Second Chance at Forever (Forever Book 2) (37 page)

I decided at that moment that my daughter had put up her protective stance and was clearly not ready to hear all the details of my past. I simply tabled this already tense conversation and let her know I’d be there when she was ready. I decided to change the subject.

“Riley, I have to go out of town tomorrow.”

“To see
him
?” Her facial expression darkened, making me wince. This is not the same girl that was blindly happy last week.

“Not to California, but back to New York. Do you remember when you asked me about Freddy?” She nodded. “Well, when I told you that I had arranged a spa day, it was not exactly the truth.” Her eyes now brightened, and I had my daughter’s full attention. “I’ve been in contact with my friend, Marsha Malin, who was my agent back when I modeled. She’s also very close to Freddy. Marsha had arranged for me to see him while we were in New York during your college trip. His foundation was putting on a charity event in Central Park, and of course he was front and center. I was planning on surprising you with a meet and greet of your own, had things gone well between Freddy and I, but I missed out on my chance.”

“Because of daddy showing up?”

“Yes. I still wanted to see Freddy and take you with me, but you know what happened next, and we had no choice but to go with your father. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not daddy’s fault for wanting to be with his family. I behaved badly when I should have been happy that daddy was trying. He’s sorry for everything. You know that, right?”

“I do, Riley. I understand why he behaved in the manner he did, and I have forgiven him for it. You need to do the same. Your father is one of the best men I will ever know in this life. He loves you, so please love him back. He is still the same man that you adore.”

“But…”

I put my hands up to Riley. I was not going to keep talking in circles every time I said something positive about her father, only to have to defend myself again.

“Mom, how long will you be gone for?” Clearly the fight seemed to be out of her system.

“I’m leaving in the morning. I’m hoping my friend will give me the time I need to reconnect with him.”

“If he doesn’t, then will you come home?”

“No, I won’t, Riley. From New York, I have to make another trip to Georgia to visit with your great grandparents. If you think the talk we just had was hard, then sit back and get ready for the fireworks display. I owe Nana Lila a long overdue explanation, and it’s time.”

“Can I go with you, mom?”

“I’m sorry, baby, but no you can’t. You have school, and it’s nearly over. You will be busy with prom preparations and graduating festivities. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Mom, can’t you go and return from New York, and then this weekend we can fly to Georgia together?”

“Well, I know your Nana would love to see you. Okay, I’ll make the arrangements, and we will leave on Friday, after your morning classes.”

“Yay! I’m so excited. I can’t wait to see Nana.” She hadn’t smiled like that since we said goodbye to Walker and Jackson at the airport.
This
was my Riley, smiling and happy.

“Your father only has morning surgeries scheduled tomorrow, so he will be here waiting for you when you return from school. I’m leaving before dawn, so hug me now, and I’ll call you from New York.” She didn’t hesitate, and walked toward my waiting arms.

“I love you, Riley. I promise we will work this out.”

“I love you too! Have a safe trip.”

I watched my daughter climb the long staircase up to her room, never looking back at me. I felt as if I had a thousand pound boulder sitting on my chest. This was not something I was familiar with when it came to my relationship with my daughter. We never had this distance between us.

My phone had been going off the entire day. I avoided every single call and text from Walker. He must have been going out of his mind wondering what was going on with me, but I was sure his man outside was keeping him updated.

I packed for my trip, and before going to bed, I looked at his picture, and got lost in his beautiful eyes staring back at me. Even through a picture he had this magical power to pull me in and make me submit to him. I grabbed my phone from off the side table to call him.

I quickly dialed his number before I chickened out, and I hung up. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to touch him. I missed him so much, but I needed to take care of me before I could be with him. His voicemail picked up after the fourth ring. I simply left him a message.

“Hi. Please don’t be angry with me for not returning your calls sooner. This day has been taxing, to say the least, and I’m happy it’s over. I’m leaving in the morning for New York. We talked about righting the wrongs in our past; well Freddy is one of my wrongs. I need to make things right with him, and I truly have no idea if he will even see or talk to me, but I have to try. Walker, I have so much to tell you, but I can’t right now on this message. If you believe anything…please believe that there is not a second in my day that I’m not thinking of you. I love you, and I promise I’m not running. I promise to call you soon. I love you.”

