Second Chances (16 page)

Sabrina’s stomach gave a sickening lurch. All
along she’d thought Renaldo had had this perfect life growing up. How wrong
she’d been. And how much worse did that make what she’d done with Mateo? What
she’d done was bad enough, but for Renaldo it must be like living his childhood
all over again.

“She came back for a couple of months and Mr.
Silva gave her a second chance, but she left again. This time for good, leaving
him to raise three small children on his own. Of course, everyone sided with
Renaldo’s father, and even though he had help from family members, he ended up
moving from Rio. Leo was about thirteen at the time, and he remembers the
adults talking about how Mr. Silva wanted to get away from the memories and
start over. He was already successful in real estate, so he set up his business
in Sao Paulo. That’s where he met his second wife. He’d actually hired her to
watch his children and they fell in love. She loved his kids like they were her
own.”

“Where is Renaldo’s biological mother now?”

“Her relationship never lasted, but she did
marry again later. She eventually moved to Sao Paulo, too. Her second husband
passed away about ten years after they married, leaving her a small fortune.
She never married again after that, and she never had any more children.

“I pity her. I can understand leaving your
husband, but how could you leave your kids?” Alexa shook her head and rubbed
her stomach. “She missed out on all the joys of motherhood, watching her
children grow up and become adults. She has grandchildren now, and she’s missed
out on that, too. They say she’s a very lonely woman, living by herself in a
big house on the outskirts of the city. She’ll pay for what she did for the
rest of her life.”

The gravity of those words filled Sabrina with
fear. How could Renaldo ever be able to forgive her for what she did?

In his eyes, she must be as bad as his own
mother.

Chapter Fourteen

After they returned from the beach, Sabrina showered,
dressed, and went downstairs to help Mamãe Silva and Beatrisa, who had been
working all day preparing for the party. The caterers set up the food outside,
and by nightfall the house was filled with guests and the party in full swing.

Strings of lights hung on the bushes and on
poles placed strategically around the yard, with votive candles flickering on
the tables. The food stations overflowed with a multitude of traditional and
nontraditional choices. Sweets like
brigadeiros
, the Brazilian version
of a chocolate truffle, and a guava and cream cheese pastry known as “Romeo and
Juliet” were served alongside chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. There was
rice and beans as well as lasagna, and fish dishes like
bacalhoada
.

At Sabrina’s urging, Alexa took a break and sat
down in a chair. Sabrina joined her around the crowded table. They scooped big
spoonfuls of
feijoada,
Brazil’s national dish, onto their plates. Rice
and a steaming pot of stewed beans, pork, and meat made up the meal, which was
garnished with sliced oranges. Baskets of bread were passed around, including
pao
de queijo
, Sabrina’s weakness ever since the first time she’d tasted the
tiny cheese bread.  

As they ate, Lucélia climbed into Sabrina’s lap
and started chattering away. The little girl had grown attached to Sabrina and
stayed close to her side at all times. As Sabrina’s gaze traveled around the
table, the family atmosphere brought tears to her eyes. She’d never had this
growing up.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Alexa whispered.

They exchanged a look. Alexa must appreciate
the celebratory atmosphere and sense of belonging, too, having lost her parents
at a young age.

“Yeah. It is.” 

__________

Carrying a glass of scotch and a
caipirinha
in his hands, Renaldo walked over to Leonardo on the outer circle of the party
and handed him a drink.

“
Saúde
,” Renaldo said. They clinked
glasses and he sipped his scotch. “You’re ready to leave all this behind?”

“It’ll be hard. Alexa has fallen in love with
the house, the food, my family, everything. She loves that my mother lives with
us and is available to help her with the children. She doesn’t want to leave.”

“But business calls.”

Leonardo nodded. “I have no choice. Luckily, I
have an idea of how to make this work so that we can live here permanently. But
I won’t be able to start working on it until we move back to the States.”

“It’ll work out if that’s what you really
want.”

“I do. My mother would love it, too. And
besides, a happy wife means fewer headaches for me.” Leonardo chuckled. “How
are things?”

Renaldo wasn’t ready to tell Leo the truth
about his relationship with Sabrina. “Good.”

He hadn’t thought much about the current status
of their relationship, preferring to let it be. He would just enjoy it while it
lasted, because she would be leaving soon, and that’s what he wanted. Wasn’t
it?

They were simply using each other for sexual
satisfaction. It was a matter of convenience for now and to keep up the charade
until the probation period was over. Because he couldn’t forgive her for what she
had done. Could he?

And even if he could, he’d never forget, and
their relationship would never be what it once was.

“Time for cake.” Mamãe Silva appeared and took
her son by the arm.

Renaldo gave himself a mental shake. He was
here for a party and to wish his cousin and his family farewell before they
moved back to the States. His problems with Sabrina would have to be set aside
for now.

He clapped Leonardo on the shoulder. “Time to sing
“happy birthday” old man. I hope we don’t need a fire extinguisher to help you blow
out all those candles.”

“Very funny.”

One of the caterers wheeled out the cake and
everyone broke into song: “
Parabéns pra você, nessa data querida, muitas
felicidades, muitos anos de vida
.”

Renaldo’s gaze slid to Sabrina, who stood
singing heartily with everyone else, swaying from side to side with Lucélia in
her arms. How well he remembered when she had learned the Portuguese words for
him on his last birthday, at an intimate party for two. It had been one of the
sweetest memories of their marriage.

Right from the start, her dedicated efforts to
learn his language had impressed him. He liked to hear her speak it with her
accent. It was cute. Sexy.

