him as her body quaked.

Ryan’s hips jerked as he drove into her gushing wetness. Her body clenched around him so tightly, she felt the pulses of his orgasm. He buried his face against her shoulder and held her tightly as he came.

Camilla hugged him back, savoring his shudders of bliss. She breathed in the scent of his shampoo and the fresh sweat glistening on his body. He was vital and strong, healthy and whole in her arms. After suffering the long shadowed time of illness and death, this felt like a celebration of life.

They clung to each another for several rapturous moments, and then at last Camilla pulled away.

Ryan ran a hand through his wild hair and glanced down to where their bodies were still joined. “This is the most fun I’ve ever had moving someone into a new house.”

She laughed. He cupped her nape and pulled her to him for another kiss.

“Can I spend the night?” he asked.

Oh, how she wanted it! The idea of spooning in his arms and waking up to more sex in the morning, a shared breakfast, a long conversation, was irresistible. But an overnight seemed like the beginning of something much more than a casual encounter.

Ryan smoothed the crease from between her eyebrows. “You’re thinking too hard again. No pressure. No expectations. Just one night, okay?”

He was too tempting. She nodded. “All right. One night.”

“Also you should let me build those shelves for you. I’m good at carpentry and I’d do it for the cost of supplies. But you can pay me for the work if it makes you feel better.”

“I
do
need shelves,” she admitted.

And even though she could already feel “one night” turning into something more, Camilla rose, took his hand and led him to her bedroom.

Chapter Five

Many hours later, sometime close to morning, the fresh sheets she’d put on the bed half straggled from the mattress onto the floor. The scent of sex and sweat permeated the sheets like some erotic fabric softener. Camilla’s body felt as weak and pliant as putty as she draped over Ryan’s lazy form and drew her finger in concentric circles around his left nipple.

“What does your tat mean?” She moved her finger to the blue-black symbols adorning his forearm.

“I’ve actually forgotten. The girl I got it with told me the significance, but I was suffering the hangover from hell and really don’t remember. Something about peace or love.”

He lifted his arm and studied the marking. “Believe it or not, I’m not a tattoo kind of guy. Never saw the point in it. But I was seriously wasted that night. This was after Natalie, when I was in my ‘fuck out the pain’ mode.”

“Isn’t that one of the stages of grief?”

He chuckled and the warm sound percolated through his body and into hers.

“I’d spent my early twenties being the perfect boyfriend, loyal and attentive, so I decided it was time to make up for those lost years by banging as many girls as I could. But after about a year of marathon sex, I was a physical wreck from the drugs and drinking and as torn up inside as if Natalie had just left. I’d only delayed getting over her.”

Camilla nodded. Was he trying to give her a message about tonight or merely sharing his experience?

“I straightened up, decided what I really wanted to do with my life, and started back to school. I’ve dated a few women this past year, but nothing serious.”

“Sounds like you packed a lot of living into a very short time.” She considered her vastly different experience.

“Indulging your vices and actually living your life aren’t the same thing.” He lightly kneaded her rear. “Anyway, I thought you might want to know more about me. That I did those things, but I’m not that guy any more.”

It doesn’t matter. We’re only having this one night. Nothing is going to come of this.
She kept the dismissive thought to herself. “Thank you for telling me.”

“What about you?” he asked. “What do you plan to do now?”

“I suppose keep on teaching like always. I have to earn a living.”

“But what about traveling? Earlier you suggested you’d put some plans on hold.”

Camilla thought of the tickets to England she’d purchased just before Sam had gone in for his first series of tests.

“I’ve been through a lot of changes this past year. I don’t know if it’s the right time to go abroad.” She paused then added, “Or to start a new relationship.” Better to get it out in the open. Maybe Ryan didn’t want her to cling to him.

He paused. “So this is only going to be a one night thing?”

Her head still lay on his chest. She listened to his heart beating and felt awful. “I think it’s best. I’ve never really lived on my own. I went from my parents’ home to having collage roommates to marrying Sam. It’s time I learned how to be alone.”

He remained silent a few seconds more. “Okay. I can understand that. I’m sorry though. I feel like we could really have something. I know it sounds crazy after only knowing each other a day, but sometimes a person enters your life, unexpectedly, and everything just clicks. You just…know.”

I thought I
just knew
about Sam, but I was young, naïve and wrong.

Ryan pulled his arm from beneath her, leaving her back cold. “It’s late. I should probably leave. Let you get some sleep.”

She wanted to tell him “no,” that it was almost morning and he might as well spend the rest of the night. But that would detract from the message she’d given him.

Camilla sat and pulled the rumpled sheet up over her breasts.
Wrapping myself to go back into storage
, she thought.

Ryan rose from the bed, a glorious young god, and covered his beautiful body with clothes. Regret welled in her heart, and the pain let her know she was doing the right thing ending an impossible relationship before it got started. Better a little disappointment now than a lot of heartache later on.

She rose and put on her robe before walking Ryan to the door. After spending the most intimate, amazing moments of her life with him, it felt too awkward to say goodbye this way. He slipped his hands around her waist and leaned to kiss her. Tears prickled her eyes and she blinked them away before facing him again.

“Thanks for everything, for helping me move and for making my first night here so pleasant.” She cringed at the innocuous word that belittled their amazing union.

“Thanks for having me.” His smile didn’t reach his somber eyes. “If you change your mind, you have my number.”

She nodded and then there was nothing else to do but watch him walk out the door and close it behind him.

Chapter Six

“Are you crazy?” Camilla’s friend Barb asked for again as she unrolled a candlestick from a twist of newspaper. “I mean really, what were you thinking? Opportunities like that are priceless. They don’t just rain down from the sky. You should take advantage of it.”

Barb sat back on her heels and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. Her latest cut was buzzed short in back with long locks framing her face. In the twelve years Camilla had known her, Barb changed her hairstyle the way most people did outfits.

Camilla smoothed her own wavy brown hair and realized she’d worn it pretty much the same way since college. Maybe it was time for her to get a bob or bangs or a color change. Better to play with her hair than some young man’s feelings.

“Having a one-nighter was wild enough. Carrying on with him any longer would be wrong. The guy was only a little older than most of my students.”

Camilla tried her mother-in-law’s painting in one last spot on the living room wall before giving up on it. The picture would definitely go into storage along with the pile of boxes in the foyer.

“So what! He
isn’t
one of your students. That’s the difference. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little something going with a younger man.” Barb rubbed her nose and left a dirty smudge behind. “He sounds perfect for you, a little fun with no strings attached. A younger man is just what you need.”

Camilla cursed herself for blurting her secret. She’d needed to vent, but now Barb was completely missing the point. Having an affair with Ryan might’ve been acceptable if they were both on the same page about keeping it light. But after only one night together there’d been overtones of possibilities and serious emotions in the air. She couldn’t explain that part so Barb would understand. One or the other of them would begin to care more and only disaster could follow.

“Will you drop it, please?” Camilla begged.

“No. I don’t think so. As a feminist I’m appalled that you have this ageist attitude and think it’s inappropriate to date a younger man. And as your friend I think you need a some sexual relief. I haven’t seen you look this good in a long time. He was good for you. Go for it.”