Before I could say another word, his phone cut off. I wasn’t going to call him back. I was exhausted after my emotional day with Samuel and then Riley. I took one last look at his picture before I turned the lights off.
I love you, Walker.

The next day at JFK Airport in New York, Marsha greeted me with her usual effervescence. Marsha was always on. She was both a morning person and a night owl. I couldn't imagine how much coffee was running through her veins.

“Well, look at you! All bright and shiny. It has to be a crime to look this good, and so early in the freaking morning.”

“Good morning, Marsha. Thank you for picking me up.”

“What? You think I drove? That’s what limos are for, doll. Come on, Freddy is waiting for you.”

“What? He knows I’m here?” I started to feel completely nervous.

“No, that’s not what I meant. Reese, he’s been waiting for this day since you left all those years ago. He loves and misses you more than you know.”

“What if he refuses to see me?”

“Not a chance.”

I took a breath, and we exited the airport. Marsha fired out instructions to her assistant, while I sat there tapping my knee. I don’t know why I was so nervous. This was Freddy we’re talking about. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body.

“We’re here, baby girl. Go get him.” Tears began to fall down my cheeks with anxiety coursing through my body.

“Hey now, come on, sweets. Today is a good day, and I promise you he is going to plotz when he sees you. Now dry your eyes, and get your ass in that studio.” She pointed her long finger at me.

“I love you, Marsha.”

“I love you more. Now get the hell out of my car.”

That did it, and all my anxiety was gone. Time to see Freddy. I left my bag with Marsha, knowing I would see her later. His studio was beautiful. Freddy’s success was lining the walls of his entryway. This was what he always wanted to do. His designs had changed the face of fashion, and his foundation was changing lives. I prayed our reunion today would change mine.

“Reese Mitchell?”

I turned around and saw a familiar face.

“Hi. I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Trina Blair. I met you in Milan when you did your first Cosmo cover.”

“Of course I remember you, but you had blazing red hair back then.”

“Yes I did, but thank you to the color gods. How the hell are you? I can’t believe you’re standing here in our office.”

“Our?”

“Let me re-phrase. I’m Freddy’s assistant. I run his New York office.”

“You don’t model anymore?”

“No. I gave that up a long time ago. I’m married with twin boys and have lived in New York for the past twelve years. My husband is a photographer and travels with Freddy on the European locations. It all makes sense to me now. Marsha had phoned me after the Central Park show, and asked me to clear his entire schedule for this week. I knew I couldn’t do that without raising any red flags, but she said it was life or death, so I guess she meant you?”

“Marsha does have a unique way of being melodramatic, but I guess yes, she meant me. I’ve lost touch with Freddy, and I’m hoping he’ll see me today.”

“Well, you won’t know until you walk through that door.” She gestured down the long hallway to the last door on the left. It was Freddy’s private office where he designed. Trina gave me a hug for good luck, and I made my way to his office.

I slowly walked inside, and no Freddy. This place was huge. I walked around and took in the beautiful view from his window.

“Peaches… is that you?” So much for being strong. The sound of Freddy’s surprised voice brought on my falling tears. I quickly wiped them away and turned around to face my friend.

“Hi, Freddy.”

He just stood there staring at me, as if I was a ghost or something.

“How are you standing in front of me now?”

“It seems I’ve been getting that reaction a lot lately. I’m here for you, Freddy. I needed to see and talk with you.”

“Go home, Reese, back to wherever you came from.”

“What?” My legs felt like jelly. This was what I feared from my best friend…rejection.

“Go home. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Freddy, please?”

“No! I do have something to say. You took away our friendship without ever discussing it with me. That friendship was more important to me than anything. I trusted it, I believed in it, and now it’s gone. Did you know how much I needed you? Did you know my career was in the toilet? You never answered one of my calls or letters. If you would have answered one damn call, but no you never did, and now you’re here? For what, Reese? What the hell do you want from me?”