She’d always done things like that to please
him. It was hard to reconcile that woman, the one he’d fallen in love with, with
the woman who’d broken his heart by sleeping with another man.

He couldn’t understand it. Had it really
happened? Or was he going to wake up and find out the entire episode with the
photos had been a bad dream? That she was still the woman he married. The woman
who’d promised on their wedding day to be the best possible wife. Not the woman
who’d committed the one act, the one sin he found unforgivable.

Loud clapping brought his attention back to the
party. Leonardo had blown out all the candles. His cousin reached for Alexa and
planted a kiss on her lips, which resulted in more clapping and cheering. He
wondered if his cousin knew how fortunate he was to have a wife who loved him
and two beautiful, healthy children.

The party continued late into the night with
lots of dancing and drinking. Renaldo was finally able to break away from a
conversation with one of his uncles and went in search of Sabrina. When he
found her, she was sitting on a stool rocking a sleeping Lucélia in her arms. The
sight of her holding the child gave him pause and made him think again about
the future of their marriage. He’d planned to have this type of life with her. Children,
family, all of it. Again he wondered if he could forgive her.

“She’s fast asleep.” She smiled at him when he
sat beside her.

“You should take her to her room.”

“It’s no bother.”

Leonardo and Alexa were among the couples
dancing. As they swayed to the softly playing music, he rubbed his wife’s back.
They seemed to be lost in each other’s eyes.

Seeing them like that made him want to get
closer to Sabrina.

“You should put her to bed.” He wanted to make
love to her. Needed to.

“Oh.” She smiled knowingly, and rose with the
baby in her arms.

She didn’t get far because Mamãe Silva
approached. “I’ll take her.”

Sabrina handed the child over to her
grandmother and Renaldo took her hand and led her into the house.

They made slow, unhurried love to each other.
Afterward, as they were lying in bed, Sabrina propped her head on her elbow and
gazed down at him. She ran a hand over his chest. God, she loved him, and being
free to touch him like this, to make love with him, was wonderful. But not
being able to connect with him on an emotional level was killing her. They used
to share everything, but now the only part of himself he shared with her was
his body.

She dragged a fingertip down the middle of his
chest and played in the soft hairs.

Renaldo took her hand and kissed her palm.
“Ready for round two?”

“In a little bit.”

She wanted to ask him about his mother, but
didn’t know how to broach the subject. Maybe the reason he hadn’t forgiven his
mother was because
she
had left. But the circumstances surrounding their
situation were different. Sabrina hadn’t left voluntarily, and she wanted to
stay married. So maybe he
could
forgive her.

“I have something to ask you.”

“Yes, I want to have sex again,” he joked.

He was in a playful mood. Maybe she should leave
well enough alone. But she couldn’t help wondering about his mother and how his
feelings about her played a role in their relationship.

“I wasn’t going to ask you that, but it’s good
to know.” She swallowed her nervousness. “Alexa told me about your mother.”

Renaldo frowned. “Oh?”

“Why didn’t you tell me your mother is still
alive?” she asked quietly.

His body stilled and he let go of her hand. “My
mother is dead.”

Sabrina tried to tread carefully because she
didn’t want him to get upset. “Not your stepmother. Your biological mother.”

 “What difference does it make?” He sat up with
a jerky, agitated movement.

“Because it’s part of who you are.”
And if
you share this part of your life with me, maybe it will help me figure out how
to save our marriage.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “It
would have come up eventually, but it was never relevant before.”

“It’s relevant to me.”

“Why? Because if you’d known you wouldn’t have
committed the same sin as my mother?”

That hurt, but she’d known she was treading on
dangerous ground when she brought up the topic. “Have you ever thought about
forgiving her?” She bit her lip. Her voice had faltered a bit on the last
words.

“She’s never asked for my forgiveness.” His
voice was emotionless.

Sabrina plucked at the bed sheet. “Have you ever
tried to contact her?” She had to know. If he couldn’t reach out to her and
forgive, then there was no hope for Sabrina. The wounds of their marriage were
too fresh.

“I don’t have anything to say to her, Sabrina.
Not after the way she treated my father, and not after the way she abandoned
us.”

“Do Beatrisa and Carolina feel the same way?”

“I don’t know what they feel. We never talk
about it.” He turned to look at her. “I have never told my sisters not to
contact her. That’s their choice, as it is mine. I chose not to, and I will
never change my mind about how I feel. She walked out on my father, and I
distinctly remember his reaction.” His eyes were angry in the dark room. “Do
you want me to tell you what happened?”

He didn’t wait for her to answer, forging on
with acid in his voice. “I never told anyone this, but I heard my father beg—
beg
her—to stay. He reminded her she had three small children, and do you know what
she replied? She said it was better this way. That she’d made a mistake getting
married and having children. A mistake. We—her whole family—were a
mistake
.
You asked me if I’ve ever made an effort to contact her. Why hasn’t
she
made the effort?”

He strode to the French doors that led to the
balcony and hauled aside the sheers to stare out into the darkness. The soft moonlight
cast his hard body in shadow.

Sabrina rose from the bed to stand behind him.
Her initial reason for broaching the topic had been purely selfish, but it was
clear that the hurt Renaldo felt ran deep. She placed a hand on his back.  

She’d felt the same resentment toward her own
mother at one time. But then the day had come when she’d had to identify her
mother’s body in the morgue after drugs had prematurely taken her life. Living
with the guilt of knowing how she’d felt about her mother and then having her
taken from her had been a hard cross to bear. She didn’t want Renaldo to
experience the same type of remorse.