Second Chances (5 page)

If she let it.

She nodded and watched Brian's smile widen.

He led the way to the bar, choosing a quiet, discreet corner at the back. They chose seats across from each other. He studied her quietly for a long moment. "It's really good to see you."

She managed a lopsided smile. "Is it?"

His gaze warmed, making her insides shiver. "Yes," he whispered, "it is."

The heat in his gaze became unbearable to resist. She closed her eyes briefly, breaking the contact. She took a deep breath and asked the burning question of the day. "Why did you really ask me down to the bar?"

"To apologize."

The answer flew back so fast she couldn't do more than stare.

Swallowing heavily, hating the anxiety and fear that clutched at her insides, she sent up a silent prayer to the universe.
Please don't let him apologize for the best night of my life
.

"For what?" She couldn't manage more than a whisper.

"For not being there in the morning. And…" he frowned, staring down at the black marble tabletop, "for not contacting you afterwards."

She shuddered. Painful memories extinguished the all-consuming heat. After a moment, she managed to get out the words choking her throat. "Why didn't you?"

His regretful sigh reached across deep into her psyche. "I was scared."

She blinked. Not at all what she expected. Looking at him straight on, she asked, "Really? Why?"

He slouched back in his seat, his hands folded together on the table.

She narrowed her eyes. He seemed so casual, unaffected. Unlike her. Then she saw it. He was squeezing his hands together so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Good. He wasn't in control. She sat back to listen.

"I'd just come out of a bad breakup of a relationship I thought was strong and steady. Then out of the blue you were there. I knew you, but…I didn't really know you. I hadn't seen you…really seen you, until that night. And that night was so strong, so passionate…" he stopped. He ran a hand over his hair, sighed deeply, then said, "It's as if everything I'd known and believed had been tossed upside down. I didn't know what was real and what was fantasy." He took a deep breath and added, "Then you said you loved me. And that was too far, too fast…and way too deep for me at that moment." He gave a self-conscious shrug. "And I took the coward's way out. I ran." He caught her gaze and held it. "Please forgive me."

Never could she have imagined this strong, confident man admitting to such behavior. Neither could she have ever imagined his reasoning behind his actions. She stared at him. Over the years she'd made a lot of excuses for his behavior. But she hadn't considered this one. It was the only one that could make her feel okay about his actions. Not good, but getting better as she contemplated the depth of his words.

Strong? Passionate? Inside, her heart smiled. The corner of her mouth tilted. "Fantasy, huh?"

A devastating grin slid out, sneaking into her heart. "Unbelievably great fantasy."

"Then maybe…just maybe I'll forgive you."

His smile winked out. "I am sorry. I never once considered your feelings that morning. How it would be to wake up alone." He leaned forward, grasping her hand gently in his, his thumb stroking, caressing hers. "I never meant to hurt you. I was young and stupid."

"It wasn't much fun." She winced inside and realized if he was coming clean, then… "I'm sorry, too. I knew you weren't whole that night. But…" she laughed lightly. "It was one of those events that make you forever wonder,
what if I don't take this chance…?
"

Silence stretched comfortably between them.

He reached out a hand. "Understandable. And I'm sorry for my part in any lasting bad feelings. But…"

She tilted her head, her former wariness rearing its head. Now what was he up to? "But…?"

His gaze deepened, enveloping her in a special glow of intimacy.

"I'm glad we had the time together we did. I'm just sorry for my actions afterward. I've kept that memory close ever since."

Hot, then cold, his words had taken her to the edge and back. She didn't know where she stood. Nor where she wanted to stand. Or where he stood, for that matter. He'd married and divorced in the meantime. So he hadn't exactly been waiting for her. What did that mean right now? For her. She swallowed. Hard. "And yet…you never contacted me. So it couldn't have been that good," she added lightly, asking but not really expecting more.

But her words brought back just how good they'd been together.

"It was
that
good." He frowned, staring down at her hands. "I couldn't contact you. I was ashamed of what I'd done. Figured I'd ruined my chance with you." He lifted his gaze to stare deep into her eyes. "Did I?"

The energy in their tiny booth electrified. She wanted to wrap around his hard length and drive him crazy…as crazy as he was driving her.

"Karina?" So soft. So sexy. So not subtle.

She shouldn't. There's no way another quickie affair was in her plans. A relationship, yes. A love affair, yes. A repeat of ten years ago, no.
Hell, no.

Staring into those magnetic eyes, knowing she had to hold true to what she needed this time round, she said quietly, "I'm glad you have the same memories as I do. I'm beyond delighted that you are still interested in me. But I won't…I can't…have a repeat of the last time."

There she'd said it.

And again he surprised her. Those eyes held her close, caressed her deep inside and promised to never let her go. "Understandable. Trust is a big issue. And I agree. So let's see where this might go, shall we? Friends?"

He held out a hand, palm up.

Tremulously, she reached out and placed hers in his. "Friends," she whispered.

***

Then next morning, Karina slouched comfortably back against the hard chair, propping her feet up on the seat in front of her, enjoying the silence of the empty room. She'd woken earlier than anticipated and had ended up here, anxiously awaiting the day's presentation.

It didn't matter at all that she was early. In the dimly lit space, she glowed with happy memories of the previous night. Not only had she gone to bed smiling but she'd actually slept. And slept well. Making peace with Brian had relaxed her and filled her dreams with rosy thoughts of a possible future.

