Second Chance Brides (35 page)

“So? Lots of folks have big families.” He shoved his hands to his hips.

“I washed more laundry than I’ve made biscuits, and that’s got to be in the hundreds of thousands. I never got to do things with friends because I always had to hurry home after school or church to help Ma. I never had a room or even a bed to myself. I’ve never had a life of my own. I left home so that I could.”

“So? What’s that got to do with these kids?”

Leah closed her burning eyes.
Help him to understand, Lord
.

She reached out and caressed his cheek. His eyes closed, and he leaned into her touch. “I love you, Dan, and I desperately want to marry you, but I don’t want children.”

His mouth dropped open, and he stared with disbelief. He blinked his eyes several times as if trying to grasp what she said. “How can that be? All women want children. It’s what God made them for.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Well, it’s too late for regrets. We have five of them.” Leah shook her head. “Not me.
You
have five of them. I’m sorry, Dan. I just can’t raise another passel of children. You should have left them with your sister.” She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm again.

Fire smoldered in his gaze. “I told you that Louise has been sick in bed most of her pregnancy. Friends have been caring for her child. She was in no shape to take the children, and there ain’t nobody else.”

Leah wrung her hands together, not ready to give up on her dream of marrying him. Her gaze tore up and down the street, and she hoped no one was eavesdropping on their private disagreement. “Surely someone would take them in.”

Dan released her and backed up a step. His stunned expression made Leah regret voicing her thoughts.

“If you think that, you ain’t the woman I thought you were.”

“I want to be a wife, Dan. I’m not ready to be the mother of five children.”

“And I’m not ready to be the father of them, either, but I’ll not turn my own flesh and blood out on the streets.”

Leah pursed her lips. “That’s not what I said, and you know it.”

Dan leaned in close and glared at her. “It’s the same thing. You want me to give them away to strangers who’d most likely mistreat them and use them for child labor.”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this, Dan.”

His anger fled, replaced by desperation. “Leah, I need your help. How can I make a living with five young children to watch? The oldest two can go to school, but I can’t expect a five-year-old to tend a toddler and a baby—and I can’t take them to work. It’s too dangerous. I need you now more than ever.”

Tears coursed down Leah’s face. She wanted to help him, but to do so went against everything she’d dreamed of. How could she give in? How could she face herself in the mirror each morning if she did? How could she stand to lose him?

She shook her head and backed away. “I’m sorry, Dan. I can’t do it. I can’t marry you now.”

She turned and fled up the street.

“Leah, wait. Don’t do this!”

Everything had been so perfect. Why did his brother have to die? “Why did You let this happen, Lord?”

Mrs. Foster shook out a blanket and stared at her from the entrance to her tent. Leah turned away, refusing to meet the woman’s gaze.

She needed time alone.

She couldn’t return to the boardinghouse.

The Sunday house, which sat next to the boardinghouse, was always open, and nobody was currently staying there. Leah dashed into the small house and collapsed on the bed in the far end of the room.

Her sobs filled the air. How could this happen, just when she was ready to get married? Her heart broke as her tears soaked the pillow. She missed Dan already.

She hated disappointing him and leaving him in a lurch.

And she hated herself for doing it.

C
HAPTER
27

J
ack walked down Bluebonnet Lane toward home with Tessa Morgan beside her. The girl had worn a blue dress with ruffles on the bodice and hem to school, and her blond hair hung in loose ringlets, not nearly as tight as they’d been this morning. Jack shook her head and stared down at her own serviceable calico. The dark blue pinafore kept her dress cleaner, so her ma said, but it made Jack hot. If her ma had her druthers, she would put her in something as fancy as Tessa’s dress, probably a pink one. She shuddered at the thought. Too bad girls couldn’t wear overalls to school like some of the boys did.

“I really like Mrs. Fairland. She’s real nice.” Tessa flounced a ringlet over her shoulder. “But there sure aren’t many girls in your school.”