I’m looking at my best friend—my Freddy—and all I want to do is laugh out loud and run into his arms.

“Did you just quote the reunion scene from
Beaches
?”

He finally breaks and laughs along with me.

“Really, Freddy?
Beaches
? I guess Bette Midler is still your favorite.”

“Well, I had to say something, and I just watched that movie over the weekend. It was Cry Me a River Weekend on cable television.” He opened up his arms for me. Oh, thank god! Three strides and Freddy was holding me. He kissed the top of my hair and tightened his arms around me. My cheek was nestled on his chest…I was home.

“I missed you so much, Peaches. I can’t believe I’m looking at you right now.”

“Freddy, can you ever forgive me for leaving you? I’m so sorry for any pain I caused you. I can’t live one more day without you in my life. Please, Freddy? I need you to forgive me.”

“Are you staying this time?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then you’re forgiven. Don’t you ever leave me again.” We just continued to hug and cry until we had no more tears to shed.

“Talk to me, and tell me everything,” Freddy said.

“Oh, Freddy, that would take way too long. How about the short version? And we will table the long story for another time?”

“Fair enough, I always did better with the short version anyway.”

“Freddy, I never wanted to leave you. After I lost my son…Walker’s child, I was lost. The life I knew in New York was over, and I was truly alone.”

“Bullshit! Reese, you had me. I would have been there for you, but you left me without ever asking how I felt about it. You never called me back, and you disappeared.”

“You’re right. I did those things and so much more, but Freddy, losing Walker and then my baby was my breaking point. Walker’s soulless father stopped every single attempt I made to see him. After I lost our child, I had nothing left of him. I don’t expect you to ever understand my reasons for what I did, but at the time I truly felt I was doing the right thing. I needed to protect my Nana and Granddaddy, and I wasn’t going to let Phillip Reed destroy what they had built and worked so hard for. He could hurt me all he wanted, but my family was off limits.”

“Reese, don’t you know that we would have fought him with you? Walker would have never left you. He would have chosen you before his bastard of a father, you know this. He told you time and time again how he felt about you and also how he felt about his father. Why do you have this self-deprecating side to you? If you would have just trusted the ones that loved you, all of this could have been avoided.”

“You don’t know that, Freddy. It’s on me, all of it. I take responsibility for the part I played in literally breaking apart my life, but it was my choice.”

“All I know is that I hated to leave you in the hospital, but you asked me to go. I thought we would be seeing each other soon, not nearly two decades later.”

“Freddy, it’s so much more complicated than you know. After you left, I had suffered a breakdown. I woke up days later bound to my hospital bed. The hospital staff said I tried to hurt myself. I wasn’t Freddy, believe me. The thought of suicide is abhorrent to me, you know that. I was just in pain and suffering the many losses in my life.”

I started tearing up when I continued and said, “First my parents, then Walker, then my child…All gone. I felt I had hit rock bottom and had nothing left. I just wanted to run as far as I could, but I didn’t get too far. Once I was calm and returned back to the living, my doctor who had treated me from the first night was there again by my side. Dr. Samuel Briggs was holding my hand and smiling at me as I opened my eyes.”

I pressed forward with my story. “Freddy, I wasn’t ready to face Nana and Granddaddy. I couldn’t bear to tell them the truth and have them see my shame. You were back in Europe, and it seemed everyone else was going about and living their lives. Walker had already moved on with Elizabeth, so when Samuel offered me a way out, I took it and simply never looked back.”

I continued, “He asked me to take a chance and move forward with him. At the time I had thought he was insane, but he wasn’t. Samuel was on the verge of becoming a rising star in his chosen field. He was on the fast track, beginning his career as head Neurologist over at Johns Hopkins. We dated for several months, and then we married. He never gave up on his pursuit of me. I never lied about my feelings for Walker, and although Samuel wanted more, he took what I could offer him. We were friends, then lovers, but I was never truly in love with him. My heart had always belonged to another.”