She'd wanted to phone her friends, but sent text messages, instead. Maybe it was the fear of reality intruding in her amazing little fantasy bubble. Or maybe it had to do with not wanting to jinx things. Regardless, even though she wanted to fill Cat and Serena in on these new developments, she wasn't completely ready to do it.

Brian tugged at her heart in a way that she couldn't define. She was so aware of him physically. If he'd wanted to, his words might well have seduced her last night. She wanted to reach out and experience heaven again…but she wanted it all this time. All or nothing. No more being a captive to the memory.

Feminine power surged through her. And that surprised her.

She felt almost primal.

Lost in thought, the
clunk
of a latch and a movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. Someone stood at the double doors, surveying the layout of the room. So still. So silent. Waves of malevolent energy emanated from the figure. She watched him for a split second before slouching deeper into her chair. Again, she felt a flash of recognition. Was it the man she'd seen last night in the rain?

She stayed slumped down in her chair. Had he seen her? She heard the door open and close. Stealing a quick glance around, she realized the stranger was nowhere to be seen. It was a good thing she'd already been lounging down in her seat before the stranger had even opened the doors.

Had he been the man standing out in the rain last night? The more she thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Had he seen her? Luckily, she didn't think he had. Did he realize this was Brian's seminar? She'd caught only a glimpse of him, but that was enough. The sudden chill made her sit up to look uneasily around again. A quick check of the large, shadowed room did nothing to dispel the sense of wrongness.

Just then the overhead lights snapped on as Mark strolled in, bringing a calming influence back into her world.

Relief and a sense of relaxation swept through her. "Good morning, Mark"

Mark started in surprise. "Good Lord! Karina, did you sleep in here? I thought I saw you and Brian go into the bar last night."

She flushed. Just how much did he know?

"I wanted to spend a few moments alone in the quiet before we start," she said, shrugging. She walked towards him, slowly stretching out her back. "Is it almost time?"

"Not quite. I needed to bring in today's worksheets and to check that everything is ready to go." He dropped the stacks of paper onto the table. Different sets went into different piles. "There, that'll do. All the chairs are set out. Good." He nodded, satisfied that the morning could begin. "I'm going to pick up a coffee before we begin. Do you want to come with me?"

"Let's go!" She walked out with him, the stranger in the shadows all but forgotten.

"Why are you soaked?" Susan asked a little later, as she eyed the raindrops still clinging to Karina's sweater.

Karina laughed. "Mark's as mad about coffee as I am. We skipped out to a little specialty coffee shop around the corner. Just look, a real mocha cappuccino to start my day."

Susan linked her arm through Karina's, shaking her head. "I'll always remember you for your coffee addiction."

"It's not that bad," Karina protested. But after a sidelong look from her friend, she admitted, "Okay, so it's bad. Speaking of which, I'd like to stay in touch after this weekend, if you're interested."

"Of course! I want to stay in touch! Maybe we could even get together on a weekend, too."

"I'd like that." Karina swiftly hugged her new friend.

Later that morning, the women paired up for another exercise geared toward relationship issues.

Susan whispered, "I'm hoping to get my husband's help with a secret dream of going into business on my own."

Karina gasped. "That's what I want to do, too."

With a much better understanding of each other's problems, it made for a productive and fun session.

As they headed toward the luncheon, Karina was overtaken with a strange foreboding. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she recognized the square set of shoulders and antagonistic angle of a man's chin, far ahead of them in the crowd. She tugged Susan to a stop.

"Look, Susan. That's the man from last night."

"How can you tell? It was so dark and rainy last night." Susan twisted, trying to catch a better view of the stranger through the throngs of people in the lobby. "Besides, so what if it is him?'

"He came into the seminar room this morning too. I don't know what it is, but he gives me the creeps." Karina kept shifting to track the man's movements. "He looks like he's searching for someone."

"We can go ask him if he needs help."

"No. I don't want to talk to him, but I'll mention it to Mark or Brian."

"They're both standing over there." Susan pointed out the two men waiting their turn at the buffet. "They probably can't even see him for the crush."

"Let's go talk to them." Karina led the way through the sea of people, trying to keep one eye on the stranger's whereabouts. Finally reaching her goal, Karina reached up to tap Brian on the shoulder. He turned quickly, accidentally knocking into her. A quick save on his part stopped her from falling.

He held out his arms and, after a quick intake of breath, she walked into them for a short, gentle hug. "I'm sorry about that, Karina."

"It's okay." Karina's eyes drifted shut and she held Brian to her for a heartbeat too long. It was too tempting to stay in his embrace, too exciting to feel the firmness of his chest and the muscles in his back. She gave him a gentle squeeze before withdrawing.

Karina caught Mark's assessing gaze and warmth filled her cheeks.

"Oh, you were just trying to sneak into line, weren't you?" Mark winked at her, diffusing some of the tension in the air.

She smiled gratefully at the big man. "Not at all," she protested. "But I did want to speak to both of you. Remember that creepy man standing in the rain last night? I think he was just here again. He acted like he was looking for someone."

Brian turned to look over the crowd. "Where did you see him?"

"I saw him over by the door when we first came in." Unconsciously, she rubbed her arms as if to ward off a chill. "I think it was him, but can't be positive."

Mark eyed her curiously. "He really disturbs you, doesn't he?" At her nod, he added, "Okay. I'll go talk to him. I'm sure a few answered questions will help you feel better."