“Yeah, they’re mostly younger than me. That’s why I hang around with Ricky and Jonesy.”

Tessa turned up her nose. “I don’t understand why you like those boys. They’re just a couple of rabble-rousers, and their clothes are all worn out.”

Jack shoved Tessa’s shoulder, receiving a glare from the girl. “Huh-uh, you take that back.”

Tessa hiked her nose in the air. “I can think what I like, and I don’t have to like them just because you do.”

Jack clenched her fist, ready to smack that smirk off of Tessa’s face, but she didn’t. She’d get in trouble, and besides, hitting others wasn’t a good thing, unless the other person was Butch Laird.

And where had he been, anyway? Had he decided not to attend his last year of schooling? Most of the children in Lookout went to school up to the eighth grade, but sometimes the boys were needed at home for work and didn’t attend when they got older.

They moved to the side of the road as a wagon drove down the street. Surely she wasn’t missing Butch. He did add some excitement to her mostly boring life. Although Billy Morgan was doing a good job of taking Butch’s place. Jack grinned, remembering how Mrs. Fairland had done a jig when she’d opened her desk drawer and found the tarantula Billy had put in it.

Pounding footsteps sounded behind them, and she whirled around. Billy ran toward them. He slid to a stop and grinned, blue eyes twinkling. His blond hair hung over his forehead, much like Ricky’s did when it was long. “Wanna do something fun?”

Jack studied the tall boy. She had yet to decide if she liked him or not.

“Mama said to come straight home from school.”

“What kind of fun?” Jack couldn’t resist asking.

Billy grabbed her arm and pulled her into the alley that ran behind the bank. “Over here.”

They stopped beside a big bush that sat behind the mayor’s house. “Look on that porch. You see that pie on the table?”

Jack stood on her tiptoes and peered over the bush. Sure enough, there was a pie cooling on the porch table. “So.”

“I can’t see, Billy,” Tessa whined.

“Shut up before someone hears you.” Billy glared at his sister. She crossed her arms and scowled, her lunch bucket swaying at her side.

“You go knock on the front door,” Billy said to Jack, “and I’ll sneak up there and get the pie.”

“That’s stealing, Billy, and you know you’ll get in trouble.” Tessa stomped her foot, covering her new shoe in a cloud of dust.

Billy leaned into his sister’s face. “Not if you don’t tell, and if you do, I’ll find that dumb doll of yours and break her head.”

Tessa gasped and turned white. The porcelain doll was her dearest possession. Jack had never played with dolls and couldn’t understand Tessa’s fascination with it, but she didn’t want to see the pretty doll destroyed. “Leave her alone.”

Billy shoved his hands on his hips. “If you don’t help me get that pie, you don’t get to eat none of it.”

“I get all the pie I want at home, and besides, my ma’s cooking is far better than Mrs. Burkes’s. I’m leavin’.” Jack knew better than to steal a pie. Stealing was breaking one of the Ten Commandments, and she was already in enough of a stew pot with her lying. She peeked up at the sky, knowing she was lucky God didn’t strike her down dead for all the things she’d done. She still wanted to tell Luke that she’d lied about Butch, but she was afraid of what would happen to her. Would he quit loving her if he knew she’d lied and that Butch had spent two days in jail and lost his job working for Mrs. Boyd because of something he didn’t do?

She jogged across the street with Tessa on her heels, her mouth watering for the snack her ma always had waiting.

“Wait up. Mama said ladies shouldn’t run.” Tessa hurried across the street, walking as fast as she could without actually running.

“I ain’t no lady.”

“Mama says we shouldn’t say ain’t.”

Jack halted and stared at the girl. “Well, she ain’t my ma, so I don’t have ta mind her.”

Tessa’s mouth worked like a fish, opening and closing. “Don’t get all tetchy. I didn’t mean nothing by it.” She looked over her shoulder where her brother had been and then leaned in close to Jack’s ear. “Billy’s always doing bad things. Mama says it’s because he don’t have a pa, but I don’t have one, and I don’t do the things Billy does. That’s one of the reasons Mama wanted to move here. Folks back home are fed up with Billy’s shenanigans, and the sheriff was threatening to lock him up.”

Jack opened the front door of her home, not the least bit surprised by Tessa’s confession. Billy had a cantankerous gleam in his eye that set her on edge. Not even Butch had that look. Butch mostly got picked on because he was so much bigger than the other kids and he always stunk like pig slop. But she’d finally realized that he had a big heart. She needed to work up her nerve to go see him and apologize. She couldn’t forget how he’d said he just wanted to be her friend and how he thought she was different from the other kids. What made him think that?

She set her books on the bench of the hall tree and walked down the hall while Tessa ran up the stairs to her room. The pastor had preached about hell last Sunday and told folks they needed to repent of their sins and make
resti
—what was that big word? Make amends, that’s what he said. She didn’t want to apologize to Butch, knowing it would taste worse than eating a grub worm, but it was better than burning in the Lake of Fire and not going to heaven when she died. Her first pa was surely in the Lake of Fire, and that alone made her not want to be there.

Ma wasn’t in the kitchen, but Max lumbered to his feet and wagged his tail. “Hey, ol’ boy. How was your day?”

The dog whined a greeting and followed Jack upstairs to her bedroom, where she shucked off her dress and put on her overalls. She’d spend ten minutes in the garden so her ma wouldn’t make her put her dress back on.

She helped herself to one of the three small plates of cookies her mother had set out for her and the Morgan kids, then downed some water and headed outside. Max opted to return to his position near the stove. If her ma was out visiting, she’d be returning soon to start supper, so Jack quickened her pace, wanting her ma to see her hard at work in the garden without even being told to do so. Plopping down next to the bean patch, she started pulling weeds. Thankfully, not too many had grown since she’d last cleared them.

Someone ran toward her, and she peeked through the climbing vines of beans. Billy jogged in her direction, carrying the pie plate. The scent of apples and cinnamon teased her nose as he passed close to her. He looked her way, and she ducked down.

“I see you. Too bad you didn’t help with this pie. It’s apple. My favorite.”

He walked down the dirt row, not even taking care to avoid the plants.

“Hey! Watch out. You’re crushing the spinach.”

He flopped down right beside her, holding the half-eaten pie on his lap. “So, I don’t like that green stuff.” He faked a shiver. “But I do like pie.”

Jack plucked another weed and tossed it at Billy’s shoe. “You’ll get sick eating that whole thing.”

He shrugged. “Nah, I won’t. I’ve done it before.”

Jack’s mouth watered at the fragrant scent, but she wouldn’t dare ask for a bite. That was stolen food, and he’d be lucky if it didn’t give him the hives.

Two hours later, Jack sat at the supper table, watching Billy shovel in his chicken and dumplings like he was starving. How could he eat so much and not get sick?

Luke finished his meal and pushed his plate back as he glanced around the table. Jack could tell he had something on his mind. The table was nearly filled with her family, the Morgans, that Miss Smith, and the two boardinghouse brides. Shannon looked fairly well for the first time in weeks, but Leah’s eyes were red, as if she’d been crying. What had happened to her?

Luke cleared his throat. “The mayor’s wife came to my office today and told me somebody stole a pie from her back porch. You kids know anything about that?”

Jack glanced at Billy and then Tessa. She’d gone white, but Billy kept forking food in his mouth.

“Mrs. Burke said she thought she saw a boy running away.” Luke tapped the table with the end of his fork.

Billy took a drink. “I bet it was that Laird kid. I’ve heard he causes lots of trouble in this town.”

Jack blinked and stared at the boy. How could he lie through his teeth like that and still look so innocent? She almost wanted to learn to do it herself, but lying put a bad taste in her mouth. She’d done it to protect her friends, but no more. She didn’t like how she felt afterward.